FabSwingers.com forum: Women

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are several reasons on the 1st one being we are in the middle of a pandemic so many people are not engaging in conversations with new people. The 2nd reason men vastly outweigh women on this site so its not uncommon for men to say they don't get much response.

Thirdly its often about approach on the profile and in messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women read profiles. If they know you're not compatible they won't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what your sending them and if it warrants a response in their eyes.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I think that many are not interested in making new friends at the moment.

The simple fact that we are in the middle of a pandemic makes the already difficult task of getting responses even more of a challenge.

I can't offer profile advice as you haven't requested it... but remember that it's your shop window and there's hundreds of men on here who are genuinely single. Being attached will put of a large proportion of ladies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So much competition, not messaging the right ones or like me you're actually the picky one and don't want a response from just any rando.

Women are best to answer this one for you though, might be something to do with your messages or profile...

I know i don't get many but as i said im picky who i message, not verified for the same reason and that puts people off soo.. double edged sword eh

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha "

Give us an example of a message you send hoping for a response. Most of the messages we get are dreadful and we wouldn't waste our time replying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

Give us an example of a message you send hoping for a response. Most of the messages we get are dreadful and we wouldn't waste our time replying. "

Give us an example of a good one in your eyes?

Mine are probably horrendous but i struggle when given a lack of information or practically having to guess what the other person would like to chat about lol so many different opinions/dos and donts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

Give us an example of a message you send hoping for a response. Most of the messages we get are dreadful and we wouldn't waste our time replying.

Give us an example of a good one in your eyes?

Mine are probably horrendous but i struggle when given a lack of information or practically having to guess what the other person would like to chat about lol so many different opinions/dos and donts "

Then if the profile doesn't give you enough information to go on they probably aren't for you.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha "

On reading your profile it says you are married and not to contact you if we have a problem with that, I’m guessing most ladies do hence the lack of interest

Kudos for having it there, it’s best to lay your table out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Okay so as a first message I generally start off by saying that I’m just a straight forward, easy going, no pressure guy looking for some fun and excitement. I will always be honest up front and say that I’m married but unfortunately as much as I love my wife, she has gone off sex some five years ago so am looking for some nsa safe discrete fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the feedback. I get the pandemic thing but I’m not asking to meet currently.

What is your feedback on my profile, and please be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay so as a first message I generally start off by saying that I’m just a straight forward, easy going, no pressure guy looking for some fun and excitement. I will always be honest up front and say that I’m married but unfortunately as much as I love my wife, she has gone off sex some five years ago so am looking for some nsa safe discrete fun "

The bit about your wife would actually put me off. Mentioning you are wouldn't Necessarily be in issues but I don't wanna know when information. Is someone is put off by the fact you are married the reason as to why you are looking elsewhere would be irrelevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try mentioning something about there profile that you liked

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well I always start off with honesty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the problem OP

Sex is the last thing we are thinking of right now.

Why ask about sex when it's off the cards for many months if not a year to come?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the feedback. I get the pandemic thing but I’m not asking to meet currently.

What is your feedback on my profile, and please be honest "

OK now you have asked i can give you feedback.

The bit at the bottom is fine and perfectly reasonable.

Maybe a bit about what you are looking for in a potential meet and maybe a bit more about yourself although its not too bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try mentioning something about there profile that you liked"

Good call.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yea that’s fair enough which is why I am always honest from the get go. Rather that then lie tbh.

If you are willing I would welcome some feedback on my profile, warts and all ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's the problem OP

Sex is the last thing we are thinking of right now.

Why ask about sex when it's off the cards for many months if not a year to come?

Mainly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not just you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah totally get that. Would still rather be honest tho x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good point thank you

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Have a look through my videos, they're extremely educational.

So is my profile text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yea that’s fair enough which is why I am always honest from the get go. Rather that then lie tbh.

If you are willing I would welcome some feedback on my profile, warts and all ha "

If when you are replying to a specific post you use reply and quote then it makes it easier to know who you are replying to.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Wow you sound like a catch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Aww thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah totally get that. Would still rather be honest tho x"

It's good to be honest.

But you need to change your approach.

Have your honesty on your profile, that's fine.

But to get chatting on messages don't me too full on from the start.

Try and spark a conversation, like you would in a pub.

You wouldn't ask for a shag straight away, you'd get chatting first about random stuff and make them laugh etc

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By *iger1980Man
over a year ago

cambridge

Don’t expect anything, but accept everything.

By accepting everything I mean if that person doesn’t message you back then accept and move on.

Equally true is what Einstein said (think it was him) “definition of madness/insanity is to do the same thing over and over again expecting a different result”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a look through my videos, they're extremely educational.

So is my profile text.

Hahaha. How on Earth have I missed your videos I have just watched one about the 12" penis and I am cracked up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a look through my videos, they're extremely educational.

So is my profile text.

Hahaha. How on Earth have I missed your videos I have just watched one about the 12" penis and I am cracked up.

They are epic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah totally get that. Would still rather be honest tho x

It's good to be honest.

But you need to change your approach.

Have your honesty on your profile, that's fine.

But to get chatting on messages don't me too full on from the start.

Try and spark a conversation, like you would in a pub.

You wouldn't ask for a shag straight away, you'd get chatting first about random stuff and make them laugh etc

I never start off asking for a shag, although I did try it a couple of times to see if I got a response ha.... no it didn’t

I generally read their profile I start a conversation from that

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Don't ask me......im not a woman!!!!

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

I know what site this is but I pretty much ignore all the messages that ask for sex straight away. I like the ones where guys say hello and are relaxed

Also I get loads of messages some days so i still might only reply to a couple, just depends on my mood and how busy I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have friends on here that we keep in contact with but tbh we mainly just use the forums at the moment. Any new contact tends to fizzle out fairly quickly as you can’t make plans to meet.

Its very quiet on the site OP, added to the fact you are married which will limit your chances of a reply. That’s not a criticism, you’ve been upfront about your situation but it will certainly be one of the reasons for your lack of success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never start off asking for a shag, although I did try it a couple of times to see if I got a response ha.... no it didn’t

I generally read their profile I start a conversation from that "

Ahh gotcha

I based my answer on your message template you posted earlier. You mentioned about NSA fun, I wouldn't say stuff like that or be too formal.

I just want to put a spin on this about basing a message on a profile.

When I had my old account, I got bored of the same compliments, the same comments about my profile.

I wanted someone just to say hello and talk random rubbish with humour to stand out.

Now others may prefer a comment based on their profile, but it got boring for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is mix it up.

Vary it, try different approaches until you find one that works.

When I worked in sales I always tweaked and changed my pitch until it was perfected.

If something isn't working, try new stuff.

But now, I actually want messages based on my profile since I changed it. Have a read of it

Having a funny profile works wonders

I read once about the most successful online dating profile.

He pretended to be Jesus.

It was a total joke and hilarious about the wacky miracles and so funny, but it stood out, it got him loads of success.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

Give us an example of a message you send hoping for a response. Most of the messages we get are dreadful and we wouldn't waste our time replying.

Give us an example of a good one in your eyes?

Why would you want to message somebody if you have nothing to say to them?

I think we may be onto one of your issues here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I never start off asking for a shag, although I did try it a couple of times to see if I got a response ha.... no it didn’t

I generally read their profile I start a conversation from that

Ahh gotcha

I based my answer on your message template you posted earlier. You mentioned about NSA fun, I wouldn't say stuff like that or be too formal.

I just want to put a spin on this about basing a message on a profile.

When I had my old account, I got bored of the same compliments, the same comments about my profile.

I wanted someone just to say hello and talk random rubbish with humour to stand out.

Now others may prefer a comment based on their profile, but it got boring for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is mix it up.

Vary it, try different approaches until you find one that works.

When I worked in sales I always tweaked and changed my pitch until it was perfected.

If something isn't working, try new stuff.

But now, I actually want messages based on my profile since I changed it. Have a read of it

Having a funny profile works wonders

I read once about the most successful online dating profile.

He pretended to be Jesus.

It was a total joke and hilarious about the wacky miracles and so funny, but it stood out, it got him loads of success.

"
aww some great stuff there

Thank you for taking the time x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have friends on here that we keep in contact with but tbh we mainly just use the forums at the moment. Any new contact tends to fizzle out fairly quickly as you can’t make plans to meet.

Hi V thanks for response and get what your saying re the lack of being able to meet.

Will always be honest about my situation so yeah I guess a lot of peeps on here will not approve x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what site this is but I pretty much ignore all the messages that ask for sex straight away. I like the ones where guys say hello and are relaxed

Also I get loads of messages some days so i still might only reply to a couple, just depends on my mood and how busy I am. "

Ah fair enough, I never ask for sex straight off, always wait til the second message

only joking!

Yeah same here, I like to chat, laugh and build some rapport

Thanks for responding x

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By *all me FlikWoman
over a year ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

"Women read profiles. If they know you're not compatible they won't reply.

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

Give us an example of a message you send hoping for a response. Most of the messages we get are dreadful and we wouldn't waste our time replying.

Give us an example of a good one in your eyes?

Mine are probably horrendous but i struggle when given a lack of information or practically having to guess what the other person would like to chat about lol so many different opinions/dos and donts

Why would you want to message somebody if you have nothing to say to them?

I think we may be onto one of your issues here. "

So sorry, I missed your response.

A good message would be something in connection with their profile and of interest to both. Having a laugh is imply too.

Thanks for responding x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck OP

If all else fails, pretend to be Jesus

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good luck OP

If all else fails, pretend to be Jesus

Christ..... ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha "

Just read definitely the bit about being married. Id pass you by sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

Just read definitely the bit about being married. Id pass you by sorry"

Yeah totally understand and appreciate your views, but would rather be honest. Obviously I am aware a lot would not aprove. Thanks for responding though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never start off asking for a shag, although I did try it a couple of times to see if I got a response ha.... no it didn’t

I generally read their profile I start a conversation from that

Ahh gotcha

I based my answer on your message template you posted earlier. You mentioned about NSA fun, I wouldn't say stuff like that or be too formal.

I just want to put a spin on this about basing a message on a profile.

When I had my old account, I got bored of the same compliments, the same comments about my profile.

I wanted someone just to say hello and talk random rubbish with humour to stand out.

Now others may prefer a comment based on their profile, but it got boring for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is mix it up.

Vary it, try different approaches until you find one that works.

When I worked in sales I always tweaked and changed my pitch until it was perfected.

If something isn't working, try new stuff.

But now, I actually want messages based on my profile since I changed it. Have a read of it

Having a funny profile works wonders

I read once about the most successful online dating profile.

He pretended to be Jesus.

It was a total joke and hilarious about the wacky miracles and so funny, but it stood out, it got him loads of success.

This guy was a genius

good advice also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

Give us an example of a message you send hoping for a response. Most of the messages we get are dreadful and we wouldn't waste our time replying.

Give us an example of a good one in your eyes?

Mine are probably horrendous but i struggle when given a lack of information or practically having to guess what the other person would like to chat about lol so many different opinions/dos and donts

Why would you want to message somebody if you have nothing to say to them?

I think we may be onto one of your issues here. "

I never said I had nothing to say to them, if anything I'm the opposite and suppose I always have something to say? Haha

As i say on my profile that can be both good and bad.. I'm also very picky and know I won't be everyone cuppa so if the sh*te i chat isn't suitable then so be it.. no biggie... but a lot of people on here don't put too much on their profile which actually i think is better if you get the chance to get to know someone, even if it's only on a friendly chat level.. just chat and hopefully something chill... but hey, that's just me and what I'm looking for

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

"I know what site this is but I pretty much ignore all the messages that ask for sex straight away. I like the ones where guys say hello and are relaxed

Also I get loads of messages some days so i still might only reply to a couple, just depends on my mood and how busy I am.

Ah fair enough, I never ask for sex straight off, always wait til the second message

only joking!

Yeah same here, I like to chat, laugh and build some rapport

Thanks for responding x"

Your first kinda message...to me that’s asking for sex. You say what kinda sex your looking for. Most people on here are after that so I assume that’s a given. When it’s said in the first message I think that there is no personality or that they don’t care who they message

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I know what site this is but I pretty much ignore all the messages that ask for sex straight away. I like the ones where guys say hello and are relaxed

Also I get loads of messages some days so i still might only reply to a couple, just depends on my mood and how busy I am.

Ah fair enough, I never ask for sex straight off, always wait til the second message

only joking!

Yeah same here, I like to chat, laugh and build some rapport

Thanks for responding x

I can honestly say in the x years I've been on I've not asked for sex once

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By *eansayianMan
over a year ago

oxford

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha "

I don't get responses either,i get men messaging testing there luck though! lol but im straight but they still try! just wish it was easy to get responses from women! i sometimes get responses when i send my face pics with initial messages, but then the next day they seem to forget and just go onto ignore my next messages again! im guessing because they forget who theyre speaking to as they receive so many messages from so many men. Its exhausting anyway! so i cant be bothered to use this site to meet women anymore, i get more sexual offers on pof which is bizarre! i just come on here to browse the forum now when im bored and ogle a few pics every now and then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is it so difficult to get a response from a lady? Can’t just be me..... or can it ha

Totally agree & getting there myself - occasionally come on to see if I can find my needle but the hay stack is far too big and full of..

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