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Why are we hard on ourselves?

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By *irewolff OP   Man
over a year ago

Dublin

When it comes to our weight.

I know I am. I lost 2stone when I found out my husband was having an affair. I couldnt eat due to huge anxiety. That regime obviously wasnt healthy or sustainable. When I was in a better placec & met MrD, I started putting weight back on.

Fast forward to now & I put on some more weight. I have bone cancer & needed a hip replacement as a result. Hence no exercise for 2months. Back exercising now but its not always easy as I am on 5 different cancer meds & having alot of side effects.

I am a little bit squidgey alright but wayyyyyy too hard on myself. Why do we do this to ourselves? This is not a rant in order for people to tell me I look ok. Its a constant daily mental battle. I love food & am an emotional eater.

Why cant we be happy with what we have???

MsD

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

A culture around weight loss and body image which is toxic and focuses on easy answers, and individual blame to the detriment of also including systemic issues.

Throw in a similar culture around mental health.

Being encouraged to compete and compare ourselves with others.

You are ok as you are. You are good enough (that's not a put down).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not something I do, because it's draining and counterproductive

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Because people who are supposed to love and support you call you names like "fat, doughnut-eating cunt".

Other people tend to make overweight people feel bad, and think they are doing them a favour by shaming them into losing weight.

Using someone's appearance as a weapon in an argument is quite common for people who have no intelligence.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Someone once said to me no one just "is" an emotional eater...instead we choose to use food inappropriately rather than dealing with our emotions.

It's ok to be happy,sad, angry, scared or any and all of the whole gamut of emotions.

Be kind to yourself.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Someone once said to me no one just "is" an emotional eater...instead we choose to use food inappropriately rather than dealing with our emotions.

It's ok to be happy,sad, angry, scared or any and all of the whole gamut of emotions.

Be kind to yourself."

It's an easy "fix". Like other easy fixes it's not long lasting and has consequences.

I know this, and sometimes I choose to do it anyway. Sometimes it's the least bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullying-wise, it's an easy cheap shot. Apart from any health issues, what does it matter to other people what size a person is?

Of course people find various shapes and sizes attractive, which is fine, but if something isn't attractive to you, I don't know why you wouldn't just go look at something else?

We all look at something about ourselves and don't like it - but as OP says, sometimes I have to ask myself why? There's people who are into whatever you think is 'wrong' with you, whatever it is.

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