FabSwingers.com forum: To tell or not to tell!

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

If you met someone who wasn't into the swinging scene and you were really into them, would you tell them about yourself?

When would you tell them?

Have you ever had to have that conversation?

How did it go?

Were they intrigued and open to try forthemselves?

Or did it end the relationship?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd tell then only when close and we've had mutual trusting of each other, sharing things on each side. I'd probably not do it very early but it would depend, as above. If I was wanting an open relationship, it would be more important for me to share that, rather than what my lifestyle is.

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I'd tell then only when close and we've had mutual trusting of each other, sharing things on each side. I'd probably not do it very early but it would depend, as above. If I was wanting an open relationship, it would be more important for me to share that, rather than what my lifestyle is. "

I'm probably the opposite in that I'd tell early on before things became to involved.

I imagine it could be quite difficult to fall for someone knowing that they wouldn't approve of my choices.

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By *aCaiMan
over a year ago

Telford

I think some things are meant to be private. If it was becoming a serious relationship where you both felt strongly about one another. I personally would drop this lifestyle. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but unless further down the line we ended up both wanting the same thing then of course I’d see where it went. Philosophy of all that is I believe people should know what they need to know, without being dishonest or lying

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It's a tricky thing for me. Being a Tgirl is a fundamental part of me and it's something I should be clear about with people, as it can be a deal breaker. However, telling someone before I know them that well is tricky. Leave it to late and it's equally awakward

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If you met someone who wasn't into the swinging scene and you were really into them, would you tell them about yourself?

When would you tell them?

Have you ever had to have that conversation?

How did it go?

Were they intrigued and open to try forthemselves?

Or did it end the relationship?

Yes I would, on day one.

I've never had the conversation and hope I never have to.

If it ended the relationship it would mean that I wasn't the kind of person they were looking for.

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

It depends. Are you on here to pass time whilst you find a relationship and would be in a monogamous relationship with that person? Or would you want to introduce them to the swinging lifestyle?

If you want to leave this lifestyle behind there’s no need for them to know early on, we all have pasts. If you hope they’ll join in swinging with you or you have no intention to stop they should know early on. At least that way, if he’s not interested neither of you have invested too much into the relationship.

If he asks a direct question give him an honest answer.

Lou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i met jen off a dating site we chatted about our pasts and opened up and we both admitted that we had both played with swinging cpls and singles on here. It made this easier for us i found and we both discussed about swinging as a cpl together and in turn joined here as a cpl. But it is not so easy to discuss with someone who has not experienced this lifestyle at all. I think early on is better before you both get to deep and catch feelings and someone gets hurt discovering you are not the person they thought you were. But your call op

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By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"If you met someone who wasn't into the swinging scene and you were really into them, would you tell them about yourself?

When would you tell them?

Have you ever had to have that conversation?

How did it go?

Were they intrigued and open to try forthemselves?

Or did it end the relationship?

Yes I would, on day one.

I've never had the conversation and hope I never have to.

If it ended the relationship it would mean that I wasn't the kind of person they were looking for.

This for me

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I've had the conversation and glad I did as although he was a lovely guy we just wouldn't have got on right physically. Although that isn't everything in the longterm - at 35 I wouldn't want to give that up just yet

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I would tell them from the start and if they did not like it i would kiss them goodbye. I have no intentions of getting involved with someone who judges me or who wants to change me.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Depends upon how much you value this lifestyle. If you want to continue for me it's as early as possible, before things turn a little serious. If you are prepared to leave this scene behind I'm not sure I'd mention it unless asked directly, it's a time before them and shouldn't bare any significance.

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By *izzibeth9Couple
over a year ago

Loughborough

"If you met someone who wasn't into the swinging scene and you were really into them, would you tell them about yourself?

When would you tell them?

Have you ever had to have that conversation?

How did it go?

Were they intrigued and open to try forthemselves?

Or did it end the relationship?

How would you know they're not into the swinging scene unless you have that convo?

Maybe you're both secret swingers dying to tell each other?

Also I think the earlier the better, maybe even after the first date or two.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"If you met someone who wasn't into the swinging scene and you were really into them, would you tell them about yourself?

When would you tell them?

Have you ever had to have that conversation?

How did it go?

Were they intrigued and open to try forthemselves?

Or did it end the relationship?

How would you know they're not into the swinging scene unless you have that convo?

Maybe you're both secret swingers dying to tell each other?

Also I think the earlier the better, maybe even after the first date or two."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think some things are meant to be private. If it was becoming a serious relationship where you both felt strongly about one another. I personally would drop this lifestyle. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but unless further down the line we ended up both wanting the same thing then of course I’d see where it went. Philosophy of all that is I believe people should know what they need to know, without being dishonest or lying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May be the best option is to see how the conversation flows, you can talk around the subject and imply that you are open minded and then decide what reaction is shown by the other person?

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By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Couldn't have put it better, how you met is key and it would be evident early on what type of relationship it would be. If I met a lady that I was considering a serious relationship with I would put my footloose and fancy free days behind me and concentrate on the relationship.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I would tell him straight away, I have this urge to break something that's good to see how good it actually is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would tell him straight away, I have this urge to break something that's good to see how good it actually is

I think that's a good idea. I would like to be told early on. I think sharing this sort of intimacy about yourself can help make it stronger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve told all my partners in the past. It’s part of me. It doesn’t mean I want it to carry on in the future if they are not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not heavily into the swinging scene as in I don't go to clubs etc .. so does meeting people for sex count as swinging?

I'm not sure knowing numbers and details about a partners former sex life is essential.

I don't know.

I'm rubbish at relationships and wouldn't know how to approach the subject if I got the feels for someone.

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By *HEFFUN78Couple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Best conversation we ever had was me telling bec what I got up to before we met...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a swinger either and would be very content with monogamy if a relationship is what I wanted. On the one hand my sexual history is nobody else's business. On the other if a man is the type to judge a woman for having casual sex then he isn't someone I want to invest my time and affection on. It would be difficult to discover that without a conversation revealing all. I suspect a large proportion of people would view me as 'spoiled goods' for being on here.

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