FabSwingers.com forum: Bad Icebreakers at Swinging Clubs!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For example!

"Hi! I'm Tarquin! As its couples night and I didn't get any replies from my meet today post - i'd like to introduce you to my mother!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

parp - oops sorry!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"For example!

"Hi! I'm Tarquin! As its couples night and I didn't get any replies from my meet today post - i'd like to introduce you to my mother!"

Not keen on the name old chap, but some of us would be flattered by yer mother.

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By *uyuksno1Man
over a year ago

poole

is this greedy girls night ive bought me sister cos she wanted to check it out

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

All the sexy people are busy so I thought I'd see if you were interested! Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Excuse me! Does this handkerchief smell of chloroform to you?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I say old bean, are hard spikes allowed on the greens or soft spikes only?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Excuse me! Does this handkerchief smell of chloroform to you?

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Can I have a 7-up please......no, wait, I meant a drink, can of pop, you know, flipping Sprite......oh what the hell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wanna swing on my pole sweetcheeks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi my names paul,

I havent been here before, I wasnt sure whether to come tonight, especially as Im still on the antibiotics, but the GUM clinic assures me I'm nearly cleared up!

So, do you fancy going upstairs??

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Happen to have any nodders. We only came out with seven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse me mate, that's the letter box, not a glory hole!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll just have one more drink and you'll look much better...

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By *gentprovocateurWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I thought we were all taking our mothers on holiday?

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By *rey AreaMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 18/07/12 20:48:27]

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By *rey AreaMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Does your guide dog take part as well...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does you partner know you are here?

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By *rey AreaMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Who do you think brought the dog......?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fancy a shag?"

"Well as no one else seems to want either of us I agree with them about you"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Look! Let's face it! We're the only two left not in the gangbang room.

And after all - any holes a goal - eh?

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By *rey AreaMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I say Chief Constable, fancy meeting you here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Fancy a shag?"

"Well as no one else seems to want either of us I agree with them about you" "

I wouldnt say you knew the alphabet to them . . . You would come slightly unstuck ( just so you know, its a, b, c , D not a, b, c, B )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Fancy a shag?"

"Well as no one else seems to want either of us I agree with them about you"

I wouldnt say you knew the alphabet to them . . . You would come slightly unstuck ( just so you know, its a, b, c , D not a, b, c, B )"

Well I wouldn't be so gobby about your reading skills either (seeing as you wish to carry on an argument from another closed Thread). What I actually said was:

"c) If you don't like b) don't dish out what you can't take "

It was a backward referral.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True one: ...Couple coming down stairs in Chams. get to the bottom and the lady hears her mothers voice say 'What the hell are you two doing here?'

The situation wasn't helped later at the bar when the son in law said to the mother ..'Fancy popping upstairs for a while?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/07/12 09:17:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"True one: ...Couple coming down stairs in Chams. get to the bottom and the lady hears her mothers voice say 'What the hell are you two doing here?'

The situation wasn't helped later at the bar when the son in law said to the mother ..'Fancy popping upstairs for a while?'

Got to admire him for that? He must have balls of solid granite!

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

didnt realise this was a bbw night, you are huge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you know how much a polar bear weighs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You're definately the most convincing TV here tonight and those falsies are amazing!!!!!!

Oh!!! You're the owners wife!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry about the brown stains in my undies its warm night and I had a long journey on the bus over here and it had vinyl seats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmmm love the Vicars robes sweetie ...."

"Oh you ARE a vicar. On a pastoral visit. Okkaaayy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're definately the most convincing TV here tonight and those falsies are amazing!!!!!!

Oh!!! You're the owners wife!!!

Pmsl Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading this thread had me in fits of giggles,, have cheek ache now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is that right the bitch on security is a Lesbian?"

"Is that A &E ...."

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Ugh what's that smell?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You see that absolute stunner over there?

Well i've been pestering her all night and she's finally just told me to fuck off - so you think you could give me a quick BJ to make her jealous?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's not cum on my leg, its wall paper paste - honest

They ran out of cheese for the cheese toasties, so I brought my own

Will you walk me back to my car later, there's a rotweiller outside, and it won't be scared of me ...

So the saying 'if the wind changes direction ...' is really true

Me and mates drew straws to see who could chat you up, I lost and here I am

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

my pustules are nearly cleared up so hopefully im ok to play now

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By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral

True story at Cupids a good few years ago....

A couple entered an open play room and soon the dozen or so single guys had got into the room too. From a single guys perspective the club had been deadly quiet and there was a palpable tension in the air as the lady started to play with her man.

I was lieing next to them and after a few minutes made eye contact and got the nod to start to join in. Pretty quickly afterwards, most of the other guys had crowded round and the couple was having fun and clearly enjoying the attention.

Then form the doorway, as loud as you like, a guy shouts out "Does she cook too?"

The lady heard this and instantly ended the play, stating loudly that she did, and thanks to the loudmouth the fun was over.

Said Loudmouth was last seen running down the road chased by almost every single guy in Cupids....ok the last sentance is untrue but the guy did leave the club pretty quickly after the incident

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Someone tried that line recently at la chambre, it really is a passion killer!

nb: only use I'd you're feeling suicidal!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So is this the right place for the Jehovah's Witness meeting?

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

[Removed by poster at 19/07/12 14:39:34]

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By *hechairman18Man
over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester

If nobody wants to do it, I'll suck my own cock.

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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire(ish)

"If nobody wants to do it, I'll suck my own cock.

We don't think that's a bad ice-breaker!!

We'd watch that all day!! lol

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Is this truss yours?

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

'Was that you that farted in the play room?'

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"'Was that you that farted in the play room?'"

And followed through?

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Of course it a fresh condom, I've only used it twice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So. Do You come here often?

Get it? Come here often?

It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!

Come here often? Come? COME?

You know? Come? Orgasm?

Oh for fucks sake!!!!

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Eh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So. Do You come here often?

Get it? Come here often?

It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!

Come here often? Come? COME?

You know? Come? Orgasm?

Oh for fucks sake!!!!

I don't get it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Eh!

I said do you........oh never mind. You're not my type anyway! Now where's the buffet?

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

wow your'e perfect lets marry and have five kids

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

My husbands in prison for armed robbery, he won't be out for another month

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You look like a woman of the world! Does this look like I needs a visit to the clinic to you?

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

where is the room with animals?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do i have to wear a condom? i didnt think you could get H.i.v via the mouth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"True story at Cupids a good few years ago....

Then form the doorway, as loud as you like, a guy shouts out "Does she cook too?"

The lady heard this and instantly ended the play, stating loudly that she did, and thanks to the loudmouth the fun was over.

Said Loudmouth was last seen running down the road chased by almost every single guy in Cupids....ok the last sentance is untrue but the guy did leave the club pretty quickly after the incident"

haha i think she was just moody, that sounds pretty funny banter to me, but too much talking about random stuff when they group stuff going down aint for me

but thats one thing ive not liked sometimes at parties, when you get people who just talk about fucking anythign while ur having sex, bit off putting when someones having full conversations about the most meaningless off putting stuff killing the mood lol, im thinking just coz u cum dont mean i should be listening to you talk about football or something else i dont particulary care about right now lol , i much prefer a proper sexy mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So. Do You come here often?

Get it? Come here often?

It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!

Come here often? Come? COME?

You know? Come? Orgasm?

Oh for fucks sake!!!!

I don't get it

"
Going to the wrong clubs then.

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

I fancy the dungeon but can we keep the lights on?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can tell you're a greedy girl!!

I've been watching you hit the buffet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"True story at Cupids a good few years ago....

Then form the doorway, as loud as you like, a guy shouts out "Does she cook too?"

The lady heard this and instantly ended the play, stating loudly that she did, and thanks to the loudmouth the fun was over.

Said Loudmouth was last seen running down the road chased by almost every single guy in Cupids....ok the last sentance is untrue but the guy did leave the club pretty quickly after the incident

haha i think she was just moody, that sounds pretty funny banter to me, but too much talking about random stuff when they group stuff going down aint for me

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

You don't sweat much for a fat bird , wanna get your gums around this before I climb on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi there, dont mind the scabs in my cock, its not herpies, honest......

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

The demon in my head wants me to mate you and then devour you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi! Just wanted to say how gorgeous you look and that I've been watching you for a while now!!

Actually about 6 months - can you you do me a favour and not close your curtains at night - they're too thick to see through!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi im from sydney uni and im doing a survey

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"hi im from sydney uni and im doing a survey

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Excuse me - I just found this butt plug on the floor upstairs - and thought I'd try the 'cinderella' approach to find the owner.

Would you mind bending over please!

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Of course you don't recognise me, you haven't seen me since the op, silly

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By *ollytrollopWoman
over a year ago

Bolton

"So. Do You come here often?

Get it? Come here often?

It's a swingers club isn't it after all? Ha Ha!

Come here often? Come? COME?

You know? Come? Orgasm?

Oh for fucks sake!!!!

love it, best laugh i have had all day

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

I hope you are into scatology

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You've got a lovely smile luv, open wide - it's so big, you've got to grin to get it in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The last couple of days worth of posts have had me stitches - well posters

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I bet you 50p I can move your boobs without touching them!

Oh well - guess that's 50p I owe you!

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