FabSwingers.com forum: Ladies Being approached on the street thoughts

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it OK or not??

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

How would the approach be made?

I'd have no objection to a friendly hello from someone who had the nous to understand if their approach was unwelcome.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

To break the ice yes if it's very polite, life's short and they might be the one

Just read the body language and know when to finish the interruption to their day if you sense it's awkward

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

No.

Def Not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say no, the vast majority of women want to be left alone and just get on with their day. There’s a time and a place and it’s not on the street.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

No b bit weird x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Usually weird.

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Are we talking in a flirty way or those marketing people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would the approach be made?

I'd have no objection to a friendly hello from someone who had the nous to understand if their approach was unwelcome."

Exactly- it all depends on how and why I'm being approached.

A creepy 'I recognise you from Fab' approach is a definite NOOOOOOOO

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Are we talking about trying to pick a girl up for sex or to see if she's single and wants a coffee sometime ?

I can't see an issue if it's the second one but hell no to the first one.

Under a none covid situation of course.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Are we talking in a flirty way or those marketing people?"

Chuggers are one of the things I haven't missed !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My weirdo alarm would be full on red alert

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

If done properly, it doesn’t matter where.

I’m old fashioned, I actually enjoy a wolf whistle but that rarely happens anymore.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

150 years ago I was quite often approached by guys in the street, on the train or the bus etc. We'd exchange numbers, sometimes I'd even give them the correct one. Nearly all of them knew how to behave in public and the general rules of polite social interaction. Women would strike up conversation with me too.

Nowadays I'm rarely approached in the street but in cafes etc people chat but I'm so old it's only to be polite

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"150 years ago I was quite often approached by guys in the street, on the train or the bus etc. We'd exchange numbers, sometimes I'd even give them the correct one. Nearly all of them knew how to behave in public and the general rules of polite social interaction. Women would strike up conversation with me too.

Nowadays I'm rarely approached in the street but in cafes etc people chat but I'm so old it's only to be polite"

You look great for 150 plus years old

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Nowadays I'm rarely approached in the street but in cafes etc people chat but I'm so old it's only to be polite

You look great for 150 plus years old "

my thoughts also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's how it was actually done pre internet and it worked ... in all honesty way better than nowadays when everyone is plugged in and people are actually too afraid to talk to each other! It's sad times we live in ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's how it was actually done pre internet and it worked ... in all honesty way better than nowadays when everyone is plugged in and people are actually too afraid to talk to each other! It's sad times we live in ... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's all down to context and how it's done.

I had a lady (another customer) come to my table in a restaurant a few weeks ago and just slid a message with her mobile number across to me. I didn't even get a chance to see what she looked like it was that quick!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sent from iPhone

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

[Removed by poster at 30/12/20 20:45:42]

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

And enter their narrow search perimeters and only view their preconceived ideas of what they want.

Meeting people and talking to people, you'd click and then think, they're actually quite sexy. In the old days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are we talking about trying to pick a girl up for sex or to see if she's single and wants a coffee sometime ?

I can't see an issue if it's the second one but hell no to the first one.

Under a none covid situation of course."

I think a total stranger approaching them in the street to chat them up would make most freak out. Not a good idea and look weird and desperate

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By *picyrodMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I've spoke to a few ladies on the street during lock down but just polite hello pleasantries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sent from iPhone "
actually it's not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's all down to context and how it's done.

The old fashioned way ...!

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"Is it OK or not?? "

Tesco not the street

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Daytime fine with it. Nighttime atleast here in the states it freaks me out.

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By *iguy for funMan
over a year ago

CIRENCESTER

"Are we talking about trying to pick a girl up for sex or to see if she's single and wants a coffee sometime ?

I can't see an issue if it's the second one but hell no to the first one.

Under a none covid situation of course.

I think a total stranger approaching them in the street to chat them up would make most freak out. Not a good idea and look weird and desperate"

i think you are right but to be fair it's how it used to be when you approached strangers across the other side of the cafe/bar/pub/club - it worked for your/my parents/grandparents

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By *owithflow321Man
over a year ago

Molesey

However dangerous and illegal, it’s a buzz for both sides, no real satisfaction yet money for one (usually for their habit) moment of pleasure for the other

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

No. Absolutely not. I would never, ever approach a woman on the street. Creepy as fuck.

Closest I've ever come to this was in January 2015. It's about 4am on a Saturday night. I'm heading home, taking a backstreet to avoid the worst of the d*unken morons. I came across two ladies, obviously lost, a bit squiffy, and being followed up the street by a creepy guy monotonously shouting "Oi! Oi! Oi!" in an attempt to get them to stop and talk to him.

I politely escorted them round to the main road, flagged down a cab for them, and saw them safely off to wherever it was they were going to.

Don't ever be the "Oi! Oi! Oi!" guy. Jesus fucking Christ.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Im quite happy with a hello and a bit of a follow on conversation. As been said its how it was done in the old days.

What im not happy with is a guy walking up to me and asking me right out to go for a drink with him when i was pushing my grandson.

How on earth do people meet these dayd

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it's all down to context and how it's done.

It's definitely a context/ how it's done thing. Most attempts I've have been things like telling me to smile, marriage proposal kind of weirdness. Not hi how are you, just boom, will you marry me. No and go away

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nowadays I'm rarely approached in the street but in cafes etc people chat but I'm so old it's only to be polite

You look great for 150 plus years old "

Thanks, Dorian Grey is my brother

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By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe

This has happened to me (vixen) a few times, its a definite no, very cringy and yes theres definitely a time and place

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nowadays I'm rarely approached in the street but in cafes etc people chat but I'm so old it's only to be polite

You look great for 150 plus years old

my thoughts also

What can I say

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Nowadays I'm rarely approached in the street but in cafes etc people chat but I'm so old it's only to be polite

You look great for 150 plus years old

my thoughts also

What can I say

Your secret...

And I don't believe in the portrait in the attic thing ... not working for me

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

I’ve approached a woman whose perfume was amazing... I had to ask what it was and she said thank you for saying so.. told me the name and we went on our way. Not sure what was wrong with that tbh... I wasn’t stroking my thighs at the time or did I have my hand down my trousers so not sure that’s creepy ... she seemed quite flattered I asked tbh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For me it would be in a polite manner to not scare her lool.. but yeah I just wanted to pick minds. Alot of different views

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I’ve approached a woman whose perfume was amazing... I had to ask what it was and she said thank you for saying so.. told me the name and we went on our way. Not sure what was wrong with that tbh... I wasn’t stroking my thighs at the time or did I have my hand down my trousers so not sure that’s creepy ... she seemed quite flattered I asked tbh"

She probably felt safe in the knowledge you might have been asking for a girlfriend or sister. Not because you wanted to roger her senseless.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

What a different world we live in now

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

She probably felt safe in the knowledge you might have been asking for a girlfriend or sister. Not because you wanted to roger her senseless.

So too subtle you mean lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its nice when someone approaches in a friendly and respectful way, just for a chat about anything. Without any second intentions. Then something interesting might come up

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

"What a different world we live in now"

Yeah, there are too many rules in place nowadays. It used to be a nice ego boost to get some interest and most people accepted a polite ‘no thanks’.

Lou x

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone. "

Or losing the art of making conversation

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nowadays I'm rarely approached in the street but in cafes etc people chat but I'm so old it's only to be polite

You look great for 150 plus years old

my thoughts also

What can I say

Your secret...

And I don't believe in the portrait in the attic thing ... not working for me

Oh ok. A daily rub down with a copy of the Sporting Life and liberal applications of goose grease

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It’s all in the context OP.

Although I am laughing, it’s London, don’t you know we don’t even do eye contact with strangers, let alone stop to talk

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

She probably felt safe in the knowledge you might have been asking for a girlfriend or sister. Not because you wanted to roger her senseless.

So too subtle you mean lol"

Yeah, next time glare at her boobs without blinking

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Its nice when someone approaches in a friendly and respectful way, just for a chat about anything. Without any second intentions. Then something interesting might come up

I met a girl in the airport check in queue once and a waitress in a coffee shop , both became good friends. it’s opportunistic not creepy, conversation / chemistry either happens or it doesn’t, it takes 2

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone. "
Think its pretty sad myself. Im never going to stop talking to strangers

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone. Think its pretty sad myself. Im never going to stop talking to strangers"

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

She probably felt safe in the knowledge you might have been asking for a girlfriend or sister. Not because you wanted to roger her senseless.

So too subtle you mean lol

Yeah, next time glare at her boobs without blinking

With or without my tongue out

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it cuts both ways. No, I don't want to be approached, but I'll be polite.

If your opening line is a proposal or a pick up line or you're staring, or you order to me to smile, I'm going to be politely scrambling to escape.

I'll be polite... Please don't be weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weren’t men told it’s toxic masculinity to approach women on the street ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weird here might get you shot. Expecially at night .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Weren’t men told it’s toxic masculinity to approach women on the street ?!"

But apparently stopping your mate going to say ‘hello’ to a woman isn’t toxic masculinity.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone. "

All friends were strangers before they became friends.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone. Think its pretty sad myself. Im never going to stop talking to strangers

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By *BWandhusbandCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

I think it depends how it's done. A smile and a compliment is a lovely thing to receive, possibly even the offer of someone's number. Someone following you around and harassing you is obviously not. Read the situation and the response you get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be normal, not everything is about fab. To me Fab should just be a wee naughty secret and if I saw an attractive women or couple I wouldn’t approach them on a random street or while they out shopping, only maybe in a social scenario and not many of them in lockdown but each to their own I’m just a lost cub in a big big world haha

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By *irsty bTV/TS
over a year ago

blackpool

A nice smile always worked before everyone started wearing masks

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By *tarbuck007Man
over a year ago

up2no good

"A nice smile always worked before everyone started wearing masks "
that was my best feature now im fucked! Wearing those feeding bags.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"My weirdo alarm would be full on red alert"

Mine too!

it’s a no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

It is better in the North but I’m in Essex and we chat with people out and about. I think context is everything. I had a really good conversation with a woman in a post office queue last week but I would never have stopped her at random.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

Yeah, this is fine. I've had some nice no pressure conversations in queues or on public transport.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

Yeah, this is fine. I've had some nice no pressure conversations in queues or on public transport. "

Ohhhhh I don't want to be chatted up or have Fab chat in public, but I will pass the time of day with the person in the queue etc

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

Yeah, this is fine. I've had some nice no pressure conversations in queues or on public transport.

Ohhhhh I don't want to be chatted up or have Fab chat in public, but I will pass the time of day with the person in the queue etc

Yup. I've never been Fab approached but I have had people very obviously try to pick me up in the street. No, I didn't know I had blue eyes. Why thank you kindly for the proposal. I'm sure I would look prettier if I smiled. *seeks escape*

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone. Think its pretty sad myself. Im never going to stop talking to strangers"

This..

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

I'll stop and say hello to anyone who speaks. Its polite and kind. Some people are very lonely and me saying a hello and chat about the weather may be the only conversation they have in the day.

I also wouldn't mind if someone paid me a compliment for example. It's nice to be nice.

But then we are Northerners who are known for being a friendly chatty bunch.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

One of the greatest pleasures in life is getting a smile from a nice lady,when you pass them on the street.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"One of the greatest pleasures in life is getting a smile from a nice lady,when you pass them on the street.

I smiled at you on the Pier Head, Lionel, but I had my skull and crossbones mask on

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"One of the greatest pleasures in life is getting a smile from a nice lady,when you pass them on the street.

I smiled at you on the Pier Head, Lionel, but I had my skull and crossbones mask on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

Yeah, this is fine. I've had some nice no pressure conversations in queues or on public transport.

Ohhhhh I don't want to be chatted up or have Fab chat in public, but I will pass the time of day with the person in the queue etc

I’m not sure I want to know what a Fab approach is !

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

Yeah, this is fine. I've had some nice no pressure conversations in queues or on public transport.

Ohhhhh I don't want to be chatted up or have Fab chat in public, but I will pass the time of day with the person in the queue etc

I’m not sure I want to know what a Fab approach is ! "

"I've seen you on Fab you're on my hotlist (details about what they think about my profile)... etc"

I've had it happen in clubs, but, different

On the street I'd die of embarrassment... Then seek my escape

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Why not. It is what used to happen before the Internet. People connected in person and took it on the chin if the sentiment wasn't reciprocated. I'll soon be able to read the situation and back out if it feels threatening or weird. Or say I'm not up for chatting.

But I live near the sea up north and people are generally chatty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chit chat out and about can be okay. I'm a Northerner though, we chat on the bus to randomers then go to London and get looked at like we're bonkers

Yeah, this is fine. I've had some nice no pressure conversations in queues or on public transport.

Ohhhhh I don't want to be chatted up or have Fab chat in public, but I will pass the time of day with the person in the queue etc

I’m not sure I want to know what a Fab approach is !

"I've seen you on Fab you're on my hotlist (details about what they think about my profile)... etc"

I've had it happen in clubs, but, different

On the street I'd die of embarrassment... Then seek my escape"

I’m a newbie in these parts but of course this must happen. Mortifying, and not a little creepy.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Why not. It is what used to happen before the Internet. People connected in person and took it on the chin if the sentiment wasn't reciprocated. I'll soon be able to read the situation and back out if it feels threatening or weird. Or say I'm not up for chatting.

But I live near the sea up north and people are generally chatty.

.... and something that shouldn’t stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll stop and say hello to anyone who speaks. Its polite and kind. Some people are very lonely and me saying a hello and chat about the weather may be the only conversation they have in the day.

I also wouldn't mind if someone paid me a compliment for example. It's nice to be nice.

But then we are Northerners who are known for being a friendly chatty bunch."

This

leaving someone with a smile is extremely rewarding, more in these times. So approach nice and friendly when you can, a lil hello and a smile can turn a grey day into something else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want to be approached in public, not by anyone.

I am autistic and never figured out small talk, I don't know what to say and it makes me uncomfortable. Plus I suffer from social anxiety and agoraphobia so when I am outside my house I am constantly on the verge of a panic attack. Plus, multiple bad experiences have sadly made me very wary of men I don't know.

I have a tendency to completely blank people when I am out in public because if I actually had to interact with people, I would never leave my house. I actually didn't, for two years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't want to be approached in public, not by anyone.

I have a tendency to completely blank people when I am out in public because if I actually had to interact with people, I would never leave my house. I actually didn't, for two years. "

Oh sorry I didn't mean to ignore anyone or generalize. Obviously to respect everyone's personal needs and space is essential and would defend that at all costs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends....I've had men stop me at events, I just laughed and walked away (more out of embarrassment, I'm not used to people looking at me). A nice (genuine) smile is always welcome?

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I had a guy walk up to me on the street in broad daylight, tell me my hair was amazing, and ask if i was married... He didn't look like a billionaire so i politely told him i was spoken for and made an escape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends.

While I’m working (happens a lot) ...no.

When it’s dark and on a quiet street/alley... absolutely not.

During the day in a polite, respectful way... yes, I wouldn’t have a problem with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really interesting thread, lots of different responses.

I’ve always been very shy and have actually made an effort to speak to people in public, which has helped a lot, but equally I can completely emphasise with how awkward this makes some people feel. No easy answers !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How funny. I was going to say I wouldn't dare initiate conversation with a woman anywhere for fear of an "toxic masculinity" alert. That lands me in hot water and a "#metoo" reputation. I actually actively try to avoid any situation that could put me at risk of an allegation.

But it's literally the normal way to meet people, less than 20 years ago the only way. But the attitude on here shows it's just not worth the risk saying hi and attempting to start a conversion in real life... it's somehow now "weird and creepy".

2000 "how did you meet?" "On the internet" "

2020 "how did you meet?" "ah he said hi to me in the street" "

what a creep"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How funny. I was going to say I wouldn't dare initiate conversation with a woman anywhere for fear of an "toxic masculinity" alert. That lands me in hot water and a "#metoo" reputation. I actually actively try to avoid any situation that could put me at risk of an allegation.

2000 "how did you meet?" "On the internet" "

2020 "how did you meet?" "ah he said hi to me in the street" "

what a creep" "

It’s only creepy if you make it creepy though.

I had a guy approach me in the supermarket last week, for the first 5 seconds I was flattered, then after the third compliment about my eyes it turned into creep territory

So many people lack social skills these days!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger and I had a little bit of confidence about me I literally would go up to two girls if I fancy them that is and ask them out one girl turned around to me and said we are out I didn't have a comeback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A compliment is nice.

Leery comments or stating fab, or aprroaching when I am with my kids.

No.

Just no.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

2000 "how did you meet?" "On the internet" "

2020 "how did you meet?" "ah he said hi to me in the street" "

what a creep"

It’s only creepy if you make it creepy though.

I had a guy approach me in the supermarket last week, for the first 5 seconds I was flattered, then after the third compliment about my eyes it turned into creep territory

So many people lack social skills these days!"

Yes. It's creepy if you're creepy.

So... don't be creepy.

And my bar for "not creepy" is not high

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2000 "how did you meet?" "On the internet" "

2020 "how did you meet?" "ah he said hi to me in the street" "

what a creep"

It’s only creepy if you make it creepy though.

I had a guy approach me in the supermarket last week, for the first 5 seconds I was flattered, then after the third compliment about my eyes it turned into creep territory

So many people lack social skills these days!"

I suspect that for many women it was always creepy, but it was more normalised. Almost all women have horror stories or being harassed or followed in public.

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By *ophie199Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Approach away.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

2000 "how did you meet?" "On the internet" "

2020 "how did you meet?" "ah he said hi to me in the street" "

what a creep"

It’s only creepy if you make it creepy though.

I had a guy approach me in the supermarket last week, for the first 5 seconds I was flattered, then after the third compliment about my eyes it turned into creep territory

So many people lack social skills these days!

I suspect that for many women it was always creepy, but it was more normalised. Almost all women have horror stories or being harassed or followed in public. "

Yup yup

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It may be fine but be cautious that some of us have had less than great approaches made before, so it may stoke issues.

It's probably better in a setting where people may feel safer, such as when others are around

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I wouldn't like anyone to approach me on the street and mention fab, but I am approached on the street sometimes with people looking to start a conversation.

I don't mind at all all as long as they are polite and not stalkerish.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

2000 "how did you meet?" "On the internet" "

2020 "how did you meet?" "ah he said hi to me in the street" "

what a creep"

It’s only creepy if you make it creepy though.

I had a guy approach me in the supermarket last week, for the first 5 seconds I was flattered, then after the third compliment about my eyes it turned into creep territory

So many people lack social skills these days!

I suspect that for many women it was always creepy, but it was more normalised. Almost all women have horror stories or being harassed or followed in public. "

Exactly this.

Approaching people cold in the street is creepy. It's rude, it's aggressive and it's selfish. Doesn't matter what your motivation is; you've decided that your desire to speak to someone outweighs their right to be left untroubled.

(Also, what planet do you lot live on where a stranger approaching you in the street isn't a prelude to, at best, verbal harassment, and at worst physical assault? Things must be different on Short Person World.)

Also, to all the people saying it used to be the only way to meet people... no. Pre-internet, we met people in designated social spaces – clubs and bars and what have you. Attending those places contains an implicit signal that one might be open to being approached. Walking down the street or buying your groceries? No, absolutely not.

Just leave people alone. Them being outside isn't grounds for you to pester them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a sad, sad world we now live in. Ultra depressing that people shouldn't speak to each other.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"What a sad, sad world we now live in. Ultra depressing that people shouldn't speak to each other.

I was in a pub some time ago and witness the most bizarre thing, youngsters stalking each others social media and messaging eachother rather than chatting face to face even though they were in the same pub. "
This thread does make sad reading there will come a time people will lose the ability to speak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It absolutely depends how it's done.

I would feel very uncomfortable if the person came across as pushy or unpleasant, but I do also understand that a lot of guys ruin it for the majority who probably just want to introduce themselves! And I find that quite charming!

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

I don’t even get looked at in the street so I would welcome someone coming to talk to me. Obviously not in a creepy way and certainly not trying to sell me something or if I have children with me and possibly not down a dark ally

Seriously though I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice hello, god knows what you would say after that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t even get looked at in the street so I would welcome someone coming to talk to me. Obviously not in a creepy way and certainly not trying to sell me something or if I have children with me and possibly not down a dark ally

Seriously though I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice hello, god knows what you would say after that

Lmao preferably not down a dark ally!

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

No!! It is NOT always creepy/rude/selfish. What is wrong with people???

If you're polite and/or funny, please continue to chat to me. If I don't want to, or find you creepy, I'll let you know or I'll walk away.

It's nice to be nice! I regularly complement people on the street/in Tesco/public transport and I've never once been ignored or told to eff off.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

Seriously though I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice hello, god knows what you would say after that

Lmao preferably not down a dark ally!"

No no, I think that’s classed as creepy

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By *antaswingsMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Seriously though I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice hello, god knows what you would say after that

I find that hard to believe

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

Seriously though I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice hello, god knows what you would say after that

I find that hard to believe

Which part? The dark alley part?

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I don't mind a nice hello, and even a little chat when there is something of interest to remark upon. I'm less keen though on the offers of marriage from scruffy blokes I've never seen before, and was not at all impressed by the guy who once just walked up to me and told me... I forget the exact words now, but it was something to the effect that he was going to very kindly let me give him a blow job?

Top tip guys, if you want to keep your testicles on the outside of your abdominal cavity, hello might be okay, but you are better to leave out the sexually suggestive remarks. Not all women are as mild mannered as i am...

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By *antaswingsMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Seriously though I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice hello, god knows what you would say after that

I find that hard to believe

Which part? The dark alley part?

Yeah the dark alley part

haha the staring at you in the street part too

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Is it OK or not?? "

Nope

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"A compliment is nice.

Leery comments or stating fab, or aprroaching when I am with my kids.

No.

Just no."

This. If done with discretion I have no problem. Letchy comments, heavy hints, etc are just cringe worthy and creepy. Just talk to me normally and don't send me a creepy message on fab afterwards saying you met me and not stating where and when, that will just get you blocked.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"What a sad, sad world we now live in. Ultra depressing that people shouldn't speak to each other.

I've seen this too, so sad.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 31/12/20 05:08:24]

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

What a sad, sad world we used to live in. Ultra depressing that people thought it was okay to inflict themselves on strangers just minding their own business in the street.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"What a sad, sad world we used to live in. Ultra depressing that people thought it was okay to inflict themselves on strangers just minding their own business in the street.

I really don't understand this notion you have that people are inflicting themselves on people.

As previous stated by myself, and plenty of others here, as long as guys aren't acting like tossers it's fine to strike up a conversation.

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

Seriously though I don’t think there is anything wrong with a nice hello, god knows what you would say after that

I find that hard to believe

Which part? The dark alley part?

Yeah the dark alley part

haha the staring at you in the street part too

Staring at me Implies they look at me.... they do not

. This is the actual truth. I am not people’s “type” with clothes on it seems

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"What a sad, sad world we used to live in. Ultra depressing that people thought it was okay to inflict themselves on strangers just minding their own business in the street.

I really don't understand this notion you have that people are inflicting themselves on people. "

I really don't understand this notion you have that people *aren't*.

I find it difficult to comprehend the level of arrogance required to think that the random person trying to get to work or catch a bus or whatever should be subjected to your desire to intrude upon their thoughts.

And that's before we get into how terrifying it can be for a woman to be approached cold by a strange guy. It's awful.

If ten women "miss out" on receiving compliments from me to spare the stress caused to one woman just quite understandably wants to me left alone, fine, I'll pay that price. I refuse to make anyone uncomfortable just because I've got the horn for a stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a problem

I enjoy flirting

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm sorry, the concluding paragraph of my last post should read:

"If ten women 'miss out' on receiving compliments from me to spare the stress caused to one woman who quite understandably just wants to be left alone, fine, I'll pay that price. I refuse to make anyone uncomfortable just because I've got the horn for a stranger."

Clearly I cannot type this morning. I hate not being able to edit one's posts.

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By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

We have seen many people off here out and about and never would i approach without having spoke to them before hand and asked if we were to see them. You never know if they are with someone who knows nothing about this side of them and we would never want to put someone in a bad position

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

I can see both sides of what people are saying but have to disagree with the notion that no one should be approached, ever..

Are we all supposed to meet electronically now? Vetted by our desires or even worse by some algorithms from a site that doesn’t know us.

What ever happened to striking up a conversation.?

Accepting a ‘no’ gracefully.?

Many years ago and prior to meeting Becky, I had a year long relationship with a girl I met in a motorway traffic jam, I’d noticed her doing her hair and commented.

In the past, I’ve complimented ladies on their outfits or shoes. One lady, at London Bridge station was over the moon that I’d noticed her Leboutins.

Seriously, the default setting shouldn’t be ‘creepy’ but we are social animals, be social towards people. You never know who you’ll meet.

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By *izmeCouple
over a year ago

Merseyside

I was approached by someone of fab so went back to his and we became fuckbuddies fot quite a while that was sexy fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can see both sides of what people are saying but have to disagree with the notion that no one should be approached, ever..

Are we all supposed to meet electronically now? Vetted by our desires or even worse by some algorithms from a site that doesn’t know us.

What ever happened to striking up a conversation.?

Accepting a ‘no’ gracefully.?

Many years ago and prior to meeting Becky, I had a year long relationship with a girl I met in a motorway traffic jam, I’d noticed her doing her hair and commented.

In the past, I’ve complimented ladies on their outfits or shoes. One lady, at London Bridge station was over the moon that I’d noticed her Leboutins.

Seriously, the default setting shouldn’t be ‘creepy’ but we are social animals, be social towards people. You never know who you’ll meet. "

Absolutely this ^^^ we're so far down a slippery slope of talking to strangers is 'creepy' or 'disrespectful' that now society is doomed ... like lots of leisure clubs & hobbies shut for good because noone will take over from 80 yo Maud who's run it for the last 50 years ... just because noone will talk to each other or give up 'their' precious time!

Well I've made more real life friends and gone out for more drinks with guys from just talking to a stranger (that lush hi & first smile) than I ever have off here or anything online! And will, hopefully, continue to be creeped out by disrespectful strangers for many more adventures to come!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only ever tried chatting someone up on the street the once, not counting any times I've maybe been walking home from a bar with friends and met some women and had a good tipsy flirt. The girl I chatted up I ended up seeing for several months but the conversation began when her shopping bag ripped open in front of me and I helped her gather up her items. I put some of her stuff in my bag and carried the rest and walked her home and we hit it off.

I would echo someone above and say that we are social animals and should never be made to feel like creeps for chatting to strangers. Once chatting then it's about reading the vibes and looking for chemistry before asking them out if thats what you're after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PS I will add that there ao many more wonderful things to life than just the sex that here reduces life to that talking to a strangers has absolutely nothing to do with! But may just lead to the best kind of adventures ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried chatting a woman up in my local Sainsbury’s, I walked right up to her and said ‘Excuse me, has anyone ever told you, you’re stood right in the way of the Dairylea Lunchables ?!’

Cut to the evening and I’m at home crying into a Cheesy savoury based snack by myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PS I will add that there ao many more wonderful things to life than just the sex that here reduces life to that talking to a strangers has absolutely nothing to do with! But may just lead to the best kind of adventures ever

This. I think some people are seeing every encounter through the prism of sex. If you approach a random woman/person looking for sex then I think by definition you’re probably a creep and should f right off, but there’s a whole spectrum of social interaction beside sex ! And anyone with half a brain should realise if someone is uncomfortable with you talking to them and leave them be.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

This said since being on here/pof I have looked at people out and about and viewed them and rated them like I do people here more! ie nice bum face etc.,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tried chatting a woman up in my local Sainsbury’s, I walked right up to her and said ‘Excuse me, has anyone ever told you, you’re stood right in the way of the Dairylea Lunchables ?!’

Cut to the evening and I’m at home crying into a Cheesy savoury based snack by myself. "

Whoops this actually made me laugh!

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

After reading some of the other posts I should point out that I’m absolutely not condoning approaching a total stranger and flat out asking for sex.!

If you need that pointing out to you then you have other much bigger issues to deal with..

This brings up so many parallels with all of the ‘single guys in clubs’ threads. If we lose the art of introduction and conversation, we’ll never be able to socialise...

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By *ustforfun1759Couple
over a year ago

IRVINE

There's a time and place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If something were to grow organically from a random chat with a stranger when I was out and about, I might see myself being open to that.

But I can't conceive a situation where that might happen, since I don't live in some Hollywood romance.

If a guy started complimenting me when I'm purposefully shoving my trolley round aldi, I'd be inwardly questioning his social skills

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading some of the other posts I should point out that I’m absolutely not condoning approaching a total stranger and flat out asking for sex.!

If you need that pointing out to you then you have other much bigger issues to deal with..

This brings up so many parallels with all of the ‘single guys in clubs’ threads. If we lose the art of introduction and conversation, we’ll never be able to socialise...

No, that’s not how your post read ! Of course we all experience everyday attraction but I hope most adults can chat and even flirt without it being overtly sexual- as others have said, perhaps these social skills are in decline ?

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Are we all supposed to meet electronically now? Vetted by our desires or even worse by some algorithms from a site that doesn’t know us.

What ever happened to striking up a conversation.?

Accepting a ‘no’ gracefully.?"

Nobody is saying that. See what I said in one of my previous posts:

"Also, to all the people saying it used to be the only way to meet people... no. Pre-internet, we met people in designated social spaces – clubs and bars and what have you. Attending those places contains an implicit signal that one might be open to being approached. Walking down the street or buying your groceries? No, absolutely not."

You exercise your social skills in spaces where approaching people is implicitly acceptable.

Telling a woman you like her shoes in your local swinging club? Absolutely fine.

Telling a woman you like her shoes in a dark alley at four in the morning? I hope she's already called the police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading some of the other posts I should point out that I’m absolutely not condoning approaching a total stranger and flat out asking for sex.!

If you need that pointing out to you then you have other much bigger issues to deal with..

This brings up so many parallels with all of the ‘single guys in clubs’ threads. If we lose the art of introduction and conversation, we’ll never be able to socialise...

Precisely! I've never once been approached "looking for sex" in my life thankfully, and I do think on here everyone's focus is sex so not an easy place for opinions on this topic. Unfortunately in life there are a small minority, thankfully, of guys who do actually believe ladies are here just for sex! But that is a whole different kettle of fish ... just talking to anyone should just be fun, a laugh, to make people smile and who knows, perhaps an adventure?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we all supposed to meet electronically now? Vetted by our desires or even worse by some algorithms from a site that doesn’t know us.

What ever happened to striking up a conversation.?

Accepting a ‘no’ gracefully.?

Nobody is saying that. See what I said in one of my previous posts:

You exercise your social skills in spaces where approaching people is implicitly acceptable.

Telling a woman you like her shoes in your local swinging club? Absolutely fine.

Telling a woman you like her shoes in a dark alley at four in the morning? I hope she's already called the police.

Your focus has very much been on approaching ladies in very much inappropriate times/places though? And tbh there is nothing wrong at 0400 asking a lady on her own if she's ok!

But honestly telling a lady you like her shoes absolutely anywhere will make her smile and probably her day! Why do you think it's so wrong?

I except not everyone has the inclination or the social skills to talk to a stranger then they don't have to do it! But honestly, people have talked to people, strangers, since we started moving houses for whatever reason

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've had plenty of nice, pressure free conversations with strangers. It's an intrusion yes, but I've become used to it.

I can count on one finger the number of friends I've made from encounters like these. I need more than one hand for the marriage proposal within a few sentences type, and I've lost count of the picking up or leering creepy type.

I'll be polite and pleasant, and give the benefit of the doubt. But people learning when to back off, to read discomfort, to not impose themselves on others, is their end of the bargain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, it's great that people are getting more progressive about respectfully leaving strangers alone. "

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By *lassyandkinkyCouple
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"Is it OK or not?? "

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it OK or not??

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street. "

Now hang on, some of that is on you

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By *attM73Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Depends on how much cash is in you’re wallet

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Is it OK or not??

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street.

Now hang on, some of that is on you "

Ooh yay, victim blaming!

Nobody is responsible for that man's shitty behaviour except him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All my successful encounters have started from face to face conversations. Not random approaches, but queue, bar, social event, even work etc. The internet is a big fail for me.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is it OK or not??

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street.

Now hang on, some of that is on you "

What, being polite, responding to a social interaction that she found pleasant, and believing what someone told her?

Oh how awful. Women should stop doing that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it OK or not??

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street.

Now hang on, some of that is on you

Ooh yay, victim blaming!

Nobody is responsible for that man's shitty behaviour except him. "

Would the behaviour be viewed as shitty if they'd lived happily ever after?

Because the thread is about the behaviour rather than the outcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had plenty of nice, pressure free conversations with strangers. It's an intrusion yes, but I've become used to it.

I'll be polite and pleasant, and give the benefit of the doubt. But people learning when to back off, to read discomfort, to not impose themselves on others, is their end of the bargain."

It’s good to hear these experiences, definitely gives pause for thought. It’s clear that even what one person perceives as friendly/innocent can be unsettling for another person. Think I’ll just go back to talking with myself when I’m out !

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Is it OK or not??

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street.

Now hang on, some of that is on you

Ooh yay, victim blaming!

Nobody is responsible for that man's shitty behaviour except him.

Would the behaviour be viewed as shitty if they'd lived happily ever after?

Because the thread is about the behaviour rather than the outcome "

Cheating on his wife, trying to pick up women in random places, a two-year campaign of harrassment... sounds like shitty behaviour to me.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I've had plenty of nice, pressure free conversations with strangers. It's an intrusion yes, but I've become used to it.

I'll be polite and pleasant, and give the benefit of the doubt. But people learning when to back off, to read discomfort, to not impose themselves on others, is their end of the bargain.

It's one of these weird cultural touchstones for me. The stuff that's not ok is so obviously not ok... But when I talk about it it's like, I want to ban all social interaction. No? Just... Think about what the other person might want (from a perspective other than your own), watch for signs that the other person isn't interested, treat someone with the respect and consideration you'd expect for yourself, your sister, or your mother.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it OK or not??

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street.

Now hang on, some of that is on you

Ooh yay, victim blaming!

Nobody is responsible for that man's shitty behaviour except him.

Would the behaviour be viewed as shitty if they'd lived happily ever after?

Because the thread is about the behaviour rather than the outcome

Cheating on his wife, trying to pick up women in random places, a two-year campaign of harrassment... sounds like shitty behaviour to me.

It absolutely is.I was more referring to the initial approach (which the poster went along with) but then the comment that approaching women in the street is not good.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your focus has very much been on approaching ladies in very much inappropriate times/places though?

Because men do this ALL THE FUCKING TIME and all the women in my life are utterly sick of the harrassment.

Seriously: Any approach outside of the kind of social spaces I've referred to above is harrassment. Leave people alone.

Unfortunately, too many of the approaches *in* those social spaces are harrassment too. Men are fucking awful. I've worked in enough clubs, intervened enough times, made sure enough people got home okay in the end.

I don't even have to *do* anything. I just have to be there. Because the sort of men who pull this shit back right the fuck off once another man is present. Because they respect the "property rights" of another man more than they respect the rights of women to live a life free of random creepers. Vile. "

I'm really sorry that you have had to experience such awful behaviour and that it has all legt you with such a negative view of men but this really is the opposite of my life experiences.

To be fair, in my clubbing days we knew it was viewed as a cattle market and that d*unk men can become leery but luckily because we knew that and we never excepted it we all had mainly awesome times - though a sign of the negatively changing times if it keeps getting worse!

Likewise I have male friends who when trying to really offer help (ie help with changing a burst tyre at the side of a road) that a lady has told to eff off they can do it themselves and when passing back two hours later is still there waiting for the rescue service it's a very sad state of affairs but you can't judge a whole gender on somes bad behaviour!

I'm lucky inasmuch as I've had fun meeting and talking to strangers in all kinds of situations and places ... maybe it's a little to do with my outlook and expectations perhaps as I'm annoyingly happy and optimistic?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

"Is it OK or not??

I was once ‘approached’ in Sainsbury’s car park while putting shopping in my boot. He offered coffee, bought me flowers, we swapped phone numbers and he took me for a meal.

Discovered he was married and living 200 miles away. He admitted he ‘picked’ women up in random areas like supermarkets to get sex eventually.

I ended it with him and blocked him but he bought new SIM cards and pestered me for 2 years ringing and texting me.

Not good approaching women in the street.

Now hang on, some of that is on you

Ooh yay, victim blaming!

Nobody is responsible for that man's shitty behaviour except him.

Would the behaviour be viewed as shitty if they'd lived happily ever after?

Because the thread is about the behaviour rather than the outcome

Cheating on his wife, trying to pick up women in random places, a two-year campaign of harrassment... sounds like shitty behaviour to me.

Ok, now I’m not trying to get into an argument with you but you really are generalising a lot about ALL men’s actions here...

Perhaps even you’re gentlemanly approach to looking after women you see on the street in the early hours of the morning could be misconstrued by someone...

There are some people that are idiots, agreed, and their approach to talking to ANYONE is always questionable, but, not everyone is the same.

How would you like us to socialise? Prearranged meets in defined areas? Having chaperones.? Arranged marriages.?

If someone talks to me and I don’t want them to, I’ll make that clear, politely.

If someone strikes up a conversation and then other party is ok with it then that relationship can develop the same way that all others can..

Whilst unfortunate that the lady above had a bad experience, that could have happened by meeting the guy in one of your ‘approved’ socialising spaces as well...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had plenty of nice, pressure free conversations with strangers. It's an intrusion yes, but I've become used to it.

I'll be polite and pleasant, and give the benefit of the doubt. But people learning when to back off, to read discomfort, to not impose themselves on others, is their end of the bargain.

Yes