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"Small Solace." Indeed But better than a delete and far better than nothing at all | |||
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"To put an alternative spin on it though...imagine every one currently unreplied to was someone saying they're not into you, even politely. That can't feel nice. Maybe not replying is actually kinder sometimes, as it gives the get out clause that we're all just rude bitches? I can live with someone thinking that of me if it makes them feel better, over trying to put together responses that shut down the conversation nicely but don't sound patronising " My polite decline just thanked me for the nice opening message - but he didn’t think I was his wife’s type and good luck He knows her best so who am I to argue If you don’t accept some people won’t be attracted to you while others will think you’re amazing then I fear for your Fab journey as well as life journey too | |||
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"To put an alternative spin on it though...imagine every one currently unreplied to was someone saying they're not into you, even politely. That can't feel nice. Maybe not replying is actually kinder sometimes, as it gives the get out clause that we're all just rude bitches? I can live with someone thinking that of me if it makes them feel better, over trying to put together responses that shut down the conversation nicely but don't sound patronising " I think if someone doesn’t reply it’s a good guess that they’re not interested! I wouldn’t assume someone is rude for not replying, everyone handles their messages in their own way, but personally I’d prefer a ‘thanks, no thanks’ to end the conversation. If I continued after that I’d expect to be blocked. | |||
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"To put an alternative spin on it though...imagine every one currently unreplied to was someone saying they're not into you, even politely. That can't feel nice. Maybe not replying is actually kinder sometimes, as it gives the get out clause that we're all just rude bitches? I can live with someone thinking that of me if it makes them feel better, over trying to put together responses that shut down the conversation nicely but don't sound patronising My polite decline just thanked me for the nice opening message - but he didn’t think I was his wife’s type and good luck He knows her best so who am I to argue If you don’t accept some people won’t be attracted to you while others will think you’re amazing then I fear for your Fab journey as well as life journey too " Good attitude, I agree | |||
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"We reply to people who have read our profile but not to people who very clearly haven't or who have chosen to ignore it. Who are the nice people in those circumstances?" Yeah, I think it’s fair to assume the zero effort crowd don’t deserve the attention. | |||
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"Even though it’s a decline, I find a polite decline to a sent message still such a little heart warmer. I take it as a small compliment that A: the person/people I messaged & hoped would be nice people - were nice as a polite decline proves and B: they thought I was deserving of a polite decline rather than a delete or just ignore PS this is just a post applauding this part of Fab and NOT to encourage an avalanche of reasons why people DONT " Which is why we reply to every message received but to be fair I’m struggling with the “hey hi hello” messages. T | |||
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"Even though it’s a decline, I find a polite decline to a sent message still such a little heart warmer. I take it as a small compliment that A: the person/people I messaged & hoped would be nice people - were nice as a polite decline proves and B: they thought I was deserving of a polite decline rather than a delete or just ignore PS this is just a post applauding this part of Fab and NOT to encourage an avalanche of reasons why people DONT " I reply to all my messages unless they're beyond rude in them. It's a simple act of courtesy. I only wish more were like it x | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't " I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline " Hate when that happens. I have to just bulk delete them. I feel bad for all those poor gals that have put so much effort into sending me mail. | |||
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"We reply to people who have read our profile but not to people who very clearly haven't or who have chosen to ignore it. Who are the nice people in those circumstances?" I'd say you two are a very nice couple. E | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline Hate when that happens. I have to just bulk delete them. I feel bad for all those poor gals that have put so much effort into sending me mail." I'm the same with the rejections, 600 a day just seems like an unreasonable amount of mail for me to read so I just delete them all | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline Hate when that happens. I have to just bulk delete them. I feel bad for all those poor gals that have put so much effort into sending me mail. I'm the same with the rejections, 600 a day just seems like an unreasonable amount of mail for me to read so I just delete them all " Impressive. Who’s the impolite one in that circumstance? If I’ve sent another girl a polite rejection message and she’s just deleted it unread I might feel a bit dejected and used. | |||
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"Even though it’s a decline, I find a polite decline to a sent message still such a little heart warmer. I take it as a small compliment that A: the person/people I messaged & hoped would be nice people - were nice as a polite decline proves and B: they thought I was deserving of a polite decline rather than a delete or just ignore PS this is just a post applauding this part of Fab and NOT to encourage an avalanche of reasons why people DONT " It is disheartening when you put a message together and dont get a response. I don't let it bother me though. Having been on here as a couple I understand the volume of messages and the potential lash back from a polite "thanks but no thanks" makes it easier to not reply. It does annoy me when your message is read but then marked as not read. Just leave it as read and I'll take it you aren't interested. | |||
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"I might feel a bit dejected and used." Dejected I get but used?.... You didnt get passed the messaging stage so how were you used?? | |||
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"I always try to reply to all messages I receive.. politeness and kindness cost nothing " I think it depends on the profile ... I get inundated with messages and if I replied to every single male who just sent a dick pic and no words I'd have sore hands and not for good reason! | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline Hate when that happens. I have to just bulk delete them. I feel bad for all those poor gals that have put so much effort into sending me mail. I'm the same with the rejections, 600 a day just seems like an unreasonable amount of mail for me to read so I just delete them all Impressive. Who’s the impolite one in that circumstance? If I’ve sent another girl a polite rejection message and she’s just deleted it unread I might feel a bit dejected and used." ...I hadn't thought of that, maybe I should reassess my position on rejections. I am hestiant to do that though, the last time I politely accepted a polite rejection, she politely replied, I politely replied to the reply... two weeks passed with the same routine, we started having polite sex and it's all gone disasterously wrong | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline " Which in turn will lead to me missing messages from those I may well be wanting to reply to, it's a no win situation | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline " Genuine question- how do you filter out the messages you might want to read, or do you just have to bulk delete ? A female friend is on here with a similar experience but she said it’s obvious from the first line or title in the inbox which ones are rubbish/trolls so she deletes these unread which is at least 90% | |||
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"We reply to people who have read our profile but not to people who very clearly haven't or who have chosen to ignore it. Who are the nice people in those circumstances? I'd say you two are a very nice couple. E" Our name is designed to lull people into a false sense of security | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline Genuine question- how do you filter out the messages you might want to read, or do you just have to bulk delete ? A female friend is on here with a similar experience but she said it’s obvious from the first line or title in the inbox which ones are rubbish/trolls so she deletes these unread which is at least 90%" Normally the opening line, I don't respond well to things like 'ill ruin you' 'ill make you beg me to...' straight in the bin. | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline Which in turn will lead to me missing messages from those I may well be wanting to reply to, it's a no win situation " That's why a number of women will take the active approach and contact the ones they fancy instead of passively filtering the incoming stream of constant messages. | |||
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"I might feel a bit dejected and used. Dejected I get but used?.... You didnt get passed the messaging stage so how were you used?? " She didn’t get past the messaging stage but I replied to reject her and then she deleted my rejection. I was left feeling used because she rejected my rejection.... hypothetically. | |||
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"I reply if the message is well written. some times its annoying because the person has deliberately message knowing they don't meet things you've asked for on your profile, and then you reply ‘no thanks’ then they ask ‘why’ and it goes on from there. Its not just guys who get declined. Ive had polite decline messages off guys and couples. Ive also been ignored by couples and guys. Those i block so i dont message again. " It sounds like the message system needs better filters, something like the search facility has. | |||
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"Whilst it is of course nice to get a reply - I can also totally understand why many don't I was offline for a few days and forgot to hide my profile, I came back to over 800 messages, it would take me hours to go through every one of them and reply/decline Which in turn will lead to me missing messages from those I may well be wanting to reply to, it's a no win situation That's why a number of women will take the active approach and contact the ones they fancy instead of passively filtering the incoming stream of constant messages." Which I do, a vast majority get deleted and not read, I just brush it off and move on, it's not just the guys who's messages get ignored | |||
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"I reply if the message is well written. some times its annoying because the person has deliberately message knowing they don't meet things you've asked for on your profile, and then you reply ‘no thanks’ then they ask ‘why’ and it goes on from there. Its not just guys who get declined. Ive had polite decline messages off guys and couples. Ive also been ignored by couples and guys. Those i block so i dont message again. It sounds like the message system needs better filters, something like the search facility has." Very very true. It’d save many issues for all. | |||
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"We reply to people who have read our profile but not to people who very clearly haven't or who have chosen to ignore it. Who are the nice people in those circumstances? I'd say you two are a very nice couple. E Our name is designed to lull people into a false sense of security " Duly noted, I'll not fall for it. E | |||
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"Even though it’s a decline, I find a polite decline to a sent message still such a little heart warmer. I take it as a small compliment that A: the person/people I messaged & hoped would be nice people - were nice as a polite decline proves and B: they thought I was deserving of a polite decline rather than a delete or just ignore PS this is just a post applauding this part of Fab and NOT to encourage an avalanche of reasons why people DONT " I'm very appreciative of them. Always reply to messages as well. Appreciate not everyone can but I try to | |||
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