FabSwingers.com forum: To convince? no thanks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just fed up being the bad guy for having to to say why i can not stand being called this, loads are gonna disagree, for loads of reasons, just call me something other than this.

below is my response to the latest guy, and we are still communicating for anyone that cares.

oh where to begin, and this isn't a dig at you. but the very word convincing suggests i'm appealing to someones approval, like i am trying my hardest to CONVINCE guys. I'm really not. And what is it i am trying to convince these gods of? that im a woman, well im not, i know it, they know it, everyone knows it, so its not possible, r that im trans, well we al know i am so no again.

And who is it i am allegedly trying to convince ? Guys, on here that wanna be with a T Girl most resemboling their idea of a woman, so they don't have to ask themselves as many awkward questions about their sexuality?, and still profess to be straight. lol. Convincing is merely a hierarchy or scale designed by hetro guys to judge us and have us fall in line to.

i am trying to meet nice guys for mutually enjoyable fun, i am not begging to be accepted. I am not attempting to convince no one of anything babes.

what i will say, is that i have in my head a picture of how i always imagined i would wanna appear if i was female and i strive to be this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't like the term convincing either. I said so on a thread recently and someone gave a nice reason about why some people do like it. They see it as a compliment. So I think that is fair and a positive aspect.

Is it someone else who has used the word about you OP?

Welcome to to the forums.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Just have fun with people who want to have fun with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really don't like the term convincing either. I said so on a thread recently and someone gave a nice reason about why some people do like it. They see it as a compliment. So I think that is fair and a positive aspect.

Is it someone else who has used the word about you OP?

Welcome to to the forums.

I think you may be referring to me. This was the reply I gave:

"'Convincing' "

I get the objection/dislike for the word but in the world of cross dressers, many are pleased to be considered convincing. Many have a girl mode and guy mode.

This shouldn’t be confused with trans women who aren’t trying to convince anyone. They simply are women who’ve been through a lot.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

I don’t like using it, but I don’t know of a better way to say what I’m looking for. If anyone has any suggestions I’d be interested to hear them. But I feel like saying “no fugly builders in frocks” or something like that would be worse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/20 21:23:35]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Could you not just compliment the same way you would a CIS woman? Surely any crossdresser or trans would be happy.

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By *ickinNottsMan
over a year ago

Hucknall

I never tried to be really convincing but the few occasions when a man thought I was a real woman certainly boosted the morale.

I hasten to add that this was always at a distance or in the dark.

But I always enjoyed the male attention and liked it when they said that I sucked cock better than any woman they had tried.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do understand all the points, and i am in no way attacking thoase that use it, but personaly i do not like the negativity attached to convince.To convince to me is to plead or to beg or even to trick your point accross.What is wrong with paying a compliment the same way you would any CIS lady? And yes, people do accept it at face value as a compliment. I just think it needs more scrutiny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do understand all the points, and i am in no way attacking thoase that use it, but personaly i do not like the negativity attached to convince.To convince to me is to plead or to beg or even to trick your point accross.What is wrong with paying a compliment the same way you would any CIS lady? And yes, people do accept it at face value as a compliment. I just think it needs more scrutiny"

I prefer the term ‘pass’. Effectively you can pass unnoticed as anything other than the woman you truly are.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

You're genuinely over thinking this.

It may sound offensive and I disagree with labelling people. You either find someone attractive or you don't. No matter what their gender or sexual orientation status may be.

When guys are asking you if you're "convincing" all they want to know is weather you genuinely look and act like a woman or if you're just a man wearing tights.

Once again. Don't mean to be offensive and god knows I get a million questions that piss me off just as much x

missus

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its nice top be considerered feminine, and its nice to thought of as attractive. but guys dont mistake cd/trans for CIS under normal conditions.of course in the dark or at a distance itas possible, but anything ca=n be mistaken for anytihng else that way

the last paragraph isnt really relevent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its nice top be considerered feminine, and its nice to thought of as attractive. but guys dont mistake cd/trans for CIS under normal conditions.of course in the dark or at a distance itas possible, but anything ca=n be mistaken for anytihng else that way

the last paragraph isnt really relevent"

Who says trans women can’t be ‘mistaken’ for cis?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

firstly, to be convincing in my eyes may differ from yours - its subjective and will lead to disoputes. its not ok to say all they want to know is....to genuinely act aND LOOK LIKE A WOMAN IS AS OPEN ENDED AS ITS P[OSSIBL;E TO GET - you mean act fem? acting and looiing do not go hand in hand, so you could feel ultra fem inside, but look macho to others. its not so simplistic as youd makwe out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"firstly, to be convincing in my eyes may differ from yours - its subjective and will lead to disoputes. its not ok to say all they want to know is....to genuinely act aND LOOK LIKE A WOMAN IS AS OPEN ENDED AS ITS P[OSSIBL;E TO GET - you mean act fem? acting and looiing do not go hand in hand, so you could feel ultra fem inside, but look macho to others. its not so simplistic as youd makwe out"

Oh I agree completely.

Years of acting male isn’t an easy cloak to shed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i said under normal conditions they wont be. and thats not saying no one ever has not pulled it off, it is a generalisation, and one that stands up. trans girls do not pass as CIS in almost all situations. their are plenty of factors that cant be ignorted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting you’re using the term convincing? Like I said ; I prefer to say ‘pass’. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

am not attacking anyone that says it, i am not sayng those that are complimented are wrong, i personal;ly do not like it for the reasons i outlined, i merely raised this issue so guys if they guive a toss could perhaps consider that its not as simple as a compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some very masculine cis women around who move, talk, act, very masculine. They don’t get misgendered most of the time because they don’t expect to be. They are confident of who they are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i am not using the the term other than in the context of the post, which is kinda why i posted. i am merely sing the accepted language used thoroughout the thread, that kind of low level point scoring does not assist your argument

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" am not attacking anyone that says it, i am not sayng those that are complimented are wrong, i personal;ly do not like it for the reasons i outlined, i merely raised this issue so guys if they guive a toss could perhaps consider that its not as simple as a compliment"

Many people have never met a trans person let alone tried to chat them up. It’s a learning curve.

I don’t like the term convincing either. Like I said when I joined the thread; I understand why some do tho.

I’m transgender myself and I can’t remember the last time I was misgendered.

I’ve had plenty of guys flirt with me though and, if I’m interested, I feel I ought to ensure they know I’m trans for my own safety. Some guys can get upset if they feel they’ve been tricked even though I have a vagina.

When I tell them I’m trans they often express disbelief.

So in my mind; I pass most of the time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so you want us to individualy go thorough 4bn CIS women?. Yes, there are some masculine appearing CIS women, and to say they dont expect and are confident are assumptions. i certainly do not know what they think. However, these are almost certainly not CIS women trans women aspire to be like. Even a masculine CIS woman would not display some of the key features that would 'give away 'a trans lady for want of a better term

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i am not using the the term other than in the context of the post, which is kinda why i posted. i am merely sing the accepted language used thoroughout the thread, that kind of low level point scoring does not assist your argument"

Are you referring to me questioning why you used the word convincing? I just wondered why. Hence the question mark. I wasn’t trying to score points x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i think it needs discussing and perhaps highlighting further, as convince by definition means you are starting at a lower position than those to be convinced - its about language as much as anything.

In your mind you 'Pass' what is that?

Pass - have you undertaken some entrance exam or something- tjhe language is sooo not right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think it needs discussing and perhaps highlighting further, as convince by definition means you are starting at a lower position than those to be convinced - its about language as much as anything.

In your mind you 'Pass' what is that?

Pass - have you undertaken some entrance exam or something- tjhe language is sooo not right"

I refer you to the post where I explained my preference for the word pass over convincing. At no point did I say anything to infer an exam.

You’re picking a fight that isn’t there.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Could you not just compliment the same way you would a CIS woman? Surely any crossdresser or trans would be happy."

In a situation where I’m talking to them I would, I mean where I’m saying it’s what I’m looking for.

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