FabSwingers.com forum: Can people change from bad to good?

By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I was watching a christmas carol scrooge with the actor patric and I like the christmas message they gave that you can change yourself if you are bad to good, whats your view? I belive you can do it if the person really wants too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have our boundaries and limits of what bad is but sometimes good people can do bad things, doesn't mean they are bad. We all have the ability to change or wrong a right, if the people around us and society give us a chance too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it’s so black and white shag. We all have both in us and circumstances dictate which takes precedence

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

As above.....

Who says what is good or bad ?

Good people do evil at times. Especially Churchy types in my experience. Not all but a lot. They are in the church for a reason.

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By *eventysixCouple
over a year ago

glossop

Certain people will always be bad there is no hope for some (fact)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Certain people will always be bad there is no hope for some (fact)"

Agree with this 110%.

There are lots of bad people who are rotten to the core.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think it’s so black and white shag. We all have both in us and circumstances dictate which takes precedence

True that

There is good and bad in everyone, as confirmed by the great Macca and Stevie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think it’s so black and white shag. We all have both in us and circumstances dictate which takes precedence

"
i agree , somtimes people can test you,as the saying goes do unto others as they do onto you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think most people are over all good. A few are over all had but not many. Life can change you from one to the other and a lot of people who believe they're good really aren't and vice versa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was watching a christmas carol scrooge with the actor patric and I like the christmas message they gave that you can change yourself if you are bad to good, whats your view? I belive you can do it if the person really wants too

Every now and again I like to go from good to bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very true your quite right!

Just occasionally life changing events can change people but not very often.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

My FB is desperate to be on the naughty list abs wants a reverse star chart.

Is that what you mean?

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By *eorge JetsonMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

All I know is this, something I've been saying for many years and I'm very rarely proven wrong on it.

"Bad things don't happen to bad people"

I'm all for a debate and argument against it it in my experiences so far I'm yet to be shown I'm consistently wrong on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/12/20 10:04:25]

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Bad people are often so because of something that happened in their life.... then can’t find the person they were....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As above.....

Who says what is good or bad ?

Good people do evil at times. Especially Churchy types in my experience. Not all but a lot. They are in the church for a reason. "

Absolutely. Sinners go to Church. but they know they have sinned and are seeking God's grace in repentance.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

There are people who have served long prison sentences for doing a bad thing and then come out rehabiltated and have a positive effect on their community.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bad people are often so because of something that happened in their life.... then can’t find the person they were...."

Hit the nail bang on the head.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"As above.....

Who says what is good or bad ?

Good people do evil at times. Especially Churchy types in my experience. Not all but a lot. They are in the church for a reason. "

Churchy types? I'm intrigued. Are you suggesting that churchy types only go to churchy because they have done evil? Does churchy include mosquey and synagoguey and ashramy and templey types..

I'm personally not sure people of religion are inherently any more evil or good than people who are not religious.

To answer op. Yes I believe people can and do change, when they are motivated and educated so to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

9 years ago my life changed and it had a massive positive effect ...became far more understanding of others and a better person ...more mindful perhaps is a better description

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

It all depends on what ‘bad’ is ? Donald Trump can’t change he hasn’t got the mental ability to be anything more than he is, a lifetime of getting away with bad behaviour has created the man child you see.

However I noticed recently a lad I used to go to school with, totally change his outlook. Admittedly this is from afar on Facebook, but his son came out as gay and he’s posted several things about suicide and mental health. He’s not a ‘bad’ guy but he’s very much a traditional tough guy, into boxing, was a football hooligan in his youth, working on a building site. A real mans man, now showing a lot more depth than I thought he has, but due to his change of character he’s influencing others in his circle to change their opinions as well.

So I think you can change as long as you reach maturity and accept things change and you should as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As above.....

Who says what is good or bad ?

Good people do evil at times. Especially Churchy types in my experience. Not all but a lot. They are in the church for a reason.

Absolutely. Sinners go to Church. but they know they have sinned and are seeking God's grace in repentance. "

Or maybe they are going simply to say thank you to God for what they have?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"9 years ago my life changed and it had a massive positive effect ...became far more understanding of others and a better person ...more mindful perhaps is a better description

That's great to hear

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"As above.....

Who says what is good or bad ?

Good people do evil at times. Especially Churchy types in my experience. Not all but a lot. They are in the church for a reason.

Churchy types? I'm intrigued. Are you suggesting that churchy types only go to churchy because they have done evil? Does churchy include mosquey and synagoguey and ashramy and templey types..

I'm personally not sure people of religion are inherently any more evil or good than people who are not religious.

To answer op. Yes I believe people can and do change, when they are motivated and educated so to do. "

No, I am not suggesting that churchy types only go to church because they have done evil.

Yes churchy included mosquey, synagoguey and all other religiousy denominationsy .

Course you are not sure. None of us are - I said 'in my experience' ....

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From personal experience it would depend on what the bad is...

My ex is a serial domestic abuser... I was victim No6. He admitted to assaulting me and was found guilty. He was told to do a alcohol rehabilitation course and a relationships course. He did the alcohol course and then later was convicted of drink driving. He is yet to do the relationships course because of Covid but bear in mind this is second course he's been been requested to do because of DA and that didn't change him...

My ex is a total narcissist so it always the females fault and he does show psychopathic traits. He will never turn good... He doesn't actually see a problem with his behaviour and that's the scary thing.

He will never turn good. Couldn't even do it for the sake of having contact with his daughter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve gradually gone from bad to worse if that helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone has the ability to be either, it's not black and white. Bad things dont necessarily define us. Or the good things. And it depends on whether they want to change. Evil is something different. Can a sociopath change? Someone with deep seated issues that are frankly never going to leave them? I dont believe so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when it suits them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Certain people will always be bad there is no hope for some (fact)

Agree with this 110%.

There are lots of bad people who are rotten to the core."

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I believe bad people can change, but it doesn't mean they are worthy of forgiveness depending on what they have done.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"
. I believe if a person wants to change their life around they can sometimes something bad has to happen to them in order for them to change.Slightly off the subject on Christmas Eve I also watched A Christmas Carol but the one with Ross Kemp and Warren Mitchell it’s a more modern version although it’s 20 years old

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Remember a quote about war, it went something like, “you are only evil if you are on the loosing side”.

Life is a little like that.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Of course they can. People can transform their lives.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

People can amend their behavioir if they see value in doing so.

If they do not see any benefits, then its unlikely they will.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Of course people can change , it’s what makes us human, we can do anything we put our mind to. This reminded of something on R4 a couple of months ago, you can probably find on BBC sounds , it’s called Death Row Book Club, true story, about a guy who starts a book club for prisoners who one by one all go to the chair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can and do change. It doesn’t change the things they have done, however they can make amends and ask forgiveness.

People are very fluid and it is never black and white when it comes to good and bad.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Sometimes people change from good to bad or bad to good depending how much the situation suits them , most the cases this hapen with fake selfish people who only think about themselves, they are over dramatic like drama queen's and manipulative when they know know the weakness of someone and they judge everybody.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really believe that anyone is good or bad. We all just make choices that reflect our mood, upbringing, life circumstances and mental state at the time of making that choice.

So yeah people can make better choices with support and empathy because deep down no one is bad

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By *enuine MikeMan
over a year ago

Guildford

They can definitely change from Good to bad thats for sure.

For some people, there is only so much shit you can take before one cracks

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I don’t think it’s so black and white shag. We all have both in us and circumstances dictate which takes precedence

"
You are right there, we have both in us and yes, it depends what the situation is too

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I think most people are over all good. A few are over all had but not many. Life can change you from one to the other and a lot of people who believe they're good really aren't and vice versa"
I also think that, that most are good too, the good always win as they say

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"Anyone has the ability to be either, it's not black and white. Bad things dont necessarily define us. Or the good things. And it depends on whether they want to change. Evil is something different. Can a sociopath change? Someone with deep seated issues that are frankly never going to leave them? I dont believe so.

Not all sociopaths are evil and the majority of psychopaths are born the way they are due to genetics. They cannot help ( to some extent ) what they do. Can we call them evil ? They didn't draw up their blueprint.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"Yes I believe bad people can change, but it doesn't mean they are worthy of forgiveness depending on what they have done. "

That is such a powerful statement. To speak of someone's 'worthiness' to say they are not worth forgiveness..... Forgiveness heals the victim not the perpetrator , ' to my mind' .... everyone should forgive. If they are 'big' enough.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Yes people can change xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"I don't really believe that anyone is good or bad. We all just make choices that reflect our mood, upbringing, life circumstances and mental state at the time of making that choice.

So yeah people can make better choices with support and empathy because deep down no one is bad "

I really like this.

Oh that we were all full bellied and warm. What to be bad for then?

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

"All I know is this, something I've been saying for many years and I'm very rarely proven wrong on it.

"Bad things don't happen to bad people"

I'm all for a debate and argument against it it in my experiences so far I'm yet to be shown I'm consistently wrong on it. "

It would depend on what you would class as bad.

Take a person who is detested by a business associate but his family love the bones of him because he is the model husband and father.

Is he good or bad, it all depends on your view.

Did an example in college years ago about 2 people, one on top of skyscraper another on the ground standing next to a railway line. A steamtrain goes thundering past, both write down their experience, both massively conflicting tales but both correct. Just a different view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People don't change. You're born evil. If you're not a nasty person no circumstances will make you be. You're either nice or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I believe bad people can change, but it doesn't mean they are worthy of forgiveness depending on what they have done.

It is a very powerful statement. But when you've been m o l e s t e d and sexualy abused as a child by an adult I feel you are entitled to speak of someone's worthiness and decide if they are worth forgiving.

And to be honest I find it quite insulting you are implying I am not big enough for not forgiving someone who should have known better.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I don't really believe that anyone is good or bad. We all just make choices that reflect our mood, upbringing, life circumstances and mental state at the time of making that choice.

So yeah people can make better choices with support and empathy because deep down no one is bad "
That is right and I also believe that

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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Interesting debate everyone, yes, it also depends on their upbringing, but yes anyone can change, if they want too, but it will not be easy, the good will always win in the end

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

This is a great question.

Would anyone have dated Ian Brady if he’d repented and changed his ways? I don’t think he’d have stood a chance. There are plenty of other famous people in prison who are in the same boat!

The fact is some good people do bad things. Sometimes they don’t or wouldn’t do it again. The fact is that they are capable of doing bad things and that’s what I think would prevent people from giving them a chance.

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