FabSwingers.com forum: Why do people lie?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When you find a person you trusted and find out they was the biggest liar out ? Its just i have not come across alot like this in my life ... what make people make up stories ? why cant people just be who thy are with out all the crap its so hurtful? Have you ever come across this ? Going to be hard for me to trust people now for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya Jo,

are u ok xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it's what context they we're lying about that decides why people do it in the first place.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

It's the most awful feeling in the world Jo. But who can say why they do it.

But just look at all the good and true friends you have. Don't let one rotten egg cloud your life and judgement.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hiya Jo,

are u ok xx"
hiya xx well lifes lessons i am putting this down too . I had to learn hard way what some are like. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve found that the lies are often there as a smoke screen hiding the real issue and in most cases that issue could have been dealt with, but the lies cannot … when the trust is lost everything else is too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have met lots of people like that.

they lie to themselves as well.

now i dont take too much notice of what people say to me.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

some people just cant be happy with who they are. Ems SIL to be has been everything from a qualified dance instructor to a chef, yet has been diagnosed with MS since 16 and not done a thing since leaving school.

everyone knows she is a liar so no one believes a word she says.

it really is a shame when people become farcical.

ok, thats a funny version, and when actual loved ones lie about things they have and havent done to you, its absolutely devastating.

btw, welcome back. havent seen you post for a little while. x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Depends on the lie, but some will seek out vulnerable people to carry off the lie, sometimes we dont want to see whats in front of our faces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends on the lie, but some will seek out vulnerable people to carry off the lie, sometimes we dont want to see whats in front of our faces"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends on the lie, but some will seek out vulnerable people to carry off the lie, sometimes we dont want to see whats in front of our faces"
Well i see in front of my face a nice man ... I got on with well and after time trusted . Just feel sorry for next victims . I was thinking i could read people after being a samaritan coming across all sorts of things .. Just show I cant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shame, but some of those fibbers are fibbing to themselves more.

I like cuprinol and WYSIWYG...

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Some people are masters of manipulation and use that skill to get whatever they want from who they want

Some people fall for it and others will take a step back and look at the situation objectively

While its nice to trust everyone you meet at face value,its fair to say that not everyone will really be as they seem,they end up tripping over themselves at some point as is obviously the case here

You did'nt read this person,its does'nt mean that you can't read any other person

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

Sorry to hear this jo

Hope your ok Hun, would still love chat more if you like

Guess ppl lie for diff reasons one for confidence an make ppl like em a. Two just cos they have nothin better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess some people do it to make them look better than they actually are, maybe they are not confident enough and hide behind them .. others might do it for attention and lastly , just to hurt you.

I've seen people lie about having cancer and other illnesses and even when they get caught out and the evidence is over whelming .. they still try and keep the lie going.

Sometimes they actually start to believe their own lies

I've been a Samaritan myself and like you, guess had my fair share of fake calls.

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By *ubbliciousWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

I despise cheats and liars, but the fact is, they will always be out there and they will always push their luck. I just hope they get found out for what they really are (scumbags in case u were wondering lol) and get their comuppance!

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

One of my family once told do not judge a person by their words, do not judge a person by their actions, do not judge a person by their intentions, but use your judgement to use all these things to make an informed judgement.

Feeling are strange things and sometimes makes use do things that with time are proved wrong. It would be almost a crime to change yourself because of one person and their actions and words. As you said its a life lesson, spend your time deciding where you went wrong, dust yourself of and then smile and carry on

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"I despise cheats and liars, but the fact is, they will always be out there and they will always push their luck. I just hope they get found out for what they really are (scumbags in case u were wondering lol) and get their comuppance! "

Show me someone who claims to always tell the truth - and I'll show you a liar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a couple of things to bear in mind.

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but if we don't trust, we are never likely to find love or joy.

You can be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.

Good to see you back Jo.

Big Bussy Hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Show me someone who claims to always tell the truth - and I'll show you a liar.

"
when people wright thay are dead and you go to hotel airpost to see them off but really never got on plane .. are there lies and lies , Some are just so good .

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

Show me someone who claims to always tell the truth - and I'll show you a liar.

when people wright thay are dead and you go to hotel airpost to see them off but really never got on plane .. are there lies and lies , Some are just so good ."

I was just about to ask you if it was the guy you had been worried about a few weeks ago....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have met a lot of people like that too in my life I was brought up to tell the truth and shame the devil not saying that I have never told a lie cos that wouldn't be true but come on guys there are honest people out there you got to take people at face value hope you ok and you will learn to trust again I have xx

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Show me someone who claims to always tell the truth - and I'll show you a liar.

when people wright thay are dead and you go to hotel airpost to see them off but really never got on plane .. are there lies and lies , Some are just so good ."

Why would you go to an airport to see someone off who said they were dead?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Many moons ago when I first started using the net I got sucked in by a sob story, I assumed they were telling the truth because why would anyone lie about something so serious? It turned out they were lying through their teeth....so it made me very cynical to believe much of what people say on the net

It isn't your fault that you trusted what a person told as they probably played on your good nature....but it doesn't hurt to learn from it and be wary of what strangers on a website tell you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show me someone who claims to always tell the truth - and I'll show you a

liar.

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By *ubbliciousWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Yes, ok, everyone lies, but most decent people only tell little white lies. When u lie about being married or having kids or being terminally ill, that is the sort of liar I despise. So don't get pedantic, you knew that's what I meant!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Just a couple of things to bear in mind.

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but if we don't trust, we are never likely to find love or joy.

You can be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.

Good to see you back Jo.

Big Bussy Hugs xx"

But with my best wishes too.

I had a close friend who died recently. The last full conversation we had was discussing the lies a couple of people on here had told me. His advice was to forgive the liar as they need help, learn the lesson but to keep true to myself. Being trusting, open and generous are good qualities to have.

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By *uyuksno1Man
over a year ago

poole

a lie is a lie the truth is the truth as long as you are honest with yourself and are true to who you are just let everything else go and dont let it change who you are everything these people do will come back and bite them in the ass in the end x sorry you were hurt but you havent done anything wrong let their conscience worry about it

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

sadly some get into a habit of it and dig a huge hole they cant get out of..

be that through a manipulative character or some sort of mental illness..

others have said it, dont allow one person to have a detrimental effect on whom you are..

yes it hurts when it happens, rise above it, dust yourself off and move on Jo...

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Yes, ok, everyone lies, but most decent people only tell little white lies. When u lie about being married or having kids or being terminally ill, that is the sort of liar I despise. So don't get pedantic, you knew that's what I meant! "

Yes, I do know what you meant...and yes, I was being a bit pedantic. But labelling everyone who tells lies as a scumbag is too generic a statement.

Little lies are acceptable - life would be unbearable is this was not the case.

Sometimes 'we' need to (or do) tell bigger ones - maybe to prevent unnecessary hurt to family and friends. And, yes, sometimes we do it to deceive. Doesn't necessarily make us bad people.

Also, we sometimes don't tell the whole truth - again, doesn't necessarily make us bad people.

We all have to take responsibility for what we do in life. On balance, I hope we all end up being thought of as nice people.

Naive? Maybe. Probably.

Someone who tells lies about having cancer etc - strangely enough, I find that as being 'worse' than, say, if I found out my wife was playing away from home. I wonder if that is because I am not a jealous guy...? Who knows.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

hi Jo good to see you back

dont let it get to you its hard not to be hurt

but it would be harder if it changed you and your outlook on life,people like this are in a minority,and to be pitied

keep being your lovely self,otherwise they have won x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

all part of the game they play...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"all part of the game they play..."
but why ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People lie,,, usually to hide the sad reality of their life.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"all part of the game they play...but why ?"

to take advantage

to boost their lack of self esteem

to get what they want

to....

and a load of other reasons.

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By *bbandflowCouple
over a year ago

South Devon

"all part of the game they play...but why ?

to take advantage

to boost their lack of self esteem

to get what they want

to....

and a load of other reasons.

Agree with above, but if we are honest we have all lied at some time..life would be cruel if we always told the truth ..it allows minor human frailties and fears to be lived with.

However the liars of OPs experience are of a different order. Manipulative and cold, they seem to get a perverse pleasure from the hurt their lies cause, and have an acute sense when selecting their victims...usually warm, open personalities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always think its strange when people ask why others are deceptive and untruthful yet have no qualms about not being honest with others themselves. Very few people are genuine, truthful and never try to deceive so the answer to this question can be answered from within.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 16/07/12 15:20:33]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"all part of the game they play...but why ?

to take advantage

to boost their lack of self esteem

to get what they want

to....

and a load of other reasons.

Agree with above, but if we are honest we have all lied at some time..life would be cruel if we always told the truth ..it allows minor human frailties and fears to be lived with.

totally agree. I answered in the context of swinging sites and the people you sometimes meet on them.

everyone has lied in everyday life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big Huggsssss.

No idea why people make up such big, massive, ridicolous lies, the truth always comes out in the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think on sites like this you expect a fair amount of liars...I mean people need to make themselves look impressive to others..anything like this where your first contact with someone is not a verbal one..they can win over your confidence..then by the time you speak to them there half way there..thing is some are so convincing its hard not to get suckered in..I guess the only way is trust no one until you really know them..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always think its strange when people ask why others are deceptive and untruthful yet have no qualms about not being honest with others themselves. Very few people are genuine, truthful and never try to deceive so the answer to this question can be answered from within. "
i am tuthfull so i hope others will be with me and when i let a person i trust meet my family and kids .. thats what now makes me feel bad i should have never done that at the time it felt so right .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think on sites like this you expect a fair amount of liars...I mean people need to make themselves look impressive to others..anything like this where your first contact with someone is not a verbal one..they can win over your confidence..then by the time you speak to them there half way there..thing is some are so convincing its hard not to get suckered in..I guess the only way is trust no one until you really know them..

"
and how long do it take to know people ? to trust them. Its been a lifes lesson i tell you .. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had it done to me to Jo, not quite to the same extent, but it's hurtful and makes you doubt a lot of folks for a long long time

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Unfortunately sometimes little lies turn into big lies, when people can't work out how to stop lying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think its strange when people ask why others are deceptive and untruthful yet have no qualms about not being honest with others themselves. Very few people are genuine, truthful and never try to deceive so the answer to this question can be answered from within. i am tuthfull so i hope others will be with me and when i let a person i trust meet my family and kids .. thats what now makes me feel bad i should have never done that at the time it felt so right ."

But you are not totally truthful are you as are many on here.It is after all a swinging site and you are attached so how much should you really expect people to divulge to you?

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Must be making you feel quite sick that you trusted him and let him into your family..I do hope you didnt give him money at all. what a rat is he a Fabswinger too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always think its strange when people ask why others are deceptive and untruthful yet have no qualms about not being honest with others themselves. Very few people are genuine, truthful and never try to deceive so the answer to this question can be answered from within. i am tuthfull so i hope others will be with me and when i let a person i trust meet my family and kids .. thats what now makes me feel bad i should have never done that at the time it felt so right .

But you are not totally truthful are you as are many on here.It is after all a swinging site and you are attached so how much should you really expect people to divulge to you?"
I have a open marrige to john we are now like brother sister and friends he was ok with me having him in my life as john do his own thing too its just how things are for us . May not be for everyone. We put our family first and now getting older can do alot more thay also know how things are ,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Must be making you feel quite sick that you trusted him and let him into your family..I do hope you didnt give him money at all. what a rat is he a Fabswinger too."
He was on here but not now said he found people here boring and not for him .

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Many moons ago when I first started using the net I got sucked in by a sob story, I assumed they were telling the truth because why would anyone lie about something so serious? It turned out they were lying through their teeth....so it made me very cynical to believe much of what people say on the net

It isn't your fault that you trusted what a person told as they probably played on your good nature....but it doesn't hurt to learn from it and be wary of what strangers on a website tell you."

Yes I was duped too not here . Wasnt till I actually did some proper checking and told the chap he just disappeared.. was about two years we chatted too. That is why I now expect people to cam up very early on so i can see their face. Lost trust in everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Down & out liars / cheats & little white lies, either way they arent always easily read or seen, until they bite you in the ass!!

'What goes around comes around'........

............................In the end!!

Spoken like a true proffessional lair & a cheat. lol. X

Truth.

Peace out.

Only Kidding lol.

Dont ever take me seriously!!

My kind of SOH went out of fasion many years ago!!

Will Probably end up a sad lonely not so old begga, before losing the plot completely.

Whats the no. for the local loony bin / Funny Farm??

People in white coats def be comin to find me soon!!

That or the Undertaker!!

Knock Knock??

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