FabSwingers.com forum: It Makes My Heart Sinks When....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

..I'm called or referred to in certain ways:

You're so sweet or

Such a gent or

A lovely person

Because it's normally followed by the inevitable...But!

Why do we say and do that sort of thing, sort of build up before knocking down?

Thoughts, Forumites?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something to soften the blow?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"..I'm called or referred to in certain ways:

You're so sweet or

Such a gent or

A lovely person

Because it's normally followed by the inevitable...But!

Why do we say and do that sort of thing, sort of build up before knocking down?

Thoughts, Forumites?"

They have no taste..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your skin is a smooth as satin

Poo that's been sat in

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"Something to soften the blow?

This really!

One thing I found really difficult to do when I joined the swinging world is explaining to people that - though I’m happy to chat with pretty much everyone - it doesn’t mean I want to sleep with them.

Seven years later I still feel slightly awkward telling someone I’m not sexually attracted to them! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Ignore anything before the but is the best advice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irebird567Woman
over a year ago

near by

"Something to soften the blow?

This really!

Seven years later I still feel slightly awkward telling someone I’m not sexually attracted to them! X"

This! 100%!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something to soften the blow?

This really!

Seven years later I still feel slightly awkward telling someone I’m not sexually attracted to them! X"

I totally get you. I get messages off gay or bi guys. I’m flattered but not interested, but still feel bad say that too them. Well unless they’re rude then sod them!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"Your skin is a smooth as satin

Poo that's been sat in

Have you considered writing for Hallmark Cards?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irebird567Woman
over a year ago

near by

"Something to soften the blow?

This really!

Seven years later I still feel slightly awkward telling someone I’m not sexually attracted to them! X

I totally get you. I get messages off gay or bi guys. I’m flattered but not interested, but still feel bad say that too them. Well unless they’re rude then sod them!"

I have my reply in suggestions above the keyboard,I must say it too often,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"..I'm called or referred to in certain ways:

You're so sweet or

Such a gent or

A lovely person

Because it's normally followed by the inevitable...But!

Why do we say and do that sort of thing, sort of build up before knocking down?

Thoughts, Forumites?

They have no taste.."

Whom!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"..I'm called or referred to in certain ways:

You're so sweet or

Such a gent or

A lovely person

Because it's normally followed by the inevitable...But!

Why do we say and do that sort of thing, sort of build up before knocking down?

Thoughts, Forumites?

They have no taste..

Whom!"

The 'but' people...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your skin is a smooth as satin

Poo that's been sat in

Have you considered writing for Hallmark Cards?

Yes

I'm currently here on work experience gathering all the back handed insults

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"Your skin is a smooth as satin

Poo that's been sat in

Have you considered writing for Hallmark Cards?

Yes

I'm currently here on work experience gathering all the back handed insults

Then you’ll do very well!

I look forward to purchasing your first efforts!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *zQTWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"Something to soften the blow?

This really!

Seven years later I still feel slightly awkward telling someone I’m not sexually attracted to them! X"

This

I feel almost guilty telling someone there is no attraction from my side. Maybe it’s the thought of hurting their feelings?

I mean I have been there myself and it’s not a nice feeling. So I feel trying to sugar coat it a little and beating around the bush and being nice might soften the blow?

Kind of like all the times you have to tell the people you manage they are doing wrong at work, you always throw in some praise too so it’s not all negative and they don’t get demoralised

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been told in more brutal ways that they didn’t fancy me, albeit that one has been said in similar words a few times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd rather people just say the bad thing otherwise it feels as if they didn't really mean the good thing.

Say nice stuff at the appropriate time and same with bad stuff

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *zQTWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"I have been told in more brutal ways that they didn’t fancy me, albeit that one has been said in similar words a few times."

If it’s any consolation, I still fancy ya

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been told in more brutal ways that they didn’t fancy me, albeit that one has been said in similar words a few times.

If it’s any consolation, I still fancy ya

Awww that’s so sweet... where’s the but? Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been told in more brutal ways that they didn’t fancy me, albeit that one has been said in similar words a few times.

If it’s any consolation, I still fancy ya

Lamp post pissing, slightly unusual in a woman but there you go!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *zQTWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"I have been told in more brutal ways that they didn’t fancy me, albeit that one has been said in similar words a few times.

If it’s any consolation, I still fancy ya

Lamp post pissing, slightly unusual in a woman but there you go!

Haha! That’s the second time I heard that phrase today (luckily I now know what it means). I assure you, it is nothing of the sort.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

I dont see that any of those should be followed with a but. Those are all good attributes to have.

If they can't appreciate it then move on. Plenty more fish in the sea who will grab something valuable and never let go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been told in more brutal ways that they didn’t fancy me, albeit that one has been said in similar words a few times.

If it’s any consolation, I still fancy ya

Lamp post pissing, slightly unusual in a woman but there you go!

Haha! That’s the second time I heard that phrase today (luckily I now know what it means). I assure you, it is nothing of the sort. "

I believe you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

"..I'm called or referred to in certain ways:

You're so sweet or

Such a gent or

A lovely person

Because it's normally followed by the inevitable...But!

Why do we say and do that sort of thing, sort of build up before knocking down?

Thoughts, Forumites?"

Its known as the calm before the storm or letting you down gently.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the 'real' world I just straight up tell someone if I think he's a cunt. Or fat or ugly or whatever the case and prefer if people do the same too me. I especially like doing it if someone is fishing for compliments or social media likes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Maybe they really feel you are those things OP and are saying it as a nice compliment? I've only been turned down, kind of, once

and if it had been said in that way it would have been less harsh. Like they can see the good in you but you're not compatible. That's okay surely.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other option is to toughen up a bit and don't take all the shit people spew out at you to heart. If someone don't like you, like someone said above then ignore everything before the but.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know each of you are right,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread