Well. Today marks exactly 4 years to the day since the injury that precipitated my disability happened. 16th Dec 2016 dawned cold and bright. I was 7 months pregnant and had a busy day in the diary (as usual). I'd been experiencing intermittent hip and leg pain over the preceding few weeks but was told by midwives it was just pelvic dysfunction of pregnancy. It was normal. I was due at work for 8am to supervise a field trip and then it was the office Christmas party in the evening. I'd got a day pass to a nearby luxury hotel to use theirs pool etc after the field trip, I intended to relax before the party and use their showers 
After I'd defrosted the car, I got in, engaged the clutch with my left leg/foot and.............CRUNCH. A really loud, horrible crunching sound came from my pelvic area with almost immediate excruciating pain. I managed to get out of the car, and after a lot of wiggling and grimacing, I found a tolerable position (standing) and did what every sensible person would do. I forced myself into the car, drove to work, supervised the trip (including climbing on/off a 40 seater coach, for which I required the assistance of colleagues). I spent the day on the field trip stationed in the gift shop/café as the "contact point" because I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes without agony. I was given a cushion to sit on by the museum we were visiting.
I drove myself to the luxury hotel pool instead of walking (because I couldn't) and the warm water was divine. I had much less pain but eventually I got out, got dressed (with difficulty) and drove myself to the Christmas party. I forced myself through the pain to sit at the meal (which I enjoyed) and attempted half arsed "dancing", which consisted of moving gingerly from foot to foot, moving my hips, whilst holding on to a table, chair or colleague. I drove a colleague home afterwards and got stuck trying to get off her sofa (because I went in for a brew!). I got home at 3am?
The next day at 8am and after less than 5hrs sleep, I drove to the Lake District (1hr) and forced myself to serve tea and coffee at my Grandad's annual Christmas coffee morning. I was relieved of my washing up duties because I couldn't stand still. That was 17th Dec.
Fast forward to 9th Jan 2017, I was nearly 8mnths pregnant and I was supposed to be back at work after the Christmas break, but I could no longer stand or shuffle at all. I ended up confined to bed but I'd not completed the handover of my department to the guy who was looking after it in my absence, so I spent the first week of my bed ridden life actually working. I dictated handover notes to my mother, who sat alongside me, typing as I talked. Good job she'd been a secretary in the past! I did emails from my phone and dealt with a disciplinary matter. Then used some annual leave to prevent starting maternity leave too early (I only got statutory leave and I'm the main income earner).
Throughout this period of being stuck in bed, where I even had to eat meals curled up on my right hand side, no medical professional seemed to believe me or care. I was told paracetamol was the only thing I could take but should still avoid it, so I just endured without pain relief. I was forced to go out to maternity appointments (refused home appointments), so this entailed my husband or mother dressing me like a baby, helping me drag myself downstairs and to the car (no walking aids provided) and was questioned by the obstetrician why I'd been pushed to the appointment in a wheelchair (from the car park).
My daughter was born early, in the first week of Feb 2017 and everyone told me it would all get better, it was just pelvic dysfunction of pregnancy. But it didn't. They're agreed eventually (out of what felt like contempt) to MRI me and they identified a huge sideways disc prolapse at L4/5 causing "significant nerve root compression" and multiple other disc problems. The attitude of the staff changed immediately after this, and suddenly the pain team, physios etc materialised, as did a pair of crutches. By then, I'd been surviving by having to force myself to move through it all for almost 2 months.
I was seen in April by spinal specialists (4 months of nerve root compression by this point) and eventually they recommended surgery. Which never happened. I spent 3yrs being passed around various clinics before a neurologist eventually decided a combination of the prolonged nerve root compression, combined by my low slung uterus allowing my daughter to grow below the pelvic brim, which compressed all the nerves at the back of my pelvis. Multiple areas of nerve injury basically, for which there's no treatment.
I went back to work on 1st June (daughter 4 months), on crutches and with a breast pump in tow. I hobbled around on crutches, unable to do most activities, unable to exercise or participate in family life, for over 2 years.
Then I discovered wheelchair basketball by accident in 2019 (work's fault). I hobbled into my first training session on my crutches, got into a wheelchair for the first time and thought "wow, this is brilliant!" I could whizz around at speed and I had much less pain. One of the guys allocated to coach me (and the other newbie who would become my fwb!) asked me why I'd not tried a wheelchair before. When I replied "because I don't see myself as disabled," he laughed and said something along the lines of "don't be an absolute twat - get a chair and it'll change your life". He explained how he'd tried to avoid using one for too long but missed out on his kids as babies etc.
I took his advice, got my chair on eBay (I don't qualify for NHS help for mobility equipment and my chair new would be about £3k) and I've never looked back. Since getting my chair, I can exercise - wheelchair basketball, the gym (seated) and I joined a running club (I push, they run).
I credit my new wheelchair basketball colleagues with showing me that disability and needing mobility equipment doesn't have to be all doom and gloom and I've made friends for life there. Friends from before my injury have mainly drifted away.
But beyond all, I thank Mr KC. He's never once complained. He's never wavered. He's been there alongside me, all the way through and he's pushed me to continue with my career. To facilitate this, he changed his job and now we work together for the same organisation. He's sacrificed so much for me, but he won't take any credit  .
I'd not have got this far without him, without my amazing son (who pitched in and helped with EVERYTHING) and without my bat-shit crazy mother. She might be a conspiracy theorist who made pretty dodgy decisions when we were kids, but she's been there to help us practically throughout.
Sorry for the essay, but it's been cathartic to write it all down in one go |
You are one inspiring woman and I feel blessed to know you. You know that I fully Respect and adore MR KC too he is as inspiring! 
