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Asexual partner

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi I have a girlfriend whom I love unconditionally and have been with since I was a teenager, my only partner. We have a child and a home together but recently she has disclosed with me that she is Asexual and has no desire to engage in such activities. So she’s told me to go and have “fun” I haven’t a fucking clue where to start and it feels weird. Has anyone else been in this position and may have some advice? Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God that sounds hard a bag of mixed emotions but may work out for the best. Getting the best of both worlds with full permission and just create new ways to meet your partners needs non sexually on an emotional level maybe? Good luck with your journey I’m sure there are plenty of ppl in similar situations to give advice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you found out why she's off sex?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for such a positive reply. I will take into account what you’ve said and see what the future has to offer x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I haven’t to be honest. The way she has explained it to me is she just has no desire to do it with anyone. It could be a plethora of other reasons but we communicate really well and I don’t think there’s anything we’ve missed. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"God that sounds hard a bag of mixed emotions but may work out for the best. Getting the best of both worlds with full permission and just create new ways to meet your partners needs non sexually on an emotional level maybe? Good luck with your journey I’m sure there are plenty of ppl in similar situations to give advice x "

Also I would ask for permission in writing to cover any future arguments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it’s a case of going off sex, more an acceptance of her sexuality if she’s said this. I think it’s lovely that the both of you could communicate so openly and obviously she cares enough about you that she isn’t enforcing a life of celibacy on you. Lucky man

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading


"I haven’t to be honest. The way she has explained it to me is she just has no desire to do it with anyone. It could be a plethora of other reasons but we communicate really well and I don’t think there’s anything we’ve missed. x"

She should get checked out by her doctor to make sure her hormone levels are where they should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I haven’t to be honest. The way she has explained it to me is she just has no desire to do it with anyone. It could be a plethora of other reasons but we communicate really well and I don’t think there’s anything we’ve missed. x"

Does she know you've been on here for over a year? This isn't a bitchy question. My point is if she already knows then discuss further what her boundaries are. She may be happy with you seeing other women but she doesn't want details. Or she may want access to your account so she can feel happy that you are only seeing people for sex and not love. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Haha I did joke about that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you. I suppose I am lucky to have someone who I can communicate so fluently with and understand each other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah she told me to try some sites and this was the only one I’ve tried to be honest. I’ve felt so awkward about it I don’t know how I would feel sleeping with another woman so I’ve sort of just been loitering around on this site for a year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah she told me to try some sites and this was the only one I’ve tried to be honest. I’ve felt so awkward about it I don’t know how I would feel sleeping with another woman so I’ve sort of just been loitering around on this site for a year. "

Use "reply and quote" when answering people

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think this may be a factor depending on medication and stuff but the way she has addressed the situation is that she’s Asexual and is happy to keep it that way. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yeah she told me to try some sites and this was the only one I’ve tried to be honest. I’ve felt so awkward about it I don’t know how I would feel sleeping with another woman so I’ve sort of just been loitering around on this site for a year.

Use "reply and quote" when answering people "
cheers mate I fucked that bit up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sorry for not replying by attaching the quote I’ve made a mess of this thread

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Sorry for not replying by attaching the quote I’ve made a mess of this thread "

No yo haven't. It's fine, just carry on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry for not replying by attaching the quote I’ve made a mess of this thread "

No you haven't at all. We were all new to the forum at some point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry for not replying by attaching the quote I’ve made a mess of this thread "

You havent made a mess....its just easier to see who you're replying to!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry for not replying by attaching the quote I’ve made a mess of this thread

No yo haven't. It's fine, just carry on "

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"I think this may be a factor depending on medication and stuff but the way she has addressed the situation is that she’s Asexual and is happy to keep it that way. X"

That’s a shame OP. Is she the same age as yourself? Only that’s so young to hang up her sexually active days.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I worked with a woman who was asexual. It isn't something that can be cured any more than being homosexual can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this may be a factor depending on medication and stuff but the way she has addressed the situation is that she’s Asexual and is happy to keep it that way. X

That’s a shame OP. Is she the same age as yourself? Only that’s so young to hang up her sexually active days. "

Asexuality can't be fixed. Same as a gay person can't be fixed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I worked with a woman who was asexual. It isn't something that can be cured any more than being homosexual can. "

Snap

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think this may be a factor depending on medication and stuff but the way she has addressed the situation is that she’s Asexual and is happy to keep it that way. X

That’s a shame OP. Is she the same age as yourself? Only that’s so young to hang up her sexually active days. "
yeah we’re the same age. I know x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I worked with a woman who was asexual. It isn't something that can be cured any more than being homosexual can.

Snap "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this may be a factor depending on medication and stuff but the way she has addressed the situation is that she’s Asexual and is happy to keep it that way. X

That’s a shame OP. Is she the same age as yourself? Only that’s so young to hang up her sexually active days.

Asexuality can't be fixed. Same as a gay person can't be fixed. "

Exactly. I know a few people who identify as being Asexual and it’s been a huge relief for them knowing that they are also normal for not wanting sex.

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