FabSwingers.com forum: Am I missing a solution?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Probably an odd topic to post on a swinger's site, I know... but I am pretty desperate.

I am struggling with a lot of stuff. Family members who need my support, stuff with an ex that keeps popping up to haunt me, severe childhood trauma, an eating disorder, various mental health issues (I'm talking PTSD and psychosis - that severe).

And I can't get any therapy. My local mental health team on the NHS admit that I need support but say they can't offer me any help due to lack of resources due to the government cutting funding, so they gave me some numbers of local charities. The charities can't help me because most of them aren't qualified to handle anything more severe than mild-to-moderate depression and anxiety. They have referred me back to my GP, who is at a loss. At this point, I have been rejected by all free/affordable services in my area.

I am on long term disability and can't afford to pay to see someone privately. Even the cheapest therapists want £60-£70 an hour.

While I have some supportive people in my life, none of them are qualified professionals, and my issues are deeper than they can reasonably be expected to deal with.

I am at a loss. I don't know what else to do. I feel like giving up because I cannot see a way forward and I can't keep living like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remember you're loved and keep moving forward small steps at a time.

You will get there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably an odd topic to post on a swinger's site, I know... but I am pretty desperate."

I don't think there's any topics that are called odd topics on a swinger's site.

Think you're brave to post it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hold on still the boat is sailing...

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By *az080378Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

You need to get your go to push harder, if your mental health conditions were diagnosed by a psychiatrist, they should have put a plan in place for you to move forward.

You deserve the help you need so go higher up if you have to, unfortunately you have to push for these things even though I'm sure its the last thing you want to do!

I wish you all the luck in the world,you are important and nothing is worth just giving up xx

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By *attedgentMan
over a year ago

newcastle upon tyne

Try contacting your local MP. My nephew has mental health problems and nothing at all was done about it until the MP was contacted. Explain to them about you not getting help and hopefully they can do something for you. Always stay strong I know it’s hard sometimes but keep on fighting.

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Hey OP, I keep seeing many people struggle with being low and not getting any professional help.

I have been a witness to professionals being available only refusing to help a suicidal deaf person because they couldn't be bothered to directly communicate to them in written form, insisting for the given person to arrange a certified sign language interpreter. At 2am. On Valentine's day.

Trusting the system to help you takes time. Lots of time which a lot of people simply don't have.

Sometimes finding a shoulder to cry on, a person who simply listens and understands is enough.

It's okay not to be okay.

You're a strong woman, you've come this far, you can make it out of any black hole you may find yourself in.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Not strangers or professionals, but people close to you.

You never know- many of them may have no idea what you're going though and will be happy to be there for you only if you just ask.

Every storm eventually passes, no matter how bad it is and the only demons you have to fight are your own (I fight mine every single day too).

If you ever want to chat, please feel free to send me a message.

I'm not a professional. I don't have a degree in human psychology. I will never meet you in person. But if I can give someone a little bit of support- I'll do just that.

missus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to read your story and the situation you are in. But I don’t think it’s the right place to post this kind of issues. There are lots of website where you cils get advice and even some charity adresses/contacts fit you to reach as soon as possible.

Also in my humble opinion maybe you should give a break to this site or any other kind to focus on getting better.

Best regards

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to read your story and the situation you are in. But I don’t think it’s the right place to post this kind of issues. There are lots of website where you cils get advice and even some charity adresses/contacts fit you to reach as soon as possible.

Also in my humble opinion maybe you should give a break to this site or any other kind to focus on getting better.

Best regards "

I am taking a break from the site. I am not talking to anyone (haven't been meeting since March due to covid anyway) I just use the forums sometimes because it helps when I am feeling alone and struggling. Online is all I have right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you look into specific websites related to your issues?

Also reach for your local mp as suggested above.

Take care

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By *ungry CatCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Also in my humble opinion maybe you should give a break to this site or any other kind to focus on getting better.

Best regards "

Swingers are supposed to be the most understanding and compassionate people (most of who I personally know really and truly are). I'm sorry that OP's issues didn't fit your personal agenda and didn't fit into your personal opinion of what is and isn't suitable for forum posts.

Clearly the appropriate channels have failed.

Be a human being for God's sake. Life isn't all about getting a leg over. In my humble opinion if a person needs support and are asking for it- you offer it, not patronize them about where to ask for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you contacted mind because they can be brilliant.

The other option is to phone 111 (they now have a dedicated mental health team) and tell them that you are in a crisis situation and you need to be seen by a crisis team they cannot refuse that.

It sounds to me like you need and advocate but I'm not sure how you go about getting one, Could contacting citizens advice help?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello OP...I'm reading your post and digesting it.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP...I have a friend who is a counsellor and volunteers at a some of these centres. I'll ask her advice this weekend on where you can seek help.

Shall I message you privately or post it here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also in my humble opinion maybe you should give a break to this site or any other kind to focus on getting better.

Best regards

Clearly the appropriate channels have failed.

Perfectly put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also in my humble opinion maybe you should give a break to this site or any other kind to focus on getting better.

Best regards

Quite right, I would say that you should stat in the Forum. Do not withdraw if you don't have an outlet away from here. There are people here who will listen to you and sometimes, that enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swingers are supposed to be the most understanding and compassionate people (most of who I personally know really and truly are). "

Is that in the swingers handbook?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear your struggling OP. Everyone's waiting lists are getting longer so unfortunately the waiting times are too. However, if you feel like you need to be seen now go back to your GP or call 111 and request to be seen by the crisis team.

If you feel like you can manage without seeing someone, go to Minds website, they have some great coping methods. In terms of daily help, you can do two things; do something creative and do some form of exercise. Doing one of these two things can benefit your mental health in a big way.

Finally, keep a journal, but keep two. One can be a place to put down your feelings/frustrations so they aren't taking over your thoughts. The second keep it positive, write down something good that happened that day and something you are grateful for. Its a way of acknowledging the good things that we all miss sometimes.

Most importantly, keep talking to people, never suffer alone. Hope this helps in anyway and take care of yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also in my humble opinion maybe you should give a break to this site or any other kind to focus on getting better.

Best regards

Clearly the appropriate channels have failed.

'Swingers are supposed to be the most understanding and compassionate people'..is that a joke?!

I totally agree with the post you quoted. I think it's very unfair of you to slag him off for offering decent advice.

It's a sex site. Many people on here use people's issues/ troubles against them because they are vulnerable.

I didn't see anything in his post that was patronising.

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

Also in my humble opinion maybe you should give a break to this site or any other kind to focus on getting better.

Best regards "

I disagree. Fab can be a huge benefit in situations like this.

Sometimes just airing your thoughts and anxieties can be a huge help and make a difference.

There will be people here who have similar experiences themselves and have empathy.

There may even be counsellors who can offer support.

There will be people here who know of resources that can benefit people who are struggling.

IMHO the OP has been brave to post here. Her bravery may well open the door to others who are struggling, but were too hesitant to reach out.

NOT reaching out is often where mental health issues can spiral downwards more quickly.

Just one kind word, just one message of support, just one offer of help can make all the difference.

There but for the grace of God.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone who took the time to respond here and through private messages. It really means a lot to know that there are people who care.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to read this op

I had my first mental health video chat yesterday following referral in February the backlog is huge especially ask they have had to prioritise covid issues also.

I hope you get the help you need and support if you ever want to talk msg me always an ear to listen or eyes to read.

I’ve asked and been similar on my own mh thread

Stay safe and strong and always ask for help

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