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£10000 to be a surrogate mother.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I am not sure if you are following the latest from eastenders? But recently tiffany got offered £10000 to be a surrogate mother to reine and stuart thru ivf, it must of been a tough decision to do, but still a good one, as she couldnt have a baby, what do you think of the proposition they gave her?

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

£10000 is actually cheap. I’ve heard of £18K in some circumstances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An ex gf was a surrogate to a couple who were prevented having a second child through medical negligence. No payments made other than expenses and I think that this is how it should be. Total and utter respect for a selfless act but pretty sure those thoughts would be tainted if money was the objective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surrogacy is an amazing thing. But it should never be about the money. It's a huge thing for both the surrogate and those wanting the child, shouldn't be entered into lightly.

I can't have children, and luckily for me, don't want any...if that were different, I'm not sure I could have a baby for someone else, huge respect to those who do.

Lu

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I was severely ill when pregnant with my eldest son and nearly lost him during birth. Had a 3rd degree tear and broke my coccyx giving birth. It's not something I'd consider doing for anymore bar my sister and if that was the case I wouldn't have wanted payment

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't watch Eastenders but in my opinion offering £10,000 to carry a child and give birth to it is insulting.

The risk, the effect on your body, the recovery time and the emotional toll bit takes on a woman are worth ten times that of more.

Why do people place such low value on things like this?

I know some say that it should be done for altruistic reasons and that's one way of looking at it. However if you're putting monetary value on it I know of no other job where you work for at least a year 24/7 for that amount of money.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"£10000 is actually cheap. I’ve heard of £18K in some circumstances "
Yes, it could be quite expensive too.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Surrogacy is an amazing thing. But it should never be about the money. It's a huge thing for both the surrogate and those wanting the child, shouldn't be entered into lightly.

I can't have children, and luckily for me, don't want any...if that were different, I'm not sure I could have a baby for someone else, huge respect to those who do.

Lu "
You are right there as well, it shouldnt just be about money either.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I once offered to be a surrogate for my best friend who could not have children due to cancer treatment. I would have done this for free but sadly she died

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

I watch Eastenders all the time and the scene on Friday were Raine is pleading with Tiffany to change her mind we’re heartbreaking.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's not something I could do whether money was involved or not. I'm just not generous enough to consider having a baby then giving it away. I couldn't cope emotionally or physically with that

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don't watch Eastenders but in my opinion offering £10,000 to carry a child and give birth to it is insulting.

The risk, the effect on your body, the recovery time and the emotional toll bit takes on a woman are worth ten times that of more.

Why do people place such low value on things like this?

I know some say that it should be done for altruistic reasons and that's one way of looking at it. However if you're putting monetary value on it I know of no other job where you work for at least a year 24/7 for that amount of money. "

It does seem a very low amount of money for everything that pregnancy entails.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I could easily have done it when I was younger and did condidrtvit at one stage, the money for me would have been to cover a years wages as the job I do would be too much of a risk when pregnant,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would do it.

Not for 10 grand though!

If I was younger I woukd do it now and a lot of my problems would be solved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers."

I wish I could be bothered to reply to that

I'm too tired

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I wouldn't do it at my age now.

The potential complications is too of a high risk to take.

If I were 10 years younger yes I'd do it in a heartbeat

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

This is such a coincidence as a girl at my work got offered the same amount to carry a baby for a friend of hers.

I actually didn't realise that getting paid for surragacy is not allowed in the UK, in the US it is legal; in the UK it's supposed to just be expenses that are paid for.

Regardless, my friend thought it was a great offer...for how much my life would change and how much I'd give up to make sure I did my best through pregnancy I think I'd want a lil more than that. It's a hard one though because I've not been approached myself about it before

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

My friends mum has been a surrogate twice. She already had 5 children of her own. The 1st pregnancy wasn’t successful but the 2nd was. They are still in touch with the family who live many miles away. All her expenses were covered but that was it. She didn’t do it for the money & would have done it again had her age not been a factor

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An ex gf was a surrogate to a couple who were prevented having a second child through medical negligence. No payments made other than expenses and I think that this is how it should be. Total and utter respect for a selfless act but pretty sure those thoughts would be tainted if money was the objective. "

That is how it should be - it is illegal in the U.K. to pay anything more than normal expenses.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers."

I have no words

J

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's something I might do for my sister as a last resort, for expenses/altruism only (although I really wouldn't want to and I suspect I'd be a poor candidate as I've never been pregnant, am no longer all that young, and my reproductive system has hated me since puberty)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once offered to be a surrogate for my best friend who could not have children due to cancer treatment. I would have done this for free but sadly she died "

Hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An ex gf was a surrogate to a couple who were prevented having a second child through medical negligence. No payments made other than expenses and I think that this is how it should be. Total and utter respect for a selfless act but pretty sure those thoughts would be tainted if money was the objective.

That is how it should be - it is illegal in the U.K. to pay anything more than normal expenses."

Why 'should' it be?

It's a life changing transaction helping out both parties.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"I am not sure if you are following the latest from eastenders? But recently tiffany got offered £10000 to be a surrogate mother to reine and stuart thru ivf, it must of been a tough decision to do, but still a good one, as she couldnt have a baby, what do you think of the proposition they gave her? "

Isn’t Tiffany dead? And if she wasn’t would be 50?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I wish I could be bothered to reply to that

I'm too tired "

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"An ex gf was a surrogate to a couple who were prevented having a second child through medical negligence. No payments made other than expenses and I think that this is how it should be. Total and utter respect for a selfless act but pretty sure those thoughts would be tainted if money was the objective.

That is how it should be - it is illegal in the U.K. to pay anything more than normal expenses.

Why 'should' it be?

It's a life changing transaction helping out both parties.

"

Urgh I’d want compensation ... no wine, no soft cheese, no spin classes, no swinging for best pet of a year? Not to mention the work and stress on your body .... no no and no!

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers."

Do you have children of your own ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers."

Is there anything at all in life that you feel positive about?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"An ex gf was a surrogate to a couple who were prevented having a second child through medical negligence. No payments made other than expenses and I think that this is how it should be. Total and utter respect for a selfless act but pretty sure those thoughts would be tainted if money was the objective.

That is how it should be - it is illegal in the U.K. to pay anything more than normal expenses.

Why 'should' it be?

It's a life changing transaction helping out both parties.

"

It's a tricky and emotionally charged issue, for sure. "Should" might mean "according to UK/ relevant part of UK law" or it might mean "according to moral imperative". I suspect here the two very different meanings are being conflated.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers."

Omg you’re serious? Mine was tongue in cheek ... and wow

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

Is there anything at all in life that you feel positive about?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers."

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is there anything at all in life that you feel positive about?"

Bitterness is so attractive isn't it

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I am not sure if you are following the latest from eastenders? But recently tiffany got offered £10000 to be a surrogate mother to reine and stuart thru ivf, it must of been a tough decision to do, but still a good one, as she couldnt have a baby, what do you think of the proposition they gave her?

Isn’t Tiffany dead? And if she wasn’t would be 50?"
. Tiffany is Bianca daughter she is named after Tiffany who was married to Grant Mitchell Tiffany passed away when Frank Butcher accidentally run her over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is there anything at all in life that you feel positive about?

Bitterness is so attractive isn't it "

I'm a bitter cynical old bat but he makes me look positively cheerful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is there anything at all in life that you feel positive about?

Bitterness is so attractive isn't it

I'm a bitter cynical old bat but he makes me look positively cheerful. "

You're not bitter - you're a realist and funny with it.

There no need for humourless, nasty comments meant to offend people - that's just strange behaviour

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"I once offered to be a surrogate for my best friend who could not have children due to cancer treatment. I would have done this for free but sadly she died "
That was a good thing to offer her too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"I watch Eastenders all the time and the scene on Friday were Raine is pleading with Tiffany to change her mind we’re heartbreaking."
Yes it was an emotional scene that wasnt it, as she tried to change her mind

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By *each_PittWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

I would do it.

I don't want children but would like to experience pregnancy.

Would have to be ivf due to my age and I couldn't consider accepting less than £20k.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I would do it.

I don't want children but would like to experience pregnancy.

Would have to be ivf due to my age and I couldn't consider accepting less than £20k."

Trust me, the experience of pregnancy and childbirth has a value far higher than that.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I was severely ill when pregnant with my eldest son and nearly lost him during birth. Had a 3rd degree tear and broke my coccyx giving birth. It's not something I'd consider doing for anymore bar my sister and if that was the case I wouldn't have wanted payment "

Being pregnant left me needing to use a wheelchair, so similarly I won't be offering to be a surrogate for all the tea in China! But I agree it should be about altruism and not money. Money might encourage people to do it who are not fit (mentally or physically) and this isn't good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was in the recovery suite when I had my boobs done 13 years ago there was a girl the other side of the room with me who had also just had her boobs done. She was 22 and was saying how 6 months ago she gave birth and was a surrogate for a couple who gave her 9 grand cash (a grand a month to equal wages) plus they paid for her boob job so an extra 4K on top.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I was severely ill when pregnant with my eldest son and nearly lost him during birth. Had a 3rd degree tear and broke my coccyx giving birth. It's not something I'd consider doing for anymore bar my sister and if that was the case I wouldn't have wanted payment

Being pregnant left me needing to use a wheelchair, so similarly I won't be offering to be a surrogate for all the tea in China! But I agree it should be about altruism and not money. Money might encourage people to do it who are not fit (mentally or physically) and this isn't good. "

Would an altruistic motive automatically make you physically and mentally fit?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I was severely ill when pregnant with my eldest son and nearly lost him during birth. Had a 3rd degree tear and broke my coccyx giving birth. It's not something I'd consider doing for anymore bar my sister and if that was the case I wouldn't have wanted payment

Being pregnant left me needing to use a wheelchair, so similarly I won't be offering to be a surrogate for all the tea in China! But I agree it should be about altruism and not money. Money might encourage people to do it who are not fit (mentally or physically) and this isn't good. "

That's the thing you get pregnant thinking it'll be not easy but straight forward. But when it goes wrong it's horrific, I suffered from post natal depression after giving birth to my eldest. And you can't predict if it's going to go wrong either, just isn't worth the risk for me.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I allways wanted to do this but my ex said no wish I'd not listened! Would have done it to give someone the chance of being a parent as it must b devastating not to b able to have a child if u really wanted one ! Plus I loved being pregnant/giving birth x

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I watch Eastenders all the time and the scene on Friday were Raine is pleading with Tiffany to change her mind we’re heartbreaking.Yes it was an emotional scene that wasnt it, as she tried to change her mind "
. Yes it was a emotional scene but just lately Eastenders have started storylines without perhaps completing them properly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

Do you have children of your own ?"

Yes

Irrelevant question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post! "

OP asked for opinions.

I've gave mine.

It's called free speech.something that seems to be frowned upon.

I like the fact that peoe applaud the surrogate mum as this and that.

Well in fact shes selling her baby.it was illegal in victorian times and quite rightly.

Using babies as products.

People forget about the babies being spewed out for greed.

The first question "why didnt mummy want me?"

" because she preferred the money"

Disgusting practice.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I have to catch up with it now..

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I looked into doing this for someone but, I think I was 36 at the time, was told I was too old! To do something like that for someone unable to conceive would of been incredible.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

Do you have children of your own ?

Yes

Irrelevant question."

Irrelevant to you maybe, but that's your opinion.

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By *r CuddleMan
over a year ago

Oxford

My wife and I have always wanted children. we would have done anything...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers."

You sir are a fucking cock!

Infertility is one of the most damaging things to a woman let alone a couples dream.

Go wobble your head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would do it.

I don't want children but would like to experience pregnancy.

Would have to be ivf due to my age and I couldn't consider accepting less than £20k.

Trust me, the experience of pregnancy and childbirth has a value far higher than that. "

This.

I have mixed feelings on the topic having seen a few documentaries on the subject where things went horribly wrong. Kudos to those who consider it from a purely altruistic place.

The thought of renting out my womb for 9 months purely for £££ is completely immoral to me.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

[Removed by poster at 07/12/20 15:43:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My heart goes out to you xxx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post!

OP asked for opinions.

I've gave mine.

It's called free speech.something that seems to be frowned upon.

I like the fact that peoe applaud the surrogate mum as this and that.

Well in fact shes selling her baby.it was illegal in victorian times and quite rightly.

Using babies as products.

People forget about the babies being spewed out for greed.

The first question "why didnt mummy want me?"

" because she preferred the money"

Disgusting practice."

"Mummy and Daddy had trouble bringing you into the world. Fortunately the doctors and Aunty were able to help us, which we're all very happy about because we love you so very much"

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I was going to be a surrogate for my friend, it never happened as she managed to have a baby herself..

Money never came into the equation.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post!

OP asked for opinions.

I've gave mine.

It's called free speech.something that seems to be frowned upon.

I like the fact that peoe applaud the surrogate mum as this and that.

Well in fact shes selling her baby.it was illegal in victorian times and quite rightly.

Using babies as products.

People forget about the babies being spewed out for greed.

The first question "why didnt mummy want me?"

" because she preferred the money"

Disgusting practice."

What about a surrogate who carries a IVF embryo of a couple? The surrogate is acting a bit like an incubator the child would not be genetically hers. So nobody in this case is selling a child. And mummy not wanting me what are you on, you telling me a couple who have gone through several rounds of IVF and then use a surrogate don't want that child? Seriously give your head a wobble

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

... and honestly, even if a child was taken from the worst parents in the world (rather than an arrangement to mitigate or resolve infertility), who the hell tells a child their parent doesn't want them?!

That's even avoiding the fact that I don't think surrogate mothers end up being the mothers in surrogacy cases. Aunty maybe. Mother no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post!

OP asked for opinions.

I've gave mine.

It's called free speech.something that seems to be frowned upon.

I like the fact that peoe applaud the surrogate mum as this and that.

Well in fact shes selling her baby.it was illegal in victorian times and quite rightly.

Using babies as products.

People forget about the babies being spewed out for greed.

The first question "why didnt mummy want me?"

" because she preferred the money"

Disgusting practice."

I think the only thing that's disgusting in this thread is your attitude.

What right do you have to spew hatred about what a woman decides to do with her body.

You're absolutely vile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would do it.

I don't want children but would like to experience pregnancy.

Would have to be ivf due to my age and I couldn't consider accepting less than £20k.

Trust me, the experience of pregnancy and childbirth has a value far higher than that.

This.

I have mixed feelings on the topic having seen a few documentaries on the subject where things went horribly wrong. Kudos to those who consider it from a purely altruistic place.

The thought of renting out my womb for 9 months purely for £££ is completely immoral to me.

"

It seems the Ukraine is the place to go for surrogates now as India has cracked down on it. Multiple "agencies" have sprung up offering couples access to a surrogate mother. For a price. The women mostly do it due to desperation and no other option. The same as many prostitues I would imagine. There may be the odd decent agency, but stories are the couple will be told mother is excellently cared for. When in fact she risks her life with sub-par medical care, dodgy clinics and little to no after-care. Just another form of exploitation for money. Maybe if it was legal for payment and regulated in the UK, things would be different. Then again, the ban on monetary gain is likely there to stop exploitation. But people using these services abroad should take their heads out of the sand and see what is really happening.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Surrogacy is an amazing thing. But it should never be about the money. It's a huge thing for both the surrogate and those wanting the child, shouldn't be entered into lightly.

I can't have children, and luckily for me, don't want any...if that were different, I'm not sure I could have a baby for someone else, huge respect to those who do.

Lu "

Agreed , there’s been conversations here and there and money was never discussed. It’s not something we would rule out completely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post!

OP asked for opinions.

I've gave mine.

It's called free speech.something that seems to be frowned upon.

I like the fact that peoe applaud the surrogate mum as this and that.

Well in fact shes selling her baby.it was illegal in victorian times and quite rightly.

Using babies as products.

People forget about the babies being spewed out for greed.

The first question "why didnt mummy want me?"

" because she preferred the money"

Disgusting practice.

I think the only thing that's disgusting in this thread is your attitude.

What right do you have to spew hatred about what a woman decides to do with her body.

You're absolutely vile."

Get a grip.

Your point underlines everything that is wrong here.

"What right do I have what a woman's doing with her body"

We arent talking about a woman giving a kidney or a having a tattoo.

It's another human being.

So the woman's right is lost long after theres another human with a mind and body of their own to question (like all children) shy whatever happened happened.

The bottom line is that mummy sold her baby for money.

You cant deny that.

The only issue is how much.

It's you putting the price on a human.not me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would do it.

I don't want children but would like to experience pregnancy.

Would have to be ivf due to my age and I couldn't consider accepting less than £20k.

Trust me, the experience of pregnancy and childbirth has a value far higher than that.

This.

I have mixed feelings on the topic having seen a few documentaries on the subject where things went horribly wrong. Kudos to those who consider it from a purely altruistic place.

The thought of renting out my womb for 9 months purely for £££ is completely immoral to me.

It seems the Ukraine is the place to go for surrogates now as India has cracked down on it. Multiple "agencies" have sprung up offering couples access to a surrogate mother. For a price. The women mostly do it due to desperation and no other option. The same as many prostitues I would imagine. There may be the odd decent agency, but stories are the couple will be told mother is excellently cared for. When in fact she risks her life with sub-par medical care, dodgy clinics and little to no after-care. Just another form of exploitation for money. Maybe if it was legal for payment and regulated in the UK, things would be different. Then again, the ban on monetary gain is likely there to stop exploitation. But people using these services abroad should take their heads out of the sand and see what is really happening."

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I was severely ill when pregnant with my eldest son and nearly lost him during birth. Had a 3rd degree tear and broke my coccyx giving birth. It's not something I'd consider doing for anymore bar my sister and if that was the case I wouldn't have wanted payment

Being pregnant left me needing to use a wheelchair, so similarly I won't be offering to be a surrogate for all the tea in China! But I agree it should be about altruism and not money. Money might encourage people to do it who are not fit (mentally or physically) and this isn't good.

Would an altruistic motive automatically make you physically and mentally fit?"

Absolutely not. A woman might have medical conditions that make pregnancy high risk/ill advised and the mental aspect of carrying a pregnancy but then handing the baby over cannot be underestimated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would do it.

I don't want children but would like to experience pregnancy.

Would have to be ivf due to my age and I couldn't consider accepting less than £20k.

Trust me, the experience of pregnancy and childbirth has a value far higher than that.

This.

I have mixed feelings on the topic having seen a few documentaries on the subject where things went horribly wrong. Kudos to those who consider it from a purely altruistic place.

The thought of renting out my womb for 9 months purely for £££ is completely immoral to me.

It seems the Ukraine is the place to go for surrogates now as India has cracked down on it. Multiple "agencies" have sprung up offering couples access to a surrogate mother. For a price. The women mostly do it due to desperation and no other option. The same as many prostitues I would imagine. There may be the odd decent agency, but stories are the couple will be told mother is excellently cared for. When in fact she risks her life with sub-par medical care, dodgy clinics and little to no after-care. Just another form of exploitation for money. Maybe if it was legal for payment and regulated in the UK, things would be different. Then again, the ban on monetary gain is likely there to stop exploitation. But people using these services abroad should take their heads out of the sand and see what is really happening.

"

You said it all in the first paragraph.

its called baby farming.

What price a human.

At least you're honest.£20k.

One human is less than an average family car.

Charming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post!

OP asked for opinions.

I've gave mine.

It's called free speech.something that seems to be frowned upon.

I like the fact that peoe applaud the surrogate mum as this and that.

Well in fact shes selling her baby.it was illegal in victorian times and quite rightly.

Using babies as products.

People forget about the babies being spewed out for greed.

The first question "why didnt mummy want me?"

" because she preferred the money"

Disgusting practice.

I think the only thing that's disgusting in this thread is your attitude.

What right do you have to spew hatred about what a woman decides to do with her body.

You're absolutely vile.

Get a grip.

Your point underlines everything that is wrong here.

"What right do I have what a woman's doing with her body"

We arent talking about a woman giving a kidney or a having a tattoo.

It's another human being.

So the woman's right is lost long after theres another human with a mind and body of their own to question (like all children) shy whatever happened happened.

The bottom line is that mummy sold her baby for money.

You cant deny that.

The only issue is how much.

It's you putting the price on a human.not me.

"

But they aren't selling their babies. They are renting out their womb as a facility to make a baby for someone who can't create their own.

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By *ig Dawg Walking TallMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

its not a lot for 9 months of your life

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is such a coincidence as a girl at my work got offered the same amount to carry a baby for a friend of hers.

I actually didn't realise that getting paid for surragacy is not allowed in the UK, in the US it is legal; in the UK it's supposed to just be expenses that are paid for.

Regardless, my friend thought it was a great offer...for how much my life would change and how much I'd give up to make sure I did my best through pregnancy I think I'd want a lil more than that. It's a hard one though because I've not been approached myself about it before "

My american friends are paying $100,000 us dollars to a surrogate. They have everything but a child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would do it for my sister or my best friend but not for money and not using my own eggs. That feeling of wanting a child and not being able to have one must be horrid to experience. Respect to people who adopt, foster and surrogate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am getting a bit old for it now but have always said I would offer to have a baby for a couple who were struggling. It would have to be someone I cared about though I think and would have nothing to do with money.

I can imagine if you are desperate to conceive you would pay any amount, rightly or wrongly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't do it pregnancy and childbirth is hard on your body I would find it difficult to walk away I have respect to those that can and think it must be very rewarding I've had two csections I'd love a little girl but I don't think I would want to go through it all again plus I'm single now and don't think I want to go through another baby stage as mine are getting older I enjoy my friends babies then hand them back i also enjoy being the fun aunt I would love to adopt bit heard so many stories saying it's hard to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It should be left alone.

Giving a child away for money is the most selfish act I can think of.

If you cant have kids then blame god or nature.tough luck.

Ivf should never be nhs.

Surrogacy is the devils decision.

It creates more questions than answers.

I'm speechless. Literally speechless. What an awful post!

OP asked for opinions.

I've gave mine.

It's called free speech.something that seems to be frowned upon.

I like the fact that peoe applaud the surrogate mum as this and that.

Well in fact shes selling her baby.it was illegal in victorian times and quite rightly.

Using babies as products.

People forget about the babies being spewed out for greed.

The first question "why didnt mummy want me?"

" because she preferred the money"

Disgusting practice.

I think the only thing that's disgusting in this thread is your attitude.

What right do you have to spew hatred about what a woman decides to do with her body.

You're absolutely vile.

Get a grip.

Your point underlines everything that is wrong here.

"What right do I have what a woman's doing with her body"

We arent talking about a woman giving a kidney or a having a tattoo.

It's another human being.

So the woman's right is lost long after theres another human with a mind and body of their own to question (like all children) shy whatever happened happened.

The bottom line is that mummy sold her baby for money.

You cant deny that.

The only issue is how much.

It's you putting the price on a human.not me.

"

If I came to your kitchen with my own eggs, flour, sugar and butter and made a cake but used your oven to bake it, would the cake be mine because essentially they are my own ingredients or would it be yours because I baked it in your oven, giving you £5 for using your electricity? Serious question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Earlier suggestions that surrogacy should be free seen a little odd to me. If it's a friend or family member, sure. But if not, pregnancy and birth present a huge risk to a woman's body and require recovery after. Why shouldn't that service be worthy of a payment?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You couldn't pay me any amount of money to do it, I'd really rather stick pins in my eyes.

But that said, £10000 isn't a lot of money when the surrogate is risking her life and basically taking time out to be an incubator for someone else's kid.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It doesn't seem an appropriate recompense to offer someone even in a third world country

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"I would do it for my sister or my best friend but not for money and not using my own eggs. That feeling of wanting a child and not being able to have one must be horrid to experience. Respect to people who adopt, foster and surrogate. "

Yes this is my reason for wanting to do it back in 1990 I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks I allready had 3 children but the overwhelming grief was enormous! It got me thinking then how a first time miscarriage must feel like for a mother/couple and to keep having them ! I went on to have 3 more children and would truly have loved to give that gift of a baby to someone out there unable to x

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I’ve not read this thread yet but to clear up a couple of misconceptions in the original post (as surrogacy is incredibly close to my heart).

Surrogate mother is quite an offensive term, the surrogate is not in anyway a mother to the baby and to be called mother is insulting.

Surrogates are not paid, they are paid expenses accrued, ie extra food, loss of earning, clothes, childcare, fuel etc. This could add up between 5 and 20k depending on the surrogate. But it’s agreed between the intended parents and the surrogate.

I haven’t watched the story on eastEnders but I’ve heard enough to know it’s not a true reflection and very far fetched

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

I am supportive of surrogacy, I think for some dynamics it can work.

I don’t think money should be a factor, except for expenses.

Some women could be in severe financial troubles and although £10k seems like a lot of money, I don’t think it’s worth the emotional and physical strain that would come with it. I think you run the risk of exploiting women’s bodies when you put a price on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t have more children. But if I could I would only do it for a family member who couldn’t have children I couldn’t give it away to anyone else money doesn’t come into it

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

Also to add legally surrogates need to be paid expenses and nothing more or less. When going to court for the parental order finances will be questioned to prove you’ve not “paid” someone and that the surrogate is not being exploited.

And sadly it seems a certain someone really needs to educate himself on the topic before voicing such outlandish vile views. Please go and read and actually look at what surrogacy means.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"I am not sure if you are following the latest from eastenders? But recently tiffany got offered £10000 to be a surrogate mother to reine and stuart thru ivf, it must of been a tough decision to do, but still a good one, as she couldnt have a baby, what do you think of the proposition they gave her? "

I wouldn’t watch Eastenders if you paid me £10000

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An ex gf was a surrogate to a couple who were prevented having a second child through medical negligence. No payments made other than expenses and I think that this is how it should be. Total and utter respect for a selfless act but pretty sure those thoughts would be tainted if money was the objective.

That is how it should be - it is illegal in the U.K. to pay anything more than normal expenses.

Why 'should' it be?

It's a life changing transaction helping out both parties.

"

Personally against animals as commodities never mind people

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By *r CuddleMan
over a year ago

Oxford

My wife was ill a few years ago. She could'nt have children. We would have given any thing to have one . Seems the heartache and the money is irrelevant.

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By *rientspiceCouple
over a year ago

Sanderstead

Checked the rates of known orgs a few months back, it was around 50k

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Checked the rates of known orgs a few months back, it was around 50k"

In the UK, surrogacy for profit is not permitted, only reasonable expenses can be paid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not sure if you are following the latest from eastenders? But recently tiffany got offered £10000 to be a surrogate mother to reine and stuart thru ivf, it must of been a tough decision to do, but still a good one, as she couldnt have a baby, what do you think of the proposition they gave her? "

I haven’t seen it since Betty over seasoned her hot pot and Mr Wilkes shaved off his lamb chops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who has issues having her own babies I fully admire the selfless women who do decide to make this choice. It’s such a precious gift to give a couple. I would maybe look into using surrogacy in the future as I don’t qualify for ivf on the nhs. The only thing I’d want is a genuine person and not someone who would

Con you out of money as you hear about that all the time. Anyone who does this for another woman is an amazing lady in my book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the act of surrogacy is amazing and admire those that can do it.

I think expenses paid is good but after that shouldn't be any money involved.

Personally I think I'd really struggle to go through with it regardless of who it was for as my maternal instincts would just take over and I'd naturally want to mother the baby like we are naturally programmed to. I'd be useless at it as I don't think I could hand over any child I carried to someone else regardless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm, when money comes into it for more than just expenses it can easily become a very dangerous thing.

I think there are too many people in a bad financial situation who would jump at the chance for 10k without fully thinking it through which is only going to cause heartache somewhere down the line. It doesn't sit right with me paying for it but I understand how difficult it must be when you're unable to conceive.

I understand there are people who would happily do it with no issues or attachment and purely for selfless reasons but once a price tag is involved I can only see more complications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmm, when money comes into it for more than just expenses it can easily become a very dangerous thing.

I think there are too many people in a bad financial situation who would jump at the chance for 10k without fully thinking it through which is only going to cause heartache somewhere down the line. It doesn't sit right with me paying for it but I understand how difficult it must be when you're unable to conceive.

I understand there are people who would happily do it with no issues or attachment and purely for selfless reasons but once a price tag is involved I can only see more complications.

"

This exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this post. Can’t believe we haven’t seen it earlier albeit it is from last year.

It’s nice to know that the swinging world is so open and can talk pretty much about anything, even the toughest of Topics.

We are currently going through this difficult journey of Intended parents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love this post. Can’t believe we haven’t seen it earlier albeit it is from last year.

It’s nice to know that the swinging world is so open and can talk pretty much about anything, even the toughest of Topics.

We are currently going through this difficult journey of Intended parents. "

Good luck.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.


"Love this post. Can’t believe we haven’t seen it earlier albeit it is from last year.

It’s nice to know that the swinging world is so open and can talk pretty much about anything, even the toughest of Topics.

We are currently going through this difficult journey of Intended parents. "
Hi and ty yes, its a good post too and yes, its been a while ago I did it.

That sounds good to me and I wish you good luck during this journey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have extremely mixed views on the whole topic.

For purely altruistic reasons I can see the argument, especially when a sister is helping her sister for example.

In all other cases, sale of a baby for £ makes me feel very uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have extremely mixed views on the whole topic.

For purely altruistic reasons I can see the argument, especially when a sister is helping her sister for example.

In all other cases, sale of a baby for £ makes me feel very uncomfortable."

Sale of a baby is really not surrogacy.. it’s one human being help another human being who cannot for fill something that my body cannot physically do.

Expenses is what is paid.. maternity clothes, childcare for surrogates other children etc

No money is exchanged for a baby.

Education is key and something that is seriously lacking in this topic, this is what the journey is so difficult.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"£10000 is actually cheap. I’ve heard of £18K in some circumstances "

Really I have had 2 offers for £free. I know it’s complicated but I think it’s best to keep money out of it and do it for friends/family only

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Have extremely mixed views on the whole topic.

For purely altruistic reasons I can see the argument, especially when a sister is helping her sister for example.

In all other cases, sale of a baby for £ makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Sale of a baby is really not surrogacy.. it’s one human being help another human being who cannot for fill something that my body cannot physically do.

Expenses is what is paid.. maternity clothes, childcare for surrogates other children etc

No money is exchanged for a baby.

Education is key and something that is seriously lacking in this topic, this is what the journey is so difficult. "

Fully agree , that way the person is doing it , making a huge sacrifice because they want to help you and probably less likely to get attached after birth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have extremely mixed views on the whole topic.

For purely altruistic reasons I can see the argument, especially when a sister is helping her sister for example.

In all other cases, sale of a baby for £ makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Sale of a baby is really not surrogacy.. it’s one human being help another human being who cannot for fill something that my body cannot physically do.

Expenses is what is paid.. maternity clothes, childcare for surrogates other children etc

No money is exchanged for a baby.

Education is key and something that is seriously lacking in this topic, this is what the journey is so difficult. "

Where the people involved live in the UK perhaps...where the mothers are from poorer countries and backgrounds(I believe Georgia & India have a huge problem with this) then imo it's purely exploitative and revolves around £.

There have also been several high profile cases where less than "perfect" babies have been left with the surrogate when the parents to be did not want to deal with a baby who had additional needs.

I cannot imagine the emotional turmoil and anguish of not being able to have children. But I don't think surrogacy is necessarily the answer.

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here


"Love this post. Can’t believe we haven’t seen it earlier albeit it is from last year.

It’s nice to know that the swinging world is so open and can talk pretty much about anything, even the toughest of Topics.

We are currently going through this difficult journey of Intended parents. "

Best of luck for your journey. I’m a surro and have seen in the groups how incredibly difficult it is for IPs.

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