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"And I am finishing this one off, damn you!" Which is exactly what he said to the albino Welsh hooker he was with last night! | |||
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"Currently looking for an elephant for a "wrist job" with a difference" Once had a 3way with ozzy n Sharon Osborne | |||
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"French kissed the blarney stone and got so wet and horny that she frigged herself off while a coach load of Japanese tourists took pictures Hubby passed the hat round and was arrested under the dangerous sports act" once p_nched jonny depp in the eye for 'dissing his bitch'. was found not guilty by the judgement that the prick is everywhere and it was nice for mr depp to have to go into hiding and allow some other actor to make a film. however the actor was leanardo dicaprio and the film flopped. pablo was sued by warner films for $50 million and is now forced into prostution and selling illegally donwloaded panda porn to pay his legal bills. | |||
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"Works on the ghost train in weston supermare they make him wear the scary clown mask because his own face melts candy floss if too close" Keeps mailing Me asking to suck my cock! I am a bit luckless at the moment, so whatever, but I can never pin him down to a day and time.......Timewaster......... | |||
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"Lovely guy, does charity work because he is homeless, used to be a male model before he became stressed about being one of the beautiful people High intellect too" Dude, this is about lieing...........I am all those things.........lend me your sleeping bag tonight? Sub me a bottle of whiskey? | |||
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"French kissed the blarney stone and got so wet and horny that she frigged herself off while a coach load of Japanese tourists took pictures Hubby passed the hat round and was arrested under the dangerous sports act once p_nched jonny depp in the eye for 'dissing his bitch'. was found not guilty by the judgement that the prick is everywhere and it was nice for mr depp to have to go into hiding and allow some other actor to make a film. however the actor was leanardo dicaprio and the film flopped. pablo was sued by warner films for $50 million and is now forced into prostution and selling illegally donwloaded panda porn to pay his legal bills." You can't beat "off the cuff stuff" | |||
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"Thinks that although this is the gateway to heaven, there must be a back entrance" Prefers the Tradesmans entrance to the main atrium...... | |||
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"Kissed the girls and made them gag " I say, steady on old chap! Had a suprisingly easy paper round........ | |||
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"Let ya off then " spports a very good football team (sorry couldnt resist) the proper one: was once employed by a top model agency to be naomi cambells left buttock, but couldnt continue with the job as her right buttock was played by brian gumble. he now, however, has had a successful career as micheal parkinsons hairpiece, and more recently, teamed up with micheal portillo, to be holly whiloboobies cleavage. | |||
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"Left a skid mark in the queens personal portaloo at v festival last year " having returned from active duty in the Balkans, said poster proceeded to set up a suport group for vets. however, got the wrong side of the stick and actually gave all the money to sick puppies. this ended with a dishonourable discharge, but with the help of the vets, he got some cream for it, and is now all better | |||
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol" Not at all, most enjoyable, creativity is to be encouraged. However, you aren't allowed to creatively shag the regimintal goat like you did at the christmass party last year. That was bad............ | |||
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol" The words vivid and imagination spring to mind.... However u made me chuckle zx The above poster, sold a story to the sun, alleging Danny dyer was not a cockney plum, but is in fact from Bristol and is actualy a nice guy | |||
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol The words vivid and imagination spring to mind.... However u made me chuckle zx The above poster, sold a story to the sun, alleging Danny dyer was not a cockney plum, but is in fact from Bristol and is actualy a nice guy" Never! Knicked his T shirt and put a 2" hole just above the hem...... | |||
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"am i thinking about these lies too hard? lol The words vivid and imagination spring to mind.... However u made me chuckle zx The above poster, sold a story to the sun, alleging Danny dyer was not a cockney plum, but is in fact from Bristol and is actualy a nice guyNever! Knicked his T shirt and put a 2" hole just above the hem......" Laughed so hard a bit of wee came out | |||
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"Left a skid mark in the queens personal portaloo at v festival last year " I'm sure it was this year cos I accidentally almost pissed it orf. | |||
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"Is a stunt double for Phil Harding." Regularly sits on Parsnips becaause he 'enjoys the way the little hairs feel' | |||
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"Stood outside court for 5 days to see JT" in convinced he sees dead people. after a time in hospital, under observation, it was decided its not actually dead people, but as a child, his eyes didnt work properly, so they gave him the 6million dollar mans eyes. ever since then he has been playing KES on a repeated loop in his head. if you drill a hole in the back of his head, and sit him infront of the side of a building, you can make your own drivethru, however, you would have to employ a piano player, or make your own script up due to not having sound. | |||
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"Don't like cabbage, bacon, taytos crisps, nashs red lemonade magners , galtee cheese , mikado biscuits, farls, soda bread or poteen" out of all of that I actualy dont like most of it. Em loves pretty much all of it lol. funny story. first time we went out, Em asked me to get her a whiskey and red lemonade. no idea what she meant (didnt realise lemonade came in different colours, other than white lol) so she took a sip of her drink. didnt realise how bad whiskey and black current would taste lol | |||
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"Mr Lovedup actually looks like Podge under the green patch." have NO idea what the hell you are talking about there. | |||
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"Investigations show mr loved up is actually better know as podge Em is now on tranquillisers " who the fcuk is this podge dude? we getting personal now? cn rollp my sleeves and duel with the best of them. and you pair | |||
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"Investigations show mr loved up is actually better know as podge Em is now on tranquillisers who the fcuk is this podge dude? we getting personal now? cn rollp my sleeves and duel with the best of them. and you pair" I'll accept that as a lie Podge wishes he was Porge | |||
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"porge, pablo and _utmegs are all gonna get laid tonight, whereas podge will be lying in a bed, all alone, probably stroking his cock wondering where it all went wrong" You are supposed to tell a lie | |||
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"porge, pablo and _utmegs are all gonna get laid tonight, whereas podge will be lying in a bed, all alone, probably stroking his cock wondering where it all went wrong You are supposed to tell a lie " i did, unless ya wife is back tonight lol | |||
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"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect " doesnt like anal sex. | |||
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"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect doesnt like anal sex." Paints his face green because of his love of Jim Carey in the Mask | |||
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"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect doesnt like anal sex. Paints his face green because of his love of Jim Carey in the Mask" would love to paint your arse green and wear it as said mask. lol. i digress, im not doing my earlier deep thought out lies. let me do you guys one. after consumating their relationship very happily, for a fair few years, they found out they were actually half siblings. after the initial shock they decided to focus on the half that wasnt related (in mr's case, the lower half, and mrs case, the front half lol) and had many more years of consumation culminating in much enjoyment until, eventually, the laws were changed to allow such rudiness to happen, and they started from scratch. and boy, what a scratch. lol | |||
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"Once used her cleavage to hide several Russian diplomats whilst they were trying to defect doesnt like anal sex. Paints his face green because of his love of Jim Carey in the Mask" The most ugliest view of a backside i have ever seen. | |||
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"Has two inflatable sheep ……and for obvious reasons one is called Bar-bar-raa , but the other is named Marge after his preferred lubricant. " has a partime job as a doorway measuring clerk for the 2nd biggest building contracter in the UK. | |||
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"Is a macho male who will whip any sub lady " works as a part time private investigator. has a big case now, which he is searching for a mans wife, that ran off with his life savings and his best friend. he is close to tracking them down and feels he is getting close, but is dragging it out a little to get the expenses up a bit. | |||
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"Goes Morris Dancing on the first Thursday of every month and steals immobility scooters randomly. " Is wearing an 80's full on shellsuit (purple and green) ....he always wears it | |||
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"and you never admit you sucked my cock lol" Caused my recent 24 hour absence from the forums by inviting me to a Dr Who conference in Cardiff. Didn't meet me where he said he would meet me and left me dressed as a Darlek at the botom of a set of stairs! | |||
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"Has a crush on David Cameron!" Can't find any belts to fit....... | |||
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"Has a crush on David Cameron!" I don't doubt he has good intentions ....................... that's what puts me off! | |||
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"has a mutible personality.. " Has no personalities (ohhhh that's mean, glad it's a deliberate lie!) | |||
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"she loves a quick fuck n fumble, after all she is not married." she can't stand chocolate cake! | |||
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"she loves a quick fuck n fumble, after all she is not married. she can't stand chocolate cake!" Can't swim and hates fish........ | |||
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"hates fish isn't a lie lol - allergic to the little blighters unfortunately" doesnt like to go deep. | |||
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"used to be a siamese twin with hitlers cousin and ghandi was his best friend" Actually Exists and lives a normal life on a plantation farm in the midst of the Eden Project. | |||
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"Doesn't realy like Superman, is much more interested in Batman and Robin.........." Can't read properly without bottle bottom glasses & takes a copy of The Beano to bed with him. | |||
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"Can only perform while listening to old 78's of Harry Lauder Or underneath a poster of doctor who's cybernen" You know me too well. You have been reported as being a stalker on more occasions than you would care to mention. | |||
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"Can only perform while listening to old 78's of Harry Lauder Or underneath a poster of doctor who's cybernen You know me too well. You have been reported as being a stalker on more occasions than you would care to mention. " Was my Mum | |||
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"hes the real crocodile dundee " True words spoken there Sheila, I once saw a live alligator & I've eaten some Dundee cake. You have a pet snail called Simon who hides in the corner because you constantly get his name wrong | |||
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"Supports every team in London (depending on which mate he is with in the pub) but secretly vanishes to Old Trafford every other Sunday " His name is not at all derived from being a football fan , he has five pairs of wellies with very long and strong laces. | |||
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"Eats beef Stroganof every morning for breakfast, then mushroom Stroganof for tea, at which point he promptly throws up and his cat called "Nibbles" has an impromptu snack " sends me sweet nothings via pm | |||
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"Eats beef Stroganof every morning for breakfast, then mushroom Stroganof for tea, at which point he promptly throws up and his cat called "Nibbles" has an impromptu snack sends me sweet nothings via pm" She bites heads or live chickens | |||
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"Nasally whine comes from a schnozzola full of Harry monk Hunts rare butterflies during the summer months and trains potter all year round which coincides with his fetish for fish paste Totally misunderstood the concept of trout tickling" Took fifty shades the wrong way and bought loads of sunglasses... | |||
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"Nasally whine comes from a schnozzola full of Harry monk Hunts rare butterflies during the summer months and trains potter all year round which coincides with his fetish for fish paste Totally misunderstood the concept of trout tickling Took fifty shades the wrong way and bought loads of sunglasses... " took fifty shades the wrong way,met me and started to crayon me in ffs | |||
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"Nasally whine comes from a schnozzola full of Harry monk Hunts rare butterflies during the summer months and trains potter all year round which coincides with his fetish for fish paste Totally misunderstood the concept of trout tickling Took fifty shades the wrong way and bought loads of sunglasses... took fifty shades the wrong way,met me and started to crayon me in ffs " Has had a threesome with George and zippy ... | |||
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"holds the record for the longest .....kiss lol " probably true actually Not really swingers, they collect seaside postcards for cheap thrills | |||
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"*His" Supports notts forest ... Ducks | |||
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"Spent 17 years, 2 months and 3 days searching for a hat that perfectly matched his brickwork! " Bugger missed again!! | |||
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"Spent 17 years, 2 months and 3 days searching for a hat that perfectly matched his brickwork! Bugger missed again!! " I wouldn't miss if I was buggering you Owns 3 cats who are all called Trevor | |||
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"owns steptoes yard" The gent above has nicked a nice photo for his avatar. | |||
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