FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Should you change for somebody you love?

Jump to newest
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I am talking about looks and personality, beliefs and attitudes... should you change yours for the person you love?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Yes, somewhat, not too much though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

Yes, somewhat, not too much though."
What would you be prepared to change then ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

HELL to the NO!

If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.

- Amy. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Natural changes yes, but not unnatural and forced changes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"HELL to the NO!

If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.

- Amy. x"
What if we are talking little irritating habits?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they loved and respected you then nothing would need to be changed..

If i was madly in love id do almost anything to please a man so if i was asked.. (depending on what it was) id consider it and posdibly do it. pleasing a man makes me happy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Natural changes yes, but not unnatural and forced changes."
What is a natural change - shaved armpits?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"If they loved and respected you then nothing would need to be changed..

If i was madly in love id do almost anything to please a man so if i was asked.. (depending on what it was) id consider it and posdibly do it. pleasing a man makes me happy"

SO there is a difference between doing something for somebody if you enjoy pleasing?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"If they loved and respected you then nothing would need to be changed..

If i was madly in love id do almost anything to please a man so if i was asked.. (depending on what it was) id consider it and posdibly do it. pleasing a man makes me happy"

Your'e confusing love with servitude.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Natural changes yes, but not unnatural and forced changes.What is a natural change - shaved armpits?"

Changing a single persons habits helps IF in a relationship

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"HELL to the NO!

If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.

- Amy. xWhat if we are talking little irritating habits? "

Depends on what they are... If you consistently pick your nose and wipe it on the couch/curtains, then I could understand, but if it's the slight bit of O.C.D I have with the way things are set out or cleaned, then no. - It's all part of the package.

- Amy. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"HELL to the NO!

If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.

- Amy. x"

If they changed, they would be the person you fell in love with.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes, somewhat, not too much though."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you should have to change for a loved one, you was you when they fell in love with you so why change?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's an interesting dilemma you pose - how often have relationships broke up because one person has met someone they like and then set about turning him/her into someone they don't like?

I am what I am so love me or leave me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uyuksno1Man
over a year ago

poole

no and i wouldnt want my man to change being together means accepting the bad habbits too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"HELL to the NO!

If they can't love you for who you are, they are not worth your time.

- Amy. x

If they changed, they would be the person you fell in love with. "

Exactly. You can't mould people like playdough. If they're not you're looking for then move along and find someone else. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can anybody really change or is it just putting on an act which will soon become apparent?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"you should have to change for a loved one, you was you when they fell in love with you so why change? "
Interesting one - sometimes we try and change bits about our partners, and then when they have changed we might not like who they have become.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Can anybody really change or is it just putting on an act which will soon become apparent?"
Both - people do put faces on, public personas etc... but equally change and learning are possible at any stage in life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If one truly loves another person, one would accept that person as he/she is.

IMHO.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them."
I guess that thats a good point - once you lived alone for a while, you can get a little set in your ways? That makes it perhaps a bit more difficult to adapt to the demands of others...?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I would think the biggest problem, in a relationship or other, is that each of us changes ourselves over time anyway. Some changes not being too subtle.

The Chinese have a saying about willow (i think)how it bends in the breeze, if it didn't it would snap. Wise people.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"Can anybody really change or is it just putting on an act which will soon become apparent?"

Sorry, touchy subject for me.

One of my exes was abusive (emotionally AND physically) and beat down many things in my behaviour and physical appearance to make me fit HIS idea of perfect.

Obviously, it never TRULY changed me though... The real you will always be there, so I just made myself numb and became a shell.

All Hell breaks loose though when you finally snap. I've never felt stronger or more confident in who I am. And would never allow myself to be treated that way again.

- Amy. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them.I guess that thats a good point - once you lived alone for a while, you can get a little set in your ways? That makes it perhaps a bit more difficult to adapt to the demands of others...?"

I also have a lot of cats. I suspect that might put some people off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Can anybody really change or is it just putting on an act which will soon become apparent?

Sorry, touchy subject for me.

One of my exes was abusive (emotionally AND physically) and beat down many things in my behaviour and physical appearance to make me fit HIS idea of perfect.

Obviously, it never TRULY changed me though... The real you will always be there, so I just made myself numb and became a shell.

All Hell breaks loose though when you finally snap. I've never felt stronger or more confident in who I am. And would never allow myself to be treated that way again.

- Amy. x"
Shame you had that experience - and glad you ahve come out stornger and more determined not to let that happen again xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"

The Chinese have a saying about willow (i think)how it bends in the breeze, if it didn't it would snap. Wise people."
Wise indeed. (You have been drinking, havent you?)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"I also have a lot of cats. I suspect that might put some people off. "

Men/Bi-sexual Women having a problem with pussy? NEVER!

- Amy. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them."

I'm the same...would have to adapt to having a person around for more than a couple of hours, but I wouldn't change who I am. As for how I look, have tried to change that for myself and not been very successful, so doing it for someone else would just never work. If I did manage to shift the weight though, I would want them to be happy for me achieving my goal not just because I was slimmer x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts


"I'm the same...would have to adapt to having a person around for more than a couple of hours, but I wouldn't change who I am. As for how I look, have tried to change that for myself and not been very successful, so doing it for someone else would just never work. If I did manage to shift the weight though, I would want them to be happy for me achieving my goal not just because I was slimmer x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london

Change them No, support changes they may wish to make probably.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *phrodite OP   Woman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"IF, and it's a big if, I met someone I felt I'd want a relationship with, I realise I would perhaps need to change some things. I have lived alone for 6 years so have probably got some interesting foibles that may irritate a guy when we become closer. However, I wouldn't change how I look for them.

I'm the same...would have to adapt to having a person around for more than a couple of hours, but I wouldn't change who I am. As for how I look, have tried to change that for myself and not been very successful, so doing it for someone else would just never work. If I did manage to shift the weight though, I would want them to be happy for me achieving my goal not just because I was slimmer x"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top