FabSwingers.com forum: The first rule of.......daft trivia

By *ushroom7 OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

No.1 When out bear hunting you don't need to be quicker than the bear, just your assistant.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

r u talking from experience ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bears run quicker uphill than down

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By *ushroom7 OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"r u talking from experience ??"

No, the wife wouldn't go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your car has broken down, ALWAYS make sure the knees are bent and the back is straight when pushing the vehicle.

It makes it so much easier for the wife to push

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Single guys are less attractive

There is a reason for this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way to a mans heart isn't through his stomach - but through the sternum with a pick axe or chainsaw!

Or so my ex kept advising me!!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

there are no stupid questions. just stupid people

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card.

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

The queen of hearts baked some tarts

I think they sacked the cook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

King Edward the 7th, was the first British Monarch to have a ....... tattoo.

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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire(ish)

A one legged duck swims in circles!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your thumb is the same size as your nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No four legged animal has four knees...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your thumb is the same size as your nose."

At least it's not the same size as my...

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"No four legged animal has four knees..."

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump.

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By *uyuksno1Man
over a year ago

poole

the first rule of fight club is .... make sure tenna lady firmly in position before lifting leg into upper kick position

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump."

neither can white men.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump.

neither can white men....."

Racist and sexist!!

I'm white and I had a jump the other night

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump.

neither can white men.....

Racist and sexist!!

I'm white and I had a jump the other night

then wesley snipes and woody harellson are fcuking liars!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump.

neither can white men.....

Racist and sexist!!

I'm white and I had a jump the other night

then wesley snipes and woody harellson are fcuking liars!! lol"

One beats the shit out of everybody that stands in his way and the other kills zombies.....yep! they're fecking liars!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump."

Elephants have wrists...

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By *a and kaCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire(ish)

The latin name for the Horned Owl is Bubo Virgin-i-anus

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump.

Elephants have wrists..."

Don't fancy one off the wrist from an elephant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Latin name for a chimp is 'Pan Trogolodytes'

Latin name for the mountain gorilla is 'Gorilla Gorilla'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump.

Elephants have wrists..."
They don't, they have elbows (their knees point forward, their elbows point back)

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"bears run quicker uphill than down"
also run faster if you put honey on your ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bits that oars on a boat sit are called rollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The word gullible is not in the dictionary...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its impossible to slam a revolving door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A giraffes Tongue is 2ft long!!!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The whelk has the longest penis, relative to it's body size, in the Animal Kingdom at around 15 times. It is prehensile and has scent sencing cells at the tip to be able to find the female.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A chameleons Tongue is twice as long as it's own body! Xx

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

"The word gullible is not in the dictionary..."

I thought it was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't lick your elbow with your Tongue!

Seems to be a theme running here? Lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and Great Britain in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump.

Elephants have wrists...They don't, they have elbows (their knees point forward, their elbows point back)"
Still don't fancy one off the wrist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the great strikers Dixie Dean and Jimmy Greaves, were both aged exactly 23 years 290 days, when they both scored their 200th league goals!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha... Hope your using a slice of sarcasm there!!!!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cricket is the only sport, profesionaly played, which does not have any rules.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winston Churchill was not only a great speech maker, his wit was also legendary. In the House of Commons Nancy Astor MP, angry with Churchill, said 'If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee'. Churchill replied 'Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it'.

Another female MP, Bessie Braddock when seeing Churchill intoxicated, said 'Winston you're d*unk' to which Churchill replied 'Bessie you're ugly. And tomorrow I shall be sober'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cricket is the only sport, profesionaly played, which does not have any rules........."

Have you ever seen league 2 football lol....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cricket is the only sport, profesionaly played, which does not have any rules........."

not really true...... its has LAWS but these are encompassed by 'The Rules of Cricket' as laid down by the MCC

http://www.rulesofcricket.co.uk/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cricket is the only sport, profesionaly played, which does not have any rules.........

Have you ever seen league 2 football lol....

"
lol Cricket has Laws not rules.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Winston Churchill was not only a great speech maker, his wit was also legendary. In the House of Commons Nancy Astor MP, angry with Churchill, said 'If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee'. Churchill replied 'Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it'.

Another female MP, Bessie Braddock when seeing Churchill intoxicated, said 'Winston you're d*unk' to which Churchill replied 'Bessie you're ugly. And tomorrow I shall be sober'.

"
Cripes, don't get me started on Old Winnie, I will be drummed out of the forum.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

London is on the same line of latitude as Moscow and Labrador

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually football as a game has no rules either, it is played under the laws of the game.

the stucture of the sport as a whole is governed by rules and regulations but the playing of the game itself is governed by laws not rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can't lick your elbow with your Tongue!

Seems to be a theme running here? Lol xx"

You can with a chainsaw!

Or if a boulder traps your arm - a pen knife!

Although I don't remember seeing him try in the film!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

Another female MP, Bessie Braddock when seeing Churchill intoxicated, said 'Winston you're d*unk' to which Churchill replied 'Bessie you're ugly. And tomorrow I shall be sober'.

Cripes, don't get me started on Old Winnie, I will be drummed out of the forum......."

there ya go again with the seriousness....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another female MP, Bessie Braddock when seeing Churchill intoxicated, said 'Winston you're d*unk' to which Churchill replied 'Bessie you're ugly. And tomorrow I shall be sober'.

Cripes, don't get me started on Old Winnie, I will be drummed out of the forum.......

there ya go again with the seriousness....lol"
Sod it, now I gotta wait for some other people to post!

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

Another female MP, Bessie Braddock when seeing Churchill intoxicated, said 'Winston you're d*unk' to which Churchill replied 'Bessie you're ugly. And tomorrow I shall be sober'.

Cripes, don't get me started on Old Winnie, I will be drummed out of the forum.......

there ya go again with the seriousness....lolSod it, now I gotta wait for some other people to post!"

im actually intrueged as to what you were gonna post

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!"

Not ALL water

I make my own from the tap

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

Not ALL water

I make my own from the tap"

i use urine recyc.

mind, some people say im just taking the piss......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A giraffes Tongue is 2ft long!!!! Xx"

they also have the longest tail of any land animal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A giraffes Tongue is 2ft long!!!! Xx

they also have the longest tail of any land animal

and they also have the same number of neck bones as a human

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/07/12 10:01:11]

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"No four legged animal has four knees...

Elephants do.

Talking of which, elephants can't jump."

Julius Ceasar claimed that elephants have no knees at all, a mistake that was taken as true for many centuries after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A British medical journal called The Practitioner has determined that bird watching can be hazardous to one's health. They have officially designated bird watching a hazardous activity, using the example of the death of a bird watcher who became so wrapped up in watching a particular bird that he failed to notice his potentially dangerous surroundings and was eaten by a crocodile.

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"A giraffes Tongue is 2ft long!!!! Xx

they also have the longest tail of any land animal

and they also have the same number of neck bones as a human"

and thier tongues are black and feel like sandpaper they are so rough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

Not ALL water

I make my own from the tap

i use urine recyc.

mind, some people say im just taking the piss......"

Astronauts on the space station recycle their urine as it costs......wait for it......... 11000 dolloars per litre to transport clean water to them...

and i thought Waitrose was expensive...

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"A giraffes Tongue is 2ft long!!!! Xx

they also have the longest tail of any land animal

and they also have the same number of neck bones as a human

and thier tongues are black and feel like sandpaper they are so rough"

that sounds like you have had a painful experience lol

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

Not ALL water

I make my own from the tap

i use urine recyc.

mind, some people say im just taking the piss......

Astronauts on the space station recycle their urine as it costs......wait for it......... 11000 dolloars per litre to transport clean water to them...

and i thought Waitrose was expensive...

theyd be pissed off if it was past its sell by and had to take it back then

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"A giraffes Tongue is 2ft long!!!! Xx

they also have the longest tail of any land animal

and they also have the same number of neck bones as a human

and thier tongues are black and feel like sandpaper they are so rough"

and mat i just say, looking at your pics.

RIKES!!!!! lol

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"A giraffes Tongue is 2ft long!!!! Xx

they also have the longest tail of any land animal

and they also have the same number of neck bones as a human

and thier tongues are black and feel like sandpaper they are so rough

that sounds like you have had a painful experience lol"

yep one has reached over the bars and licked me once, not nice

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

rikes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

Not ALL water

I make my own from the tap

i use urine recyc.

mind, some people say im just taking the piss......

Astronauts on the space station recycle their urine as it costs......wait for it......... 11000 dolloars per litre to transport clean water to them...

and i thought Waitrose was expensive...

theyd be pissed off if it was past its sell by and had to take it back then"

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Three billion years old and a two week sell by date

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"rikes?"

yeah, what scooby use to say a lot.

could have said jengies but i didnt think it was as funny

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"rikes?

yeah, what scooby use to say a lot.

could have said jengies but i didnt think it was as funny"

stupid me, scoobie said rikes, velma said jengies, cany remember what daphe said (tho im mr love 2 and have a shaggy mask too)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!"

The sell by date refers to the bottle itself, not the water. If its a plastic PET bottle, it degrades and contaminates the water once opened.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

The sell by date refers to the bottle itself, not the water. If its a plastic PET bottle, it degrades and contaminates the water once opened.....

you may well be right but water sold in glass bottles still have a best before date!!! glass doesnt degrade and contaminate the water.

explain that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

The sell by date refers to the bottle itself, not the water. If its a plastic PET bottle, it degrades and contaminates the water once opened.....

you may well be right but water sold in glass bottles still have a best before date!!! glass doesnt degrade and contaminate the water.

explain that one

"
Glass doesn't actualy set solid, the structure is still fluid (albeit incredibly viscous). Over a long enough timescale the bottle will deform and the water will run away........Also any metal in the cap might corode and croduce toxic contaminents.........Ner ner ner ner ner!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"buy a bottle of water from the supermarket and it will have a 'best before' date, yet all the water that we drink is over 3 billion years old!!

The sell by date refers to the bottle itself, not the water. If its a plastic PET bottle, it degrades and contaminates the water once opened.....

you may well be right but water sold in glass bottles still have a best before date!!! glass doesnt degrade and contaminate the water.

explain that one

Glass doesn't actualy set solid, the structure is still fluid (albeit incredibly viscous). Over a long enough timescale the bottle will deform and the water will run away........Also any metal in the cap might corode and croduce toxic contaminents.........Ner ner ner ner ner!"

ok yes, glass is a liquid really and does deform over many years, but not over 3 or 4 months or whatever a best before date would be.

The real reason, i belive, is that the date refers to the integrity of the container and its sterility.... its the same with tins of beans etc. i have opened tins way outside the date and the contents are ok. its just that the longer something is in its container the higher the likelehood of a breach of its airtightedness (is that word?) which could then lead to contamination.

its just a safety net. ok its different for some perishable items such as dairy produce because contents themselves break down even in an airtight container.

it just made me laugh one day when a water advert went on about how it was filtered for thousands of years through volcanic rock, picking up many minerals an vitamins on the way and how it was bottles at source and the most purest most natural product etc etc etc.. and then told everyone they had to drink it within 6 months...!!!!!! or what?? i dont know!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no mater how pure, almost all the water you drink has been pissed out, at some point...........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no mater how pure, almost all the water you drink has been pissed out, at some point..........."

yep it sure has........

in our local pub they bypass all that recycling rubbish and just put it straight back in the keg....

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Tastes better than wife beater

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tastes better than wife beater

You been sucking off Mike Tyson again?

Tut, tut, tut!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tastes better than wife beater

You been sucking off Mike Tyson again?

Tut, tut, tut!

"
No he said Wife Beater, not Ear Biter.......Oh hang on..........

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Not going near a Stella

Unless she's got nice tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dom Perignon was actualy trying to figure out a way to take bubbles out of champaign untill English bottle makers perfected a way to mass produce thick bottles for his fizzy wine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Guilotine was in use in Harrogate at least 150 years before the French Revolution....................

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By *umsuckMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

More people were executed by Guillotine in Nazi Germany than during the French revolution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"More people were executed by Guillotine in Nazi Germany than during the French revolution "
Realy? I am suprised!

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By *umsuckMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

"More people were executed by Guillotine in Nazi Germany than during the French revolution Realy? I am suprised!"

Actually there's no true figures but estimates put 10/12 thousand during revolution and 16/20 during Nazi reign. East Germany continued to use the guillotine into 1960's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah, well, thats fair enough........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no mater how pure, almost all the water you drink has been pissed out, at some point...........

yep it sure has........

in our local pub they bypass all that recycling rubbish and just put it straight back in the keg....

Think we go to the same local......

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"Dom Perignon was actualy trying to figure out a way to take bubbles out of champaign untill English bottle makers perfected a way to mass produce thick bottles for his fizzy wine."

I mentioned that on another forum triv thread, it started in london where a guy got a faulty batch of Red wine which was fizzy, he rquested more so dom perignon tried to reproduce it but the bottles kept breaking under the pressure until they found a geordie glass producers that made extra strong bottles,

for the record they make them then turn them uspide down at an angle so the fermenting yeast collects near the lid then they freeze it there, once its frozen they pop the top off it then top it up with flat wine then cork it

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

"
I was going to tell that tail, but felt it waz too early...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

you calling me a pig????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 'Charge of the Light Brigade' was caused by confused orders and dislike of the Army comander by the comander of the cavalry, who was killed during the charge. That action was followed very quickly by a charge by the 'heavy brigade' of cavalry which was entirely successfull in achieving it's objectives.........

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

you calling me a pig????

You must be a real heavy cummer if it takes 30 minutes to blow your load

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Gonads Like a sack of potatoes some of us guys

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Gonads Like a sack of potatoes some of us guys"

Buster Gonad and his unfeasibly large testicles is alive and kicking and still trundling his bollox round in a wheelbarrow then

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

"Gonads Like a sack of potatoes some of us guys

Buster Gonad and his unfeasibly large testicles is alive and kicking and still trundling his bollox round in a wheelbarrow then

Just seen him in the fabbed pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

you calling me a pig????

You must be a real heavy cummer if it takes 30 minutes to blow your load

doesnt realy blow. it just dribbles a lot...

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

you calling me a pig????

You must be a real heavy cummer if it takes 30 minutes to blow your load

doesnt realy blow. it just dribbles a lot...

is that his mouth hes talking about?

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By *ushroom7 OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

The first rule of a First Rule thread is not to be too surprised at the speed at which it mutates to a set of "post any trivia" or "lukewarm disagreement" postings.

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Don't agree

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"Don't agree

and i disagree with you, but only tepidly which isnt the same as luke warm so i probably disagree with him too, I think

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

if you say taboo really fast five times,

it still sounds like taboo.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

sheep dont orgasm.

well not when i shag them.

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By *ushroom7 OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

sheep dont orgasm.

well not when i shag them.

female i hope

wouldn't want to think of you as a perve

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Apparently a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes

sheep dont orgasm.

well not when i shag them.

female i hope

wouldn't want to think of you as a perve"

shame on you mushy,the very thought eeeeeeccchhh.

just cause she's called barry,and is a good driver,doesn't mean she's male.

oh shit!oh shit!!oh shit!!!.

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By *ushroom7 OP Man
over a year ago

Bradford

lol

The first rule of giving is being able to take, unless..

it's a mardy woman with a strap on.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

lol

The first rule of giving is being able to take, unless..

it's a mardy woman with a strap on."

i've met mardy woman,you try saying no.

although saying, ouch,ouch,ouch,ouch,ouch,ouch,ouch,ouch,

is apparently ok.

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