FabSwingers.com forum: Can I ask a question?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".

What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

I always say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always say

No"

This

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I always say

This

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I always say

No"

I'll have to brush up on ma chat up lines then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and I always say you just have.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I always say

I'll have to brush up on ma chat up lines then

No need xxxxx

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

Oh my days this annoys me on here and in person too! Just get to the point haha

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I say fire away but if it is rude so not expect an answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and still get told no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errr what kind off chat up line is that but no thanks happy swingeing x

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I always say

I'll have to brush up on ma chat up lines then

No need xxxxx"

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I always say

I'll have to brush up on ma chat up lines then

No need xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh my days this annoys me on here and in person too! Just get to the point haha

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

As they've asked the question, there's no need to - and they're not expecting, a reply.

1 chance, 1 question. They blew it, spaffed from a lazy wank effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh my days this annoys me on here and in person too! Just get to the point haha

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I just say no and they never come back well they would have a job to as they are blocked

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I never reply because this opener tends to lead to the

questions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never reply because this opener tends to lead to the

questions

Totally

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

A teacher moons ago used to love to point out

'Can I..' means "Do I have the capability?".

'May I...' means "Will you allow me to?".

Same teacher would often follow with "so boy as you don't seem to be able to tell the difference between either question the answer is clearly "No".

We tend to just sigh and delete. (he wasn't the best teacher)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A teacher moons ago used to love to point out

'Can I..' means "Do I have the capability?".

'May I...' means "Will you allow me to?".

Same teacher would often follow with "so boy as you don't seem to be able to tell the difference between either question the answer is clearly "No".

We tend to just sigh and delete. (he wasn't the best teacher)

I'm using this next time. It's brilliant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ages ago I would rarely hear it, but when I took on a job a few years ago I had to, and still have to, deal with a coworker who says it all the time. All the other coworkers noticed it and dislike it. I know their intention is to be polite, but they overdo it and it ironically comes off as annoying more than polite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually say they can ask but doesn’t mean I will answer it.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".

What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"

Reply with "No need to, the answer is 42"

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I like to play with these and normally say only if the question relates to starwars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask you a question? How far do you lower your pants it's amazing how many people still to this day ask that stupid question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just say no and they never come back well they would have a job to as they are blocked"

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

It really does my tits in. I say no and block them. I always think they’re going to say something tosspottery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".

What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"

Its normally followed by "would you mind if I wanked over your pictures" - you ladies are ruthless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. It's usually from someone who wants to steer the discussion in a particular way, which is a big turn-off!

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

Can’t get why any body would, just ask the question. If the person isn’t likely to respond they won’t respond to you asking if you can ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a way of easing someone into something that’s awkward, but it’s really manipulation, they will usually have something specific on their mind and they think you’d probably aren’t going to like it. So, they soften you up first by being passively defensive, they are defending themselves from getting an earful, if you say ‘no’ they’re not the ones being rude, but by saying ‘yes’ to the seemingly polite lead in question, they have set you up to feel under pressure to answer the next question politely, because you’ve already partially agreed to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s a way of easing someone into something that’s awkward, but it’s really manipulation, they will usually have something specific on their mind and they think you’d probably aren’t going to like it. So, they soften you up first by being passively defensive, they are defending themselves from getting an earful, if you say ‘no’ they’re not the ones being rude, but by saying ‘yes’ to the seemingly polite lead in question, they have set you up to feel under pressure to answer the next question politely, because you’ve already partially agreed to it. "

Agree with all this. It’s an alarm bell to us that they’re unlikely to have the confidence to interest me - just ask the question and stop wasting energy. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This annoys me so much, I just delete the message

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

I politely remind them they just asked a question and thank them for their time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it’s so frustrating!! If you have a question just ask the question and I will decide if I want to answer it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always say

No"

Me too!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/12/20 08:43:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I bothered replying at all, I would say "Seeing as you haven't asked to ask, don't bother."

He should be asking "May I ask...." or say "PLease allow me to ask....."

"Can I" is not asking to ask.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I once said "yes please do, I'm on the edge of my seat!"

He said no need to be rude!

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By *oppolocosTV/TS
over a year ago

inverurie

Hate that phrase. I always tell people you can ask me anything, but just because you've asked doesn't mean I have to answer, and if I do, be prepared for an answer you may not like.

Maybe that's why my wife doesn't ask certain questions!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm loving all your comments. Definitely going to use them in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's just English politeness, don't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deoends what I'm asking. If it's maybe a bit of a forward question, will usually follow up with, if you don't mind me asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's just English politeness, don't you?

Not as an introduction, surely. That's simply impolite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's just English politeness, don't you?

No, it’s manipulation, is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".

What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"

“Only if it’s a dumb question”

It’s something my mum says and I think I’ve inherited the habit. X

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By *istretchMan
over a year ago

leeds

Seems to be a game of one up manship sometimes here, those can afford good chance of receiving a lot of messages will belittle the sender those that don't wont tend to be so condescending.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems to be a game of one up manship sometimes here, those can afford good chance of receiving a lot of messages will belittle the sender those that don't wont tend to be so condescending. "

Does seem to be the case, doesn't it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a technique to get a response I suppose, or they might have a legitimate question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those messages get deleted.

Harsh, but fair.

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By *istretchMan
over a year ago

leeds

"Those messages get deleted.

Harsh, but fair."

Why fair ? What if the question was about knowing the person or giving a heads up about been known away from here .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those messages get deleted.

Harsh, but fair.

Why fair ? What if the question was about knowing the person or giving a heads up about been known away from here . "

Then don't introduce yourself with such a generic term as a subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those messages get deleted.

Harsh, but fair.

Why fair ? What if the question was about knowing the person or giving a heads up about been known away from here . "

You’ve used the ‘Can I ask you question ?’ opener before haven’t you ?!

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I once said "yes please do, I'm on the edge of my seat!"

He said no need to be rude!

This from a person who had sent the same message 6 or 7 times and been already told I wasn't interested.

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By *istretchMan
over a year ago

leeds

"Those messages get deleted.

Harsh, but fair.

Why fair ? What if the question was about knowing the person or giving a heads up about been known away from here .

You’ve used the ‘Can I ask you question ?’ opener before haven’t you ?!

No ,

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

"Seems to be a game of one up manship sometimes here, those can afford good chance of receiving a lot of messages will belittle the sender those that don't wont tend to be so condescending. "

Nope. Aside from grammar fail (above) & issue of supply and demand, it is typically a lazy mass email teqhnique to see who responds and then the sender looks to see what they can ask. Its a non-question to gain engagement with zero effort through false humility. Think Uriah Heep.

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By *addyBabygirl2020Couple
over a year ago

norwich

"Seems to be a game of one up manship sometimes here, those can afford good chance of receiving a lot of messages will belittle the sender those that don't wont tend to be so condescending.

Literally just had one of these message and replied "no thanks"

Wish I had seen this thread first as I would have sent one of the brilliant replies people have given

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else get messages with this in and think "Just ask it. Don't ask if you can ask.".

What's your best come back line, apart from "you've just asked it"?"

"I reply ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies"

If they continue to ask the question I will reply with a blatant lie

However, if someone asks me a question in normal circumstances I'm an open book and don't hide anything

Doughnut

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By *xTwo4FunTimesxXCouple
15 weeks ago

chester

We get this off the same person every few months.

We ignore him but he continues on regardless and tries to get MrsTwo involved in a "cat fight".

We ask him to not message again, he blocks us and we block him.

A few months later.... our inbox has him in again with something along the lines of "I've got to ask you something"

Rinse and repeat.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

Yes I am your mommy, wait until I tell your dad.. usually send them packing.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
15 weeks ago

Newcastle

One of the most irritating messages to receive. Instant block and delete.

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
15 weeks ago

Manchester

"It really does my tits in. I say no and block them. I always think they’re going to say something tosspottery."

"Tosspottery" I have never heard that expression, it has made laugh, I have now borrowed that and will be inserting it into my sarcastic vocabulary 😀

Many thanks Luna

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