FabSwingers.com forum: Do you have a bed ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Beds are one of the best things to get into after a hard days work, they are like shelves for people. People often say they are off to bed when they are about to go to bed, that’s how you know they are going, except Cockneys say they are going up the apple and pears or some shit, Bridget Jones said she’s going to Bedfordshire. Which I found endearing, (if any women on here say the same on here hit me up).

Beds come in varies shapes and sizes large medium and small, sometimes small people get large beds so they can spread out. One of the best beds you can get is the racing car bed, like the one Chandler had in Friends. Women love to put hundreds of cushions on beds after they are made, no one knows why, I think it’s cause when you want to get in you have to throw them all onto the floor and then put them back again in the morning for no apparent reason, these are known as soft furnishings, women love soft furnishings. Often they say my house needs more soft furnishings.

Things that go on in beds involve, sleeping, eating and having the sex, or sometimes all three at the same time. The first bed was invented by Sir Robert Bed in 1902, he said to his then wife ‘I’ve had enough of lying on these cunting rocks they’re playing havoc with my Rheumatoid arthritisis, there must be something better!’ She replied ‘Fucking wimp, I knew I should have married the blacksmith!’ Bed technology has moved on since then, you can now get mattresses with springs in.

More songs have been written about beds then any other subject ever, ‘Beds are Burning’, ‘Bed of Roses’ and ‘Get out of your lazy bed!’ to name just a few bangers!

So, do you have a bed, or if you haven’t have you met anyone who has a bed, what bed do they have, what bed do you have, is your bed your oasis of calm or place of wanton desire ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a bed too funnily enough

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

I have a bed. It has 8 pillows, 2 large cushions and 3 small cushions plus a throw. I like the soft furnishings. When I throw myself onto it I feel like Ariel the first time she got in a bed. That scene is what moulded me into the person I am today.

My bed is for snoozing.

My bed is never for snacking.

Snacking in bed leads to a crumby nights sleep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have a bed too funnily enough "

Yes, I can see from you photo, it looks a lovely one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a bed."

Excellent

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I have a bed."

I’d like to be in his bed. ^

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a bed. It has 8 pillows, 2 large cushions and 3 small cushions plus a throw. I like the soft furnishings. When I throw myself onto it I feel like Ariel the first time she got in a bed. That scene is what moulded me into the person I am today.

My bed is for snoozing.

My bed is never for snacking.

Snacking in bed leads to a crumby nights sleep. "

These are the details I like to see, thank you for your input Bridget

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a bed.

I’d like to be in his bed. ^

Please, no smut on my bed thread.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

My bed is for snoozing.

My bed is never for snacking.

Snacking in bed leads to a crumby nights sleep. "

Bed picnics are the best!!

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I have a bed.

I’d like to be in his bed. ^

Please, no smut on my bed thread."

It’s truth not smut.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My bed is for snoozing.

My bed is never for snacking.

Snacking in bed leads to a crumby nights sleep.

Bed picnics are the best!!"

It’s kicking off already

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

My bed is fab, it’s one of those double size ones, not king size coz after all I’m not a size queen

it’s not for the sex though, it’s a virgin bed although lady wanks have been achieved whilst under the double duvet blanket type thing

Never eaten in it but I have sipped a squash on several occasions which was quite refreshing

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’d like to have laughs in your bed too CJ, I think you’d give good bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 master bed and 2 in the other 2 rooms for visitors.

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By *00KissesCouple
over a year ago

Stourbridge

I love my bed, it's like a big soft sleigh. I hate getting out of my bed.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

My bed is for snoozing.

My bed is never for snacking.

Snacking in bed leads to a crumby nights sleep.

Bed picnics are the best!!"

Although I’m inclined to agree, it would have made my ‘crumby nights sleep’ pun less funny. I’m sat chuckling over my genius.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

My bed is for snoozing.

My bed is never for snacking.

Snacking in bed leads to a crumby nights sleep.

Bed picnics are the best!!

Although I’m inclined to agree, it would have made my ‘crumby nights sleep’ pun less funny. I’m sat chuckling over my genius. "

Hey Zeus you’re so punny. X

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I have a bed. It is a very big bed and very comfortable. I like my bed when the sheets are freshly laundered and I can do the wiggle dance and get them warm and be enveloped by the smell of clean linen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My bed is fab, it’s one of those double size ones, not king size coz after all I’m not a size queen

it’s not for the sex though, it’s a virgin bed although lady wanks have been achieved whilst under the double duvet blanket type thing

Never eaten in it but I have sipped a squash on several occasions which was quite refreshing

Squash is very refreshing, especially when thirsty. Beds are one of the best places to have lady wanks I am told.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love my bed, it's like a big soft sleigh. I hate getting out of my bed. "

That’s a good analogy, big soft sleigh.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"My bed is fab, it’s one of those double size ones, not king size coz after all I’m not a size queen

it’s not for the sex though, it’s a virgin bed although lady wanks have been achieved whilst under the double duvet blanket type thing

Never eaten in it but I have sipped a squash on several occasions which was quite refreshing

Squash is very refreshing, especially when thirsty. Beds are one of the best places to have lady wanks I am told."

It is and they are

it’s quite a cozy setting for giving man wanks too, you can just lie back and with a flick of the wrist everyone is happy

then you can have a refreshing squash after

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a bed. It is a very big bed and very comfortable. I like my bed when the sheets are freshly laundered and I can do the wiggle dance and get them warm and be enveloped by the smell of clean linen. "

Fresh sheets are the best, I really should wash mine sometime

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’d like to have laughs in your bed too CJ, I think you’d give good bed."

We will have to take mattress into our own hands if you want terrible bed puns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/11/20 17:53:17]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"1 master bed and 2 in the other 2 rooms for visitors."

This is a good selection of beds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had my bed made. It's called Bedzilla as it's huge. It has four posts to chain naughty subs to.

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

What is your bed like OP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My bed is fab, it’s one of those double size ones, not king size coz after all I’m not a size queen

it’s not for the sex though, it’s a virgin bed although lady wanks have been achieved whilst under the double duvet blanket type thing

Never eaten in it but I have sipped a squash on several occasions which was quite refreshing

Squash is very refreshing, especially when thirsty. Beds are one of the best places to have lady wanks I am told.

It is and they are

it’s quite a cozy setting for giving man wanks too, you can just lie back and with a flick of the wrist everyone is happy

then you can have a refreshing squash after

Amazing what you can do with just a flick of the wrist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by 4 poster bed at 29/11/20 17:53:17]"

I love my bed

It is my safe space, I am laid it now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is your bed like OP? "

I actually sleep in a hammock because I’m pretentious.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

This reads like ‘Just a minute’!

30 seconds on BEDS! Off you go

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"What is your bed like OP?

I actually sleep in a hammock because I’m pretentious."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a king size sleigh style bed and I'm not sharing....until at least January but probably longer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had my bed made. It's called Bedzilla as it's huge. It has four posts to chain naughty subs to. "

Sounds amazing, I’ve been incredibly bad, I didn’t clean the oven like I was told

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This reads like ‘Just a minute’!

30 seconds on BEDS! Off you go

Have you got a bed ?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We have three beds and a futon. Our bed is very squeaky - it sends regular signals to the surrounding populace that rumpy-pumpy might be taking place. Our bed has minimal furnishings - just the standard-issue 2x pillows per occupant; 1x duvet and associated cotton bedding (colours/patterns various)

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

I have a double bed...I love spreading out! Maybe if I end up getting a bed with someone else one day in the future, I'd want a bigger bed as I love my space but occasionally would want cuddles

And I am very naughty and love snacking in bed

Are you a snacker in bed OP?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a king size sleigh style bed and I'm not sharing....until at least January but probably longer

One end could be in a different postcode to the other.

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

We have the ‘Forty Winks Super Deluxe mk2’ bed manufactured by the Sir Robert’s Small Arms and Bed Company in 1923.

By 1923 Sir Robert had left his alcoholic brother in-law to run the business while he was busy in Hollywood marketing mattresses to motion picture studios to cushion the landings of stunt personnel and save countless lives.

Our particular bed was retrofitted with springs in 1955. It has never been used as it is too valuable to be slept on, being one of the few examples left in the world as by 1983 most had been melted down to meet the global demand for metal to manufacture shoulder pads.

A recent appraisal by bed experts from Sotheby’s and IKEA determined minor structural damage caused by excessive scatter pillow mass. The scatter pillows are due to be removed by an expert in the field in the near future.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Well...since I moved into this flat this time last year I've had a day bed, with a curly metal frame which in theory would be great to be tied to but in practise who knows as it has been lockdown since 1852.

The mattress is rock hard and I frequently prefer to fall asleep on the sofa which at least feels like it might have some springs in it.

And then wake up at 2am with my feet hanging off the end.

Not ideal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have three beds and a futon. Our bed is very squeaky - it sends regular signals to the surrounding populace that rumpy-pumpy might be taking place. Our bed has minimal furnishings - just the standard-issue 2x pillows per occupant; 1x duvet and associated cotton bedding (colours/patterns various)

Futon’s are where men go when they’re in the shit with missus.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"We have the ‘Forty Winks Super Deluxe mk2’ bed manufactured by the Sir Robert’s Small Arms and Bed Company in 1923.

You guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two

One hasn't been slept in yet

The other is shared by me, the other half and the dog

The dog loves his beds, he has 2 dog beds and a bean bag too

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Futon’s are where men go when they’re in the shit with missus."

Ours is principally a location for house guests to be banished to if they have the audacity to wish to remain in our company overnight

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a double bed...I love spreading out! Maybe if I end up getting a bed with someone else one day in the future, I'd want a bigger bed as I love my space but occasionally would want cuddles

And I am very naughty and love snacking in bed

Are you a snacker in bed OP? "

I occasionally have a fish finger sandwich on a Saturday morning, that’s not a Euphemism. What’s your snack of choice ?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

We have 4 double beds but only really use one or two unless people stay over. One got broke a while back amd we had a million offers to repair it, thanks, but it’s still sat there broken at 45 degrees , we’re refusing to repair or replace it and still savour the moment it broke.

We like strong metal frames with quality welds or thick dark reclaimed wood like oak or mahogany, or just a mattress on an oak floor, just the right amount of spring and no risk of breaking.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have the ‘Forty Winks Super Deluxe mk2’ bed manufactured by the Sir Robert’s Small Arms and Bed Company in 1923.

This is incredibly detailed, your bed sounds nearly as good as those racing car beds you can get.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well...since I moved into this flat this time last year I've had a day bed, with a curly metal frame which in theory would be great to be tied to but in practise who knows as it has been lockdown since 1852.

The mattress is rock hard and I frequently prefer to fall asleep on the sofa which at least feels like it might have some springs in it.

And then wake up at 2am with my feet hanging off the end.

Not ideal

Love those curly metal frame beds, women often put fairy lights around them, well some women I know do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have two

One hasn't been slept in yet

The other is shared by me, the other half and the dog

The dog loves his beds, he has 2 dog beds and a bean bag too

Your dog is living the dream.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have 4 double beds but only really use one or two unless people stay over. One got broke a while back amd we had a million offers to repair it, thanks, but it’s still sat there broken at 45 degrees , we’re refusing to repair or replace it and still savour the moment it broke.

We like strong metal frames with quality welds or thick dark reclaimed wood like oak or mahogany, or just a mattress on an oak floor, just the right amount of spring and no risk of breaking. "

There’s no risk of anyone going through that!

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"I have a double bed...I love spreading out! Maybe if I end up getting a bed with someone else one day in the future, I'd want a bigger bed as I love my space but occasionally would want cuddles

And I am very naughty and love snacking in bed

Are you a snacker in bed OP?

I occasionally have a fish finger sandwich on a Saturday morning, that’s not a Euphemism. What’s your snack of choice ?"

Ohhh I don't know how I feel about a fish finger sandwich

Right now for a snack I'd love a really oozy cheese toastie...can you sort this for me please?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I had brunch in bed this morning

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

"I had brunch in bed this morning

Pervert

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a double bed...I love spreading out! Maybe if I end up getting a bed with someone else one day in the future, I'd want a bigger bed as I love my space but occasionally would want cuddles

And I am very naughty and love snacking in bed

Are you a snacker in bed OP?

I occasionally have a fish finger sandwich on a Saturday morning, that’s not a Euphemism. What’s your snack of choice ?

Ohhh I don't know how I feel about a fish finger sandwich

Right now for a snack I'd love a really oozy cheese toastie...can you sort this for me please?

I have a wide range of assorted cheeses, what type we talking here ?

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

What are your thoughts on hammocks?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I had brunch in bed this morning

Pervert

Bite me

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

"I had brunch in bed this morning

Pervert

Bite me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What are your thoughts on hammocks?

They’re incredibly for chilling out and vibing, but mostly doing proper fuck all in. What do you think of hammocks, you’re considering getting one aren’t you ?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had brunch in bed this morning

Nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a divan, a fancy bed with drawers in the bottom. I hoard hot water bottles and purple blanket in there. Though purple blanket is on the bed now because it is so cold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"What are your thoughts on hammocks?

They are great for wild camping in forests , you stay much warmer off the ground don’t need a downmat. Very comfy

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"I have a double bed...I love spreading out! Maybe if I end up getting a bed with someone else one day in the future, I'd want a bigger bed as I love my space but occasionally would want cuddles

And I am very naughty and love snacking in bed

Are you a snacker in bed OP?

I occasionally have a fish finger sandwich on a Saturday morning, that’s not a Euphemism. What’s your snack of choice ?

Ohhh I don't know how I feel about a fish finger sandwich

Right now for a snack I'd love a really oozy cheese toastie...can you sort this for me please?

I have a wide range of assorted cheeses, what type we talking here ?"

Ohh can I please be cheeky and have a mix?

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We have a lovely big comfy king size bed with a nice big velvet headboard.Only problem we have is our headboard is quite loose and bangs against wall so have had to put a cushion in between the headboard and wall to stifle the bangs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a divan, a fancy bed with drawers in the bottom. I hoard hot water bottles and purple blanket in there. Though purple blanket is on the bed now because it is so cold.

Those drawers are very handy for hiding plates in when you’ve finished eating in bed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

My memory foam mattress has forgotten who I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want a new bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

My memory foam mattress has forgotten who I am

Hahaha..... Love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We have a lovely big comfy king size bed with a nice big velvet headboard.Only problem we have is our headboard is quite loose and bangs against wall so have had to put a cushion in between the headboard and wall to stifle the bangs

Always thinking

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

Stop making up words, you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I share someone else’s please?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No

Can I share someone else’s please?

Are you sleeping on the futon ?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

Stop making up words, you!"

Accept me for who I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

Can I share someone else’s please?

Are you sleeping on the futon ?"

Nope. On that pile of fricking rocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

I love that word and I shall be chanting it like a mantra as I get into bed tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

Can I share someone else’s please?

Are you sleeping on the futon ?

Nope. On that pile of fricking rocks

Load of room in mine....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

Can I share someone else’s please?

Are you sleeping on the futon ?

Nope. On that pile of fricking rocks

Load of room in mine....

Is it warm and snuggly?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

I love that word and I shall be chanting it like a mantra as I get into bed tonight

Ta very much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

Can I share someone else’s please?

Are you sleeping on the futon ?

Nope. On that pile of fricking rocks

Load of room in mine....

Is it warm and snuggly?

Absolutely...memory foam built in and I use fleece blankets as opposed to duvets...

The drawback is that it's soooo difficult to get up in the morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do love being in bed. Im not so keen on my actual bed its a bit old and knackered although it does stop me having to sleep on the floor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

I love that word and I shall be chanting it like a mantra as I get into bed tonight

Ta very much

Would you care to chant it next to me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love being in bed. Im not so keen on my actual bed its a bit old and knackered although it does stop me having to sleep on the floor. "

Try mine, just to see if it's something you'd consider when upgrading...

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

I love that word and I shall be chanting it like a mantra as I get into bed tonight

Ta very much

Would you care to chant it next to me?

Ohh I’ll have a good chant don’t you worry about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love being in bed. Im not so keen on my actual bed its a bit old and knackered although it does stop me having to sleep on the floor.

Try mine, just to see if it's something you'd consider when upgrading...

I hope this is a really big bed ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My king size is super comfy with a memory foam mattress.

I'm currently not using a duvet but 2 very large fleece blankets.

Really cosy and soft

That’s sounds mega comforlicious (made up word)

I love that word and I shall be chanting it like a mantra as I get into bed tonight

Ta very much

Would you care to chant it next to me?

Ohh I’ll have a good chant don’t you worry about that

Awesome!!! Nice one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love being in bed. Im not so keen on my actual bed its a bit old and knackered although it does stop me having to sleep on the floor.

Try mine, just to see if it's something you'd consider when upgrading...

I hope this is a really big bed ...."

Yes it is...and you only hong over the edge when you choose to ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love being in bed. Im not so keen on my actual bed its a bit old and knackered although it does stop me having to sleep on the floor.

Try mine, just to see if it's something you'd consider when upgrading...

I hope this is a really big bed ....

Yes it is...and you only hong over the edge when you choose to ...

Is this an on my back, head off the bed, deep throat fuck kinda thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love being in bed. Im not so keen on my actual bed its a bit old and knackered although it does stop me having to sleep on the floor.

Try mine, just to see if it's something you'd consider when upgrading...

I hope this is a really big bed ....

Yes it is...and you only hong over the edge when you choose to ...

Is this an on my back, head off the bed, deep throat fuck kinda thing?

Absolutely....with full on nipple play as I've got long arms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a bed.

They take up too much room.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Love bed, been in it since 8 o’clock and always have breakfast in bed

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