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Little johnny

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By *ottsguy44 OP   Man
over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Teacher: "Can anyone give me a sentence that uses the word contagious?"

Johnny: "Yeah, miss....me and me dad was in the garden yesterday and the neighbour was painting the fence wiv a teeny laal 1 inch paint brush.....Dad said "fucking hell son, it'll take that cunt ages to do the whole fucking fence"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/07/12 18:01:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Teacher: "Can anyone give me a sentence that uses the word contagious?"

Johnny: "Yeah, miss....me and me dad was in the garden yesterday and the neighbour was painting the fence wiv a teeny laal 1 inch paint brush.....Dad said "fucking hell son, it'll take that cunt ages to do the whole fucking fence" "

beat me to it lol xxxx

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"Teacher: "Can anyone give me a sentence that uses the word contagious?"

Johnny: "Yeah, miss....me and me dad was in the garden yesterday and the neighbour was painting the fence wiv a teeny laal 1 inch paint brush.....Dad said "fucking hell son, it'll take that cunt ages to do the whole fucking fence" beat me to it lol xxxx"

Lotsa time on me hands at the moment

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1.. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead...

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