FabSwingers.com forum: Things your Dad used to say to you

By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

I’ll wipe that smile off your face in a minute if you carry on

Don’t go down there cause the galosher man will get you

What other pearls of wisdom were passed down to you as a child?

Love and Peace

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

More my mum used to say if I was crying I give u something to cry for in mo

I'll knock u into next week

If I asked what's for dinner was shit with sugar x

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Ask your mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"come here you little cunt"

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"More my mum used to say if I was crying I give u something to cry for in mo

I'll knock u into next week

If I asked what's for dinner was shit with sugar x"

I had shit with sugar a few times

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

""come here you little cunt" "

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Ask your mum "

She was worse

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

Don’t go near the brook cause Ginny Green Teeth will get you.

Who the fucks Ginny Green Teeth??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I watch RTL to learn German

(Real story, I loved RTL on a Saturday night when sky first came out

)

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"More my mum used to say if I was crying I give u something to cry for in mo

I'll knock u into next week

If I asked what's for dinner was shit with sugar x"
or shit with hair on x

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

If you fall off that and break your legs then don’t come running to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

get the first punch in son.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"If you fall off that and break your legs then don’t come running to me

I said this to my kids to x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit there and no messing about and I’ll be out in a minute with a and crisps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coke

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By *stroboy78Man
over a year ago

Abergavenny

"Can't educate pork"

Only ever heard him say it and one day out of the blue a mate said it. I burst into tears as I can just hear him saying it hahaha, its insane how little things like that can stop you dead in your tracks lol.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

You berk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's about as much use as a turd in a teapot.

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

I’m phoning the Priest on you

WTF

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pull my finger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m phoning the Priest on you

WTF

I command you leave this place

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

"Pull my finger "

Did you have the same Dad?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always practice on the ugly great full ones, then you will appreciate the one you marry.

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

Byther blood hells flames. I still have no idea what this even meant

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Fuck off you little cunt!!!"

AHH the memories of a happy childhood

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

" you'll never amount to anything you dunderhead"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes Son its worth the satisfaction...

Better to own the worst house on the best estate than the best house on the worst...

One piece of advice I used to say to my Son regarding his constant bad choice of girlfriends was...

A bit less B&M but a lot more M&S

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

On the same vein.

I'm always saying to the Mrs when she gets a bit chavvy.

"You can take the woman out of Feltham but you can never take Feltham out of the woman"

*Feltham is a really scummy nasty town in South west London not far from Hounslow*

#shit

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

To which her reply is

"Yeah well you come from Hayes you can hardly talk!"

*Hayes is even worse than Feltham*

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

"If you fall off that and break your legs then don’t come running to me

had that one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only words I remember my father has ever said to me was one time he was in my Nans and I saw a cd for the first time (it was his). I was holding it to the sun and watching all the rainbow light reflect around the kitchen and he came in and said “don’t put your mucky fingers on that” I was 6 years old!

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Always remember my dad saying to me if anybody hits you hit them back only harder oh and the bigger they are the harder they fall, think I was only going to school lol

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

Turn that bloody telly down, I can’t hear myself think in hear noisy bugger

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

In my teens I used to take part in motorbike competitions, but wasn't very good.

Dad once said to me, "At least you're consistent. Consistently crap, but consistent."

Another pearl of his wisdom was, "You're as much use as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never drink in a pub with a flat roof

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"If you fall off that and break your legs then don’t come running to me

had that one lol"

A classic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the wind changes your face will stay like that.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Literally nothing. No idea who he was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say that again and I’ll knock your block off.

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Literally nothing. No idea who he was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I wanted your view I’d have given it to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You better Simmer Down !!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

My Dad was lovely to me. He was a bit juvenile and he focused on his girlfriends a bit too much, but I don't think he's ever said anything horrible to me in my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are going to sit there to you eat everything.

But that was to my Brother he was a Brat. I was a perfect child.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You two stop fighting! I've had too much fighting in my life ! Arthur used to throw the scrubbing brush at Joss and your mother was always fighting with me.

I've a good mind to put the pair of you in a home! If you don't stop fighting I will ! I just want some peace in me life.

Awwwwwwwwwww he was a lovely man ( truly ) Parents eh ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"On the same vein.

I'm always saying to the Mrs when she gets a bit chavvy.

"You can take the woman out of Feltham but you can never take Feltham out of the woman"

*Feltham is a really scummy nasty town in South west London not far from Hounslow*

#shit "

I like Feltham. I only ever do fleeting visits though.

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By *exy penWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Switch the lights off it's like Blackpool illumination in this house lol

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Switch the lights off it's like Blackpool illumination in this house lol "

bleedin' Blackpool lights.........

Don't forget the bleedin'

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By *adHatter_RestrainedAliceCouple
over a year ago

In The Hills

When you ask him if he is alright his answer every time without fail 'No I'm half left'

What's for tea 'stewed bricks and buttered planks'

Alice x

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Can’t kid a kidder

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By *ohnjo24Man
over a year ago

swansea

Only bit of sexual advice my father ever gave me was,hope she's got French knickers on because you can get your hand up them,your cock up them and if you're lucky your head up them.

Other than that he always told me if I came home from the swimming pool drownd he'd kill me.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Never drink in a pub with a flat roof"

You know that's strangely logical, now I think about it every pub I've ever known with a flat roof has been a proper shit hole and there is always

A fight going on.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"On the same vein.

I'm always saying to the Mrs when she gets a bit chavvy.

"You can take the woman out of Feltham but you can never take Feltham out of the woman"

*Feltham is a really scummy nasty town in South west London not far from Hounslow*

#shit

I like Feltham. I only ever do fleeting visits though."

You must be in a very select club membership 1.

Lol

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By *oeBiggs321Man
over a year ago

Reading

Me: how long will dinner be

Dad : about 4 inches

Cheers dad

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

"Turn that music down!!!" as I played AC/DC or other rock band on my record player!

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By *ex Holes OP Man
over a year ago

Up North

You’ll be smiling on the other side of your face in a minute

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"I’ll wipe that smile off your face in a minute if you carry on

Don’t go down there cause the galosher man will get you

What other pearls of wisdom were passed down to you as a child?

Love and Peace

when i really hurt my foot "would you like me to stamp on the other one ?"

its ok he told me id just sprained my wrist when i had broken it when i was 14

and relatively recently i broke my foot and he said he didnt have time to 'fit me in' to take me to the hospital...

thanks Dad

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