FabSwingers.com forum: Follow me for more relationship advice

By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...

When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.

Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I don't think that I'll be any use on here, that's why I've been single for the past 8 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

When a woman says "fine", that is exactly what she means. There is no subtext to worry about at all.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

When a man tries to tell you you're overreacting about something, don't speak, just shuffle off like the good little wifey you are, utter the words "I'm gonna sort the laundry"

Little does he know, the laundry you're sorting is his, and placing it in the bin bags it belongs. Just before tying the handles, make sure to crimp a turd in it.

You can show him you're big strong muscles too, by carrying it out to the pavement for him

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

"I don't think that I'll be any use on here, that's why I've been single for the past 8 years

You sure? You’re well verified must know something worthy

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

"When a man tries to tell you you're overreacting about something, don't speak, just shuffle off like the good little wifey you are, utter the words "I'm gonna sort the laundry"

Little does he know, the laundry you're sorting is his, and placing it in the bin bags it belongs. Just before tying the handles, make sure to crimp a turd in it.

You can show him you're big strong muscles too, by carrying it out to the pavement for him "

Awesome ! Well played! Hopefully no offence was caused i posted purely for fun !

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"When a man tries to tell you you're overreacting about something, don't speak, just shuffle off like the good little wifey you are, utter the words "I'm gonna sort the laundry"

Little does he know, the laundry you're sorting is his, and placing it in the bin bags it belongs. Just before tying the handles, make sure to crimp a turd in it.

You can show him you're big strong muscles too, by carrying it out to the pavement for him

Awesome ! Well played! Hopefully no offence was caused i posted purely for fun !

You'd know if I was offended

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

When something has gone wrong, and you are in the middle of a shit storm - always think of how other people feel. For example, if you realise your partner was the cause, make sure they feel involved by taking time out from fixing the issue to discuss what they did wrong, the impacts it now has and how long it will take to fix.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.

(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her

)

You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.

(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true)

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

"When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.

(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her

)

You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.

(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true)"

How high shall I jump peach ?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.

(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her

)

You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.

(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true)"

No money exchanged hands or even cake bribes.

My hands are clean!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

When you are getting to know someone and think it could be going somewhere, stay in the friendship zone for a little bit. There's no rush to get into a relationship, and they may have hotter friends.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

When your fwb texts "you good" night, text back "she's sleeping bruv" and turn the phone off.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'll hit you with something serious.

When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.

If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I don't think that I'll be any use on here, that's why I've been single for the past 8 years

You sure? You’re well verified must know something worthy "

Yeah sure I can chat utter gibberish, but is that what most ladies on here want?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I'll hit you with something serious.

When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.

If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?

I told you she was wise *nods*

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By *ambozaMan
over a year ago

kilburn park

Use drugs and alcohol to avoid confrontation and meaningful communication at all times.... when the occasional lucid moment occurs when in the presence of ones partner confabulate and distract from the obvious evidence that you are profoundly unhappy.... repeat until a major crisis of a spiritual,emotional,physical or financial sends you off to the airport to take a get a bit of space.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Plus the fact that l'm a 58 year old bisexual smoker (

)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Toothbrushes make great bog bowl cleaners, get right up into the bits your normal big brush can't reach.

Just make sure you put a smidge of toothpaste on it after to hide the added extras.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Plus the fact that l'm a 58 year old bisexual smoker (

I read that as biscuit smoker.

There is a chance I may have just realised my glasses need cleaning

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Just because you may not understand *why* your partner feels the way they do, accept that that is how they feel. Don't be telling them what they should or shouldn't be feeling.

Try to understand, be someone they want to share with in even their darkest days, rather than making them feel ashamed of feeling certain things.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Plus the fact that l'm a 58 year old bisexual smoker (

)

I read that as biscuit smoker.

There is a chance I may have just realised my glasses need cleaning

Well them bourbons are addictive!

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

"I'll hit you with something serious.

When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.

If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?

serious comment

If your eagerness to unburden your guilt made you tell them and make their last hours misery, were you thinking of them or yourself?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Plus the fact that l'm a 58 year old bisexual smoker (

)

I read that as biscuit smoker.

There is a chance I may have just realised my glasses need cleaning

Well them bourbons are addictive!"

They are!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I'll hit you with something serious.

When faced with a decision that you know might hurt your partner think of this.

If they died before you, could you carry their coffin with pride in your heart knowing you did the right thing by them or would guilt consume you?

serious comment

If your eagerness to unburden your guilt made you tell them and make their last hours misery, were you thinking of them or yourself?

I wasn't meaning to tell them, I was meaning not to take the hurty temptation route in the first place. That way you've nothing to feel bad for

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

When she says she wants to talk, please do so only if you are going to be completely honest and accept all blame, even if you are not sure what you are charged with.

When she says she doesn't want to talk, she obviously does but only about how shit you've been to her. You can evade prosecution but will face much stricter punishment that you will readily accept.

If she's unsure about something, it's always an invitation for you to decide for her. You must give her much more than she could dream of. Then let her decide what to do.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If your man is watching an important sporting event its a very good time to ask him for a serious chat. He is sure to turn the TV off and give you his full attention. Likewise if he's in the pub with his mates keep texting asking when he'll be back and what he's doing. Remind him that he shouldn't be drinking too much as well. It shows him you care

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If your partner seems to have gone off sex ask everyone but them what the problem is and how you can fix it.

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

If your partner is feeling body conscious about their weight make sure you don't draw attention to it. When they are naked always look away at something else and keep your eyes off them at all times. If asked your opinion You can look and smile at their face (don't get drawn) but make sure you obviously turn your head to avoid seeing anything else. Offer to turn the light off it gets too difficult. This is the sign of a sensitive partner.

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

If your partner is suffering from low self-esteem or depression, don't talk to them, just buy increasing numbers of self-help books and leave them around the house. Base your selections on how bright the covers are, the quality of the paper and the number of reality TV star endorsements it has.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When your fwb texts "you good" night, text back "she's sleeping bruv" and turn the phone off."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve learnt so much reading these

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a woman says do what you want. It definately means exactly that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not ok to remind the husband to do the DIY, every single weekend. Let him relax and watch the footy with a beer, ffs!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

The best way to make someone fall in love with you? Send them a hundred odd messages a day, whether they reply or not. The dedication and effort you've put in will have them swooning at your feet in no time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's important to keep your cool, otherwise the following scenario may happen.

Mrs - If I tell you something will you promise not to kick off?

Mr - Of course darling, what is it?

Mrs - You have to promise though cos it's bad.

Mr - Sure sweetheart

Mrs - Cos if I tell you this it'll set you off cos I know what you're like.

Mr (getting annoyed now) - what is it!!??

Mrs - Do you promise though?

Mr - Just fucking tell me!!!!!

Mrs - See, that's why I can't tell you anything!

Mrs storms out of room.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women, when you buy your 50th handbag or pair of shoes, let your partner know how much money you’ve spent from the rainy days account.

They’ll be pleased you’re making an effort to look good for them.

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

"Women, when you buy your 50th handbag or pair of shoes, let your partner know how much money you’ve spent from the rainy days account.

They’ll be pleased you’re making an effort to look good for them."

To be fair I’d accept that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men - It's always best to leave your Xmas shopping till the last possible minute. You are guaranteed to get the best offers, if there's anything left

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

When asked to give an opinion on an item of clothing, don't just rush in in panic with the first thing you think they want to hear

Take your time. Look really closely at the garment. The decision will have been made long before you see it and this is just a test.

Make sure your face expresses the whole range of possible emotions (hints for faces:guys - imagine the concentration of getting your dick in at an awkward angle or starting a heavy dump, women - retrieving a lost tampon should cover most situations).

Once the face is set, forget the overall garment - look closely again. A sensitive partner will look for the detail. Strained seams and buttons? flesh overhang? colour highlighting skin flare up? these show you are really paying attention.

Finally, consider your surroundings - outside a changing room with an audience? Show your sensitivity by loudly and continuously repeating all the points we picked up, judiciously throwing in some faces and long pauses. Bring the audience in to offer or confirm your opinion. Make your SO really feel the attention!

Your path to a sensitive partner has truly begun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...

When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.

Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get. "

I hope you wear a cricket box in your boxers OP with this kind of advice. Or maybe you have a kink for CBT!

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By *essica FlabbitWoman
over a year ago

west midlands/shropshire

"When your fwb texts "you good" night, text back "she's sleeping bruv" and turn the phone off."

So using that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget ladies that the man is always right and you are always wrong.

And if you fight, argue, throw things and scream at each other it just means your relationship is full of passion!!

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

"So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...

When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.

Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get.

I hope you wear a cricket box in your boxers OP with this kind of advice. Or maybe you have a kink for CBT!

Undecided let’s find out. If it’s not for me I’m sure we can find something else to try

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By *essica FlabbitWoman
over a year ago

west midlands/shropshire

Just because I'm cheating on you doesn't mean you should cheat on me...

Be a leader not a follower

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight all night long

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

The best way to get most men to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old or incapable of doing it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Men - It's always best to leave your Xmas shopping till the last possible minute. You are guaranteed to get the best offers, if there's anything left

A friend of mine works on a perfume counter in a big city. At 4pm on Christmas eve men will part with ludicrous amounts of money

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"When Princess Peach says something, she's usually right.

(She told me to say that and I'm not arguing with her

)

You might not be in a relationship with her, you might never meet her. But it's sensible to trust me when I say it's important to know it.

(She didn't really tell me to say it. But it is still true)

How high shall I jump peach ? "

Trust me..with Peach you won't need to jump that high at all..in fact a skip would probably be enough to clear her head

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

Real men make your knickers wet not your eyes.

Always apologise for the nasty, sarcastic, hurtful, accurate things you've said

Don't have relationship problems with somebody you're not in a relationship with.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

If your having problems in your relationship don’t bother trying to fix it join fab or online dating..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unchain them from the kitchen sink at least once a day so they can go for a pee. This worked wonders for my relationship plus I wasn’t walking in crap everyday

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"So my first Pearl of wisdom is this...

When a woman is really angry, like bat shit wants to kick you right in the ball sac angry. Remind her she is overreacting she will instantly realise that you’re correct and instantly calm down.

Feel free to add your own men, women and trans people of fab! Some of us need all the help we can get. "

Thanks for the tip

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Unchain them from the kitchen sink at least once a day so they can go for a pee. This worked wonders for my relationship plus I wasn’t walking in crap everyday

My partner is excited about having a new sink fitted... talk about turkeys voting for Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the Mrs is watching the soaps it's a golden ticket to talk crap and distract her

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Birthdays & anniversaries don’t really matter that much. Just enjoy your 10th pint and don’t check your voice mail

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"When the Mrs is watching the soaps it's a golden ticket to talk crap and distract her

"
they love telling you who the characters are and other shows they've been in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no such thing as too many cushions and scented candles.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

When your wife is driving constantly point out where she can improve and what you think she's doing wrong. When she's reversing into a space suck your breath in at every opportunity as a useful warning, shout "left hand down a bit" and tell her you could have got a tank in there in one go. Women appreciate the opportunity to improve and she will be so grateful that she'll allow you to drive everywhere in future.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There's no such thing as too many cushions and scented candles."

That should be included in the wedding vows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's no such thing as too many cushions and scented candles.

That should be included in the wedding vows

Most definitely

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"When your wife is driving constantly point out where she can improve and what you think she's doing wrong. When she's reversing into a space suck your breath in at every opportunity as a useful warning, shout "left hand down a bit" and tell her you could have got a tank in there in one go. Women appreciate the opportunity to improve and she will be so grateful that she'll allow you to drive everywhere in future. "

Before the age of Sat Nav - women were also exceptional map readers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your wife walks in the room and goes

"Ta da! What do you think?"

Instead of sitting thinking, always guess 'hair'

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"When your wife walks in the room and goes

"Ta da! What do you think?"

Instead of sitting thinking, always guess 'hair'

“Looks lovely darlin”

Covers all bases

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men, when going for a night out and your Mrs tells you to "please enjoy yourself for once", don't go too overboard or you'll be told to "calm down ya tossa you're embarrassing me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men, when walking home after a night out and it's cold, the main purpose of your coat is to keep your Mrs warm whilst you freeze to death, even though you had the brains to bring one with you.

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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago

Midlands

When your wife gets to the front door and says, "shit I forgot to get my car keys" what she means is "run and get my car keys" regardless of whether you've just made her breakfast and packed lunch and held her coat up for her to put it on and asked if she needs help with her bags and are standing at the front door holding it open for her already, and you'd actually have to walk PAST her to get to the car keys that are in the room behind her..

Consequently, if you didn't immediately hear the hidden instruction because the cat had just run upstairs where he's not allowed to go and you're trying to get him to come down with words and hissed threats, she's perfectly entitled to announce to whoever can hear, "he didn't even take my hint!" storm back to get her own keys then drive off in a huff without even looking back as if you've just shit on her porridge

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

"There's no such thing as too many cushions and scented candles."

Woooahhhhhh let’s not get will here! 3 cushions per sofa and one scented candle is always enough

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By *dventurous fella OP Man
over a year ago

where

"When your wife gets to the front door and says, "shit I forgot to get my car keys" what she means is "run and get my car keys" regardless of whether you've just made her breakfast and packed lunch and held her coat up for her to put it on and asked if she needs help with her bags and are standing at the front door holding it open for her already, and you'd actually have to walk PAST her to get to the car keys that are in the room behind her..

Rough morning was it ! Eek

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By *hatty GuyMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Rough morning was it ! Eek "

Oh yeh, I'm not bitter about it

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