FabSwingers.com forum: I'm not ashamed

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a past. I have problems and issues I'm dealing with, some I'm pretty open about and others not so much. That's my choice but no matter what, what I am is a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that and neither should anyone else be.

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have the brain power to write anything...

All energy spent on trying to block out pain...

But

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't have the brain power to write anything...

All energy spent on trying to block out pain...

But

Oh bless you darling

I really hope the pain buggers off soon. You get eating that icecream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are all survivors in our own way.

Sending a hug

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm a survivor.

I was told that I wouldn't make 25, I was too broken.

Today I've proven them wrong for ten years. They were so wrong and how dare they tell that to a child.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We are all survivors in our own way.

Sending a hug

Exactly that

back at ya xx

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Survivor of domestic abuse at the hands of my father and abuse and non consentual sex by my ex husband. These things have shaped my life I cannot lie, but I'm a peace with those things. Earlier this year I nearly died due to an ectopic pregnancy, which I'm still awaiting scans etc to resolve. So that's a work in progress. Anybody who deams me weak or vulnerable is for the shock of their lives.

Some reckon I should hide all this, unfortunately that isn't me, bottling up resulted in a attempt as a teenager. Hiding what happened just protected the perpetrators. I'm not ashamed of who I am, in fact I'm damn well proud of myself. If my story makes you feel uncomfortable then tough shit, try living it and moving on.

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I have some shitty coping mechanisms but they serve their purposes: I've survived 100% of the shit I've been through so far.

Long may that success rate continue!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I have some shitty coping mechanisms but they serve their purposes: I've survived 100% of the shit I've been through so far.

Long may that success rate continue!"

Survival is the aim. Good job

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a survivor.

I was told that I wouldn't make 25, I was too broken.

Today I've proven them wrong for ten years. They were so wrong and how dare they tell that to a child."

I have no words but I have love and hugs

your proved them wrong and will continue to do so xx

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Sincere hugs to all those who need them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Survivor of domestic abuse at the hands of my father and abuse and non consentual sex by my ex husband. These things have shaped my life I cannot lie, but I'm a peace with those things. Earlier this year I nearly died due to an ectopic pregnancy, which I'm still awaiting scans etc to resolve. So that's a work in progress. Anybody who deams me weak or vulnerable is for the shock of their lives.

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

You a warrior! I can relate to some of your story and like you, I don't see why I should hide. It didn't work in the past, it certainly won't help now.

Big hugs always to you lovely

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have some shitty coping mechanisms but they serve their purposes: I've survived 100% of the shit I've been through so far.

Long may that success rate continue!"

Here here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a past. I have problems and issues I'm dealing with, some I'm pretty open about and others not so much. That's my choice but no matter what, what I am is a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that and neither should anyone else be.

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

What an absolutely perfectly written opening! Reading that was music to my eyes or a picture to my ears !

Sometimes you share and get judged and sometimes because of that you don’t share next time and deal or cope alone!

Great thread and perfect opening!!!!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

You a warrior! I can relate to some of your story and like you, I don't see why I should hide. It didn't work in the past, it certainly won't help now.

Big hugs always to you lovely

There's no shame in sharing your life experiences the good, the bad and the ugly. Because guess what life is a mixture of all those things. The ratios just vary from person to person. If we all stopped trying to pretend life is hunky dory all the time, I personally believe there'd be many more happy people on this planet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a survivor, to abuse and much more by my ex husband. It has shaped me, but I’m not defined by what I endured.

I am worthy of being alive, and being me x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I acknowledge that I was a victim. I acknowledge that wrongs were committed against me, both deliberately and unintentionally. I have grieved for what I have suffered and what I have lost. I went through things (note for mods/ forum rules, I'm not talking about crimes, non criminal things) that no one should have to go through, particularly at a tender age. It changed me forever.

I was a victim.

I held on for dear life. I don't even know how.

I did the work. Years, decades of work. Tore myself apart to put myself back together.

I prevailed. Eventually.

I am a survivor.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

What an absolutely perfectly written opening! Reading that was music to my eyes or a picture to my ears !

Sometimes you share and get judged and sometimes because of that you don’t share next time and deal or cope alone!

Great thread and perfect opening!!!!"

Thank you and I agree completely. I'm done being judged for who I am and no one else should be either. Thank you for your contribution

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

You a warrior! I can relate to some of your story and like you, I don't see why I should hide. It didn't work in the past, it certainly won't help now.

Big hugs always to you lovely

Always so many wise words from you. I could read your writing all day (okay, you may of just got a wet leg

) but I agree completely. This year has been shitty for all of us, it's time we talk or don't if people don't want to but know you aren't alone

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m a survivor, to abuse and much more by my ex husband. It has shaped me, but I’m not defined by what I endured.

I am worthy of being alive, and being me x "

Yes you are and you keep being you

also, have a hug xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I acknowledge that I was a victim. I acknowledge that wrongs were committed against me, both deliberately and unintentionally. I have grieved for what I have suffered and what I have lost. I went through things (note for mods/ forum rules, I'm not talking about crimes, non criminal things) that no one should have to go through, particularly at a tender age. It changed me forever.

I was a victim.

I held on for dear life. I don't even know how.

I did the work. Years, decades of work. Tore myself apart to put myself back together.

I prevailed. Eventually.

I am a survivor."

Yes you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be told 2 years ago that I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life after a back operation and today I’m still able to walk and still having a positive outlook on life knowing that any day that could all change.

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By *wentMan
over a year ago

blackpool

I have been through hell in the last 5 years. It’s hard to talk about everything that’s happened.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Don't believe anyone said that those who didn't want to share were unauthentic. Merely that those who share are not week or vulnerable, and that people shouldn't be afraid to share either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I grow up in house of physical and mentle abuse by the one person that should protect you, love you and guide you.. I left home at 16 just so I could find myself and live. Silly me ended up in a violent relationship for just over 5 years. Truth is that was a walk in the park compared to what my so called mum put through. I turned my life round met my soul mate we had 2 lovely children who were never abused. We still fill their lives full of love and laughter.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

[Removed by poster at 25/11/20 22:00:48]

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

Never hide, you wonderful brave woman. Much love to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

But there are some things that people may not what to keep private anymore. Have you thought about the healing process involved in talking about things? You may not think this is the right place for it but why not? I'm genuinely interested in your answer to this?

And if it's because it may scare off potential meets, I'm way past that one. I don't give a shite if people like me, want to meet me or anything else but if they do, this is the real me. I won't hide just because someone else thinks I should.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be told 2 years ago that I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life after a back operation and today I’m still able to walk and still having a positive outlook on life knowing that any day that could all change. "

You keep proving them wrong for as long as you can, I hope that day never comes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been through hell in the last 5 years. It’s hard to talk about everything that’s happened. "

I get that and you don't have to talk, just know you aren't alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't consider myself a victim at all but my bringing has definitely effected my adulthood, only recently I reconciled that but, I'm now happy and understanding

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Genuine tears in my eyes reading these posts.

Love and hugs to all of you. You are truly amazing people

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I have been through hell in the last 5 years. It’s hard to talk about everything that’s happened. "

Solidarity. It is hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m a survivor, to abuse and much more by my ex husband. It has shaped me, but I’m not defined by what I endured.

I am worthy of being alive, and being me x

Yes you are and you keep being you

also, have a hug xx"

Thanks lovely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your so right there sparkles beautiful lady.

Were all survivors.

Were all human and non of us are guilty fir the wrongs done to us by other people.

There was a time not so long ago I didn't think I was going to make it out of the dark place I was in.I accepted I wasn't going to make it.

I couldn't see all the beautiful colours in the world.I couldn't laugh or cry I couldn't even look at people's faces.

I was a empty scared shell that thought that the life I had was what I was dealt so I accepted I wasn't going to make it out of that dark place.

The beatings and punches raining down on me didn't hurt anymore.I was completely numb on the inside and out.

The thing i was made to do repeatedly sort of made me believe it was true.

NOW

I can see all the beautiful colours in the world and little things that didn't really matter before matter now.I notice more things.I dont stop laughing and smiling as I survived and I realise that all those things he did was him not me.I realise we have the greatest gift of all LIFE.

So I wont waste mine by reliving a nightmare.Im creating my dream instead.Yes life isnt perfect.I have my flashbacks and down moments until I snap myself out if it lol but I know now that there are beautiful people out there and life is beautiful in it's own little way if you just try and live it with a smile.

The past is the past.Today is now.Tomorrow is a blank slate for all of us not just me.

I'm still on my journey to who I was before my world was pain and dark but I'm a thousand times better than I was.

So if i can get here.The biggest weakling on the planet lol then you all can.

So if I can do it anyone can.I know some may feel they can't do it but you can believe me you can we all can

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I grow up in house of physical and mentle abuse by the one person that should protect you, love you and guide you.. I left home at 16 just so I could find myself and live. Silly me ended up in a violent relationship for just over 5 years. Truth is that was a walk in the park compared to what my so called mum put through. I turned my life round met my soul mate we had 2 lovely children who were never abused. We still fill their lives full of love and laughter.

I wish I had all the words (that's Frida's job

) but thank you for sharing and I'm sending you a hug just because

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't consider myself a victim at all but my bringing has definitely effected my adulthood, only recently I reconciled that but, I'm now happy and understanding

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Genuine tears in my eyes reading these posts.

Love and hugs to all of you. You are truly amazing people

Sorry for making you cry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more of an ongoing mess as opposed to a survivor.

And for the most part I'm ok with that x

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By *layboy1976Man
over a year ago

New Malden

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

I'm a survivor, I did tours of Afghanistan and came back, carrying some guilt that some of my brothers and sisters in arms never came back, but my biggest hurt came in my 20th year, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, and as result contemplated suicide, 24 years on I'm still here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PTSD certain sounds and smells triggers mine. It's not easy sometimes you instantly go back to horrible times. The hurt is real and you feel helpless. I sat in my car multiple times and just cried.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Been there got the t shirt too, and you weren't stupid either. It's hard to understand what love is when your upbringing isn't filled with love. Anything better than that must be love surely? So glad you've turned your life around, that I know has taken hard work and dedication. And providing your kids with the childhood you never had

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm more of an ongoing mess as opposed to a survivor.

And for the most part I'm ok with that x"

You're surviving. I see you

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By *attM73Man
over a year ago

Oldham

"We are all survivors in our own way.

Sending a hug

X"
you’ve got a lovely ass by the way

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your so right there sparkles beautiful lady.

Were all survivors.

Were all human and non of us are guilty fir the wrongs done to us by other people.

There was a time not so long ago I didn't think I was going to make it out of the dark place I was in.I accepted I wasn't going to make it.

I couldn't see all the beautiful colours in the world.I couldn't laugh or cry I couldn't even look at people's faces.

I was a empty scared shell that thought that the life I had was what I was dealt so I accepted I wasn't going to make it out of that dark place.

The beatings and punches raining down on me didn't hurt anymore.I was completely numb on the inside and out.

The thing i was made to do repeatedly sort of made me believe it was true.

NOW

The past is the past.Today is now.Tomorrow is a blank slate for all of us not just me.

I'm still on my journey to who I was before my world was pain and dark but I'm a thousand times better than I was.

So if i can get here.The biggest weakling on the planet lol then you all can.

So if I can do it anyone can.I know some may feel they can't do it but you can believe me you can we all can

Wow, I have no other words but wow. That really resonated with me. Like you I have my moments but I'm trying to make them fewer and far between. Things happen, I can't always control them but I'll try my hardest not to let it control me 24/7

Hugs to you beautiful lady

and thank you for sharing

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By *wentMan
over a year ago

blackpool

"I have been through hell in the last 5 years. It’s hard to talk about everything that’s happened.

I get that and you don't have to talk, just know you aren't alone

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm more of an ongoing mess as opposed to a survivor.

And for the most part I'm ok with that x"

And that's what matters right now

hugs for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm trying really hard to keep up, I promise I will get to everyone. I see you all but I'm not the only one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I had all the words (that's Frida's job

) but thank you for sharing and I'm sending you a hug just because

"
thank you.. I even went to her funeral. and was singing in my head ding dong the witch is dead.lol

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I'm trying really hard to keep up, I promise I will get to everyone. I see you all but I'm not the only one

I'm sure if people are anything like me, just venting the crap helps. It's not always about finding solutions. Just being able to talk freely and openly x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Me?

I'm a warrior.

I'll share not for sympathy, but to remind others they ain't alone. I hope, that in some way I can be a beacon of hope to some.

I'm not perfect, far fucking from it. I've got scars, physical and emotional, I have days when I think I'll never be the person I want to be, and then I remind myself how far I've come.

I've spent 26 of my 43 years having it drummed into me I'm worthless, useless, a nothing and a nobody. It's hard to shake that shit on a day when the demons rear their heads.

I make TERRIBLE choices in men!

So much so I've made the decision to remain alone. Some people think that's sad. I don't, not at this point in time. Right now it's empowering! I may change my mind in the future, not because I'll have been persuaded to but if I WANT to.

If someone I care for raises their voice around me I shake, I tremble, and I cower. That's what happens when you fear the ones who "love" you. People I don't know I'm different, it doesn't phase me at all, but those I have feelings for.... fuck man, brings it all back.

Yeah, I've been diagnosed with CPTSD but it doesn't define me and it sure as hell ain't gonna beat me.

I'm the last person I'd have expected to end up in an abusive relationship, it really can happen to anyone, even mofos like me. I was ashamed, I was embarrassed.

I'm not anymore. Coz what am I? A fucking warrior

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Aunty Peach, you are amazing xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
thank you that bought a tear to my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm trying really hard to keep up, I promise I will get to everyone. I see you all but I'm not the only one

I'm sure if people are anything like me, just venting the crap helps. It's not always about finding solutions. Just being able to talk freely and openly x "

I hope so, that was the point. Just so people feel like they can share without being judged. There's too much judgement around nowadays, like you said we all need to be more open and accept life isn't as peachy as we make put sometimes.

#itsgoodtotalk #itsokaynottobeokay

#metoo

Corny, yes, maybe but look how much difference they made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me?

I'm a warrior.

I'll share not for sympathy, but to remind others they ain't alone. I hope, that in some way I can be a beacon of hope to some.

I'm not perfect, far fucking from it. I've got scars, physical and emotional, I have days when I think I'll never be the person I want to be, and then I remind myself how far I've come.

I've spent 26 of my 43 years having it drummed into me I'm worthless, useless, a nothing and a nobody. It's hard to shake that shit on a day when the demons rear their heads.

I make TERRIBLE choices in men!

Yeah, I've been diagnosed with CPTSD but it doesn't define me and it sure as hell ain't gonna beat me.

I'm the last person I'd have expected to end up in an abusive relationship, it really can happen to anyone, even mofos like me. I was ashamed, I was embarrassed.

I'm not anymore. Coz what am I? A fucking warrior

"
Big hugs you are amazing xxx

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

thank you that bought a tear to my eyes. "

Hugs

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm trying really hard to keep up, I promise I will get to everyone. I see you all but I'm not the only one

I'm sure if people are anything like me, just venting the crap helps. It's not always about finding solutions. Just being able to talk freely and openly x

#itsgoodtotalk #itsokaynottobeokay

#metoo

Corny, yes, maybe but look how much difference they made. "

Yes

There's no one path.

Suffering can bring strength even when it looks like maladaptive habits

Maladaptive habits develop because we may not have other choices

We're forged in the fire.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your so right there sparkles beautiful lady.

Were all survivors.

Were all human and non of us are guilty fir the wrongs done to us by other people.

There was a time not so long ago I didn't think I was going to make it out of the dark place I was in.I accepted I wasn't going to make it.

I couldn't see all the beautiful colours in the world.I couldn't laugh or cry I couldn't even look at people's faces.

I was a empty scared shell that thought that the life I had was what I was dealt so I accepted I wasn't going to make it out of that dark place.

The beatings and punches raining down on me didn't hurt anymore.I was completely numb on the inside and out.

The thing i was made to do repeatedly sort of made me believe it was true.

NOW

The past is the past.Today is now.Tomorrow is a blank slate for all of us not just me.

I'm still on my journey to who I was before my world was pain and dark but I'm a thousand times better than I was.

So if i can get here.The biggest weakling on the planet lol then you all can.

So if I can do it anyone can.I know some may feel they can't do it but you can believe me you can we all can

Hugs to you beautiful lady

and thank you for sharing

Long hugs and smiles back at you beautiful lady.

I have a safe word for myself (MOM)

When ever I think of or go back to revisit in my head that dark place I just say (MOM) In my head.

I know I didn't care about me as that's what I was conditioned to do.Not care not say anything not think.

But I saw the pain it caused my parents when i was in hospital and I do care about them.Its love that snaps me out of it.Seeing and knowing that others do care unconditionally let's you know your never alone.Theres a tomorrow and that's love and hope as theres a future for us all.

If we believe that yesterday gone and tomorrow is a blank slate for us to live it like a new page then your in control and the smiles will come back into the new day you've built the way you want it as its your life to live and love in x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Me?

I'm a warrior.

I'll share not for sympathy, but to remind others they ain't alone. I hope, that in some way I can be a beacon of hope to some.

I'm not perfect, far fucking from it. I've got scars, physical and emotional, I have days when I think I'll never be the person I want to be, and then I remind myself how far I've come.

I've spent 26 of my 43 years having it drummed into me I'm worthless, useless, a nothing and a nobody. It's hard to shake that shit on a day when the demons rear their heads.

I make TERRIBLE choices in men!

Yeah, I've been diagnosed with CPTSD but it doesn't define me and it sure as hell ain't gonna beat me.

I'm the last person I'd have expected to end up in an abusive relationship, it really can happen to anyone, even mofos like me. I was ashamed, I was embarrassed.

I'm not anymore. Coz what am I? A fucking warrior

I won't ruin your amazing words with more words other than I love you

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Respect and admiration for all survivors, those who choose to share and those who choose not to.

Keep going, keep breathing.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive never seen myself as a victim. Always a survivor

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Respect and admiration for all survivors, those who choose to share and those who choose not to.

Keep going, keep breathing.

You are enough as you are.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Respect and admiration for all survivors, those who choose to share and those who choose not to.

Keep going, keep breathing.

Exactly there is no right or wrong way, it's all about surviving and moving on

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

"
Hi you are amazing yes your a surviver and you will e better for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Is it the anonymity of sharing on a platform like this that helps? And if so, how does it help?

Like it or not, maintaining no boundaries in regards to what you share on here will leave you vulnerable, as opposed to 'scaring off potential meets'.

How often on here do we see tales from ( usually) women who have been let down, hurt and damaged a wee bit more by yet another man who she claims managed to wheedle his way into her affections when she was at a low ebb and wasn't aware of the signs that could have alerted her to the fact that investing something of herself probably wouldn't be a wise idea?

That's surely at least one reason to be cautious with what you share

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By *andVCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

"We are all survivors in our own way.

Sending a hug

X you’ve got a lovely ass by the way

There's a time and a place mate and this isn't the one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Respect and admiration for all survivors, those who choose to share and those who choose not to.

Keep going, keep breathing.

Exactly this and so eloquently put

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ive never seen myself as a victim. Always a survivor"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

Hi you are amazing yes your a surviver and you will e better for it"

Thank you

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By *andVCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Guess that makes the smaller things in life insignificant now, fair play hope it continues for you.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Is it the anonymity of sharing on a platform like this that helps? And if so, how does it help?

Like it or not, maintaining no boundaries in regards to what you share on here will leave you vulnerable, as opposed to 'scaring off potential meets'.

That's surely at least one reason to be cautious with what you share"

Those women would be vulnerable regardless of if they shared or not if they were at a low ebb as their defences may be not where they normally are. Sharing experiences often helps people move on hence making them in less vulnerable. Just because it doesn't work for you or others doesn't make it an invalid method of moving on. And I'm not vulnerable how on earth would you know such a thing? Shit happens in life, happens to lots of people, you're making lots of assumptions about me. Just because you now a few titbits of information

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By *amiee89TV/TS
over a year ago

derry

I’m petrified of coming out as trans but it’s been eating me since as long as I can remember from a young age and I fell like I’ve wasted the best years of my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Is it the anonymity of sharing on a platform like this that helps? And if so, how does it help?

Like it or not, maintaining no boundaries in regards to what you share on here will leave you vulnerable, as opposed to 'scaring off potential meets'.

That's surely at least one reason to be cautious with what you share"

I do sort of agree with this, as there are many out there on fab just waiting around for the more vulnerable, but also a bit of why is it always the women who have to adapt their behaviour because of the dubious motives of the men.

We live in a fucked up world, but hopefully there will be enough people looking out for us and offering support if we do decide to share on an open platform.

Love to all. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Is it the anonymity of sharing on a platform like this that helps? And if so, how does it help?

Like it or not, maintaining no boundaries in regards to what you share on here will leave you vulnerable, as opposed to 'scaring off potential meets'.

That's surely at least one reason to be cautious with what you share"

I see what you are saying and I've been in that situation myself once upon a time but I'm no longer looking. I really hope and pray that no one who opens up on here finds themselves in that situation later down the line, the hope is that we talk more. If someone isn't sure, talk, share, ask. I wish I'd had that back then, maybe between us we can help others.

As for you asking how it helps? Well because I can share on here. I'm not shouting it from the rooftops but sometimes the hardest things are easiest to share with strangers. I've made the hard moves this year and told people close to me things i should of told them a long time ago. I've a long way to go on my journey but every step forward is a step in the right direction. The more I talk the easier it becomes to talk , cope and accept. 17 years of thinking I was at fault is not okay. Knowing I wasn't, I'm good with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some heart wrenching experiences there, how our child hood experiences shape us and sometimes lead us, unfortunately, into equally harmful but somewhat comforting surroundings is beyond me. It can take years to realise the cycle you’re stuck within.

I’ve been through some hell raising experiences as a child and later as a teenager knowing no better, I’ve learnt to build a facade and paint over it and channel my fears, thoughts, complexes and such into a fairly turbulent and risky life constantly challenging my self to succeed, no one knows other than siblings who went through the same, feel a sense of shame to tell anyone and could never talk to a councillor

On a positive note, great to see how you’re all handling it and come out with positive mindsets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.

My favorite quote you are a warrior.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Is it the anonymity of sharing on a platform like this that helps? And if so, how does it help?

Like it or not, maintaining no boundaries in regards to what you share on here will leave you vulnerable, as opposed to 'scaring off potential meets'.

That's surely at least one reason to be cautious with what you share

I haven't said you personally are vulnerable.

Are you making the assumption that I've got to this point in life without shit happening?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some heart wrenching experiences there, how our child hood experiences shape us and sometimes lead us, unfortunately, into equally harmful but somewhat comforting surroundings is beyond me. It can take years to realise the cycle you’re stuck within.

On a positive note, great to see how you’re all handling it and come out with positive mindsets

Thank you for sharing and sending you hugs

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I think it's amazing how someone us can see the pain of others without them knowing. A kind of pain and hurt only those that have been there can truly fully understand. Sometimes it's buried but you can tell it's there.

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think it's amazing how someone us can see the pain of others without them knowing. A kind of pain and hurt only those that have been there can truly fully understand. Sometimes it's buried but you can tell it's there.

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone! "

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Is it the anonymity of sharing on a platform like this that helps? And if so, how does it help?

Like it or not, maintaining no boundaries in regards to what you share on here will leave you vulnerable, as opposed to 'scaring off potential meets'.

That's surely at least one reason to be cautious with what you share

I haven't said you personally are vulnerable.

Are you making the assumption that I've got to this point in life without shit happening?"

Again no I didn't say you didn't go through any shit. In fact my words say "shit happens in life, happens to lots of people" so I'm saying it happens to everyone and if you read my comments on this thread. I've said people should do whatever it takes to make them feel better. I don't pass judgement on them.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone! "

You make perfect sense

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone! "

100% makes sense, yes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think it's about being ashamed to overshare...and it is a thing.

People can still be authentic whilst maintaining a sense of privacy.

Is it the anonymity of sharing on a platform like this that helps? And if so, how does it help?

Like it or not, maintaining no boundaries in regards to what you share on here will leave you vulnerable, as opposed to 'scaring off potential meets'.

That's surely at least one reason to be cautious with what you share

I haven't said you personally are vulnerable.

Are you making the assumption that I've got to this point in life without shit happening?"

No, I never said that. I'm not assuming anything. I answered your question to the best of my ability. That's obviously not good enough for you because you continue to pick holes in everything I write so I'm done. This thread was for help and support, not arguments or not picking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone! "

It makes full sense to me.My old therapist said very similar words and those words do help you see where you were and the way you should go within yourself x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone! "

I get ya!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone! "

And this can also be why we fall in love with men that are ultimately terrible for us, as the first look in their eyes we see the same pain looking back at us and we are lost in wanting to help.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone!

And this can also be why we fall in love with men that are ultimately terrible for us, as the first look in their eyes we see the same pain looking back at us and we are lost in wanting to help. "

Ooh that hit right in the feels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck where do I start.

Erm

Abused when younger.

3 failed suicide attempts.

Type 1 diabetes.

Mental health problems all my life.

My Mum has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

My Dad had a stroke last year, one of his heart valves operates at 20% effectiveness.

My Sister lives in Canada and my 2yr old niece has a brain tumor that's grown these last 6 months and they need to operate and she might lose mobility.

We can't go over there cos of Covid and travel restrictions/quarantine etc.

I need to cuddle my Sister and my niece and I can't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step."

Well done x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fuck where do I start.

Erm

Abused when younger.

3 failed suicide attempts.

Type 1 diabetes.

Mental health problems all my life.

My Mum has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

My Dad had a stroke last year, one of his heart valves operates at 20% effectiveness.

My Sister lives in Canada and my 2yr old niece has a brain tumor that's grown these last 6 months and they need to operate and she might lose mobility.

We can't go over there cos of Covid and travel restrictions/quarantine etc.

I need to cuddle my Sister and my niece and I can't.

* A big hug for my friend *

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone!

And this can also be why we fall in love with men that are ultimately terrible for us, as the first look in their eyes we see the same pain looking back at us and we are lost in wanting to help.

Ooh that hit right in the feels"

Snap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't said you personally are vulnerable.

Are you making the assumption that I've got to this point in life without shit happening?

If you read back you'll see those comments were in response to another post. I'm not arguing or nit picking, I'm asking questions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step.

Well done x"

Thank you.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I was so ashamed of something that a close relative done that I had to move away from my home town, my job, my friends and my family. I could start again and be who I wanted to be, lie about my past. I wish I hadn't, it wasn't a healthy thing to do and put my mental health back a bit. I should of dealt with it, with the people who knew me. But.....what's done is done, I still have bad days but in the main I'm good. I won't call myself a survivor, I'm not sure how to phrase it tbh but, hell, I'm me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fuck where do I start.

Erm

Abused when younger.

3 failed suicide attempts.

Type 1 diabetes.

Mental health problems all my life.

My Mum has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

My Dad had a stroke last year, one of his heart valves operates at 20% effectiveness.

My Sister lives in Canada and my 2yr old niece has a brain tumor that's grown these last 6 months and they need to operate and she might lose mobility.

We can't go over there cos of Covid and travel restrictions/quarantine etc.

I need to cuddle my Sister and my niece and I can't.

I'm so sorry

sending you huge hugs and strength and love

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/x9hZFyoqp7Q

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step."

I've been in that trap, to a degree, I'm still there. I want to say it gets easier, I'm still finding my way bit there's light at the end of that very long tunnel. Well done for taking that first step, it's one of the hardest

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step."

Baby steps, Rome wasn't built in a day. Just the process of writing it down instead of keeping it all in your head can help lots

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was so ashamed of something that a close relative done that I had to move away from my home town, my job, my friends and my family. I could start again and be who I wanted to be, lie about my past. I wish I hadn't, it wasn't a healthy thing to do and put my mental health back a bit. I should of dealt with it, with the people who knew me. But.....what's done is done, I still have bad days but in the main I'm good. I won't call myself a survivor, I'm not sure how to phrase it tbh but, hell, I'm me

You are and that's what matters

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I am Teflon

I am Kevlar

I am rhinoceros hide

I have more layers than an onion

I have a depth of strength that goes down to the Mariana Trench

I'm also breakable. I crack. I bend. I droop. I start to drown. But, so far anyway, I've always managed to get the Polyfilla out, ironed out the creases, poured some fuel on the furnace and kept my head above water.

But one day I worry I'll sink like a stone and won't be able to stay afloat.

S'pose I'll work out how to deal with that if/when it happens.

Be kind to others, kids. You haven't got a CLUE what's going on under the suit of armour.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I am Teflon

I am Kevlar

I am rhinoceros hide

I have more layers than an onion

I have a depth of strength that goes down to the Mariana Trench

But one day I worry I'll sink like a stone and won't be able to stay afloat.

S'pose I'll work out how to deal with that if/when it happens.

Be kind to others, kids. You haven't got a CLUE what's going on under the suit of armour."

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I am Teflon

I am Kevlar

I am rhinoceros hide

I have more layers than an onion

I have a depth of strength that goes down to the Mariana Trench

But one day I worry I'll sink like a stone and won't be able to stay afloat.

S'pose I'll work out how to deal with that if/when it happens.

Be kind to others, kids. You haven't got a CLUE what's going on under the suit of armour.

Straight back at you, my Antipodean amigo

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone!

And this can also be why we fall in love with men that are ultimately terrible for us, as the first look in their eyes we see the same pain looking back at us and we are lost in wanting to help.

Ooh that hit right in the feels

Snap "

Double snap and makes an awful lot of sense.

Definitely food for thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step.

Thank you OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

Survivor to thiver.

Here here sista.. Da dv survivor too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you.

It's why I act the fool on here.

It's a distraction from the shit life outside.

Laughter is my medicine.

Back to silliness I go

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step.

Thank you OP"

If it's any consolation, I'm incredibly proud of you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"https://youtu.be/x9hZFyoqp7Q"

That made me cry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am Teflon

I am Kevlar

I am rhinoceros hide

I have more layers than an onion

I have a depth of strength that goes down to the Mariana Trench

But one day I worry I'll sink like a stone and won't be able to stay afloat.

S'pose I'll work out how to deal with that if/when it happens.

Be kind to others, kids. You haven't got a CLUE what's going on under the suit of armour."

Love this

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step."

It took me about 17 years before I spoke about my thing. I met a woman after 4 weeks of moving to Northampton, obviously I didn't blurt it all out but after a while we started asking questions. I knew she'd ask about my family and when she did I just said it, she was so lovely, I'll never forget the big bear hug she gave me. We're still the best of friends. I guess you just know when the right time is to let go and be open about things with someone you know will listen/Not judge/run a mile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How a sentence is written, the use of certain words.

Almost like a 6th sense of kinship built from the bricks of being lost. Christ I don't even know if that will make any sense to anyone! "

I hear you x

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm ashamed. Of so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"https://youtu.be/x9hZFyoqp7Q

That made me cry

But it is poignant. Gets me thru the tough times.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm ashamed. Of so much."

Hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm ashamed. Of so much."

You are one of the best people I know. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of! You're surviving...soon you will be thriving

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm ashamed. Of so much."

I love you

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

Sending love and positivity to you all from OP all the way thru this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sadness is not competitive. Just because there are ‘others worse off’ it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel down. You don’t need to look on the bright side or be glass half full, it’s ok to want to throw the glass against the wall."

Twitter: @revkatebottley 10:51 pm · 5 May 2020

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

""Sadness is not competitive. Just because there are ‘others worse off’ it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel down. You don’t need to look on the bright side or be glass half full, it’s ok to want to throw the glass against the wall."

Twitter: @revkatebottley 10:51 pm · 5 May 2020

Amen!

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

Wear your emotional scars like badges lovely. You made it and you’re stronger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry OP didn't want to make you cry. Hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step.

I'm scared about getting close to anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Twitter: @revkatebottley 10:51 pm · 5 May 2020

this is brilliant. Thank you.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step.

I'm scared about getting close to anyone."

I definitely understand x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry OP didn't want to make you cry. Hugs"

It's okay. That song is now on my playlist

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sending love and positivity to you all from OP all the way thru this thread.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I'm ashamed. Of so much."

None of us have anything to be ashamed about, Posh. You know where our inbox is

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"I'm ashamed. Of so much."

DM me if you ever need to chat. I’m a good listener.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Thank you all

So blessed to have you in my life xx

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"I want to let it out. but I can't. I'm trapped in my inability to talk about it.

I've typed that and erased it at least ten times....here's the plunge in the first step.

I'm scared about getting close to anyone."

I understand that. But one day, when you're ready x

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Thank you.

It's why I act the fool on here.

It's a distraction from the shit life outside.

Laughter is my medicine.

Back to silliness I go

Cindi. I just love you

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Twitter: @revkatebottley 10:51 pm · 5 May 2020

In an ideal world we'd give space for those who need to talk, respect for those who don't want to or can't and show genuine kindness to all because we don't know what they are survivors of. Everyone has had their battles to some degree and even if it's just truly listening to someone, it makes a difference. I hope that we all find and have the resilience to keep carrying on and are kinder to ourselves and others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Twitter: @revkatebottley 10:51 pm · 5 May 2020

Wonderful words as always Meli and so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PTSD certain sounds and smells triggers mine. It's not easy sometimes you instantly go back to horrible times. The hurt is real and you feel helpless. I sat in my car multiple times and just cried."

I always thought PTSD was a result of being in a war or something similar.

The NHS website gives a description of symptoms/ effects.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Twitter: @revkatebottley 10:51 pm · 5 May 2020

Reading this had me tearing up. Thank you Meli it was beautiful....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PTSD certain sounds and smells triggers mine. It's not easy sometimes you instantly go back to horrible times. The hurt is real and you feel helpless. I sat in my car multiple times and just cried.

I always thought PTSD was a result of being in a war or something similar.

The NHS website gives a description of symptoms/ effects.

I am a veteran both of us are ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PTSD certain sounds and smells triggers mine. It's not easy sometimes you instantly go back to horrible times. The hurt is real and you feel helpless. I sat in my car multiple times and just cried.

I always thought PTSD was a result of being in a war or something similar.

The NHS website gives a description of symptoms/ effects.

I am a veteran both of us are ..."

Yep sorry, I know that from reading your posts, I wasn't clear. I mean I learned something. I wasn't trying to lessen what you said.

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By *abble-onMan
over a year ago

Minehead

I have survived addiction to cocaine and MDMA bought about by the loss of a very close friend when I was 17. I ended up in a dark place and was consumed by the world that drug addiction draws you into. About 7 years ago I almost ended up in prison... since then I am clear of my addictions, I've completed a diploma at triple distinction and am in my 3rd year at uni, hoping to receive a first in my BSc. The next step if all goes as planned (though that rarely happens) is to undertake a PhD!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"PTSD certain sounds and smells triggers mine. It's not easy sometimes you instantly go back to horrible times. The hurt is real and you feel helpless. I sat in my car multiple times and just cried.

I always thought PTSD was a result of being in a war or something similar.

The NHS website gives a description of symptoms/ effects.

I am a veteran both of us are ...

Yep sorry, I know that from reading your posts, I wasn't clear. I mean I learned something. I wasn't trying to lessen what you said."

Np it's hard sometimes for people to relate. I was just trying to give the OP hope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm ashamed. Of so much."

Big Hugs lovely, also be proud of how far you’ve come x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I grew up in a rough area with deaf parents. Lost my Nan very young and had no real hearing guidance, being hearing myself I never realised I needed it until my mid twenties.

It’s been a tough learning curve but the mistakes I made leading up to that epiphany left me in a world I realised I didn’t belong in.

I got myself into university after doing my gcse and a levels at the age of thirty but had to take a leave of absence when my bm tried to take her own life. I blamed myself for being so wrapped up in my studies even though we are split up. I never went back.

I’m currently maxed out on sertraline and it’s not working so I don’t know where that’s going to leave me. I will just plod on though.

I will take some strength from the inspiration I found from you OP

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I grew up in a rough area with deaf parents. Lost my Nan very young and had no real hearing guidance, being hearing myself I never realised I needed it until my mid twenties.

It’s been a tough learning curve but the mistakes I made leading up to that epiphany left me in a world I realised I didn’t belong in.

I’m currently maxed out on sertraline and it’s not working so I don’t know where that’s going to leave me. I will just plod on though.

I will take some strength from the inspiration I found from you OP"

It's never too late to study and nowadays there's so many ways to access education. Don't give up on your dreams

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By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

Currently trying to haul myself from victim to survivor. Genuinely don't even know if I'm heading in the right direction tbh! Will be reet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have survived addiction to cocaine and MDMA bought about by the loss of a very close friend when I was 17. I ended up in a dark place and was consumed by the world that drug addiction draws you into. About 7 years ago I almost ended up in prison... since then I am clear of my addictions, I've completed a diploma at triple distinction and am in my 3rd year at uni, hoping to receive a first in my BSc. The next step if all goes as planned (though that rarely happens) is to undertake a PhD! "

Bravo getting your life on track from that low! It was must taste so sweet now, your BSc.

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By *abble-onMan
over a year ago

Minehead

"Currently trying to haul myself from victim to survivor. Genuinely don't even know if I'm heading in the right direction tbh! Will be reet

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there"

Progress is progress in my eyes! I had no idea that I would end up in uni at 29, but here I am... setting small targets helps keep you focused on looking ahead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you to those who commented on my post. I very much appreciated and was much encouraged by it.

For those who have opened up here, I applaud your ability to do it and for carrying on carrying on.

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By *abble-onMan
over a year ago

Minehead

Bravo getting your life on track from that low! It was must taste so sweet now, your BSc."

Thanks, it's been and continues to be a roller coaster. Particularly with covid this year, it has totally shaken things up. The lack of socialising has hit me hard, literally going from my flat to uni and back again is taking it's toll but it's not forever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That might give you brain freeze x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My genes and my chromosomes don’t align so I’ve taken hormones and blockers. Had the hair follicles on my face, genitals and underarms burned with a laser. And Ive had surgical corrections made.

I’m a woman and I’m not ashamed of my past.

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By *xperience huntingMan
over a year ago

where

Strength and peace to all struggling with their demons

What a pair of cunts! I’ve had my won struggle hence the opinion. But good on you! #strongwoman

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By *heSassyOneWoman
over a year ago

SE Michigan

At times just stand or sit, and just breathe. You are alive , it will be ok

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By *xperience huntingMan
over a year ago

where

Only fair to share.

A very physically violent and abusive father for many years until he was sent to prison and we escaped his grasp.

I don’t feel like a survivor or a victim instead I’ve used it to my advantage. Within my job, within my life ! I’ve made sure to look back regularly to remind myself of how not to behave and treat people. Weird thing is I don’t see hownbad it was unless i tell others a detailed recount of an incident and then thier reaction tells me all I need to know.

Bad dreams and flashbacks are still present 25 years later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep writing and deleting!

Just gonna say anyone that’s got through anything should be immensely proud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/11/20 00:34:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m proud to have fought two mums and won custody of my two kids.

I survived an abusive relationship with the mother of my second child and bear the mental scars.

I suffered non consensual sex early on in my transition but didn’t feel I could speak out as my kids didn’t know I was presenting as female back then.

I’m the proud parent of two successful daughters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's refreshing how everyone goes thru different struggles and survives and prospers. There is hope in humanity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been through all sorts of different abuse by people I love(d). Mental, physical, emotional by family, strangers, partners, friends. Earliest bad memory I have is before I even started school.

I don't consider myself a survivor. I'm someone who is fighting these demons; in one way or another, almost daily. I'm proud of myself that I've kept going despite wanting to quit this life completely.

In the words of Robbie Williams "I don't wanna die, but I ain't keen on living either". This was me only a couple of years ago. Thankfully, I do want to live now and I smile a lot more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

what are you ashamed of

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

what are you ashamed of"

The title of the thread is "what you're not ashamed of"........

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By *isterSparksMan
over a year ago

Midlands

Tattooed on my arm as a reminder "Some day this wars gonna end" thankyou for sharing tales of survival. I'm still dealing with demons :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do have a past but I'm happy because it made me who I am today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keep writing and deleting!

Just gonna say anyone that’s got through anything should be immensely proud. "

Agreed

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

Whatever pain, loss, etc. everyone here has been through, you are still here, which means you have survived all of it, and I'm proud of y'all.

One day at a time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't read all the comments but I can say I'm a survivor too.

Brought up by an abuser, physical and mental in a very restrictive setting

First partner was volitile and abusive.

8 pregnancy loses one of which was ectopic and I lost my tube.

There's more I could list, the dysfunctional family, and a whole host of stories that go with it.

I don't mind talking about it to anyone. It doesn't phase me because I'm ok and know I got through it and I am where I am because I got myself there. Yes I had a little help along the way but for the most part it was me.

I didn't end up an addict or homeless or in a mental health hospital, i made the best of a bad situation and think I came out the other side OK. Anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worth the fight.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry for not replying to some, I went to bed after my last post last night. I don't want to fill the last of the thread with my comments but I have read each and every post. Thank you to everyone who posted weather you shared or couldn't for your own reasons

sending you all a big hug

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I am another who typed alot then deleted it. At least 10X.

Well done Sparkles for having the strength to do this post. And to everyone else who posted I hear you and I feel you. Just keep your head up and smile. Have hope.

Jo.Xx

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I have bad days and good days. I moan, vent, cry and laugh (contrary to popular belief, it happens)

The point of all this? The point is we are all human. We all feel something.

I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor and I'm not ashamed of that.

Feel free to share why you aren't ashamed or to just say hi, no pressure for anyone to share anything but there's no "oversharing" here. That word doesn't exist

I can’t share very well because I’m emotionally as daft as a brush, although I’m not saying all brushes are stupid, Basil has a rather sharp wit.

But, Sparkles my lovely here’s the but, you are not alone and you speak for many of us that spend our days nursing emotional wounds but don’t actually notice that as each day goes by, the wounds are a little less raw a little less swollen and although they may be a scar and they never leave you totally, you have lived through it and beaten it.

Look after yourselves you gorgeous lot.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

You're there .. you're alive ..it's cold outside but you're warm...sexy .. gorgeous ...perving guys and girls ..fire up fab ... accept compliments... delete any shit ...in the knowledge that somewhere out in fabland there are people who wish you well xxx

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

To everyone on this thread-

Your voice is important, your story matters.

It is ok to talk about what makes you you.

Thank you for sharing.

Hug of support to all.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"To everyone on this thread-

Your voice is important, your story matters.

It is ok to talk about what makes you you.

Thank you for sharing.

Hug of support to all.

Well said x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To everyone on this thread-

Your voice is important, your story matters.

It is ok to talk about what makes you you.

Thank you for sharing.

Hug of support to all.

So well said. Hugs back xx

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By *hysoseriouslyMan
over a year ago

Kent

So many posts here I want to reply too!

There aren’t enough hugs I could give (but if you all get close we might manage it!).

Such touching, heartfelt and colourful posts that can make your heart burst with pride at what we can get through. Things we can stand up to and most of all the understanding that life is a journey, not a destination (thank you Aerosmith for that one), and those journeys are often far from easy.

I’ve had my ups and downs and try to keep my head up and the world around me smiling, I have nothing that compares to you guys other than to say.

You are all winners and warriors in my eyes. Fact x

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