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My meet last week went like this...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah yeah yeah. Fucking covid. Make one up and entertain me please!

I'll start.

We met in a bar. He was French, tall, dark, good looking. We were on our second drink when they put the football on every screen with blaring sound. We were drinking faster to get outta there when he asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, our eyes locked and our faces drew closer. Mwah!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I met a lass in aisle 14 of Tesco, all of a sudden there was an announcement over the tannoy

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda "

Suppose you're gonna come knocking for child support

Fine...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He sat on the settee and I straddled him.

He looked into my eyes and his hands held my waist. I looked back into his eyes and moved closer to kiss him as I held his face softly.

His hands stroked my sides and over my thighs as we kissed passionately. I kissed his neck and nibbled his on ear slightly. I started to unbutton his shirt so I could rub his chest and tease his nipples as we kissed.

I sat back slightly and bit my bottom lip as we looked at eachother in a gaze of pure lust.

I got off him and led him by the hand to my bedroom for the most sensual passionate sex I would wish for.

We were both spent, breathing heavily and sweaty. I looked into eyes and asked "what's your name"

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda

Suppose you're gonna come knocking for child support

Fine... "

I’m willing to accept alternative payment in either pickled eggs or kind....

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"He sat on the settee and I straddled him.

He looked into my eyes and his hands held my waist. I looked back into his eyes and moved closer to kiss him as I held his face softly.

His hands stroked my sides and over my thighs as we kissed passionately. I kissed his neck and nibbled his on ear slightly. I started to unbutton his shirt so I could rub his chest and tease his nipples as we kissed.

I sat back slightly and bit my bottom lip as we looked at eachother in a gaze of pure lust.

I got off him and led him by the hand to my bedroom for the most sensual passionate sex I would wish for.

We were both spent, breathing heavily and sweaty. I looked into eyes and asked "what's your name""

‘Piers Morgan’ He spoke softly......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda "

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Did you get her number?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I met a lass in aisle 14 of Tesco, all of a sudden there was an announcement over the tannoy "

Gosh I love a supermarket romance. Had a few myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He sat on the settee and I straddled him.

He looked into my eyes and his hands held my waist. I looked back into his eyes and moved closer to kiss him as I held his face softly.

His hands stroked my sides and over my thighs as we kissed passionately. I kissed his neck and nibbled his on ear slightly. I started to unbutton his shirt so I could rub his chest and tease his nipples as we kissed.

I sat back slightly and bit my bottom lip as we looked at eachother in a gaze of pure lust.

I got off him and led him by the hand to my bedroom for the most sensual passionate sex I would wish for.

We were both spent, breathing heavily and sweaty. I looked into eyes and asked "what's your name""

Oh my. I said FAKE stories!

I've actually stopped & asked mid-coitus what someone's name is before

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Did you get her number? "

Her far left breast was a 36DD I think with a 32C on the far right....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Did you get her number?

Her far left breast was a 36DD I think with a 32C on the far right.... "

Wtf. That's MY measurements!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda

Suppose you're gonna come knocking for child support

Fine...

I’m willing to accept alternative payment in either pickled eggs or kind.... "

Cluck cluck motherfucker, I'll lay em myself

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda

Suppose you're gonna come knocking for child support

Fine...

I’m willing to accept alternative payment in either pickled eggs or kind....

Cluck cluck motherfucker, I'll lay em myself "

Do they come out pre-pickled?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I met a lass in aisle 14 of Tesco, all of a sudden there was an announcement over the tannoy

Gosh I love a supermarket romance. Had a few myself "

That was a joke obviously, but I did have some fun with a lady in a lift when I was working at Thorntons back in the 80's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to confirm, I've just made all that up, and it wasn't Piers, although he does get me fired up in the mornings when he's kicking off at the govt

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I had just destroyed the latest Death Star and was busy celebrating when a gorgeous, five breasted, purple skinned alien beauty approached me and begged me to make love to her which I of course did.

The next morning I was somewhat surprised when I gave birth to a beautiful baby Yoda

Suppose you're gonna come knocking for child support

Fine...

I’m willing to accept alternative payment in either pickled eggs or kind....

Cluck cluck motherfucker, I'll lay em myself

Do they come out pre-pickled? "

Just brown.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

We met in a pub. I had a lemonade, I didn't want to risk losing my head. I would have jumped him the moment I laid eyes on him. God he was easy on the eyes. We talked for ages, it was all going so well. I was relaxed and was managing the raging lust quite well.

Then he said something offensive.

Life's too short. I can't be arsed.

I finished my drink, went home, and arranged another meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We met in a pub. I had a lemonade, I didn't want to risk losing my head. I would have jumped him the moment I laid eyes on him. God he was easy on the eyes. We talked for ages, it was all going so well. I was relaxed and was managing the raging lust quite well.

Then he said something offensive.

Life's too short. I can't be arsed.

I finished my drink, went home, and arranged another meet."

Men aye

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"We met in a pub. I had a lemonade, I didn't want to risk losing my head. I would have jumped him the moment I laid eyes on him. God he was easy on the eyes. We talked for ages, it was all going so well. I was relaxed and was managing the raging lust quite well.

Then he said something offensive.

Life's too short. I can't be arsed.

I finished my drink, went home, and arranged another meet.

Men aye "

So much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First of all it was his profile.

Wow just wow he made me weak at the knees.

He had the most beautiful sky remote next to his sausage in his profile picture.

I messaged him and waited with great anticipation.My flutters were getting all fluttery thinking about will he respond or not and that made me more utterly flustered and fluttery like utterly buttery fluttery.

Then it happened HE MESSAGED ME BACK

His beautiful words made my foo foo feel wohoooooo

He said:Yo wana meet up darlin your the hottest on here since the last one I told was the hottest on here.

I replied.Im blushing now.Yes let's meet for intercourse like the sex type.

He said.I only do the the sexy sex wet type of intercourse not the other one with trains.

I said good.Im so glad we got that out the way as I dont like that either as I'm vegetarian.

I knew then he was for me so I sent him my address straight away and said.

Sexy type of sexual intercourse with sex involved at my house now please sky penis no face man.

He said.see you soon vedge girl bitch face.

I ran upstairs and shaved that huge blonde bushy tushy that lockdown had caused and sprayed some mr sheen in my room and under my armpits.

His big bad big bored BMW pulled on my drive and I opened the door.He greeted me with a spiff in his mouth and said yo bitch face.

I said hello it's nice to finally after 6 minutes to put a horrid face to the penis and we went straight upstairs.

I moved the cucumber off my bed and we started making intercourse with sex involved.Then he put the sky remote on vibrate.Wow just wow we had the most amazing 8 minutes of rubbing up and down on each other ever.

He left in pure sunshine and took my watch purse and egg timer?

But it was so worth it.

I will always remember him as my cutey chavy cheese chum even though he cheated and had another meet but it was worth it

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"First of all it was his profile.

Wow just wow he made me weak at the knees.

He had the most beautiful sky remote next to his sausage in his profile picture.

I messaged him and waited with great anticipation.My flutters were getting all fluttery thinking about will he respond or not and that made me more utterly flustered and fluttery like utterly buttery fluttery.

Then it happened HE MESSAGED ME BACK

His beautiful words made my foo foo feel wohoooooo

He said:Yo wana meet up darlin your the hottest on here since the last one I told was the hottest on here.

I replied.Im blushing now.Yes let's meet for intercourse like the sex type.

He said.I only do the the sexy sex wet type of intercourse not the other one with trains.

I said good.Im so glad we got that out the way as I dont like that either as I'm vegetarian.

I knew then he was for me so I sent him my address straight away and said.

Sexy type of sexual intercourse with sex involved at my house now please sky penis no face man.

He said.see you soon vedge girl bitch face.

I ran upstairs and shaved that huge blonde bushy tushy that lockdown had caused and sprayed some mr sheen in my room and under my armpits.

His big bad big bored BMW pulled on my drive and I opened the door.He greeted me with a spiff in his mouth and said yo bitch face.

I said hello it's nice to finally after 6 minutes to put a horrid face to the penis and we went straight upstairs.

I moved the cucumber off my bed and we started making intercourse with sex involved.Then he put the sky remote on vibrate.Wow just wow we had the most amazing 8 minutes of rubbing up and down on each other ever.

He left in pure sunshine and took my watch purse and egg timer?

But it was so worth it.

I will always remember him as my cutey chavy cheese chum even though he cheated and had another meet but it was worth it "

I'm in love with him, if you want to be my bridesmaid

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"I met a lass in aisle 14 of Tesco, all of a sudden there was an announcement over the tannoy "

Aisle 13, isn’t that the cake ingredients and decorations ?

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I turned up, she didn't.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I turned up, she didn't."

I don't doubt it, I'm still laughing at Tiny Temptress' egg timer thief

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I turned up, she didn't."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First of all it was his profile.

Wow just wow he made me weak at the knees.

He had the most beautiful sky remote next to his sausage in his profile picture.

I messaged him and waited with great anticipation.My flutters were getting all fluttery thinking about will he respond or not and that made me more utterly flustered and fluttery like utterly buttery fluttery.

Then it happened HE MESSAGED ME BACK

His beautiful words made my foo foo feel wohoooooo

He said:Yo wana meet up darlin your the hottest on here since the last one I told was the hottest on here.

I replied.Im blushing now.Yes let's meet for intercourse like the sex type.

He said.I only do the the sexy sex wet type of intercourse not the other one with trains.

I said good.Im so glad we got that out the way as I dont like that either as I'm vegetarian.

I knew then he was for me so I sent him my address straight away and said.

Sexy type of sexual intercourse with sex involved at my house now please sky penis no face man.

He said.see you soon vedge girl bitch face.

I ran upstairs and shaved that huge blonde bushy tushy that lockdown had caused and sprayed some mr sheen in my room and under my armpits.

His big bad big bored BMW pulled on my drive and I opened the door.He greeted me with a spiff in his mouth and said yo bitch face.

I said hello it's nice to finally after 6 minutes to put a horrid face to the penis and we went straight upstairs.

I moved the cucumber off my bed and we started making intercourse with sex involved.Then he put the sky remote on vibrate.Wow just wow we had the most amazing 8 minutes of rubbing up and down on each other ever.

He left in pure sunshine and took my watch purse and egg timer?

But it was so worth it.

I will always remember him as my cutey chavy cheese chum even though he cheated and had another meet but it was worth it

I'm in love with him, if you want to be my bridesmaid "

Only if you get him to give me my egg timer back please x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I turned up, she didn't.

I don't doubt it, I'm still laughing at Tiny Temptress' egg timer thief "

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By *lipper2018Man
over a year ago

bournemouth

[Removed by poster at 26/11/20 13:43:35]

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By *lipper2018Man
over a year ago

bournemouth

[Removed by poster at 26/11/20 13:44:33]

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By *lipper2018Man
over a year ago

bournemouth


"He sat on the settee and I straddled him.

He looked into my eyes and his hands held my waist. I looked back into his eyes and moved closer to kiss him as I held his face softly.

His hands stroked my sides and over my thighs as we kissed passionately. I kissed his neck and nibbled his on ear slightly. I started to unbutton his shirt so I could rub his chest and tease his nipples as we kissed.

I sat back slightly and bit my bottom lip as we looked at eachother in a gaze of pure lust.

I got off him and led him by the hand to my bedroom for the most sensual passionate sex I would wish for.

We were both spent, breathing heavily and sweaty. I looked into eyes and asked "what's your name""

I am a Borat, I like to make sex again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by clipper in 2018]

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"He sat on the settee and I straddled him.

He looked into my eyes and his hands held my waist. I looked back into his eyes and moved closer to kiss him as I held his face softly.

His hands stroked my sides and over my thighs as we kissed passionately. I kissed his neck and nibbled his on ear slightly. I started to unbutton his shirt so I could rub his chest and tease his nipples as we kissed.

I sat back slightly and bit my bottom lip as we looked at eachother in a gaze of pure lust.

I got off him and led him by the hand to my bedroom for the most sensual passionate sex I would wish for.

We were both spent, breathing heavily and sweaty. I looked into eyes and asked "what's your name""
and how long have you been on fabswingers ....he said he had never been on fabswingers.... ooops....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He sat on the settee and I straddled him.

He looked into my eyes and his hands held my waist. I looked back into his eyes and moved closer to kiss him as I held his face softly.

His hands stroked my sides and over my thighs as we kissed passionately. I kissed his neck and nibbled his on ear slightly. I started to unbutton his shirt so I could rub his chest and tease his nipples as we kissed.

I sat back slightly and bit my bottom lip as we looked at eachother in a gaze of pure lust.

I got off him and led him by the hand to my bedroom for the most sensual passionate sex I would wish for.

We were both spent, breathing heavily and sweaty. I looked into eyes and asked "what's your name"and how long have you been on fabswingers ....he said he had never been on fabswingers.... ooops.... "

Now there's a conundrum

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