FabSwingers.com forum: Worst First Message

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So what's been the worst or filthiest first message you've ever had on here? I'm sure some of you could write a book ha. Xx

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

More like a novel than a book, but one with plenty of repetition....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban. "

Surely you can do it in comical way? Not real first messages?

'If you like your men with a huge penis, no profile pictures and a tendency to badger you, then I'm your man *attaches Google found famous porn star's giant member picture.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.

Surely you can do it in comical way? Not real first messages?

'If you like your men with a huge penis, no profile pictures and a tendency to badger you, then I'm your man *attaches Google found famous porn star's giant member picture.

When you click on 'post in forum' There is a header that says check the rules before posting.

Private mails should stay private no matter......

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

[Removed by poster at 23/11/20 15:13:57]

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

'sup

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Wan me 2 suk Ur coc?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Wanna suk mi coc?

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

Not word for word as that would get a ban but I have had several from blokes asking in various ways if I would like to have my cock sucked or like to fuck My stock response is “ only If it is your wife doing it, and no you can’t watch”

Normally has the desired effect

I should say receiving a message of any type is a fairly rare occurrence

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Nice clock.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Wanna suk mi coc?

Oh yeah babe

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban. "

I don't think that Ruggers is gonna take take this one too seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.

Surely you can do it in comical way? Not real first messages?

'If you like your men with a huge penis, no profile pictures and a tendency to badger you, then I'm your man *attaches Google found famous porn star's giant member picture.

When you click on 'post in forum' There is a header that says check the rules before posting.

Private mails should stay private no matter......"

No matter if they are entirely fictional for laughs?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Too many takes there ^

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By *unandfrolics696969Couple
over a year ago

exeter

"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban. "

I dont think the op was asking for a screenshot. Merely a description on what we class as a bad first message.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.

I dont think the op was asking for a screenshot. Merely a description on what we class as a bad first message. "

Nail on't head Ilson man

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Sorry, it could have been the lady posting

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By *unandfrolics696969Couple
over a year ago

exeter

"Sorry, it could have been the lady posting

Twas n all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How big yo cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wont quote an exact message, but the worst type are those asking to be my toilet

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I don't normally go for fat birds but you're dead local.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Genres of messages I dislike.

* "You will come to (postcode) after dark. Alone. Tell no one" (graphic sexual description) ... Swing imagines the detective finding my corpse the next morning

* Graphic description of sexual prowess, usually anatomically impossible

* Breeding

* The demands I come to their place right now

* Insult and block

* Demeaning of sex workers

* "I ain't gonna read all that iz a sex sight luv"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't normally go for fat birds but you're dead local."

Oh fuck me, I’m crying

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I don't normally go for fat birds but you're dead local."

Yeah, variations of "I normally wouldn't stoop to you but" are bloody charming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don’t really get bad messages from women, you do occasionally from couples that are very entitled and incredibly arrogant. I got one once that was along the lines of you should be grateful we’ve messaged you, but now you need to impress us with your conversational skills, needless to say I gave a humorous but slightly sarcastic reply and was immediately blocked, totally worth it.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Sorry, it could have been the lady posting

Twas n all"

Are you speeking reet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what's been the worst or filthiest first message you've ever had on here? I'm sure some of you could write a book ha. Xx"

Not so filthy but I don't like the messages I receive from cheating married women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/11/20 18:53:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*taxi 10 mins?

*can I get you pregnant

*will you watch me put a banana up my bum, shit it out and eat it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*taxi 10 mins?

*can I get you pregnant

*will you watch me put a banana up my bum, shit it out and eat it

You said you would keep them 3 to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don’t really get bad messages from women, you do occasionally from couples that are very entitled and incredibly arrogant. I got one once that was along the lines of you should be grateful we’ve messaged you, but now you need to impress us with your conversational skills, needless to say I gave a humorous but slightly sarcastic reply and was immediately blocked, totally worth it. "

I feel this. Couples send terrible messages. The husbands usually send short messages with terrible grammar and punctuation and the wives usually send pointless messages that are awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*taxi 10 mins?

*can I get you pregnant

*will you watch me put a banana up my bum, shit it out and eat it

You said you would keep them 3 to yourself

Soz Pond... I thought that was the shetland pony... My bad

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By *erms and conditionsCouple
over a year ago

Alton

At least some of these have imagination...

We mostly get "Wow"... And that's it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The inconspicuous couple asking if he can suck your cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ain't gonna suck itself!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ain't gonna suck itself!"

No. Apparently it will not. How sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At least some of these have imagination...

We mostly get "Wow"... And that's it"

Wow

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Next time you're in Xtasia I'll bang you real good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*taxi 10 mins?

*can I get you pregnant

*will you watch me put a banana up my bum, shit it out and eat it

lol

once in the middle of the night a woman sent me 'breed me' like message and then woke up later in the day and apologized for her d*unken message

safe to say she was impregnated

some are really into this pregnancy fantasy tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ain't gonna suck itself!

No. Apparently it will not. How sad

Lol

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

u ok

Really wonder how some people manage to keep breathing, the quality of some messages. And of course by no means limited to single men.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I don't normally go for fat birds but you're dead local.

Oh fuck me, I’m crying "

Geographical proximity is such a turn on; they can be as rough as a badger's arsehole but if they live locally I'll still drop trou.

True story *nods*

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Ain't gonna suck itself!"

I love that one, as well as "I really need to dump a load/need my bollocks draining".

God, that sounds SO MUCH FUN! I'm on me way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ain't gonna suck itself!

I love that one, as well as "I really need to dump a load/need my bollocks draining".

God, that sounds SO MUCH FUN! I'm on me way

What charming men, you lucky lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It involved a goat and a grandmother! Tempting tho it may have been (obviously not!) I politely declined

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ain't gonna suck itself!

I love that one, as well as "I really need to dump a load/need my bollocks draining".

God, that sounds SO MUCH FUN! I'm on me way

What charming men, you lucky lady

Dump a load. Havnt heard that one before

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ain't gonna suck itself!

I love that one, as well as "I really need to dump a load/need my bollocks draining".

God, that sounds SO MUCH FUN! I'm on me way

Balls need draining sounds like a painful medical procedure.

Like lancing a boil.

I'm not a sadist, sorry, hope you find what you're looking for

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Somebody asked if I (Luke) would like to watch him have his wicked way with Hannah. It involved the F word, bad spelling and bad grammar, to the extent I had to ask him what he meant. Eventually he made himself clear.

I don't know how anybody might think that approach might entice anybody.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you share private messages in a forum you get a ban.

I dont think the op was asking for a screenshot. Merely a description on what we class as a bad first message. "

Thank you that's right it was just a general idea and as some people said just as a comical aspect. Wow some very serious people on here with very little to do. I'm sure a bit of comedy during lockdown could do us all good xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmao don't know why I read this as 'Worst first Massage' smh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At least some of these have imagination...

We mostly get "Wow"... And that's it"

Wow Really?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"At least some of these have imagination...

We mostly get "Wow"... And that's it

Wow Really?

I once got about ten lines, all caps, about how amazingly sexy and gorgeous I was.

I don't know if it was supposed to be just effusive praise but it came across as unhinged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got one from a guy with a pic of his bent over hairy Axx Hxxx asking if I’ve ever slipped into anything so rugged lol; I was polite of course, told him if he shaved it and made it and wore it as a wig I may consider

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At least some of these have imagination...

We mostly get "Wow"... And that's it

Wow Really?

I once got about ten lines, all caps, about how amazingly sexy and gorgeous I was.

I don't know if it was supposed to be just effusive praise but it came across as unhinged"

Lol shouting at you about your beauty sound a little unhinged ha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U ok? is a good one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey, just got my results back from the GU clinic and I'm mostly good..!"

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By *kishaWoman
over a year ago

Fun world

I was asked by a pakistani guy to “sit on his paki mother’s face”!!

Also had one “give me a chance u wont be disappointed i honestly need xl coz im pretty thick” errrrm didnt know how to answer that o e

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By *lasterman2000Man
over a year ago

Skipton

"It involved a goat and a grandmother! Tempting tho it may have been (obviously not!) I politely declined"

The effort the poor man was willing to go through and you declined? Have you any idea how hard it is to find a willing goat?

Some people are just so hard to please..*Sheesh*

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By *ont you just loveCouple
over a year ago

Banbury

We had our worst first message yesterday, it just said

OMG

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Interesting one this morn asking if I had a poo yet when I asked why he said he likes to watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting one this morn asking if I had a poo yet when I asked why he said he likes to watch "

And you answered him lol

may try that next time as an ice breaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The worst ones are when someone says

"Check out my profile"

And then its almost blank

Drives me insane.

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By *omino51Man
over a year ago

loughborough

Guys just putting "come over and fuck me hard". I may be male but even i like some connection and foreplay. We might meet and not fancy each other. Some on here would fuck any port in a storm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*hi

* u ok?

* wanna breed

*how much money will it take

* begging messages

* can I fuck you BB

* babe I love fat girls

* how much do you weigh

* will you crush me

* can I have milk from your tits

The lists are endless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a message from a couple with their bank details in it saying that if I put a certain amount of money in there I could go round and have sex with the female of the couple whilst the guy watches.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a message from a couple with their bank details in it saying that if I put a certain amount of money in there I could go round and have sex with the female of the couple whilst the guy watches."

That's slightly less sleazy that the top up my phone credit offer I had for the same.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

Seems like I’m wasting my time with polite messages.....

I’m now going to just ask ....

“Can I come over and tongue punch you in your fart box”

I reckon I’m on to a winner here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the first but a follow-up was asking if they can watch us and have a wank while wearing a mask.

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By *lasterman2000Man
over a year ago

Skipton

"Seems like I’m wasting my time with polite messages.....

I’m now going to just ask ....

“Can I come over and tongue punch you in your fart box”

I reckon I’m on to a winner here....

I used that exact line on a lady once...oh how she laughed...No seriously she did

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not the first but a follow-up was asking if they can watch us and have a wank while wearing a mask."

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase safe sex ha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst first message.

'Can I order 1x kebab. I'll bring the mayonnaise.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*hi

* u ok?

* wanna breed

*how much money will it take

* begging messages

* can I fuck you BB

* babe I love fat girls

* how much do you weigh

* will you crush me

* can I have milk from your tits

The lists are endless

These are all the lines I sent to Vivacious. At least I'm persistent

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