FabSwingers.com forum: Couples profiles

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

So singles, if you met someone on fab who you hit it off with and started a relationship in which you decided you wanted to continue swinging, how soon do you think you'd jump in with a couples profile? Clearly this is a hypothetical and circumstances might change your answer, but in theory.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

Obviously I'm just curious and being nosey really, and y'all should feel free not to say, it's just something we've been chatting about and thought it would be interesting to see what other people's experiences and views are.

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By *he HandiemanMan
over a year ago

north west

Hmmm depends, if we was in a relationship then obvs we'd know each other quite well ish. I think in that situation we'd alreadý of been doing it together before the relationship blossomed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met on fab as singles.

We'd been seeing each other somewhere between 6 months and a year when we set up a couples profile and tbh, we had no idea what we really wanted.

It was mostly just to post when we were heading to a club, always nice to see a friendly face...

Tbh it's only been the past year or two we've been more sure of what we are looking for.

I think for an actual couple (as opposed to fuck buddies/fwb) it's important to establish a strong relationship and complete honesty before going into swinging as a couple at all. You need to know and trust one another or it's likely to end in tears.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Hmmm depends, if we was in a relationship then obvs we'd know each other quite well ish. I think in that situation we'd alreadý of been doing it together before the relationship blossomed"

So you wouldn't start swinging or looking to swing until the relationship was established then?

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By *he HandiemanMan
over a year ago

north west

"Hmmm depends, if we was in a relationship then obvs we'd know each other quite well ish. I think in that situation we'd alreadý of been doing it together before the relationship blossomed

So you wouldn't start swinging or looking to swing until the relationship was established then?"

I meant it as we would of probs decided to swing together before it started

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Hmmm depends, if we was in a relationship then obvs we'd know each other quite well ish. I think in that situation we'd alreadý of been doing it together before the relationship blossomed

So you wouldn't start swinging or looking to swing until the relationship was established then?

I meant it as we would of probs decided to swing together before it started "

So do you think you'd jump.in quite quickly to swinging in that case then?

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By *he HandiemanMan
over a year ago

north west

"Hmmm depends, if we was in a relationship then obvs we'd know each other quite well ish. I think in that situation we'd alreadý of been doing it together before the relationship blossomed

So you wouldn't start swinging or looking to swing until the relationship was established then?

I meant it as we would of probs decided to swing together before it started

So do you think you'd jump.in quite quickly to swinging in that case then?"

I think thats how it would end up progressing into one. Whether we still swung after the relationship started i dunno

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Hmmm depends, if we was in a relationship then obvs we'd know each other quite well ish. I think in that situation we'd alreadý of been doing it together before the relationship blossomed

So you wouldn't start swinging or looking to swing until the relationship was established then?

I meant it as we would of probs decided to swing together before it started

So do you think you'd jump.in quite quickly to swinging in that case then?

I think thats how it would end up progressing into one. Whether we still swung after the relationship started i dunno"

Thank you

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By *oreno0969Man
over a year ago

Rugby

Hello beautiful

Little busy but thought i would pop in and say hiya and also drop mine in from a single to not single guy

You possibly know my feelings on this as its more than likely we have chatted about it on one of our many hours on the phone

, i for one (call me hipocritical) couldnt do it. I know i couldnt do it, its not out of jealousy as i am in no way a jealous man i just dont think part of me could deal with it and if i am in a happy relationship with somebody i would never want to risk finding out either.

If i was approached by my partner about it we would of course discuss it but again i wouldnt feel comfortable in it so would not want to do it either

fab on the other hand has been a place where i have made so many amazing friends this year and would never leave to satisfy another either. It would become my social media as Facebook is utter dog filled with negativity and crap atleast here i can choose it rather than it being spoon fed with no choice

Hope this helps

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Hello beautiful

Little busy but thought i would pop in and say hiya and also drop mine in from a single to not single guy

You possibly know my feelings on this as its more than likely we have chatted about it on one of our many hours on the phone

If i was approached by my partner about it we would of course discuss it but again i wouldnt feel comfortable in it so would not want to do it either

Hope this helps

Aww you.... I think you may have mentioned it. Possibly. Maybe. In one of those many hours. And thank you gorgeous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least."

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too..."

Apparently I'm not allowed to call them that. So I shall change my answer to....

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Delights up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

Apparently I'm not allowed to call them that. So I shall change my answer to....

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Delights up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too..."

"The Turks"...

So impersonal....asking me to wax your bumhole one day...forgotten my name the next

so fickle...

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

Apparently I'm not allowed to call them that. So I shall change my answer to....

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Delights up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

"The Turks"...

So impersonal....asking me to wax your bumhole one day...forgotten my name the next

so fickle..."

New phone, who dis?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

Apparently I'm not allowed to call them that. So I shall change my answer to....

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Delights up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

"The Turks"...

So impersonal....asking me to wax your bumhole one day...forgotten my name the next

so fickle...

New phone, who dis?"

Hi Mrs NotSoPoshButHasGotAHairyBumHole....

I'm Dave from veet customer service, just a line in response to your query...if it still burns in the morning, it wasn't our wax strips she used...

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

Apparently I'm not allowed to call them that. So I shall change my answer to....

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Delights up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

"The Turks"...

So impersonal....asking me to wax your bumhole one day...forgotten my name the next

so fickle...

New phone, who dis?

Hi Mrs NotSoPoshButHasGotAHairyBumHole....

I'm Dave from veet customer service, just a line in response to your query...if it still burns in the morning, it wasn't our wax strips she used...

Dave, why are you using Lu's account?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

Apparently I'm not allowed to call them that. So I shall change my answer to....

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Delights up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

"The Turks"...

So impersonal....asking me to wax your bumhole one day...forgotten my name the next

so fickle...

New phone, who dis?

Hi Mrs NotSoPoshButHasGotAHairyBumHole....

I'm Dave from veet customer service, just a line in response to your query...if it still burns in the morning, it wasn't our wax strips she used...

Dave, why are you using Lu's account?"

lo siento, no te entiendo ... enjuaga bien con agua tibia, busca asistencia médica si la quema persiste por más de 48 horas

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I apologise to the forum. Lu has been hacked by Dave.

This was meant to be a serious thread ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I apologise to the forum. Lu has been hacked by Dave.

This was meant to be a serious thread ffs

Don't you blame me!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I apologise to the forum. Lu has been hacked by Dave.

This was meant to be a serious thread ffs

Don't you blame me! "

I'm not! I blame Dave.

Unless that is still Dave. Then I blame you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I apologise to the forum. Lu has been hacked by Dave.

This was meant to be a serious thread ffs

Don't you blame me!

I'm not! I blame Dave.

Unless that is still Dave. Then I blame you."

Who the fuck is Dave?

You had another one of those mystery brown pills?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I apologise to the forum. Lu has been hacked by Dave.

This was meant to be a serious thread ffs

Don't you blame me!

I'm not! I blame Dave.

Unless that is still Dave. Then I blame you.

Who the fuck is Dave?

You had another one of those mystery brown pills?

I think I might need one at this rate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I apologise to the forum. Lu has been hacked by Dave.

This was meant to be a serious thread ffs

Don't you blame me!

I'm not! I blame Dave.

Unless that is still Dave. Then I blame you.

Who the fuck is Dave?

You had another one of those mystery brown pills?

I think I might need one at this rate

Bring me one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/11/20 06:59:08]

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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago

Wirral

"We met on fab as singles.

We'd been seeing each other somewhere between 6 months and a year when we set up a couples profile and tbh, we had no I think for an actual couple (as opposed to fuck buddies/fwb) it's important to establish a strong relationship and complete honesty before going into swinging as a couple at all. You need to know and trust one another or it's likely to end in tears.

Excellent advice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

We’d been seeing each other for about 9 months when we did ours I think

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

I would only make a couples profile if we Intended to meet as a couple. As it would feel more like a lamppost pissing exercise, hands off hes mine esq.

But I would not delete our single accounts though as I'd want to meet separately as well and you can't set a couples profile to single again if we changed our minds

Also lots of fab play friends have made couples profiles, you don't actually have to be a couple in real life to make one.

Good luck Posh x

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

How far do u live apart plays a big factor to ? I've been in a swinging couple before , I get the relationship well established before I bought swinging in to it , are u both after the same thing regarding swinging to, there's alot to discuss

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It took my fiance and I about two years? We both took a year off fab and decided to focus on each other and where our relationship is going and building good foundations - like Lu said the trust and open, honest dialogue is so important and neither of us thought we could really, truly get that when our attention wasn't on each other. We don't use it nowadays and haven't done for a bit because there's no interest/desire to but it wouldn't have worked for us personally without having a primary focus on each other.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

We’d been seeing each other for about 9 months when we did ours I think "

Thanks chick. Was it something you had talked about from the start?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

We’d been seeing each other for about 9 months when we did ours I think

Thanks chick. Was it something you had talked about from the start?"

No, our relationship evolved over time, we’d talked about meeting others together, but it became something we were more interested in.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I would only make a couples profile if we Intended to meet as a couple. As it would feel more like a lamppost pissing exercise, hands off hes mine esq.

But I would not delete our single accounts though as I'd want to meet separately as well and you can't set a couples profile to single again if we changed our minds

Also lots of fab play friends have made couples profiles, you don't actually have to be a couple in real life to make one.

Good luck Posh x

That's a good point about fab play friends.... I didn't even really think about that as different I suppose. So for the purposes of my query I guess I'm asking the same question to FWB couples, and wondering if their answer might be different if they were "real life couples" as well....

I also didn't even consider that there might be folks using a couples profile as a lamppost pissing exercise

This musing has become even more complex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve done it really early on and it didn’t work I would recommend against it. I Personally think covid is a great excuse to get to know each other and build up what you have together before including others. If you want to link each other then do so on your own profiles such as a photo together or a mention of his name in your bio and vice versa. As I’ve learnt from experience don’t rush anything

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"How far do u live apart plays a big factor to ? I've been in a swinging couple before , I get the relationship well established before I bought swinging in to it , are u both after the same thing regarding swinging to, there's alot to discuss

I think that's entirely right, a hell of a lot to discuss. And I'd imagine if you lived far apart you'd probably take longer to really establish the relationship before opening it to others?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"It took my fiance and I about two years? We both took a year off fab and decided to focus on each other and where our relationship is going and building good foundations - like Lu said the trust and open, honest dialogue is so important and neither of us thought we could really, truly get that when our attention wasn't on each other. We don't use it nowadays and haven't done for a bit because there's no interest/desire to but it wouldn't have worked for us personally without having a primary focus on each other."

Did you make a conscious decision about timescale? Or was it conscious to take the year off and then it didn't feel right for about another year?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

We’d been seeing each other for about 9 months when we did ours I think

Thanks chick. Was it something you had talked about from the start?

No, our relationship evolved over time, we’d talked about meeting others together, but it became something we were more interested in. "

That makes sense to me.... and again, keeping that communication honest and open was key so you both knew when y'all were both ready.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’ve done it really early on and it didn’t work I would recommend against it. I Personally think covid is a great excuse to get to know each other and build up what you have together before including others. If you want to link each other then do so on your own profiles such as a photo together or a mention of his name in your bio and vice versa. As I’ve learnt from experience don’t rush anything

Obviously don't answer if you'd rather not (or if you want to but privately that's cool), do you think jumping in as a couple too soon was an element that ruined things?

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We started a couple's profile after a relatively short time. I blame covid - life's too short and all that.

We had both only played with each other and had desires on changing that, though we are questioning whether anything could enhance what we already have.

We click on a deep level and spend a lot of time together, despite physical distances. We talk as soon as anything surfaces and honesty and trust go without saying.

We both still have sgl profiles though they're pretty dormant now.

There are a lot of 'what ifs' in setting up a couple's profile and as long as you've talked it through and are both happy, then why the hell not. Good luck, whatever your decision.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We started a couple's profile after a relatively short time. I blame covid - life's too short and all that.

We had both only played with each other and had desires on changing that, though we are questioning whether anything could enhance what we already have.

We click on a deep level and spend a lot of time together, despite physical distances. We talk as soon as anything surfaces and honesty and trust go without saying.

We both still have sgl profiles though they're pretty dormant now.

There are a lot of 'what ifs' in setting up a couple's profile and as long as you've talked it through and are both happy, then why the hell not. Good luck, whatever your decision.

Do you think if it weren't for covid you might have waited longer? I know there's no way really to know, but would you imagine that to have been the case or that you would still have gone for the couple profile as quickly?

This is all just a musing for me, no couple profile plans in the pipeline! But thank you for the thought anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

I have been there and done that - but - if I did it again in the future I would keep my singles profile and perhaps just hide it. If you just keep the couples profile and you are just fwb’s you might find he moves on and you lose your veris. Fab m’en can be very fickle.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

Did you go in quite quickly then?

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

Myself and Kitty were discussing this yesterday. I think we’d both want to explore each other before bringing others in! Maybe see what each other likes etc!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication,communication and MORE communication between you and your partner is the only way to know if the time is right to start on this road.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We stumbled on it accidentally. A misunderstanding over a text lead to a conversation on my wife wanting to explore her bi side.

One threesome later and we can’t wait for lockdown to end so we can try our second...

And third...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't actually think there is any right or wrong answer to this one only the one that "feels" right for the people concerned at the time.

That said I have seen so many instances of "couples" who met on here that the couples profile lasts five minutes before it ends in tears that I'd urge caution until both are sure it's what they want and that it is likely to last - which isn't easy to predict I know - you can still be a "couple" with singles profiles and meet as such, it adds difficulty admittedly but it can be done.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

I did once had a couples profile as I went exclusive with a single guy. I mean I was having one on one meets only with him. We decided to set it up after 8months

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

Myself and Kitty were discussing this yesterday. I think we’d both want to explore each other before bringing others in! Maybe see what each other likes etc! "

I am with you on that....

I see you came back in to swinging after a while away, do you think the time away while knowing you were interested in swinging helped? Or did you think you were done with it after you stopped the first time?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Communication,communication and MORE communication between you and your partner is the only way to know if the time is right to start on this road.

Oh most definitely! Talking, openness and honesty. But then I think that is true of any relationship regardless of swinging. Just more necessary if you bring others in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

We’d been seeing each other for about 9 months when we did ours I think

Thanks chick. Was it something you had talked about from the start?

No, our relationship evolved over time, we’d talked about meeting others together, but it became something we were more interested in.

That makes sense to me.... and again, keeping that communication honest and open was key so you both knew when y'all were both ready."

Exactly, it sounds exciting for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did once had a couples profile as I went exclusive with a single guy. I mean I was having one on one meets only with him. We decided to set it up after 8months

Why bother with a couples profile if you weren't meeting anyone else?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I’m just throwing in my twopennyworth ....

We’ve seen singles get together here and play quite happily then go on to set up couples profiles but where it then brings out a jealous monster when one or other decides to open the door to other playmates. As Compersion noted, it then becomes akin to Lamppost pissing or territory marking in public. That’s not a pretty sight or an endearing quality.

I feel if singles decide to go the couples route they really need to be on the same page, totally! There are some fantastic couples on fab and you can see they work together, with each other and it’s reflected in their profiles and forum personas.

If your prone to deep feelings of possession then leave it alone ...

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I have found that singles here who move on to a couples’ profile quite quickly is more of a “marking territory” thing... as in yeah, we are swinging, but look, we’re “Fab together, so hand off” (

) ... seen it with quite a few singles in my area who have coupled up.

My fwb suggested the idea of us creating a couples’ profile. Other than posting photos of us on it and the possibility of attending clubs together once they open, I don’t see the point in it. I don’t want to share him, haha

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We stumbled on it accidentally. A misunderstanding over a text lead to a conversation on my wife wanting to explore her bi side.

One threesome later and we can’t wait for lockdown to end so we can try our second...

And third...

That must have been quite the text! It sounds like you're at the beginning of what could be an exciting journey!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I don't actually think there is any right or wrong answer to this one only the one that "feels" right for the people concerned at the time.

I completely agree there is no right or wrong answer to this one, it literally is just a subject I thought might make an interesting forum conversation really as I became intrigued while talking to Lu about it last night.

Do you think that the couples profile could be one of the reasons that the relationships you mention implode?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We'd been together about 27 years when the subject first came up. It probably took about a month of serious talking before we signed up to a swinging site but a lot longer of fantasy talk.

There's been a lot of water flow under the bridge in that time.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I did once had a couples profile as I went exclusive with a single guy. I mean I was having one on one meets only with him. We decided to set it up after 8months

Thanks PD.... was it something you'd mentioned sooner or was it at that time that the subject came up and then you set it up soon after the initial chat?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

We’d been seeing each other for about 9 months when we did ours I think

Thanks chick. Was it something you had talked about from the start?

No, our relationship evolved over time, we’d talked about meeting others together, but it became something we were more interested in.

That makes sense to me.... and again, keeping that communication honest and open was key so you both knew when y'all were both ready.

Exactly, it sounds exciting for you

Oh this is honestly just all stemming from a discussion with Lu last night. No ulterior motive lol

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

We set up the profile after visiting a club and everyone asking us what our fab name was! Never heard of it until then. For anyone thinking of doing one with a FB, FWB or new partner I wouldn’t bother, 4s are such hard work on here compared to 2s and 3s. Its actually probably easier for 4 single profiles to arrange a foursome than 2 couples.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m just throwing in my twopennyworth ....

If your prone to deep feelings of possession then leave it alone ... "

Oh definitely DC! There are some fabulous couples here, and likely some not so much fabulous couples for a variety of reasons. But yes. I think possession is not something that one can feel deeply and share one's partner. My view, clearly lol. And I'm willing to have it challenged of course!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I have found that singles here who move on to a couples’ profile quite quickly is more of a “marking territory” thing... as in yeah, we are swinging, but look, we’re “Fab together, so hand off” (

) ... seen it with quite a few singles in my area who have coupled up.

I can see that. And of course you could post pics of you together on your single profiles and visit clubs together (as and when) anyway, so if you're not actually planning to meet together then where is the point in the couple profile. Makes sense to me.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Going off experience I recommend couples that get together through fab take time out and solidify their foundations before embarking on this side of things.

A couple of reasons

There are snakes and vipers disguised as swingers who get a kick out of infiltrating a fledgling OR well established relationship but it's easier to create doubt in one that's learning and growing in its formative stage without the concrete base, especially if that relationship is made up of one half they REALLY wanna get their sticky mitts on.

When you take that time away, it's a signal that the relationship is more important than the swinging, and that both parties want to give it the best chance of survival.

Of course not everyone will face the same issues, but it's well versed that when a guy gets into a relationship on here he swiftly gains far more attention and meet requests.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We'd been together about 27 years when the subject first came up. It probably took about a month of serious talking before we signed up to a swinging site but a lot longer of fantasy talk.

There's been a lot of water flow under the bridge in that time."

Did it start off as a fantasy discussion between you (again, I'm aware I'm being nosey so do tell me to butt out if you want) or come up some other way and then turn to fantasy chat and then serious?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We set up the profile after visiting a club and everyone asking us what our fab name was! Never heard of it until then. For anyone thinking of doing one with a FB, FWB or new partner I wouldn’t bother, 4s are such hard work on here compared to 2s and 3s. Its actually probably easier for 4 single profiles to arrange a foursome than 2 couples."

I have actually always wondered about that.... as although I've not specifically looked for couples I know it is rare for me to be attracted to both partners. Having to find a couple that both of you are attracted to, and both of them are attracted to both of you must be so much more difficult (generic you, not personal you of course).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been seeing my fwb for 4 years now. We have seen too many fall to the curse of the couples profile so just stuck with our singles ones... It is still working very well for both of us, we play alone and together so don't think we will be changing anything, anytime soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I done it with a FWB and it was only because we were trying to set up a threesome so it was eaiser as we could both read/reply to messages etc we made it clear we had singles profiles and that we were a "fab" couple, what the purpose of the profile was etc

I very much doubt I would do it again. We didn't have any success with finding what we wanted and actually found it away from Fab instead. If I wanted to set up something with a regular friend, I'd probably do it with another friend now.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Going off experience I recommend couples that get together through fab take time out and solidify their foundations before embarking on this side of things.

A couple of reasons

When you take that time away, it's a signal that the relationship is more important than the swinging, and that both parties want to give it the best chance of survival.

Of course not everyone will face the same issues, but it's well versed that when a guy gets into a relationship on here he swiftly gains far more attention and meet requests."

Definitely agree about the snakes and vipers Peach, and from things people have told me, guys definitely get more attention and meet requests once he is "outed" as being in a couple.

That bamboozles me quite frankly. The mindset of the snakes is alien to me.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

"We started a couple's profile after a relatively short time. I blame covid - life's too short and all that.

We had both only played with each other and had desires on changing that, though we are questioning whether anything could enhance what we already have.

We click on a deep level and spend a lot of time together, despite physical distances. We talk as soon as anything surfaces and honesty and trust go without saying.

We both still have sgl profiles though they're pretty dormant now.

There are a lot of 'what ifs' in setting up a couple's profile and as long as you've talked it through and are both happy, then why the hell not. Good luck, whatever your decision.

This is all just a musing for me, no couple profile plans in the pipeline! But thank you for the thought anyway x"

Covid has meant we've spent a lot more time together than would ever have been possible before, so in that sense, yes, covid has accelerated everything, particularly as I've not been working

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I have been seeing my fwb for 4 years now. We have seen too many fall to the curse of the couples profile so just stuck with our singles ones... It is still working very well for both of us, we play alone and together so don't think we will be changing anything, anytime soon

That makes total sense to me. After all, why fix what isn't broken! And if you can avoid a curse I say do it. Far better plan.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We were living in different countries as our relationship developed. We started out not even thinking we were ever even likely to meet. We told each other our experiences, hopes, desires and fantasies etc. before there was anything serious going on between us. I (Luke) had said I have been swinging and I would only consider a non-exclusive relationship, but I didn't mean with Hannah, I just meant in principle.

So she thought about the idea of non-monogamy and as things progressed between us she concluded that she felt comfortable with that. As things got serious and it looked like we were going to end up together in the same country, we refined what we meant by non-monogamy together.

So when we actually ended up permanently in the same country (instead of flying off to meet each other) but several months before we moved in together, we set up a Fab profile. That was actually only the third time we had been together physically. The rest had all been phone and video chats.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I done it with a FWB and it was only because we were trying to set up a threesome so it was eaiser as we could both read/reply to messages etc we made it clear we had singles profiles and that we were a "fab" couple, what the purpose of the profile was etc

Morning woman

Did you consider just using (for example) your profile and either sharing your log in (for a fwb maybe I wouldn't do that but if there's love and trust enough to come out as a couple rather than just searching for a third I wouldn't see an issue) or just sharing screenshots?

Again, curious and nosey....

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I started out on the scene, many moons ago, as part of a couple...it's a completely different ball game to being single. I would say that, no matter how long it takes, make sure that your relationship with each other is fully established first, and always communicate. You both need to be not only on the same page, but on the same sentence on that page. No matter how ready you think you are for it, seeing your partner with someone else for the first time can cause some unexpected emotions.

I think it also depends on how you'll be playing going forward...if you're still going to be meeting separately, then as VH said, I'd likely not bother with a couples profile and just mention it on your respective single profiles.

And if it's someone from the forums, be prepared for some reactions that you perhaps didn't envisage...unfortunately not everyone is going to be happy for you.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We started a couple's profile after a relatively short time. I blame covid - life's too short and all that.

We had both only played with each other and had desires on changing that, though we are questioning whether anything could enhance what we already have.

We click on a deep level and spend a lot of time together, despite physical distances. We talk as soon as anything surfaces and honesty and trust go without saying.

We both still have sgl profiles though they're pretty dormant now.

There are a lot of 'what ifs' in setting up a couple's profile and as long as you've talked it through and are both happy, then why the hell not. Good luck, whatever your decision.

This is all just a musing for me, no couple profile plans in the pipeline! But thank you for the thought anyway x

Covid has meant we've spent a lot more time together than would ever have been possible before, so in that sense, yes, covid has accelerated everything, particularly as I've not been working"

Of course, that makes a lot of sense, and how fantastic for you that you can spend so much time together at the start of your relationship! Thank you for sharing.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I think it's a good thing , but perhaps not straight away

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We'd been together about 27 years when the subject first came up. It probably took about a month of serious talking before we signed up to a swinging site but a lot longer of fantasy talk.

There's been a lot of water flow under the bridge in that time.

Did it start off as a fantasy discussion between you (again, I'm aware I'm being nosey so do tell me to butt out if you want) or come up some other way and then turn to fantasy chat and then serious?"

Lol, I wouldn't tell you to butt out, I just wouldn't answer.

Started as fantasy then turned serious but we did a LOT of talking seriously about it first.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We were living in different countries as our relationship developed. We started out not even thinking we were ever even likely to meet. We told each other our experiences, hopes, desires and fantasies etc. before there was anything serious going on between us. I (Luke) had said I have been swinging and I would only consider a non-exclusive relationship, but I didn't mean with Hannah, I just meant in principle.

It does sound like you had established the relationship quite well despite only having met the three times though?

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I started out on the scene, many moons ago, as part of a couple...it's a completely different ball game to being single. I would say that, no matter how long it takes, make sure that your relationship with each other is fully established first, and always communicate. You both need to be not only on the same page, but on the same sentence on that page. No matter how ready you think you are for it, seeing your partner with someone else for the first time can cause some unexpected emotions.

And if it's someone from the forums, be prepared for some reactions that you perhaps didn't envisage...unfortunately not everyone is going to be happy for you. "

I'm very aware of that last point. One of the benefits of having lurked in the shadows for 18 months before joining in with the forums is that you see a lot of things that as members of the community we don't necessarily see in ourselves until it affects us I guess.

I imagine it is so easy to be on the same page but yet still be reading things differently. I like the analogy of same sentence as well.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think it's a good thing , but perhaps not straight away

Well, yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

Did you go in quite quickly then?"

Yes in the first 2 months so we could go to a few events and parties that wouldn’t allow couples without a couple profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did have one with a fab friend, we werent in a relationship but had been meeting/chatting for about a ýear. It was more an exercise for him to just be able to chat to more people about his fantasies with the better pull a couple profile has. We quickly realised it would prove pretty impossible to ever meet anyone, us being miles away and hardly able to ever meet and then arranging with other couples who were also just fab couples and and different ends of the world too

The conversations can be pretty good though to work through fantasies and situations you may like to try although he got a bit disillusioned as it was still just a woman many couples wanted to meet, or the clash of stonger male personalities in the profiles he chose. I would do it again with a friend, but if I was beginning or in a serious relationship Im not sure it would be for me, I would want to be really confident that it just wasnt a way to shag about but under the legitimacy of being a couple, or that I could be trusted enough to not be a cheat. I think it would eventuallu do me in. But who knows

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We'd been together about 27 years when the subject first came up. It probably took about a month of serious talking before we signed up to a swinging site but a lot longer of fantasy talk.

There's been a lot of water flow under the bridge in that time.

Did it start off as a fantasy discussion between you (again, I'm aware I'm being nosey so do tell me to butt out if you want) or come up some other way and then turn to fantasy chat and then serious?

Lol, I wouldn't tell you to butt out, I just wouldn't answer.

Started as fantasy then turned serious but we did a LOT of talking seriously about it first."

Thank you....

I'd imagine that having been together for 27 years ish helped with that, you had the established relationship, the trust and love were established as well.

Side note.... I'm always amazed and so impressed when two people manage to live in the same place for such a long time without one or the other ending up under the patio or in the fish pond. So congratulations and thank you, you guys are an inspiration to me.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

Did you go in quite quickly then?

Yes in the first 2 months so we could go to a few events and parties that wouldn’t allow couples without a couple profile."

I didn't even know that was a thing! That makes more sense. But yes, keeping the single profile does seem like a very good idea.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

"I did once had a couples profile as I went exclusive with a single guy. I mean I was having one on one meets only with him. We decided to set it up after 8months

Thanks PD.... was it something you'd mentioned sooner or was it at that time that the subject came up and then you set it up soon after the initial chat?"

We always wanted to experience group meetings together so it’s been always the case for us from the beginning however we have waited to strengthen our chemistry and made sure there is no loose ends in both sides. I believe married couples , who plays together, have that naturally and for fwbs you really need to communicate a lot. My humble opinion

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We'd been together about 27 years when the subject first came up. It probably took about a month of serious talking before we signed up to a swinging site but a lot longer of fantasy talk.

There's been a lot of water flow under the bridge in that time.

Did it start off as a fantasy discussion between you (again, I'm aware I'm being nosey so do tell me to butt out if you want) or come up some other way and then turn to fantasy chat and then serious?

Lol, I wouldn't tell you to butt out, I just wouldn't answer.

Started as fantasy then turned serious but we did a LOT of talking seriously about it first.

Thank you....

I'd imagine that having been together for 27 years ish helped with that, you had the established relationship, the trust and love were established as well.

Why, thank you.

Having been together for 27 years had benefits for sure but also threw up other questions.

It's 40 years now that we've been together. I'm not going to tell you it's been easy because that wouldn't be true. We're both different people in some respects to the ones who first met each other. Longevity in a relationship is in many ways down to luck as much as hard work I think. Where we've been lucky is that we share the same basic values and we've grown together rather than apart.

Although Mr N did but a cement mixer recently...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*buy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t have experience with swinging relationships and couples profiles but I would be asking the following questions.

Are we both looking for a plus 1 to join us, female, would she playing with both or just the woman? Male, wiling to cross swords?

Other couples for full swap?

Would you each be able to meet others and play separately?

Have both of you already seen each other having sex with someone else?

Is there absolute trust and love there? Do you know and feel that you are each other’s ones, do you have each other’s hearts?

Some people in this world can be spiteful, see a happy couple and almost make it into a game where they try and prize one half of the couple away and see if they can make their head turn.

How would each person handle that?

You’d only need a small seed of doubt planted and maybe one of you not to answer a text one evening or not be available and it could get your cogs turning, thinking are they out meeting someone behind your back.

There would have to be absolute trust, both of you would have to be so confident in yourselves and your relationship.

I take my hat off to any woman that could happily watch her man shagging another woman, I couldn’t do it.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I did have one with a fab friend, we werent in a relationship but had been meeting/chatting for about a ýear. It was more an exercise for him to just be able to chat to more people about his fantasies with the better pull a couple profile has. We quickly realised it would prove pretty impossible to ever meet anyone, us being miles away and hardly able to ever meet and then arranging with other couples who were also just fab couples and and different ends of the world too

That does clear up some other questions in my head a bit. If you can get chatting with like minded couples I can see how it would be good for fantasies and scenarios....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did meet someone special and if we did want to swing together I'd rather our relationship be trustworthy and established first. So probably at least a year or more. At least.

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Turks up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

Apparently I'm not allowed to call them that. So I shall change my answer to....

Thanks Yvaine. Similar to the Delights up there then. That's pretty much what I would think too...

"The Turks"...

So impersonal....asking me to wax your bumhole one day...forgotten my name the next

so fickle..."

Fabulous response

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I did once had a couples profile as I went exclusive with a single guy. I mean I was having one on one meets only with him. We decided to set it up after 8months

Thanks PD.... was it something you'd mentioned sooner or was it at that time that the subject came up and then you set it up soon after the initial chat?

I think that's very true. I would say as a married couple there should already be a base level of strength and communication otherwise that's not going to be a solid marriage foundation never mind a successful swinging marriage, so as fwb going in you definitely need to build that first.

Humble opinions (or not humble) are exactly what I'm looking for!

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By *erms and conditionsCouple
over a year ago

Alton

The whole thing hadn't even registered with us until we were approached by a couple we knew interested in having some fun.

That didn't go to plan as it turned out she was looking for an excuse to vanish on certain nights to see her bf that hubby didn't know about but it left us wondering about what we could do.

It really started with some dogging then we found a club and thought f*** it and then the door flew open.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"We'd been together about 27 years when the subject first came up. It probably took about a month of serious talking before we signed up to a swinging site but a lot longer of fantasy talk.

There's been a lot of water flow under the bridge in that time.

Did it start off as a fantasy discussion between you (again, I'm aware I'm being nosey so do tell me to butt out if you want) or come up some other way and then turn to fantasy chat and then serious?

Lol, I wouldn't tell you to butt out, I just wouldn't answer.

Started as fantasy then turned serious but we did a LOT of talking seriously about it first.

Thank you....

I'd imagine that having been together for 27 years ish helped with that, you had the established relationship, the trust and love were established as well.

Why, thank you.

Having been together for 27 years had benefits for sure but also threw up other questions.

Although Mr N did but a cement mixer recently...

Nice of him to make it easy for you to lay the patio I say!

I agree with you about luck as much as anything else being important for longevity in a relationship. People can change so much as they grow and it is lucky to find someone who you can grow with, and who still loves the person you are as you change over the years.

Sadly I think it is far rarer than humanity would like it to be, and much of the time people don't value each other as much as they used to. But that's another thread entirely lol.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"The whole thing hadn't even registered with us until we were approached by a couple we knew interested in having some fun.

That didn't go to plan as it turned out she was looking for an excuse to vanish on certain nights to see her bf that hubby didn't know about but it left us wondering about what we could do.

It really started with some dogging then we found a club and thought f*** it and then the door flew open.

It must have been quite the surprise to be approached out of the blue like that. But they helped open that door for you guys and that's brilliant that you've found you both enjoy living the swinger lifestyle (I'm assuming that's the case lol)

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By *erms and conditionsCouple
over a year ago

Alton

"The whole thing hadn't even registered with us until we were approached by a couple we knew interested in having some fun.

That didn't go to plan as it turned out she was looking for an excuse to vanish on certain nights to see her bf that hubby didn't know about but it left us wondering about what we could do.

It really started with some dogging then we found a club and thought f*** it and then the door flew open.

She was gorgeous and he was hilarious. Shame their entire relationship exploded very soon after that proposal... Think we're doing it better (if a little slow)

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Get a cuppa, now, are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin!

We introduced other people to our sex life within about six months of getting together. Singles, couples, groups - we tried a lot of combinations! Then I got the fear due to my job so we knocked it on the head - then life intervened, marriage, kids, blah blah blah. It remained a fantasy and something we frequently talked about during sex but I didn't think we would go back to it.

Looking back I honestly don't know why we started - I don't remember having a big chat. We were both out of long term relationships and excited about spreading our wings, I think. We were also bloody lucky that things didn't go seriously awry with us as our relationship was so new! Current me would have urged past me to proceed with A LOT more caution.

Fast forward to two years ago when a friend revealed to me on a d*unken night out that she and her husband were swingers. They introduced us to the world of fab and clubs. It's been like a rocket under our sex life and reminded us of the incredible compatibility we have which had got a little lost along the way. We've become more experimental with each other, more open, and closer than ever.

This year has got me thinking about our swinging future. We'd be perfectly happy to leave it all behind - it's not something we "need" in our relationship. But it is something we both get a lot out of and has brought nothing but positive benefits to us.

The critical thing for us this time round has been: if we try something and one of us doesn't like it, no harm done. We're secure enough in our relationship to give different things a go and be able to be honest with each other about how we feel. The most important thing is always our relationship with each other.

Here endeth the lesson. Go in peace, my children.

Mrs TMN x

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line."

I couldn't agree more about that, as I said earlier. And again, it bamboozles me.

You have said it's not something you would try, would that be for a fwb or a girlfriend/wife or both would you say?

And do you think you would feel differently if that person was not an active forumite?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that secure relationship is important and a lot of that is just time. My last relationship was over 20 yrs and many many up and downs but you do have the security of knowing each other. After initial intrigue I would have been quite happy for him to have found someone to do anal with and other things, (please god

)and it would have been fun to watch. For various other reasons it would never have been.

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"The whole thing hadn't even registered with us until we were approached by a couple we knew interested in having some fun.

That didn't go to plan as it turned out she was looking for an excuse to vanish on certain nights to see her bf that hubby didn't know about but it left us wondering about what we could do.

It really started with some dogging then we found a club and thought f*** it and then the door flew open.

She was gorgeous and he was hilarious. Shame their entire relationship exploded very soon after that proposal... Think we're doing it better (if a little slow)"

Slow and steady wins the race they say, whomever "they" may be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you not think it’s a bit pathetic and slightly nasty to quote every single persons response but ignore mine? It’s fine. I’ll know in future to never comment on any of the FSC threads again.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Do you not think it’s a bit pathetic and slightly nasty to quote every single persons response but ignore mine? It’s fine. I’ll know in future to never comment on any of the FSC threads again. "

I'm sure it's not intentional, calm down

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

After being married for a number of years it was a long chat on a rather long and boring drive to Glasgow and back in the day that we got on to the subject of our pre meeting sex lives. S revealed a very naughty past with 3somes 4somes and the like. Z came clean and was as pure as the driven snow but liked the idea of what S had admitted to. Next day we had a Fab profile and have loved the encounters we have had over the last 16 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you both continue to meet alone now? I think establish what it is you both want from swinging, talk lots and only do what's right for you both x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you not think it’s a bit pathetic and slightly nasty to quote every single persons response but ignore mine? It’s fine. I’ll know in future to never comment on any of the FSC threads again.

I'm sure it's intentional, calm down

It’s a continued pattern of behaviour towards me amongst an established friendship group. This was my last straw of trying to be nice.

It’s not something you would notice personally as it doesn’t concern you. You aren’t qualified to answer on someone else’s behalf when you don’t know the intent.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

"Having a muse and a chat with my fabulous bubble buddy about couples profiles.

Couples who knew from the beginning that you were both living the lifestyle how long did it take you?

And couples who didn't start off as swingers, what did it take for you to decide and how long after the decision did you sign up as a couple on here or elsewhere?

Myself and Kitty were discussing this yesterday. I think we’d both want to explore each other before bringing others in! Maybe see what each other likes etc!

I am with you on that....

We basically tried it too quickly, we had no idea what we wanted to do! So once we had been together for a while we had a bit of an idea what we wanted, it was a lot better!

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

First. It was unintentional. I did not look back far enough after answering Nicecouple561 and being slightly distracted by life. Sorry for making you think I was ignoring your contribution.

Second. I do not feel that calling me pathetic and nasty just because I missed one comment is fair. You could have given me the benefit of the doubt and pointed it out in a kinder fashion. I have never been nasty to you Annie, only ever queried your comments.

Third. What do you mean by FSC threads? I'm not aware of this term although I feel it is likely to be something derogatory given the way in which you are using it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m out.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line."

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?"

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE"

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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m out. "

I think that is a shame as I have read your post and have questions regarding it, but there seems little point in me asking them if you will not be replying.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Do you think that the couples profile could be one of the reasons that the relationships you mention implode?"

Indirectly yes, but only from the perspective that one or other, or both of them weren't actually ready for it.

The reasons that type of "couples profiles" tend to implode are because they weren't actually established relationships when they were set up, but "relationships" still very much in the early stages of being formed when people don't truly know each other and may have only actually met a handful of times, so it still "seems" exciting and wonderful, when in fact the foundations of that relationship haven't actually been set.

Inevitably one or the other or both of them starts to see things differently and as we all know something built without foundations tends to crumble at the first sign of stormy weather.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Whilst we’ve only been together relatively early we’ve talked about everything and been talking for a long time...and due to lockdown our relationship has been condensed to a point where we feel like we’ve been together for a lot longer.

There have been instances of established friendships thinking there was still a chance of meeting alone but we’ve talked about them and dealt with them. But most have just accepted we are a couple now.

Communication is definitely the key...we talk about everything. So we both know we are on the same page in terms of what we want out of FAB and we trust each other implicitly.

If the fun stops for either one of us we’ll both happily be done with FAB and continue our relationship away from FAB.

It’s not due to the lack of a sex life we want to do this - far from it. We see inviting others into our world as an enhancement.

But without good communication and trust I can imagine it being a problem for singles going into couples profiles.

I’ve also seen comments about the males stock raising now in a couples profile. I’m not interested in meeting anyone else as a single...we are a couple, we meet together or not at all. My head isn’t turned at all as I have all I need in C.

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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago

S. Northants

We have known we were interested in this lifestyle for about 8 or 9 years. We tried for ages, with no luck, to meet someone and had a blog and twitter running for our fantasies.

Someone then recommended to us we try Fab about 4 or 5 years ago.we hadn't heard of it before. Being cuckquean we attracted some abuse and didn't meet anyone first time around apart from lots of fantasists. We came off for a bit when ST had a baby, but now back for good hopefully. When this lockdown/covid ends we're hoping to expand our boundaries a lot!

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

On Holibobs

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE""

Ahhh yes that makes sense

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE""

I think some also see it as a personal affront, especially if they've previously met or chatted to the guy...sort of "well I'M better than HER, so I'm going to go all out to show him that"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m out.

I think that is a shame as I have read your post and have questions regarding it, but there seems little point in me asking them if you will not be replying."

Without derailing from the topic. It did look like I was being purposely ignored when the people directly above and all the other new comments below mine were responsed to, even double quoted. Add that to the circles you’re in, the people who are quite vocal in telling me I’m nasty and this and that and the other. Being called nasty when I’m not even trying to be nasty isn’t pleasant.

I’ll take your word that you weren’t intentionally leaving me out. No issues my end.

I cant really offer much in the way of advice because I don’t have experience with swinging, only to protect your heart. Communicate well, you should be able to discuss all possible circumstances with your partner and there should be an agreement that if one of you isn’t comfortable with any part of swinging then you’d both stop.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE"

I think some also see it as a personal affront, especially if they've previously met or chatted to the guy...sort of "well I'M better than HER, so I'm going to go all out to show him that"

That too.

For others it could be that they simply don't like one half of the couple, and that they couldn't think of a "nicer" way to hurt them than bed their partner or cause rifts between the couple. For some it really is a "competition they intend on winning"

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE""

I think PP answered it correctly in her usual coloured way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow it's more of a minefield than i thought

I have been exploring one, but more for us to meet with like minded people/couples in a club /dungeon setting. The conversations so far have been very enlightening and already we're into very complex territory and learning a lot about each other

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE"

I think PP answered it correctly in her usual coloured way

They'd never admit it tho, coz that would drop the veil. They'll accuse you of being controlling instead, but not to you, to the person they want to meet. Cast the seed of doubt in their mind that way.

All very manipulatory, predatory and calculated, hidden behind a virtuous claim of what "real swinging" is all about. Freedom to sleep with whoever they want ....

Funny that, I thought it was about respect.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

We were together as a couple before we discussed swinging. It came up as part of a conversation early on in our relationship. But something we put aside initially. Then it became fantasy we spoke about and then we followed through. But then covid hit, so it's on the back burner for a while.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE"

I think PP answered it correctly in her usual coloured way

All very manipulatory, predatory and calculated, hidden behind a virtuous claim of what "real swinging" is all about. Freedom to sleep with whoever they want ....

Funny that, I thought it was about respect.

I feel a bit sheltered

or naive maybe. I'd honestly never considered this.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

It's really interesting seeing the different responses, especially those about couples who met on fab.

I can't comment from personal experience but it seems there's something around what brought you to fab as a single - looking for a relationship, NSA sex, being in the swinging lifestyle, poly, etc etc. I guess you have to be very clear in your own mind about what you want in a relationship and we aren't always honest with ourselves, or we simply don't know until we're in that situation. Am I on the right track here?

Mrs TMN x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Has anyone had experience of being a couple first then got into swinging, and then went on to be singles and then started a swinging relationship? Is it different as you know your limits what you're comfortable more from previous experience?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

And if it's someone from the forums, be prepared for some reactions that you perhaps didn't envisage...unfortunately not everyone is going to be happy for you.

I imagine it is so easy to be on the same page but yet still be reading things differently. I like the analogy of same sentence as well."

That was a really good analogy from Lily I missed in my comment and very apt

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"Has anyone had experience of being a couple first then got into swinging, and then went on to be singles and then started a swinging relationship? Is it different as you know your limits what you're comfortable more from previous experience? "

I've done the first two...and I can imagine it being a lot, not easier as such, but more straightforward in a way to move into a swinging relationship now. If I liken it to driving a car, when I first started out I was very comfortable being a passenger, but then I was suddenly behind the steering wheel. I had to learn where everything was and what to do. Now I've been driving for years, so it would be like just getting into a different car...I'm familiar with the basics, but a few buttons might be in different places, and there might be a particular knack to putting it in second gear, I need to learn the cars personal quirks before I can go on a road trip

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I’m out.

I think that is a shame as I have read your post and have questions regarding it, but there seems little point in me asking them if you will not be replying.

I’ll take your word that you weren’t intentionally leaving me out. No issues my end.

Annie this is the second time in a week I’ve seen you become confrontational over a thread and your comments. Sometimes people miss posts by scrolling back and trying to keep pace. It’s not all about you being ignored, sometimes you’re childish behaviour goes against you. Hold you’re tongue rather than create animosity for all to see ....

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Every car has its own shape gear shift

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I've seen too many couple profiles crash and burn, especially if both people are active forumites, so no, it's not something I think i'd try.

If i've become very close to someone, they will become my one and only priority and spending time with them would no longer count as just a "fab meet". That's enough for me.

I'd also agree with an earlier comment that if a guy becomes coupled up with a forumite that their "market value" and interest increases noticeably and this can cause trouble down the line.

Re market value...Is that because he is entering a relationship so is essentially out of bounds that the interest in him increases?

I think it's more the "oh look, he is willing to commit.... well I want him to commit to MEEEEEEEEE"

I think PP answered it correctly in her usual coloured way

All very manipulatory, predatory and calculated, hidden behind a virtuous claim of what "real swinging" is all about. Freedom to sleep with whoever they want ....

Funny that, I thought it was about respect.

I think that’s exactly where “ not on the same page” comes in. Swinging couples either totally get one another’s needs and enjoy the experience or ... they’re a couple as in predatory terms - those are the ones we see later played out in public

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I had a 4 year long, monogamous relationship after a year of swinging.

At the time, tho I liked the idea of it, I couldn't have been a swinger as part of a couple. I didn't trust him enough and I hated myself, confidence was shot! I spent much of my relationship still on site but just chatting and using the forums. But when we split I went right back to meeting and clubs. I stayed single for over 3 years and was adamant I never wanted another relationship.

Then I met J...

We have a completely different relationship. We adore one another and trust each other implicitly. What we have without swinging is fucking incredible...we simply choose to share part of it with others and expand our experiences together.

I can't imagine swinging ever not being part of our lifestyle...not because we need it but because we enjoy it. Swinging is fun. But when it's just us...

It's different because of us...swinging adds to what we already have, which is rock solid. Without that foundation, we wouldn't be able to enjoy it...wouldn'tbe worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a quick scan and don't think her ladyship has replied.

We met on here as singles and were dating for over a year before we tried a couple profile. Obviously, having met on here we were aware of each others openness to sexual exploration and we have both been far more open with each other sexually than with any previous partners. There is literally nothing either of us could say as a fantasy scenario that would freak the other out, we are very comfortable with the distinction between what is in the mind and how we would behave in reality. That said, it is harder to separate out actual play and emotions so it took us a while to learn what does and doesn't work while swinging - and this is ongoing.

I think we needed the strength and trust that you build in early days to negotiate the start of this path though that doesn't mean it can't be done in other ways. It is quite possible that a relationship in its early days can grow with swinging already in place - you could learn boundaries while there are less emotions involved. I suspect though that this would lead to the swinging shaping the relationship rather than the other way round. Whether that's a good or bad thing is up to you.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I met my partner Jack here 5 years ago

We took some time away for ourselves and then decided we wanted to swing together

Created a couple profile about 5 months later and been here ever since.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When i met my partner we didnt stop swinging just started to do stuff together as well as seperatly

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I like this analogy thank you

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Couples profiles - how quick?