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Toast (Jones)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Toast is one of the best things since sliced bread, it’s up there with the wheel and post it notes. Toast was first invented by a man called Arthur Jones, (you thought I was going to say Sir Geoffrey Toast, or some shit didn’t you) it occurred to Sir Geoffrey Toast one day while buttering the bread that the butter was too hard to spread, he surmised spreadable butter was still along way off so he thought that the bread surface needed to be harder and warm, but how would he go about this.

At first he needed to devise away of making toast from bread, so he got some of the greatest minds together who spent months trying to figure out how it could be done, at the meeting the tea boy our hero Arthur Jones humbly suggested why not put bread under a grill, one Professor yelled ‘That will only do one side you fool!’ Arthur said you simply turn it over when it’s done, to go the other side. All the professors looked at each other, they knew they were in the presence of a genius. Thus toast was born, Jones remained uncredited and penniless in his life time, really by rights toast should be called Jones, this happened way back in 1983, a halycon year for inventions.

So, have you tried toast, do you know anyone that’s tried toast, what’s your favourite setting on your toaster, do you have tea and toast, is your tea and toast both the same shade, do you think toasters should be see through so you can see what shades of brown the toast is at, do you leave your crusts, if you do leave crusts why do you leave your crusts, don’t you know they put hairs on your chest, all this and more on a thread dedicated to toast (Jones) ?!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

My tea is green. When my toast is green, I tend to put the bread in the compost bin rather than in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like toast, all kinds of toast. Proper uncut bread, cut and toasted. I like the pre cut stuff too. Cheese on toast, marmite and jam, but not together

Our chef (Nanna Pat) at work makes toast for me everyday, today She made me crumpets. But I still ate them.

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

In 1926 I had brunch with a chemist named Louis Camille Maillard who claimed to have invented toast and that’s had patented the product. He said it would revolutionise the way we consumed baked beans. Obviously he was wrong and deluded.

The idea didn’t catch on.

The idea of toast was to advanced for its age, the problem was keeping the toast fresh, of course these days frozen toast is making it possible for ordinary folks to enjoy this delicacy in their own home.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Today I had toast with soup!! What were the chances you would make a thread about toast!!

Spooky innit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's white bread, brown bread, all kinds of wholemeal bread...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In 1926 I had brunch with a chemist named Louis Camille Maillard who claimed to have invented toast and that’s had patented the product. He said it would revolutionise the way we consumed baked beans. Obviously he was wrong and deluded.

The idea didn’t catch on.

The idea of toast was to advanced for its age, the problem was keeping the toast fresh, of course these days frozen toast is making it possible for ordinary folks to enjoy this delicacy in their own home. "

Very much so, it saves so much time, simply get your frozen toast and defrost it in the microwave for 8 minutes, thus cutting out the hassle of using the toaster. Did you know the machine that arranged Rage Against the Machine so much, was in fact the toaster!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There's white bread, brown bread, all kinds of wholemeal bread..."

You can toast it, sauté it, bake it, broil it. There’s white toast, brown toast, whole meal toast, granary toast, shrimp toast. That’s about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crusts make your hair curly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Today I had toast with soup!! What were the chances you would make a thread about toast!!

Spooky innit "

First our love of watching Grand tours and now toast!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Crusts make your hair curly "

I’ve seen your hairy chest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like toast, all kinds of toast. Proper uncut bread, cut and toasted. I like the pre cut stuff too. Cheese on toast, marmite and jam, but not together

Our chef (Nanna Pat) at work makes toast for me everyday, today She made me crumpets. But I still ate them. "

Butter my crumpets, I like them with crunchy peanut butter on.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'd like to raise a toast to this thread.

Before anyone else makes the crap joke.

A

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester


"In 1926 I had brunch with a chemist named Louis Camille Maillard who claimed to have invented toast and that’s had patented the product. He said it would revolutionise the way we consumed baked beans. Obviously he was wrong and deluded.

The idea didn’t catch on.

The idea of toast was to advanced for its age, the problem was keeping the toast fresh, of course these days frozen toast is making it possible for ordinary folks to enjoy this delicacy in their own home.

Very much so, it saves so much time, simply get your frozen toast and defrost it in the microwave for 8 minutes, thus cutting out the hassle of using the toaster. Did you know the machine that arranged Rage Against the Machine so much, was in fact the toaster! "

I did not know that but it makes sense, because they are tricky and unreliable, it’s difficult to know how much coal they need.

The band toploader are named after the toaster, the band were so amazed when they first encountered a top loading toaster that they renamed their band which had been previously performing under the name salamander grill. If you play any toploader song backwards you will hear the recipe and serving suggestions for Welsh rarebit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like toast, all kinds of toast. Proper uncut bread, cut and toasted. I like the pre cut stuff too. Cheese on toast, marmite and jam, but not together

Our chef (Nanna Pat) at work makes toast for me everyday, today She made me crumpets. But I still ate them.

Butter my crumpets, I like them with crunchy peanut butter on."

But do you have it on toast though?

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

I love toast, if I had one food choice to eat every day for the rest of my life and nothing else it would be toast, it’s got to be golden brown (so setting 4) and hot with lashings of butter, just scrummy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I like toast, all kinds of toast. Proper uncut bread, cut and toasted. I like the pre cut stuff too. Cheese on toast, marmite and jam, but not together

Our chef (Nanna Pat) at work makes toast for me everyday, today She made me crumpets. But I still ate them.

Butter my crumpets, I like them with crunchy peanut butter on.

But do you have it on toast though?

"

Yes, it’s my favourite.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Stevie wonder is such a huge fan of toast (even though he has no idea what it looks like and thinks it's some kind of fluffy animal) that he personally insisted on a piece of it to fly in the sky in the video for I just called to say I love you.

He still thinks toast has wings.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Crusts make your hair curly

I’ve seen your hairy chest. "

You and many, many others

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In 1926 I had brunch with a chemist named Louis Camille Maillard who claimed to have invented toast and that’s had patented the product. He said it would revolutionise the way we consumed baked beans. Obviously he was wrong and deluded.

The idea didn’t catch on.

The idea of toast was to advanced for its age, the problem was keeping the toast fresh, of course these days frozen toast is making it possible for ordinary folks to enjoy this delicacy in their own home.

Very much so, it saves so much time, simply get your frozen toast and defrost it in the microwave for 8 minutes, thus cutting out the hassle of using the toaster. Did you know the machine that arranged Rage Against the Machine so much, was in fact the toaster!

I did not know that but it makes sense, because they are tricky and unreliable, it’s difficult to know how much coal they need.

The band toploader are named after the toaster, the band were so amazed when they first encountered a top loading toaster that they renamed their band which had been previously performing under the name salamander grill. If you play any toploader song backwards you will hear the recipe and serving suggestions for Welsh rarebit. "

These are some amazing facts about popular beat combo Toploader!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love toast, if I had one food choice to eat every day for the rest of my life and nothing else it would be toast, it’s got to be golden brown (so setting 4) and hot with lashings of butter, just scrummy "

I concur, if only you get all your vitamins and minerals in toast and butter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd like to raise a toast to this thread.

Before anyone else makes the crap joke.

A"

Or raise a Jones to it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Stevie wonder is such a huge fan of toast (even though he has no idea what it looks like and thinks it's some kind of fluffy animal) that he personally insisted on a piece of it to fly in the sky in the video for I just called to say I love you.

He still thinks toast has wings.

A"

Flying toast is the future.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Crusts make your hair curly

I’ve seen your hairy chest.

You and many, many others "

Yeah, the queue was around the block.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

White toast for pudding of course

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks. "

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Who invented the device to cure infections of the foot .... otherwise known as the toe sting fork?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks. "

I do everything Nigella says.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

I do everything Estella says."

Good boy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating "

I watched her spank a pomegranate once! Jeebus! That was an existential moment I will never forget

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating

I watched her spank a pomegranate once! Jeebus! That was an existential moment I will never forget "

I’d spank you, Missy.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating

I watched her spunk on a pomegranate once! Jeebus! That was an existential moment I will never forget "

Spunk on a pomegranate? Nigella obviously likes to spread her special sauce a bit further than we realised

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating

I watched her spank a pomegranate once! Jeebus! That was an existential moment I will never forget

I’d spank you, Missy. "

Can I call you Nigella as you do

Just make sure that wooden spoon has no splinters

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating

I watched her spank a pomegranate once! Jeebus! That was an existential moment I will never forget "

Is that on iPlayer? I think I want to be a pomegranate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating

I watched her spunk on a pomegranate once! Jeebus! That was an existential moment I will never forget

Spunk on a pomegranate? Nigella obviously likes to spread her special sauce a bit further than we realised "

What is this mysterious magicness you evoke!

*Waves wooden spoon and thwacks*

Mischief managed

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I watched Nigella on the telly the other day teaching the double spread...butter the toast straight out of the toaster so it all soaks in, then butter again on top of this a few moments later. Heart attack waiting to happen methinks.

Very irresponsible. Nigella's programme should carry an R rating

I watched her spunk on a pomegranate once! Jeebus! That was an existential moment I will never forget

Spunk on a pomegranate? Nigella obviously likes to spread her special sauce a bit further than we realised

What is this mysterious magicness you evoke!

*Waves wooden spoon and thwacks Kinky lady firmly on the arse*

Mischief managed "

I'll consider my arse to be firmly spanked

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"In 1926 I had brunch with a chemist named Louis Camille Maillard who claimed to have invented toast and that’s had patented the product. He said it would revolutionise the way we consumed baked beans. Obviously he was wrong and deluded.

The idea didn’t catch on.

The idea of toast was to advanced for its age, the problem was keeping the toast fresh, of course these days frozen toast is making it possible for ordinary folks to enjoy this delicacy in their own home.

Very much so, it saves so much time, simply get your frozen toast and defrost it in the microwave for 8 minutes, thus cutting out the hassle of using the toaster. Did you know the machine that arranged Rage Against the Machine so much, was in fact the toaster! "

I heard it was a Nespresso machine, but what do I know

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Toast is one of the best things since sliced bread, it’s up there with the wheel and post it notes. Toast was first invented by a man called Arthur Jones, (you thought I was going to say Sir Geoffrey Toast, or some shit didn’t you) it occurred to Sir Geoffrey Toast one day while buttering the bread that the butter was too hard to spread, he surmised spreadable butter was still along way off so he thought that the bread surface needed to be harder and warm, but how would he go about this.

At first he needed to devise away of making toast from bread, so he got some of the greatest minds together who spent months trying to figure out how it could be done, at the meeting the tea boy our hero Arthur Jones humbly suggested why not put bread under a grill, one Professor yelled ‘That will only do one side you fool!’ Arthur said you simply turn it over when it’s done, to go the other side. All the professors looked at each other, they knew they were in the presence of a genius. Thus toast was born, Jones remained uncredited and penniless in his life time, really by rights toast should be called Jones, this happened way back in 1983, a halycon year for inventions.

So, have you tried toast, do you know anyone that’s tried toast, what’s your favourite setting on your toaster, do you have tea and toast, is your tea and toast both the same shade, do you think toasters should be see through so you can see what shades of brown the toast is at, do you leave your crusts, if you do leave crusts why do you leave your crusts, don’t you know they put hairs on your chest, all this and more on a thread dedicated to toast (Jones) ?!"

Ahhhhhhh I came to this thread looking for mention of see through toasters - and I was not disappointed

Mrs TMN x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Has anyone got a talking toaster?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Toast is one of the best things since sliced bread, it’s up there with the wheel and post it notes. Toast was first invented by a man called Arthur Jones, (you thought I was going to say Sir Geoffrey Toast, or some shit didn’t you) it occurred to Sir Geoffrey Toast one day while buttering the bread that the butter was too hard to spread, he surmised spreadable butter was still along way off so he thought that the bread surface needed to be harder and warm, but how would he go about this.

At first he needed to devise away of making toast from bread, so he got some of the greatest minds together who spent months trying to figure out how it could be done, at the meeting the tea boy our hero Arthur Jones humbly suggested why not put bread under a grill, one Professor yelled ‘That will only do one side you fool!’ Arthur said you simply turn it over when it’s done, to go the other side. All the professors looked at each other, they knew they were in the presence of a genius. Thus toast was born, Jones remained uncredited and penniless in his life time, really by rights toast should be called Jones, this happened way back in 1983, a halycon year for inventions.

So, have you tried toast, do you know anyone that’s tried toast, what’s your favourite setting on your toaster, do you have tea and toast, is your tea and toast both the same shade, do you think toasters should be see through so you can see what shades of brown the toast is at, do you leave your crusts, if you do leave crusts why do you leave your crusts, don’t you know they put hairs on your chest, all this and more on a thread dedicated to toast (Jones) ?!

Ahhhhhhh I came to this thread looking for mention of see through toasters - and I was not disappointed

Mrs TMN x"

I’m so predictable. I had to shoe horn it in there somewhere.

*note to self, don’t mention see through toasters again, they’re on to you.

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