FabSwingers.com forum: Gym fit vs Overweight

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

From my own personal experiences and also from reading some threads, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s different rules for different people.

If a guy is gym fit/muscley/ripped then its perfectly fine to make assumptions that he would be a selfish lover, using steds, vain, arrogant, in love with himself etc.

Also if a woman is slim and confident with her body and states that she’s happy with how she looks then it’s fine to say that she’s vain, arrogant, self absorbed, up her own arse etc.

Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.

How is this fair?

Why is it okay to make assumptions about a group of people who exercise, eat healthily and keep themselves trim and in shape, by assumptions I mean being told they make selfish lovers, would care more about themselves than another person and could possibly use steds and be potentially violent. Why is that okay yet if someone said if a person is overweight they’re lazy, don’t care about their health etc.

These are just my observations feel free to give your thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never assume. It makes a dick out of everyone.

As the saying goes.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Neither are okay. People are always shitty to each other. I've been overweight and I've been barely a size 6. People shit on you at every size.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Neither are okay. People are always shitty to each other. I've been overweight and I've been barely a size 6. People shit on you at every size. "

Agreed.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I dont give a flying fuck what other people think of me i love myself and am confident within. Who cares what others think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yey another chubby bashing thread

I've been gym fit and overweight and never referred to as selfish....

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

When did "fair" ever matter to anything in life?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I dont give a flying fuck what other people think of me i love myself and am confident within. Who cares what others think"

This is the only way to be, as long as you're happy with how you look than who care what others want to assume.

If people don't take the time to find out then they will never know.

Having said this I'm going to assume that most people that drop by think I'm a arsehole as they just keep perving me without dropping a message

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Unfortunately double standards abound and not just about weight or looks. People can be twats for all manner of reasons.

Personally I feel that personality traits such as being vain, arrogant or self absorbed are displayed by a persons words and actions rather than by their physical appearance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get positive and negative comments on both.

I think you're seeing what you're more conscious of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's only fairly recently that body acceptance has become a thing and it's not just constricted to gym fit Vs overweight. It's prevelant in black Vs white, men Vs women, rich Vs poor, gay Vs straight etc.

I think we've become a society where we're trying so hard to be accepting of the minority (or previously persecuted) that people feel the majority should be scrutinised and shamed as a result.

My take on it is that it's not a competition, we all have a type of people we like as friends or lovers, but to make that circle as big as possible and if someone pisses you off, it should just be because your personalities don't match

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh yey another chubby bashing thread

I've been gym fit and overweight and never referred to as selfish...."

Where have I bashed anyone? Just making an observation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will body shame others regardless of size. Sadly it's the world we live in.

Everyone should love themselves and be proud of who they are. That doesn't come from their weight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More research for your book?

Are you now seconded from Sydney uni?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Don’t you feel that threads like this only serve to embed even more body shaming or self criticism than is already here in the forums?

You’re just highlighting over weight people who perhaps may already have personal issues

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

the most fittest guy on here who starts fitness threads is _hagtonight and (maybe he has)but ive never seen him called out.on it. Im in awe of his dedication. Maybe your just biased in what you see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People suck.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Unfortunately double standards abound and not just about weight or looks. People can be twats for all manner of reasons.

Personally I feel that personality traits such as being vain, arrogant or self absorbed are displayed by a persons words and actions rather than by their physical appearance. "

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Don’t you feel that threads like this only serve to embed even more body shaming or self criticism than is already here in the forums?

You’re just highlighting over weight people who perhaps may already have personal issues"

Couldn't agree more DC

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Unfortunately double standards abound and not just about weight or looks. People can be twats for all manner of reasons.

Personally I feel that personality traits such as being vain, arrogant or self absorbed are displayed by a persons words and actions rather than by their physical appearance. "

And this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t you feel that threads like this only serve to embed even more body shaming or self criticism than is already here in the forums?

You’re just highlighting over weight people who perhaps may already have personal issues"

Well said

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

“Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.”

That’s not strictly true though. Certainly not on Fab. It’s alluded to that fat folk (particularly women) are jealous, delusional, just being used and are lazy. I’m sure some fella will be along shortly to point out that the odds favour women on here and that’s why so many unattractive women get laid etc blah blah blah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time I've ever thought gym fit guys might be vapid fuckboys is when they approach me and I can't in all honesty understand why. It makes me think they're cocky "any hole is a goal" type lads. But other than that I've always admired people who have been able to take care of themselves really well.

As for celebrating overweight people, I think it's because historically we've always been shat on so much, whereas fit people have always been admired and idealised. It's only in recent years that body positivity has really become a thing, so it's kind of our moment to shine.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I don't think anyone has said it's OK. Yes, I've seen body shaming of all kinds on here, but I don't agree that it's accepted by the majority.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been shamed alot more for my size now than I was when I was slim.

I used to dance, kickbox, box and swim and had a very toned physique.

I was never accused of being vain, arrogant or on steroids?

As a chubbier woman I have had the words fat, greedy, lazy and others similar thrown at me more.

I am alot more confident now than I ever was aswell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For every person who doesn't like me there is someone who does like me.

That's all good with me

*flies off back to talk dirty on the Tgirls thread*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the phrase "you can't please all of the people all of the time" is particularly apt.

Plough your own furrow and don't worry what other people think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the above comments about shaming people being wrong regardless of size.

Larger ladies get lots of flack too: strain on nhs, its your own fault your fat, fat woman should be humble and shag who ever wants their gross bodies, fat women have ‘let them selves go’

The list goes on.

People who want to give me grief and make assumptions about me due to my body are not people i want to interact with. Bollox to them!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"“Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.”

Haven't we just had like 20 threads about how less attractive/out of shape women have too high standards above their station?

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I think people to stop being assholes

Like someone's body? Cool, go tell them. Maybe have a cheeky wank looking at their pictures.

Don't like someone's body? Maybe go fuck off and not say anything

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"“Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.”

Haven't we just had like 20 threads about how less attractive/out of shape women have too high standards above their station?

"
op is definetly biased in what she sees

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"“Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.”

Haven't we just had like 20 threads about how less attractive/out of shape women have too high standards above their station?

Mmhm.

Although all women have ideas above our station. Duh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure some fella will be along shortly to point out that the odds favour women on here and that’s why so many unattractive women get laid etc blah blah blah.

I cannot stress enough how much hearing this over and over from men on fab has made me doubt myself. The truth is that in real life - not blowing my own horn here, but - I always used to get approached by really hot guys too (back when I had more of a social life). But now when someone hot messages me on here I instantly start thinking about all those comments about how hot guys will go for unattractive women on here because they don't have the choice etc.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"“Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.”

Haven't we just had like 20 threads about how less attractive/out of shape women have too high standards above their station?

Mmhm.

Although all women have ideas above our station. Duh

Of course!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Annie, you seem to have a real bee in your bonnet over body shape / size / people's weight.

Why do you think it matters so much to you that you feel the need to bring it up quite often? Especially given that, as people here have stated, no matter what body a person has, someone will always find a way to body shame them.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m sure some fella will be along shortly to point out that the odds favour women on here and that’s why so many unattractive women get laid etc blah blah blah.

Just because some men would shag anything with a hole (#notallmen etc) doesn't mean you aren't wonderful.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m sure some fella will be along shortly to point out that the odds favour women on here and that’s why so many unattractive women get laid etc blah blah blah.

This is exactly how I feel. Every time. I'm really hard work to get to know because I can't believe a guy actually likes me, just that they're settling for what they think will be an easy lay. Luckily some men think I'm worth the effort.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've been a size 10 (my hips don't get smaller). I've been a size 24. People have been shitty to me all the while.

I face societal privilege when I'm under a size 16, possibly a bit of bullshit when people notice that I'm muscular, but overall being thinner has been easier *in my experience* than being larger.

But we all have our issues to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So, are you saying that there are negative assumptions made of those who are gym fit but no negative assumptions are made of those who are overweight?

If so, you couldn't be more wrong. Perhaps you see it that way because you only see it from your perspective.

Body shaming is rife on here, even if indirectly. How many threads are there that celebrate a certain body type wherein there'll be numerous posts lauding one whilst indirectly shaming the opposite.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"The only time I've ever thought gym fit guys might be vapid fuckboys is when they approach me and I can't in all honesty understand why. It makes me think they're cocky "any hole is a goal" type lads. But other than that I've always admired people who have been able to take care of themselves really well.

So you think because a gym fit guy approached you it's just because he's desperate or a fuck boy etc?

Probably means you've missed out on meeting some friendly guys if that's the case and you didn't take the time to talk to them.

I'm not that amazing looking but I've had the pleasure of meeting some really stunning people that I wouldn't dream of approaching in public because I'd be worried they would laugh and tell me to dream on.

People like what they like at the end of the day, I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not. It's really that simple, weight doesn't come into it for me personally.

This message isn't meant to sound bad in any way and I hope it doesn't

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like someone's body? Cool, go tell them. Maybe have a cheeky wank looking at their pictures.

There are perves on this site?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you think because a gym fit guy approached you it's just because he's desperate or a fuck boy etc?

Probably means you've missed out on meeting some friendly guys if that's the case and you didn't take the time to talk to them.

People like what they like at the end of the day, I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not. It's really that simple, weight doesn't come into it for me personally.

This message isn't meant to sound bad in any way and I hope it doesn't

No, that's not what I meant at all. I've never rejected anyone for being too hot lol. I just meant that at first I'm usually taken aback, like "what are you doing trying it on with me, you're miles out of my league". And that I only started thinking this way after I had been exposed to all the shaming and "women get men who are out of their league" comments on the fab threads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Neither are okay. People are always shitty to each other. I've been overweight and I've been barely a size 6. People shit on you at every size. "

Haters gonna hate. It's a zero sum total.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

But as others have said they do get shit for being happy with how they look!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure some fella will be along shortly to point out that the odds favour women on here and that’s why so many unattractive women get laid etc blah blah blah.

Just because some men would shag anything with a hole (#notallmen etc) doesn't mean you aren't wonderful."

Thank you swing, I think you're pretty wonderful too

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

But they do.

You see what effects you and not the rest.

Don't you see the comments blasting fat people for draining the nhs?

Or the posts stating how fat women are easier/more grateful because they're desperate?

The mere fact that you keen going on and on about the subject makes it seem like you yourself have am issue with fat people.

You get so many negative responses because your posts are negative. Your statements of personal confidence are always followed by a negative comment or comparison to others.

Try a different approach and you may get a different response.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

"
maybe its not what you say but how you say it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Perhaps it is not what you are saying but the way you say it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I’m sure some fella will be along shortly to point out that the odds favour women on here and that’s why so many unattractive women get laid etc blah blah blah.

Just because some men would shag anything with a hole (#notallmen etc) doesn't mean you aren't wonderful.

Thank you swing, I think you're pretty wonderful too

That's because we're the same person duh (dear mods/ whoever - joke from another thread)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Has anyone ever really given you shit though? From reading your past threads on these topics I would say that people had more of an issue with HOW you said things rather than what you said.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

a little humility goes along way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m sure some fella will be along shortly to point out that the odds favour women on here and that’s why so many unattractive women get laid etc blah blah blah.

Just because some men would shag anything with a hole (#notallmen etc) doesn't mean you aren't wonderful.

Thank you swing, I think you're pretty wonderful too

That's because we're the same person duh (dear mods/ whoever - joke from another thread)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Has anyone ever really given you shit though? From reading your past threads on these topics I would say that people had more of an issue with HOW you said things rather than what you said. "

Exactly my perception

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Has anyone ever really given you shit though? From reading your past threads on these topics I would say that people had more of an issue with HOW you said things rather than what you said.

Exactly my perception

"
and mine

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Like someone's body? Cool, go tell them. Maybe have a cheeky wank looking at their pictures.

There are perves on this site?

Honestly I'm as shocked as you are

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Whilst I agree with your post in principle, I've yet to come across a bbw thread where someone hasn't mentioned how unhealthy it is, how much it's costing the nhs, how there's nothing beautiful about being fat etc.

I suppose people make assumptions ie that fit, gym toned people are narcissistic and don't put the effort in as they're God's gift.

Lazy serotypes don't upset me. If someone says something about a demographic I'm in I just look around to see who they're talking about as they sure ain't talking about me!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Has anyone ever really given you shit though? From reading your past threads on these topics I would say that people had more of an issue with HOW you said things rather than what you said.

Exactly my perception

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like someone's body? Cool, go tell them. Maybe have a cheeky wank looking at their pictures.

There are perves on this site?

Honestly I'm as shocked as you are

I'm one of the biggest ones

#pervert

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

So you think because a gym fit guy approached you it's just because he's desperate or a fuck boy etc?

Probably means you've missed out on meeting some friendly guys if that's the case and you didn't take the time to talk to them.

People like what they like at the end of the day, I'm either attracted to someone or I'm not. It's really that simple, weight doesn't come into it for me personally.

This message isn't meant to sound bad in any way and I hope it doesn't

I had to check just in case as it did sound like you may have, no one wants to miss out on the good times.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Has anyone ever really given you shit though? From reading your past threads on these topics I would say that people had more of an issue with HOW you said things rather than what you said.

Exactly my perception

and mine"

And mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbf Annie if I had a body like yours I wouldn't give two shits about getting approval from others.

(but personally, as an "undesirable", I kinda need the extra reassurance and validation

)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Tbf Annie if I had a body like yours I wouldn't give two shits about getting approval from others.

(but personally, as an "undesirable", I kinda need the extra reassurance and validation

) "

I stopped giving a shit at a size 18 and have continued to not give a shit as I keep losing weight/ body recomping

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Perhaps it is not what you are saying but the way you say it"

Sometimes things come across differently to others than what the person meant it to sound like.

This is the problem with text, it can be taken in lots of different ways depending on how you look at it

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Perhaps it is not what you are saying but the way you say it

Sometimes things come across differently to others than what the person meant it to sound like.

This is the problem with text, it can be taken in lots of different ways depending on how you look at it"

Yes. But if you get the same reaction from lots of quarters maybe you should rethink your approach. (All yous are general and I include myself in that)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbf Annie if I had a body like yours I wouldn't give two shits about getting approval from others.

(but personally, as an "undesirable", I kinda need the extra reassurance and validation

) "

You have a gorgeous body Amber. Slim doesn't equal attractive. Overweight doesn't equal unattractive...

I genuinely don't see weight/size as an indication of beauty.

Any comments that make slim sound positive and anything but sound negative are exactly what I'm opposed to. No body is wrong. Big or small, or any other factor. We are ALL different and like different things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been shamed alot more for my size now than I was when I was slim.

I used to dance, kickbox, box and swim and had a very toned physique.

I was never accused of being vain, arrogant or on steroids?

As a chubbier woman I have had the words fat, greedy, lazy and others similar thrown at me more.

I am alot more confident now than I ever was aswell."

You are just gorgeous x

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

Annie, step away from the forum...youve been doing so well lately

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

. "

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annie, step away from the forum...youve been doing so well lately"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbf Annie if I had a body like yours I wouldn't give two shits about getting approval from others.

(but personally, as an "undesirable", I kinda need the extra reassurance and validation

)

You have a gorgeous body Amber. Slim doesn't equal attractive. Overweight doesn't equal unattractive...

I genuinely don't see weight/size as an indication of beauty.

Thank you, but I just meant that I have always admired women who have perfectly toned bodies as it shows a lot of dedication and self control (in my opinion!). People like Kim K, JLO, reality stars etc. And it baffles me that any of them would ever feel self conscious or need to seek validation. But I guess we never know what others are going through.

Also, carrying on from my point about celebs, if you go on their Instas you'll see their comments sections absolutely heaving with trolls calling them ugly, fat, whores, basically every name under the sun. Look at a plus sized influencer's page and you'll also find the standard "obesity is unhealthy", "fat is unattractive" etc etc type of comments. You could be the most socially idealistic looking person in the world and still get hate; it's madness.

It's quite literally impossible to please everyone, so just please yourself

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbf Annie if I had a body like yours I wouldn't give two shits about getting approval from others.

(but personally, as an "undesirable", I kinda need the extra reassurance and validation

)

You have a gorgeous body Amber. Slim doesn't equal attractive. Overweight doesn't equal unattractive...

I genuinely don't see weight/size as an indication of beauty.

It's quite literally impossible to please everyone, so just please yourself

Absofuckinglutely!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Assumptions and stereotypes is the mother of all evils and unfortunately I’ve experienced them alot

In this world sometimes it is never fair and some people just like to judge and there’s nothing we can do about that and of course there is that legendary word that is used in here called preferences.

Sometimes it’s just best to ignore and keep at peace. And not waste energy and pointless things

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that when you post these kinds of things Annie, you polarise opinion, there are more than two ways to look at these things.

So many grey areas, not just black and white.

Theres a big difference between being self confident and being self assured, for example.

Confidence can be construed as arrogance, but the person judging that also goes off their own experiences, insecurities etc.

(I think I may be rambling so I'll stop now!)

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind up"
i got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Tbf Annie if I had a body like yours I wouldn't give two shits about getting approval from others.

(but personally, as an "undesirable", I kinda need the extra reassurance and validation

)

You have a gorgeous body Amber. Slim doesn't equal attractive. Overweight doesn't equal unattractive...

I genuinely don't see weight/size as an indication of beauty.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10"

What the everloving fuck.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about if you're half and half?

Toned legs, Ripped Arms,Big Shoulders, beer belly, big hips, Fat face, double chin....

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10"

I got labelled as a fatty many times when I was a size 10/12.

I also had a lengthy row with some dude last year who was adamant I was out of order for referring to myself as fat when I was "clearly not even chubby". I was a size 24...bigger than I am now.

You can't win. It's pointless trying. But to say overweight people get less shit is simply not true.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong."

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10

What the everloving fuck."
it was hilerious he got so much stick and one of his fb messaged me to say she had dumped him

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

Well swing....they know you better than you do....

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

Well swing....they know you better than you do....

I'm only a girl I don't know my own mind

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said. "

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

Because you're unhappy single, and you see fat women here getting attention and having men who want/adore them and who are in happy relationships and you can't fathom why someone who's not in your shape has what you want and you don't?

This is a question....not a judgement.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From my own personal experiences and also from reading some threads, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s different rules for different people.

...

Depends on which forum 'group' they are in. Arse licking isn't size dependent.

Both extremes of sizes and everything in between get slagged off at some point.

But in general if someone is happy with how they look that's seen as a bad thing by society.

"Love yourself, don't hate yourself!" .. But don't say it out loud because then you're a arrogant narcissist.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about if you're half and half?

Toned legs, Ripped Arms,Big Shoulders, beer belly, big hips, Fat face, double chin.... "

Then we'll only criticise half of you

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

Well swing....they know you better than you do....

I'm only a girl I don't know my own mind

You'd be best in the kitchen dear...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

Well swing....they know you better than you do....

I'm only a girl I don't know my own mind

You'd be best in the kitchen dear..."

But there's food in there I might eat it

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about if you're half and half?

Toned legs, Ripped Arms,Big Shoulders, beer belly, big hips, Fat face, double chin....

Then we'll only criticise half of you

Between us we'll cover both halfs tho...dont worry

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

Well swing....they know you better than you do....

I'm only a girl I don't know my own mind

You'd be best in the kitchen dear...

But there's food in there I might eat it

Good point...stick to the cleaning. Don't want you putting on any extra timber

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

My nickname at school was Auntie Man. Own it, sista'

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

Well swing....they know you better than you do....

I'm only a girl I don't know my own mind

You'd be best in the kitchen dear...

But there's food in there I might eat it

Good point...stick to the cleaning. Don't want you putting on any extra timber

I'll stick with the lifting. Maybe I'll wear lipstick while I dead lift to confuse them.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

My nickname at school was Auntie Man. Own it, sista'

Oh I do

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

Well swing....they know you better than you do....

I'm only a girl I don't know my own mind

You'd be best in the kitchen dear...

But there's food in there I might eat it

Good point...stick to the cleaning. Don't want you putting on any extra timber

I'll stick with the lifting. Maybe I'll wear lipstick while I dead lift to confuse them."

They will explode!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10"

Wow what size does he think isn't overweight then?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10

Wow what size does he think isn't overweight then? "

Dress size isn't an accurate indication of weight...just saying...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10

What the everloving fuck.it was hilerious he got so much stick and one of his fb messaged me to say she had dumped him

That's good news then

Arsehole deserved that!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

My nickname at school was Auntie Man. Own it, sista'

Oh I do

I was also Helga the Russian Shot-putter and Olga the German discus-thrower.

Yes, the boys were jealous that I could make a discus travel further than they could

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10

Wow what size does he think isn't overweight then?

Dress size isn't an accurate indication of weight...just saying..."

Well no not really but in this instance we only have that to go on and not weight and you never ask a lady her weight

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You definitely can't win.

These days I get told I want to be a man.

Yeah ok

My nickname at school was Auntie Man. Own it, sista'

Oh I do

I was also Helga the Russian Shot-putter and Olga the German discus-thrower.

Yes, the boys were jealous that I could make a discus travel further than they could

My nickname was related to the Terminator

I've softened since then. Not just because I wear makeup now

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people don't mind being a certain size and are content and some people hate the fact if they put weight on or if they're really skinny and can't put weight on (every individual deals with it differently) ..I've personally put weight on the last couple of years and i hate it but I struggle with motivation and just feel drained after work.....also I LOVE FOOD hahaha which doesn't help me....I can look at a pie and I put on weight on

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind up"

I said I wasn't currently overweight, he said I was delusional. Maybe he was on the wind up but it's far from the only time. I'm not slim enough by conventional beauty standards but not curvy enough to be part of the plus size beauty celebration. Anyway, my point was that it's not just slim and toned people who get shit for being happy with their body.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind up

I think anyone that gives people shit for being happy isn't happy themselves.

I like people being happy myself, unfortunately some people are just bitter

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement. "

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just don’t like being called arrogant or vain because I don’t moan about my appearance and openly say I’m happy with it. Then I see other women being openly encouraged to love themselves and be happy with how they look.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10

Wow what size does he think isn't overweight then?

Dress size isn't an accurate indication of weight...just saying...

Well no not really but in this instance we only have that to go on and not weight and you never ask a lady her weight "

I'm eleventy-thousand kilos *nods*

If Mr KC and I swapped weights, we'd both be smack bang in the middle of the "healthy" BMI chart thingy. We laugh about gender roles in our house

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind up

I think anyone that gives people shit for being happy isn't happy themselves.

I like people being happy myself, unfortunately some people are just bitter "

Oh and you look amazing

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Neither are okay. People are always shitty to each other. I've been overweight and I've been barely a size 6. People shit on you at every size. "

That's because people have no manners or respect for others and not many of us old school on here

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not slim enough by conventional beauty standards but not curvy enough to be part of the plus size beauty celebration."

Oh pish. Beauty isn't just categorised into slim or plus sized. Any size can be beautiful. For what it's worth, I'm currently working very hard with the hopes of having a body that's much more like yours, so you're definitely at least one person's ideal

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

You liking how you look isn't what makes you come across as arrogant at times...its how you present it. As I said before, your posts on this subject have a negative undertone and that's what gets people's backs up.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

I once said I was happy with how I look on here and a guy said I was delusional and gave me shit about health risks of being overweight and I'm only a size 12

Surly he wasn't saying you're overweight being a size 12 though, I think he must have been bored and on the wind upi got called "significantly"overweight in the forums when i was a size 10

Wow what size does he think isn't overweight then?

Dress size isn't an accurate indication of weight...just saying...

Well no not really but in this instance we only have that to go on and not weight and you never ask a lady her weight

I'm eleventy-thousand kilos *nods*

If Mr KC and I swapped weights, we'd both be smack bang in the middle of the "healthy" BMI chart thingy. We laugh about gender roles in our house

Sometimes it's fun to swap rolls, I have to take both being a single but I'm good with that as I'm well trained

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ountry Boy FreshMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"Neither are okay. People are always shitty to each other. I've been overweight and I've been barely a size 6. People shit on you at every size. "

Hit the nail on the head there people do if they are jealous or bitter.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm not slim enough by conventional beauty standards but not curvy enough to be part of the plus size beauty celebration.

I think you may want to reread my comment as it's literally about me being happy with my body and getting shit for saying so

. You've kind of quoted 1 line entirely out of context.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison."

Don't think I've ever seen someone plus sized say "I love how I look and I don't like that slimmer people are more celebrated" all in the same breath - correct me if I'm wrong.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

Don't think I've ever seen someone plus sized say "I love how I look and I don't like that slimmer people are more celebrated" all in the same breath - correct me if I'm wrong. "

Spot on!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not slim enough by conventional beauty standards but not curvy enough to be part of the plus size beauty celebration.

I think you may want to reread my comment as it's literally about me being happy with my body and getting shit for saying so

. You've kind of quoted 1 line entirely out of context. "

Sorry! This thread has obviously got me a little overexcited, I'm always eager to pitch in on stuff like this

But I do think you look lovely x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Well no not really but in this instance we only have that to go on and not weight and you never ask a lady her weight

I'm eleventy-thousand kilos *nods*

If Mr KC and I swapped weights, we'd both be smack bang in the middle of the "healthy" BMI chart thingy. We laugh about gender roles in our house

Sometimes it's fun to swap rolls, I have to take both being a single but I'm good with that as I'm well trained

Makes us giggle more because our "gender roles" are probably the total opposite across all areas, not just in terms of mass

I earn more, I'm the career one, the driver, the financial manager etc.

He does more of the housework, cooking and childcare.

It's fun to do our own thing and balls to what anyone else says and that includes our weights.

Mr gets skinny-shamed, I get fat-shamed but we both just look at each other and go "phwoar"

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm not slim enough by conventional beauty standards but not curvy enough to be part of the plus size beauty celebration.

I think you may want to reread my comment as it's literally about me being happy with my body and getting shit for saying so

. You've kind of quoted 1 line entirely out of context.

Sorry! This thread has obviously got me a little overexcited, I'm always eager to pitch in on stuff like this

But I do think you look lovely x "

Haha no worries and thank you

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Well no not really but in this instance we only have that to go on and not weight and you never ask a lady her weight

I'm eleventy-thousand kilos *nods*

If Mr KC and I swapped weights, we'd both be smack bang in the middle of the "healthy" BMI chart thingy. We laugh about gender roles in our house

Sometimes it's fun to swap rolls, I have to take both being a single but I'm good with that as I'm well trained

Makes us giggle more because our "gender roles" are probably the total opposite across all areas, not just in terms of mass

I earn more, I'm the career one, the driver, the financial manager etc.

He does more of the housework, cooking and childcare.

It's fun to do our own thing and balls to what anyone else says and that includes our weights.

Mr gets skinny-shamed, I get fat-shamed but we both just look at each other and go "phwoar"

You're happy and that's all that matters.

I get skinny shamed also but I don't really care because some people think I'm fit so it's all good.

I don't want to be lots of people's cup of tea because that would be draining

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Lots of people are dicks and will insult you no matter what. Half the time it doesn't matter if they even believe it or not, but they just use what the think will hurt you most. After all, that's what an insult is supposed to do.

You just need to show you don't give a fuck and then the insult looses any of its power.

And yes, overweight people don't get called vain and arrogant if they say they are happy with their bodies, but they will get called loads of other nasty names instead.

From what I have seen, the overweight seem to get a lot more abuse than gym fit. Probably partly to do with the media / advertising showing gym fit to be more desirable.

Hope no one has upset you too much.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I never seek validation but i was complaining to my son one day that id put on weight. His reply was your my mum your perfect i dont care if your fat or thing. Thats all the validation i need

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison."

Listen, you’re the one who keeps using the word fat, why are you allowed to say it? I’ve stated in many threads how I’m happy with how I look without referencing anyone else at all and I’ve had shit for it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

"
but its how you say it. The thread you started the other day about being a forum heavyweight was unbelievable i really couldnt take you seriously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

I've NEVER seen you post on this topic without either a comparison to overweight people or stating that people give you shit for being confident. There's ALWAYS a negative add on.

Why shouldn't I use the word fat? It's a word? Anyone is free to use it as far as I'm concerned. I don't see it as a negative word.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get body shamed all the time and I must admit it puts me down and I hate it..mainly by work colleagues/friends in jest but it does get to me...I think some people are fair game if they dish it out and someone gives it back but me personally I've never got personal ill just call someone a prick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if people's bodies were taken away what would be left there.....What's there besides a body, wether it is a "fit" or not "too fit" body. That also applies for a face...

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

I have also noticed that. I think cos there are alot of jelousy going on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

but its how you say it. The thread you started the other day about being a forum heavyweight was unbelievable i really couldnt take you seriously"

Because it was a piss take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have also noticed that. I think cos there are alot of jelousy going on

I've seen no jealousy on any of these threads tbh...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I wonder if people's bodies were taken away what would be left there.....What's there besides a body, wether it is a "fit" or not "too fit" body. That also applies for a face...

I'm strongly considering the use of an invisibility cloak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annie, you have a whole bunch of people telling you its not what you say but how you say it...maybe they have a point?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I wonder if people's bodies were taken away what would be left there.....What's there besides a body, wether it is a "fit" or not "too fit" body. That also applies for a face...

"
People would have to rely on personality. I think im very fortunate that bodies arnt important to me and to a certain extent nor faces. Im definetly turned on by personality and i have the most amazing men in my life

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By *ountry Boy FreshMan
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

but its how you say it. The thread you started the other day about being a forum heavyweight was unbelievable i really couldnt take you seriously

Because it was a piss take. "

It might have been then it might not people will perceive words as they see it. The reality is people are less antagonised by a fit body shape and more by perceived arrogance or seeing statements as stick poking.

What people will see an rightly is you are returning and returning to the same subject matter with threads and make the green tick association. You might not like it but people will have an opinion on others and the words they post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have also noticed that. I think cos there are alot of jelousy going on

I've seen no jealousy on any of these threads tbh..."

Oh I'm definitely very jealous of a lot of the bodies I see in the forums

but I would never say anything nasty!

I think just the way things are said sometimes can touch a nerve with certain people - and that goes both ways. In an ideal world we would all just stop pitting ourselves against each other

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

but its how you say it. The thread you started the other day about being a forum heavyweight was unbelievable i really couldnt take you seriously

Because it was a piss take. "
well thats the thing with you and what you say you cant tell if its a piss take or not

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

Maybe you are happy with how you look on the outside but i don't think you are happy with your life in general. Just an observation i have made from reading other threads. Maybe i am wrong.

Absolutely wrong. I’m unhappy with being single, that is the only assumption you can make from my other threads.

My life includes my child so I don’t appreciate what you said.

Do you think maybe that's why this subject bothers you so much?

This is a question....not a judgement.

No because the issues I have are personal to me and my own behaviour. Relationships aren’t determined by looks or body shape.

I just think you're very biased about what you see or take in.

No one seems to have an issue with your confidence.

Post a thread about how confident you are WITHOUT referencing fat people and see how it goes...it doesn't need to be a comparison.

but its how you say it. The thread you started the other day about being a forum heavyweight was unbelievable i really couldnt take you seriously

Because it was a piss take. "

Is this thread a piss take too? Maybe you should clarify in the OP as it's not easy to tell.

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"I have also noticed that. I think cos there are alot of jelousy going on

I've seen no jealousy on any of these threads tbh...

Oh I'm definitely very jealous of a lot of the bodies I see in the forums

but I would never say anything nasty!

I think just the way things are said sometimes can touch a nerve with certain people - and that goes both ways. In an ideal world we would all just stop pitting ourselves against each other

"
Yes and you are right there too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have also noticed that. I think cos there are alot of jelousy going on

I've seen no jealousy on any of these threads tbh...

Oh I'm definitely very jealous of a lot of the bodies I see in the forums

but I would never say anything nasty!

I think just the way things are said sometimes can touch a nerve with certain people - and that goes both ways. In an ideal world we would all just stop pitting ourselves against each other

Yes and you are right there too

Its hard not to pit yourself against others..I'll have a look at hot photos (the guys) to look at the competition and see what I'm up against Jesus I wish I never its depressing...makes me feel shut about myself

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I wonder if people's bodies were taken away what would be left there.....What's there besides a body, wether it is a "fit" or not "too fit" body. That also applies for a face...

Someone can be really hot to look at but if personality isn't attractive then I'm not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You never see a lifestyle magazine praising celebrities for gaining weight do you?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mr gets skinny-shamed, I get fat-shamed but we both just look at each other and go "phwoar"

You're happy and that's all that matters.

I get skinny shamed also but I don't really care because some people think I'm fit so it's all good.

I don't want to be lots of people's cup of tea because that would be draining

Mr Piscean, you are the right sort of

according to my eyes and my eyes are pretty damned good.

Also green tea, ta

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Mr gets skinny-shamed, I get fat-shamed but we both just look at each other and go "phwoar"

You're happy and that's all that matters.

I get skinny shamed also but I don't really care because some people think I'm fit so it's all good.

I don't want to be lots of people's cup of tea because that would be draining

Mr Piscean, you are the right sort of

according to my eyes and my eyes are pretty damned good.

Also green tea, ta

Why thank you

I don't have green tea but I always try my best to do what I can to please

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I have also noticed that. I think cos there are alot of jelousy going on

I've seen no jealousy on any of these threads tbh...

Oh I'm definitely very jealous of a lot of the bodies I see in the forums

but I would never say anything nasty!

I think just the way things are said sometimes can touch a nerve with certain people - and that goes both ways. In an ideal world we would all just stop pitting ourselves against each other

Yes and you are right there too

I always avoid comparing myself to others as there's no point, like you say it's depressing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Annie, you have a whole bunch of people telling you its not what you say but how you say it...maybe they have a point?

But it’s all the same type of people saying it.

I know the difference between someone giving me constructive criticism from a good place inside them to the people who just see one side of me.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Annie, you have a whole bunch of people telling you its not what you say but how you say it...maybe they have a point?

But it’s all the same type of people saying it.

I know the difference between someone giving me constructive criticism from a good place inside them to the people who just see one side of me. "
but seriously why does it bother you. Surely if you love yourself you dont care what others think i know i dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annie, you have a whole bunch of people telling you its not what you say but how you say it...maybe they have a point?

But it’s all the same type of people saying it.

I know the difference between someone giving me constructive criticism from a good place inside them to the people who just see one side of me. "

So we're all biased? All of us?

I have seen other sides to you. I also see the way you post on this subject.

If you look at those i respond to I'm very fair. I don't respond any differently to one type of person than another.

I advocate for body confidence, inclusivity and acceptance for all!

As I've said before, it's great that you're so confident, it's a shame that you feel the need to put umthat across in such a negative fashion. I genuinely think if you changed your approach you'd get a much different response.

Regardless, you will never please everyone.

Keep being confident, and try not to worry so much what others think either way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Annie, you have a whole bunch of people telling you its not what you say but how you say it...maybe they have a point?

But it’s all the same type of people saying it.

I know the difference between someone giving me constructive criticism from a good place inside them to the people who just see one side of me. "

You asked people for their thoughts in your OP. You can't just ask people for their opinions and then police them anyway. Why bother asking in the first place?

There have been many posts on here and on previous threads giving you constructive criticism, but you seem to zero in on the ones that you see as an attack and disregard the others. Nobody has a problem with you or how you look but the fact you keep tugging at this same thread is frustrating a lot of people.

Also, what do you mean by "same types"?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Annie, you have a whole bunch of people telling you its not what you say but how you say it...maybe they have a point?

But it’s all the same type of people saying it.

I know the difference between someone giving me constructive criticism from a good place inside them to the people who just see one side of me.

So we're all biased? All of us?

I have seen other sides to you. I also see the way you post on this subject.

If you look at those i respond to I'm very fair. I don't respond any differently to one type of person than another.

I advocate for body confidence, inclusivity and acceptance for all!

Regardless, you will never please everyone.

Keep being confident, and try not to worry so much what others think either way."

Ok so if it’s the way I say things, quote the part where I was insulting or negative because I genuinely can’t see where I was insulting in my opening post.

If it’s the way I say things that’s the problem, yet I’m not aware of how I’m coming across, tell me (by quoting) what part of the post that’s the issue.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Annie, you have a whole bunch of people telling you its not what you say but how you say it...maybe they have a point?

But it’s all the same type of people saying it.

I know the difference between someone giving me constructive criticism from a good place inside them to the people who just see one side of me. "

What do you mean by the same type of people please?

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"Oh yey another chubby bashing thread

I've been gym fit and overweight and never referred to as selfish....

Where have I bashed anyone? Just making an observation."

Agree with Annie.

This is not a chubby bashing thread.

I was thinking the same going through the guys with muscles thread.

Hypocritic stands I noticed in the forum when it's about figures or looks.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"For every person who doesn't like me there is someone who does like me.

That's all good with me

*flies off back to talk dirty on the Tgirls thread*

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Oh yey another chubby bashing thread

I've been gym fit and overweight and never referred to as selfish....

Where have I bashed anyone? Just making an observation.

Agree with Annie.

This is not a chubby bashing thread.

I was thinking the same going through the guys with muscles thread.

Hypocritic stands I noticed in the forum when it's about figures or looks."
theres been two threads today backing up the guy with myscles thread which i agree was bang out of order but for the last two days theres been a thread running about men and their dignity but no threads on that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

And why wouldn't you be happy with the way you look????

Some would assume that that statement alone puts you wearing your ass as a hat. Some dont like that kind of obvious confidence. Some dont like any form of confidence at all. Some just don't like rejection full stop and the only comeback they have is to truly give that confidence a good old kicking!

Hell fire if I have a quid for every insult I've had for politely turning someone down id have a fair few quid built up in my fab insult account.

The amount of people who join fab thinking that its a " get laid easy " site, and that all women here are just gagging for it then sit and whine when they suddenly find out that its pretty hard work regardless of the fact they have the body of an addonis.

I say just be you and fuck everyone who thinks otherwise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From my own personal experiences and also from reading some threads, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s different rules for different people.

If a guy is gym fit/muscley/ripped then its perfectly fine to make assumptions that he would be a selfish lover, using steds, vain, arrogant, in love with himself etc.

Also if a woman is slim and confident with her body and states that she’s happy with how she looks then it’s fine to say that she’s vain, arrogant, self absorbed, up her own arse etc.

Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.

How is this fair?

These are just my observations feel free to give your thoughts.

Haters are gonna Hate...no matter what people do in their life there are ALWAYS those that will pass Judgement in some form or other on them regardless of anything ,its unreal...wether its jealousy or just spite, who knows but it will always be that way.

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

My new years Resolution is to be a less considerate lover.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

just be happy with who you are , I really dont give a fuck what others think , ive been slimmer , but happiness comes from within not your size ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From my own personal experiences and also from reading some threads, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s different rules for different people.

If a guy is gym fit/muscley/ripped then its perfectly fine to make assumptions that he would be a selfish lover, using steds, vain, arrogant, in love with himself etc.

Also if a woman is slim and confident with her body and states that she’s happy with how she looks then it’s fine to say that she’s vain, arrogant, self absorbed, up her own arse etc.

Now if someone is overweight and they say they are happy with how they look and confident then absolutely nothing gets said and those people aren’t called arrogant or vain or words like that.

How is this fair?

These are just my observations feel free to give your thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bothers me because I get shit for saying I’m happy with how I look when other people don’t.

And why wouldn't you be happy with the way you look????

Hell fire if I have a quid for every insult I've had for politely turning someone down id have a fair few quid built up in my fab insult account.

I say just be you and fuck everyone who thinks otherwise!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think deep down most people feel a little unhappy with their bodies. So when anyone says they're happy with their body, totally and completely, it's that they're jealous of (the happiness and confidence). Now if on top of that you also happen to have an amazing body, well that's just even more to be jealous of and sometimes people lash out.

I don't think anyone means to do this really, it's just their own insecurities and self doubt being brought to the surface.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's only fairly recently that body acceptance has become a thing and it's not just constricted to gym fit Vs overweight. It's prevelant in black Vs white, men Vs women, rich Vs poor, gay Vs straight etc.

I think we've become a society where we're trying so hard to be accepting of the minority (or previously persecuted) that people feel the majority should be scrutinised and shamed as a result.

Didn’t read a single word of that, all I could see was your bum in your pic

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By *estinyIsAllCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I've been a size 8, I'm now a 12/14. My husband has been a 34" waist and muscular, he's now a 38" waist and squidgy round the edges. We have both experienced stereotypes and shit comments from people and I think that's the underlying issue there.. the shit comments come from shit people.

Who cares whether someone is slim or overweight? Isn't it their choice at the end of the day? Some can't help it either, some have underlying issues from physical to mental. Digging at someone for their own appearance just makes you a shit person - you don't have to be attracted to them, but you don't have to say anything horrible either.

Just my 2 cents.

(Reposted due to typos, too early)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is obsessed with body image - has it always been like this?

I don't remember people being cunty to each other about their weight so much when I was at school - then I guess people weren't so extreme either way then.

I was one of the bigger girls at senior school and I was about a size 14.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I think it's how you write it Annie. I did a thread about misconceptions (green arrow me) which asked what are the main misconceptions people have of them. Which referenced those of slimmer and overweight people. Kind of a bit like yours, but not half as contentious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annie, you do care what people think because you keep asking. You do care about people of all sizes because I've seen your posts over the years.

Many people on here whine about people reading their lengthy profiles and understanding them as a person, yet they very rarely do the same for other people. They assume their perception is correct and they don't care enough to accept the possibility that the person has other aspects that they may never post about on the forums. They just see the tits/ cock/ no profile pic and make their assumptions and stick to them.

Your real life friends know more about you than the forum people do. They see all sides to you. They know your background, things you don't post about on here and things you do. But they see all of it, not just a snapshot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think deep down most people feel a little unhappy with their bodies. So when anyone says they're happy with their body, totally and completely, it's that they're jealous of (the happiness and confidence). Now if on top of that you also happen to have an amazing body, well that's just even more to be jealous of and sometimes people lash out.

I don't think anyone means to do this really, it's just their own insecurities and self doubt being brought to the surface."

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I have noticed that gym fit/slim people tend to be more openly mocked on here and their perpetuating stereotypes more commonly said. That being said, there really are so many horrible comments made about fat people frequently - on threads not even directly relating to weight fat bashing occurs. That's gone on for years and is still happening today.

So I do think you have a point to a certain degree... but I also think that you suffer from confirmation bias which is fair enough. Most of us do.

Also, please can we stop comparing the bbw 10000000 thread? It's such a weak, fallacy laden comparison. That thread really isn't about harping on about the virtues of one body shape. It might have been back when dinosaurs roamed the planet but now it's a group of friends (albeit who identify as a particular shape/size more often than not) talking the same mundane, harmless crap that goes on in the morning thread or the nocturnal one. The slim person threads I've seen designed to try and recreate that one have always gone to shit because someone posts a comment initially like "finally, a thread for people who care about themselves and don't just sit around and eat cheese all day" and then you get the angry pitchforks following.

I think removing stereotypes about people as a whole is a good idea. Avoid ridiculous notions like someone is vain because your Aunt's best friend's neighbour married someone who would always look in the mirror. Start accepting people for who they are and stop having such narrow minded thinking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have noticed that gym fit/slim people tend to be more openly mocked on here and their perpetuating stereotypes more commonly said. That being said, there really are so many horrible comments made about fat people frequently - on threads not even directly relating to weight fat bashing occurs. That's gone on for years and is still happening today.

So I do think you have a point to a certain degree... but I also think that you suffer from confirmation bias which is fair enough. Most of us do.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

In my experience, people who walk around with such extreme views on any body types are just unhappy with themselves and propagating reflections of that.

The happiest people I know in and out of bed dig the individual things that make a person unique. Whatever they might be.

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By *irty desireWoman
over a year ago

newcatle

I wish I could give access to my inbox and see how much fat shamming I get..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I do think you have a point to a certain degree... but I also think that you suffer from confirmation bias which is fair enough. Most of us do.

Meli I think I love you. I’ve bit my tongue about this thread (and many others lately!) as I couldn’t put into words exactly what I was thinking with out getting a bit ranty. You have summed up my thoughts exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fat but I'm also physically fit and muscular am I vain?? I'd say no! Am I a selfish lover?? I'd also say no. Am I a good lover? That's down to option. Do I care what others think of me?

Yes I do to a point.

Do I insult others for their body shape and lifestyle choices no I dont... each to their own and dilligaf to everything else

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By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"just be happy with who you are , I really dont give a fuck what others think , ive been slimmer , but happiness comes from within not your size , "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I do think you have a point to a certain degree... but I also think that you suffer from confirmation bias which is fair enough. Most of us do.

I agree this is well put

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