FabSwingers.com forum: Negative personalties

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Do they actually thrive on being miserable and negative all the while.

I knew a man once who was so negative and hatred towards the world im convinced it killed him. He was fit healthy and active and just died one day aged 72 im sure hatred killed him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I cannot imagine anybody deliberately wanting to be negative because surely they must be unhappy. And it is such a shame ewasting precious energy on being negative.

But then, maybe sometimes it feels safer to be negative towards a situation than to be positive about it and find yourself disappointed? Not sure.

Being positive is just so much easier and makes you happier as well as those around you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset

When I use to do homecare, a couple of my clients was proper bitter, twisted and the hate oozed from them. We got on amazing and I was with them for many years unlike many before me.

People who don't know me think I'm like that, yet them that do actually know me, know I am a total delight and always laughing (mainly at the most inappropriate times but heyho)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

Victor Meldrew...

Unfortunately I know too many like him... Men and women! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Negativity tends to breed more negativity and attract it in turn.

Sometimes people don't consciously do this but have become trapped in a vicious circle that usually involves some deep seeded bitterness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All about the positivity keep your head up and keep looking forward whats for you wont go by you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you think people who come across this way realise that they do?

Kinda like people are oblivious to how cunty they are sometimes or how far up their own arse they are.

Maybe you’re a negative, maybe I’m a negative too.

What if we think we’re positive but we’re actually negative.

When I speak I hear my voice as happy and upbeat but it could be all meh.

So many questions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

Being overly positive can be just as toxic. I like well balanced individuals.

Braking down on the motorway-negative

Good looking AA man- positive

Not actually being a member of the AA-negative

Being rescued by a friend-positive

Having to wait a long time-negative

Being taken to kfc afterwards- positive

Having to shout for the kfc-negative

Overall- neutral experience. All about balance

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I think with some people it’s used as some sort of defence mechanism, maybe something bad has happened to them in the past and they don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Being overly positive can be just as toxic. I like well balanced individuals.

Braking down on the motorway-negative

Good looking AA man- positive

Not actually being a member of the AA-negative

Being rescued by a friend-positive

Having to wait a long time-negative

Being taken to kfc afterwards- positive

Having to shout for the kfc-negative

Overall- neutral experience. All about balance

I like this

Sometimes life needs to be taken seriously. Sometimes you laugh in spite of it all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Pop onto the Virus forum if you want examples of negativity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

"Do they actually thrive on being miserable and negative all the while.

I knew a man once who was so negative and hatred towards the world im convinced it killed him. He was fit healthy and active and just died one day aged 72 im sure hatred killed him"

That's not fair, Ray Clemence was by all accounts a really nice guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do they actually thrive on being miserable and negative all the while.

I knew a man once who was so negative and hatred towards the world im convinced it killed him. He was fit healthy and active and just died one day aged 72 im sure hatred killed him"
i kmow this for a fact that stress will send you to an early grave and someone like him would have been stressed 24/7. My bother is the same and I keep telling him to chill out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being overly positive can be just as toxic. I like well balanced individuals.

Braking down on the motorway-negative

Good looking AA man- positive

Not actually being a member of the AA-negative

Being rescued by a friend-positive

Having to wait a long time-negative

Being taken to kfc afterwards- positive

Having to shout for the kfc-negative

Overall- neutral experience. All about balance

I thought I was confusing when I read my post back but now I’m totally confused.

It’s positive confusion but feels quite neutral.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"Being overly positive can be just as toxic. I like well balanced individuals.

Braking down on the motorway-negative

Good looking AA man- positive

Not actually being a member of the AA-negative

Being rescued by a friend-positive

Having to wait a long time-negative

Being taken to kfc afterwards- positive

Having to shout for the kfc-negative

Overall- neutral experience. All about balance

I thought I was confusing when I read my post back but now I’m totally confused.

It’s positive confusion but feels quite neutral."

Would you like some negative confusion to balance it out?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being overly positive can be just as toxic. I like well balanced individuals.

Braking down on the motorway-negative

Good looking AA man- positive

Not actually being a member of the AA-negative

Being rescued by a friend-positive

Having to wait a long time-negative

Being taken to kfc afterwards- positive

Having to shout for the kfc-negative

Overall- neutral experience. All about balance

I thought I was confusing when I read my post back but now I’m totally confused.

It’s positive confusion but feels quite neutral.

Would you like some negative confusion to balance it out? "

I’m too confused to answer.

Can I see your heart shaped pubes instead please?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"Being overly positive can be just as toxic. I like well balanced individuals.

Braking down on the motorway-negative

Good looking AA man- positive

Not actually being a member of the AA-negative

Being rescued by a friend-positive

Having to wait a long time-negative

Being taken to kfc afterwards- positive

Having to shout for the kfc-negative

Overall- neutral experience. All about balance

I thought I was confusing when I read my post back but now I’m totally confused.

It’s positive confusion but feels quite neutral.

Would you like some negative confusion to balance it out?

I’m too confused to answer.

Can I see your heart shaped pubes instead please?"

Anytime.

It’s going to be a star next month.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

Don't the Aussies call us "Whinging Pomms"? Charming! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it. "
the guy i mentioned in the op made my mental health worse i had to cut him out my life

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I must admit, I tend to give people who are always pessimistic a wide berth...I'm naturally optimistic and I find being around pessimistic people very draining. That's not to say I'm always happy (my grumps are phenomenal and my flounces are the stuff of legend

), but I'll still always look for a positive in every situation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

On the other hand, I can't take people that are overly positive and unrealistic, it's like they have a cloak of invincibility and the world just can't touch them.

I'd just love to know where that get all their positivity from

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Do they actually thrive on being miserable and negative all the while.

I knew a man once who was so negative and hatred towards the world im convinced it killed him. He was fit healthy and active and just died one day aged 72 im sure hatred killed him"

You should meet my mother, 99 years old, bitter, nasty and has never said or done anything remotely positive or uplifting unless it was about how she was wonderful to her wonderful mother and why couldn't her children be like that.

If there is nothing to moan about, she'll create something.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find negative people draining, it takes up more energy being angry and bitter than it ever does being positive.

A woman at work is always negative, and she is younger than me yet looks in her 60's. People can never believe she is my age

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Each of us define our own version of ‘happy place’

For most it’s a good place; for others their ‘happy’ is a dark place because its where they feel comfortable.Some people will know no other and it’s what they have adapted to (due to circumstances/illness etc)

For those that chose to be negative, just because they can, I give a wide berth. I’m not one for mood hoovers and drama llamas ..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Don't the Aussies call us "Whinging Pomms"? Charming! Lol"

Poms, but yes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Each of us define our own version of ‘happy place’

For those that chose to be negative, just because they can, I give a wide berth. I’m not one for mood hoovers and drama llamas .. "

I do love your drama llamas I always picture a llama with a hat on pulling a face

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Each of us define our own version of ‘happy place’

For those that chose to be negative, just because they can, I give a wide berth. I’m not one for mood hoovers and drama llamas ..

I do love your drama llamas I always picture a llama with a hat on pulling a face

That’s the one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I am a very positive person but realistic.. I dislike false optimism ..

And people who constantly moan.. I dislike people who moan so much that I constantly feel negative towards them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am a very positive person but realistic.. I dislike false optimism ..

And people who constantly moan.. I dislike people who moan so much that I constantly feel negative towards them"

I agree. It’s the same when people just post doom and gloom posts in the forums isn’t it ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I worked with a woman who was consistently negative. She was a very unhappy woman but capable of great kindness. It was a shame because it was impossible to like her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o Trash in My TrailerMan
over a year ago

Daytona Beach

Surely its down to mental health issues someone who is negative all the time has some sort of issues its not natural to be that way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I worked with a woman who was consistently negative. She was a very unhappy woman but capable of great kindness. It was a shame because it was impossible to like her "

Did you find out why she was so negative?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I worked with a woman who was consistently negative. She was a very unhappy woman but capable of great kindness. It was a shame because it was impossible to like her

Did you find out why she was so negative?"

No. I worked with her for about 15 years. I never saw her genuinely laugh and the only time I saw her smile was when she brought her granddaughter in once. She was rude to people to the extent that other departments avoided her and she could be a bully.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it. "

Hate to burst your smug, self-satisfied bubble, but being trapped in negativity is a miserable, soul-destroying experience, even without having to suffer through your kind.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it.

Hate to burst your smug, self-satisfied bubble, but being trapped in negativity is a miserable, soul-destroying experience, even without having to suffer through your kind."

But who’s making you be negative but yourself?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it.

Hate to burst your smug, self-satisfied bubble, but being trapped in negativity is a miserable, soul-destroying experience, even without having to suffer through your kind.

But who’s making you be negative but yourself? "

Sometimes mental health takes the choice away from us. I imagine it’s a very isolating feeling and my heart goes out to anyone that is trapped in their own negative thoughts like that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it.

Hate to burst your smug, self-satisfied bubble, but being trapped in negativity is a miserable, soul-destroying experience, even without having to suffer through your kind.

But who’s making you be negative but yourself? "

There's a fringe theory that a lifetime of social isolation, insults and contempt may have played a role.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it.

Hate to burst your smug, self-satisfied bubble, but being trapped in negativity is a miserable, soul-destroying experience, even without having to suffer through your kind.

But who’s making you be negative but yourself?

Sometimes mental health takes the choice away from us. I imagine it’s a very isolating feeling and my heart goes out to anyone that is trapped in their own negative thoughts like that. "

I don’t agree. I think people can either decide to be positive or negative.

It’s a conscious decision. It’s not easy, in fact it’s fucking difficult and it feels so false at first but there’s always a choice in saying something negative or not saying anything or saying something positive.

Doesn’t have to be anything major either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it.

Hate to burst your smug, self-satisfied bubble, but being trapped in negativity is a miserable, soul-destroying experience, even without having to suffer through your kind.

But who’s making you be negative but yourself?

Sometimes mental health takes the choice away from us. I imagine it’s a very isolating feeling and my heart goes out to anyone that is trapped in their own negative thoughts like that.

I don’t agree. I think people can either decide to be positive or negative.

Doesn’t have to be anything major either."
i also disagree there are many people on these forums that suffer from a wide range of mental health issues(it comes to light in the mental health threads)but you would never guesd by the way they post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Would you tell someone with an obvious physical health problem that they can just decide not to have an amputated limb or a heart attack or pneumonia? So why is it okay to say a person can decide whether they are positive or negative about life, when that outlook may be as a result of a mental health problem?

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Would you tell someone with an obvious physical health problem that they can just decide not to have an amputated limb or a heart attack or pneumonia? So why is it okay to say a person can decide whether they are positive or negative about life, when that outlook may be as a result of a mental health problem?

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away."
the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away."

An amputated limb can’t be put back together. You’re implying any mental health issues can’t be solved either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing"

That's as maybe, but obviously that's not the case for everyone who comes across as negative and so I think one should take care to recognise, as Jamie said, there are people out there who cannot help it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

I have days where I'm horribly negative. Trying not to lose the plot when I am reminded that my acquired disability is permanent - I'm never going to run with my daughter, skip, climb a tree etc. It gets too much. But then I go back to deluding myself that everything is fine and put the mask back on again. Works most of the time, but not always."
i have bipolar, anxiety and depression. I lock myself away from the world when things get to bad but i can be quiet ill and still hide behind a mask

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.

An amputated limb can’t be put back together. You’re implying any mental health issues can’t be solved either.

If you have a cure for mental health problems, you're doing better than the medical profession. Most "treatments" are simply sticking plasters. Many mental health problems cannot be solved. And even those that can be treated to a greater or lesser extent can only be treated if there's available therapy, which currently is not the case. Waiting lists for talking therapies are through the roof and the longer things go without any help, the worse they get and can become impossible to retrieve.

Amputated limbs can be replaced by artificial limbs which give the same overall result of walking etc. They can use mobility equipment like wheelchairs to get around - there's actually more tangible help for a physical impairment like that than most mental health problems.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

I’ve read your posts and I’m in absolute awe at how positive you come across most of the time.

It was only recently that I saw a post where you said more about what you could and couldn’t do.

It must be fucking shit for you yet my feelings from your posts are that you are positive in your outlook.

I like your posts, they make me smile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

I have days where I'm horribly negative. Trying not to lose the plot when I am reminded that my acquired disability is permanent - I'm never going to run with my daughter, skip, climb a tree etc. It gets too much. But then I go back to deluding myself that everything is fine and put the mask back on again. Works most of the time, but not always.i have bipolar, anxiety and depression. I lock myself away from the world when things get to bad but i can be quiet ill and still hide behind a mask"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

I’ve read your posts and I’m in absolute awe at how positive you come across most of the time.

It was only recently that I saw a post where you said more about what you could and couldn’t do.

It must be fucking shit for you yet my feelings from your posts are that you are positive in your outlook.

I like your posts, they make me smile

Thank you. Most of the time, I'm fine. I think I've accepted it, just about. But there's often little things that come back and bite me on the arse. Strictly Come Dancing, for example. The daughter loves it - "Mummy can you dance like that lady?" No. I can't. Not anymore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

I have days where I'm horribly negative. Trying not to lose the plot when I am reminded that my acquired disability is permanent - I'm never going to run with my daughter, skip, climb a tree etc. It gets too much. But then I go back to deluding myself that everything is fine and put the mask back on again. Works most of the time, but not always.i have bipolar, anxiety and depression. I lock myself away from the world when things get to bad but i can be quiet ill and still hide behind a mask

It's not a competition about who has the worst MH. Can it be agreed that many apparently negative people may well have mental health problems and that different people cope with these, well, differently? Being negative may well be something they do not enjoy being but cannot help, like someone with Tourette's cannot help verbal outbursts and tics?"
I dont agree. Mental health issues can cause negative personalities i dont disagree with that but theres plenty out there that are just miserable bastards full of doom and gloom. Oh and i wasnt seeing it as a compwtition just making a point im quite offended by that remark

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

I have days where I'm horribly negative. Trying not to lose the plot when I am reminded that my acquired disability is permanent - I'm never going to run with my daughter, skip, climb a tree etc. It gets too much. But then I go back to deluding myself that everything is fine and put the mask back on again. Works most of the time, but not always.i have bipolar, anxiety and depression. I lock myself away from the world when things get to bad but i can be quiet ill and still hide behind a mask

It's not a competition about who has the worst MH. Can it be agreed that many apparently negative people may well have mental health problems and that different people cope with these, well, differently? Being negative may well be something they do not enjoy being but cannot help, like someone with Tourette's cannot help verbal outbursts and tics?I dont agree. Mental health issues can cause negative personalities i dont disagree with that but theres plenty out there that are just miserable bastards full of doom and gloom. Oh and i wasnt seeing it as a compwtition just making a point im quite offended by that remark"

No offence was intended. I just don't think we can say that because you or I can cope (most of the time) or because we can mask things reasonably well, that we should apply that to others.

Too often, we project. We assume that because we can do X, then so can everyone else. Losing my mobility has taught me a lot about assumption.

I had no intention of causing offence, Diamond.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Shawshank moment, “you live your self living, or you live your life dying”.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Mental and physical health problems are equally problematic and cannot just be imagined away.the guy my post was about i knew very well he had no mental illness just a hatred for every thing

I have days where I'm horribly negative. Trying not to lose the plot when I am reminded that my acquired disability is permanent - I'm never going to run with my daughter, skip, climb a tree etc. It gets too much. But then I go back to deluding myself that everything is fine and put the mask back on again. Works most of the time, but not always.i have bipolar, anxiety and depression. I lock myself away from the world when things get to bad but i can be quiet ill and still hide behind a mask

It's not a competition about who has the worst MH. Can it be agreed that many apparently negative people may well have mental health problems and that different people cope with these, well, differently? Being negative may well be something they do not enjoy being but cannot help, like someone with Tourette's cannot help verbal outbursts and tics?I dont agree. Mental health issues can cause negative personalities i dont disagree with that but theres plenty out there that are just miserable bastards full of doom and gloom. Oh and i wasnt seeing it as a compwtition just making a point im quite offended by that remark

No offence was intended. I just don't think we can say that because you or I can cope (most of the time) or because we can mask things reasonably well, that we should apply that to others.

Too often, we project. We assume that because we can do X, then so can everyone else. Losing my mobility has taught me a lot about assumption.

I had no intention of causing offence, Diamond."
but youve turned this thread round to be all about mental illness and not accepting some people are just miserable bastards

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Diamond, I wasn't the first to point out the issue of MH and negativity, but yes I was the one to push forward on it.

I'm sure some people are, in your words, miserable bastards, but I don't think people are born to be unduly miserable. I think it's situational and even cases like Nicecouple mentioned earlier - who's to know what horrible and difficult thing that lady was dealing with behind closed doors. I think there's always a reason for undue negativity and melancholy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Diamond, I wasn't the first to point out the issue of MH and negativity, but yes I was the one to push forward on it.

Blaming the victim is always easier Nd more enjoyable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I’m no arse licker but this is very spot on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pop onto the Virus forum if you want examples of negativity. "

Noooo don't go in there!

It's a breeding ground for negativity, stupidity and mental health issues

I use it as a filter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I think this too.

Past experiences may determine how someone reacts to things.

I don't think they are being deliberate with their negativity.

People who are always exposed to bombings might run and cower for shelter when they hear the celebratory firecrackers/fireworks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Diamond, I wasn't the first to point out the issue of MH and negativity, but yes I was the one to push forward on it.

I agree.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I also think there's different kinds of positivity. There's the always appearing happy, and ok you do you.

I'm more of a, once I solve this issue I'll be happy, person. And I'll not look happy along the way (although I do enjoy the process). But when I break through it's euphoric. And I've earned that happiness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough."

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?"
ive tried to engage you a couple of times in pm and you werent in the slightest bit interested

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?"

Negativity and misery is exhausting and depressing to be around.

I hope you're getting the help you need x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?"
the guy in the op i introduced into my life. However it turned into a living nightmare and was detrimental to my health. There for i had to cut ties but i tried god how i tried

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?ive tried to engage you a couple of times in pm and you werent in the slightest bit interested"

My message log shows that we had a conversation. I can't say why it died.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

Absolutely spot on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?

Negativity and misery is exhausting and depressing to be around.

I hope you're getting the help you need x"

"I'm unhappy and isolation makes it worse."

"I get it. Now go away and work on yourself, xome back when you're fixed."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

My message log shows that we had a conversation. I can't say why it died."
because you stopped answering

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

My message log shows that we had a conversation. I can't say why it died.because you stopped answering"

Well I'll have to take your word for it. It's usually my fault.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?

Negativity and misery is exhausting and depressing to be around.

I hope you're getting the help you need x

"I'm unhappy and isolation makes it worse."

"I get it. Now go away and work on yourself, xome back when you're fixed.""

Nobody else is able to 'fix' you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is some food for thought

Our evolution had a big part to play. Those who were more attuned to spotting danger in early civilisations were more likely to survive and therefore more likely to pass on their genes.

The brain naturally responds to negative stimulus more readily than positive. So our early conditioning plays a big role in how biased we are towards positivity or negativity. If we experienced a lot of negativity early in our lives our brain doesn’t develop positive bias as readily. It is said we need 5x more positive experiences than negative to train the brain to respond more positively. The amygdala is a powerful primitive part of the brain and gets hijacked when we deal threatened. As far as I know It needs to be overridden by cortical connections, particularly the prefrontal cortex. However our early conditioning can effect the development of those connections and make us more or less susceptible to positive and negative stimuli.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I think this too.

Past experiences may determine how someone reacts to things.

I don't think they are being deliberate with their negativity.

People who are always exposed to bombings might run and cower for shelter when they hear the celebratory firecrackers/fireworks. "

That can be true of any noise if it triggers a bad memory.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

My message log shows that we had a conversation. I can't say why it died.because you stopped answering

Well I'll have to take your word for it. It's usually my fault. "
well if you ever do decide you want a chat my inbox is open

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I think this too.

Past experiences may determine how someone reacts to things.

I don't think they are being deliberate with their negativity.

People who are always exposed to bombings might run and cower for shelter when they hear the celebratory firecrackers/fireworks.

That can be true of any noise if it triggers a bad memory.

Definitely.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I wonder if a negative attitude should be potrayed as a bad trait..

If people want to be negative than surely that's their business... Negative people are rarely disappointed..

I am not one of those people who does not like enjoying myself.. wallowing in misery is sometimes a lovely place to be

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?

Negativity and misery is exhausting and depressing to be around.

I hope you're getting the help you need x

"I'm unhappy and isolation makes it worse."

"I get it. Now go away and work on yourself, xome back when you're fixed."

Nobody else is able to 'fix' you"

They do have the option of not making it worse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?

Negativity and misery is exhausting and depressing to be around.

I hope you're getting the help you need x

"I'm unhappy and isolation makes it worse."

"I get it. Now go away and work on yourself, xome back when you're fixed.""

You have been unhappy and very negative since I first met you at the STP. That's at least 5 years ago. Blaming others and having a victim mentality doesn't help. I have had an awful lot to deal with in my life and at times have felt very negative but, the only way out of it was to help myself and change my perspective on things. It's not easy, but being negative all the time is terrible for your overall well being and if you want to change things, you really do have to help yourself as much as you can

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is important to resist our urge to judge. We don’t know what has caused them to feel negative, nor do we know what is going on to perpetuate it. We can show compassion, but also maintain our own boundaries so we don’t get sucked into the negativity and can choose to manage our own emotional responses. We can be there to offer support if they wish to talk, but need to recognise we cannot rescue them either. Often our responses to it actually make things worse.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, everything’s negative, it’s can be exhausting, I’m sure people get a dopamine hit from moaning, why else would they do it, they simple enjoy it.

Hate to burst your smug, self-satisfied bubble, but being trapped in negativity is a miserable, soul-destroying experience, even without having to suffer through your kind.

But who’s making you be negative but yourself?

Sometimes mental health takes the choice away from us. I imagine it’s a very isolating feeling and my heart goes out to anyone that is trapped in their own negative thoughts like that. "

Thank you Jamie xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Toxic positivity is absolutely a thing.

The "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?" angle accomplishes nothing except exposing that person's unquestioned privileges.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *NTLovers2Couple
over a year ago

Warrington

We have a guy at work whose glass isn't half empty...its been dropped on the floor and smashed to pieces!... he smiles when being negative ( must obviously thrill him) ...his nickname is the Energy Vampire, as he sucks the life out of you !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it is important to resist our urge to judge. We don’t know what has caused them to feel negative, nor do we know what is going on to perpetuate it. We can show compassion, but also maintain our own boundaries so we don’t get sucked into the negativity and can choose to manage our own emotional responses. We can be there to offer support if they wish to talk, *** but need to recognise we cannot rescue them either. Often our responses to it actually make things worse.***"

Especially ***

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have a guy at work whose glass isn't half empty...its been dropped on the floor and smashed to pieces!... he smiles when being negative ( must obviously thrill him) ...his nickname is the Energy Vampire, as he sucks the life out of you !"

That sounds like me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Toxic positivity is absolutely a thing.

The "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?" angle accomplishes nothing except exposing that person's unquestioned privileges. "

God, so much.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I definitely need unravelling

I know I'm not as bad as a lot of people, but I have my moments and have a very negative view of myself (reinforced by my own actions and the consequences thereof over the last 18 months or so) and I'm on the waiting list for professional help

I don't enjoy this mindset particularly, but it's sometimes all I know / all I can do.

My sympathies go out to everyone else struggling with their own battles

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I definitely need unravelling

I don't enjoy this mindset particularly, but it's sometimes all I know / all I can do.

My sympathies go out to everyone else struggling with their own battles

Google self compassion. Game changer for me.

If self compassion is too daunting, start with self "not prodding at loathing", then self indifference, then work towards compassion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I definitely need unravelling

I don't enjoy this mindset particularly, but it's sometimes all I know / all I can do.

My sympathies go out to everyone else struggling with their own battles

You’re a work in progress is all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ostonJoeMan
over a year ago

Boston

Happy go lucky. Overtly positive people tend to be vapid, shallow and self centered. They are often uncaring and unfeeling towards others, lacking empathy and simpathetic only to themselves. They can display self righteousness and judge those who do not share their beliefs with disregard. They eshew responsibility and divert attention away from any misdemeanours they may have committed.

They are draining. Oh god. There's another one. Run. Hide. Damn it. It got me. I know. I will open the flood gates to all my bitterness and hatred I have stored up over the years and see if that cures them. I will remind them that some of us have to think deeply to solve problems rather than just pretend it doesn't matter. I hate Disney. Oh my god what did they do to Star Wars! Those bastards! I was fine until that chirpy, innane, whistle tooting buffoon showed up. You remind me of that damn mouse. Yes... You.

Ahem.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of negativity towards negative people on this thread. Ironic

Oh no am I now being negative about people being negative to negative people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I think if someone is like then something or someone bad happened to them.

Some people can overcome and others dwell and then it festers and grows until it’s such an uphill battle to overcome whatever it was.

But I think proper medical help, Psychological help, can help. They know the right questions to ask to unravel someone. They listen, they don’t judge.

I definitely need unravelling

I don't enjoy this mindset particularly, but it's sometimes all I know / all I can do.

My sympathies go out to everyone else struggling with their own battles

"
congratulations on seeking help. Its not easy it takes a lot of hard work over a long period of time but baby steps. Ive gone from hating myself so much i constantly wanted to repeatedly slash my face and walking with my head down so people couldnt see me to loving myself. Its a very long battle but we have to start with baby steps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"A lot of negativity towards negative people on this thread. Ironic

Oh no am I now being negative about people being negative to negative people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Shouldn’t a positive person be attracted to a negative person.

I’m confused

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Shouldn’t a positive person be attracted to a negative person.

I’m confused

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of the saddest people in the world appear happy and carefree.

Miserable people just wear their feelings openly.

And I still stand by my previous post. If someone is like that then there is a reason.

There is always a reason. If you dig deep enough.

The question is, how many people are actually willing to have those people around, and how many will shut them out?

Negativity and misery is exhausting and depressing to be around.

I hope you're getting the help you need x

"I'm unhappy and isolation makes it worse."

"I get it. Now go away and work on yourself, xome back when you're fixed."

Completely agree with this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Toxic positivity is absolutely a thing.

The "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?" angle accomplishes nothing except exposing that person's unquestioned privileges.

God, so much."

Absolute epidemic of it.

All too often, "I don't like negative people" actually means "This person has genuine concerns, but I don't want to address them."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Toxic positivity is absolutely a thing.

The "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?" angle accomplishes nothing except exposing that person's unquestioned privileges.

God, so much.

Absolute epidemic of it.

All too often, "I don't like negative people" actually means "This person has genuine concerns, but I don't want to address them."

"I haven't had the need to develop coping mechanisms because I've been incredibly fortunate, and this person with real problems is just killing the vibe of oblivious privilege, man"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Toxic positivity is absolutely a thing.

The "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?" angle accomplishes nothing except exposing that person's unquestioned privileges.

God, so much.

Absolute epidemic of it.

All too often, "I don't like negative people" actually means "This person has genuine concerns, but I don't want to address them."

"I haven't had the need to develop coping mechanisms because I've been incredibly fortunate, and this person with real problems is just killing the vibe of oblivious privilege, man""

I suspect that most folks in adulthood have been through something that's required coping mechanisms

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Toxic positivity is absolutely a thing.

The "WHY DON'T YOU JUST CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY?" angle accomplishes nothing except exposing that person's unquestioned privileges.

God, so much.

Absolute epidemic of it.

All too often, "I don't like negative people" actually means "This person has genuine concerns, but I don't want to address them."

"I haven't had the need to develop coping mechanisms because I've been incredibly fortunate, and this person with real problems is just killing the vibe of oblivious privilege, man"

I suspect that most folks in adulthood have been through something that's required coping mechanisms

Yup. It's relative though, and to look down on those with a higher burden because you've been fortunate is gross.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"Do they actually thrive on being miserable and negative all the while.

I knew a man once who was so negative and hatred towards the world im convinced it killed him. He was fit healthy and active and just died one day aged 72 im sure hatred killed him"

Absolutely this. What is the point.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cannot imagine anybody deliberately wanting to be negative because surely they must be unhappy. And it is such a shame ewasting precious energy on being negative.

But then, maybe sometimes it feels safer to be negative towards a situation than to be positive about it and find yourself disappointed? Not sure.

Being positive is just so much easier and makes you happier as well as those around you. "

I disagree.

Its far easier being myself than pretending to be over happy and positive all the time..

Yet I have actually never been happier than being as unhappy as I am

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I cannot imagine anybody deliberately wanting to be negative because surely they must be unhappy. And it is such a shame ewasting precious energy on being negative.

But then, maybe sometimes it feels safer to be negative towards a situation than to be positive about it and find yourself disappointed? Not sure.

Being positive is just so much easier and makes you happier as well as those around you.

I disagree.

Its far easier being myself than pretending to be over happy and positive all the time..

Yet I have actually never been happier than being as unhappy as I am

Pretending to be happy can help, but sometimes it's a plaster on a gunshot wound

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s most likely underlying stress, trauma, and it’s a coping mechanism x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"There’s most likely underlying stress, trauma, and it’s a coping mechanism x"

Yes. It's a sign of having survived.

And those of us who are negative work on that shit, mostly. And/or suffer much more than those around them for it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

One of the many things that infuriates me about relentlessly positive people:

There's a problem brewing. Everyone can see it. It will, eventually, blow the fuck up.

"Err, guys," I say. "There's a problem brewing. We should fix it."

"WAH WAH WAH STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE!" say the relentlessly positive people. "Just clap your hands and believe! LA LA LA!"

Problem blows the fuck up. Chaos and disorder, people losing their jobs, whatever.

"We should have just fixed that problem I told you all about months ago. We could have avoided all this."

"GOD YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE!"

Rinse and repeat until we all die.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In some cases I reckon so

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People rarely want to know ' how you are ' try it - the next person that asks you tell them the absolute truth.

We all put a mask on to help us get through life.

But some people go out in public without the mask on.

When people ask them how they are they tell the truth - the horror

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"People rarely want to know ' how you are ' try it - the next person that asks you tell them the absolute truth.

We all put a mask on to help us get through life.

But some people go out in public without the mask on.

When people ask them how they are they tell the truth - the horror

I was twenty-eight years old before anyone explained to me that "All right, mate?" was a rhetorical question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People rarely want to know ' how you are ' try it - the next person that asks you tell them the absolute truth.

We all put a mask on to help us get through life.

But some people go out in public without the mask on.

When people ask them how they are they tell the truth - the horror

I was twenty-eight years old before anyone explained to me that "All right, mate?" was a rhetorical question. "

Haha - get the mask on - no one wants your misery

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/11/20 06:51:38]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People rarely want to know ' how you are ' try it - the next person that asks you tell them the absolute truth.

We all put a mask on to help us get through life.

But some people go out in public without the mask on.

When people ask them how they are they tell the truth - the horror

I was twenty-eight years old before anyone explained to me that "All right, mate?" was a rhetorical question.

Haha - get the mask on - no one wants your misery

I must say, I don't recall ever greeting someone with "how are you?" Subconsciously, I start with what sort of weather it is that day..."Hello. Isn't it a lovely/horrid day?", which then leads to how accurate a forecast has been and what to expect in the coming days.

I'm not being facetious. That is what I do and your point has made me realise it. Perhaps it's because I am, inadvertently, telling that person not to discuss how they are with me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People rarely want to know ' how you are ' try it - the next person that asks you tell them the absolute truth.

We all put a mask on to help us get through life.

But some people go out in public without the mask on.

When people ask them how they are they tell the truth - the horror

I was twenty-eight years old before anyone explained to me that "All right, mate?" was a rhetorical question.

Haha - get the mask on - no one wants your misery

I'm not being facetious. That is what I do and your point has made me realise it. Perhaps it's because I am, inadvertently, telling that person not to discuss how they are with me."

Yeah you probably are

No one wants to hear it

We all consciously or subconsciously avoid anything that makes us feel uncomfortable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the many things that infuriates me about relentlessly positive people:

There's a problem brewing. Everyone can see it. It will, eventually, blow the fuck up.

"Err, guys," I say. "There's a problem brewing. We should fix it."

"WAH WAH WAH STOP BEING SO NEGATIVE!" say the relentlessly positive people. "Just clap your hands and believe! LA LA LA!"

Problem blows the fuck up. Chaos and disorder, people losing their jobs, whatever.

"We should have just fixed that problem I told you all about months ago. We could have avoided all this."

"GOD YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE!"

Rinse and repeat until we all die. "

Glitter

Cake

Etc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People rarely want to know ' how you are ' try it - the next person that asks you tell them the absolute truth.

We all put a mask on to help us get through life.

But some people go out in public without the mask on.

When people ask them how they are they tell the truth - the horror

I was twenty-eight years old before anyone explained to me that "All right, mate?" was a rhetorical question.

Haha - get the mask on - no one wants your misery

I'm not being facetious. That is what I do and your point has made me realise it. Perhaps it's because I am, inadvertently, telling that person not to discuss how they are with me.

Yeah you probably are

No one wants to hear it

We all consciously or subconsciously avoid anything that makes us feel uncomfortable.

This is a very good point. I will ponder on it. Now that I'm older and have more time on my hands, I really ought to be more aware of it. We don't need to offer solutions. Just listening is enough sometimes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am quite a negative person, I dont mean to be but have been like that since birth. Too much positivity and trust leads to hurt.

I make sure I am bubbly and smiley when around people though so they don't feel the burden

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am quite a negative person, I dont mean to be but have been like that since birth. Too much positivity and trust leads to hurt.

I make sure I am bubbly and smiley when around people though so they don't feel the burden

Does anyone know this about you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am quite a negative person, I dont mean to be but have been like that since birth. Too much positivity and trust leads to hurt.

I make sure I am bubbly and smiley when around people though so they don't feel the burden

Get the mask on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I am a cynic, which people can view as negative. Its born out of my personal experiences; hope for the best prepare for the worst.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I think negativity is just a social construct used by those who deem themselves positive to label others. Leave them alone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

There are deffo negative people it's just who they are I think I dont think they intend to b ! Spose we all different x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

I’m a positive person, always look for the best in people and the best outcome on events, I think it would be quite draining to be negative about things.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I find positive people draining at times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find people draining

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The most draining people I have ever met exist at tourist hotels trying to get people to join in games around the pool

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The most draining people I have ever met exist at tourist hotels trying to get people to join in games around the pool "

Do they like lamb chops too ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"The most draining people I have ever met exist at tourist hotels trying to get people to join in games around the pool

Do they like lamb chops too ?"

I know you do.. perfect fallback excuse..

But these snakes were probably discarded skins.. they she'd them and grow.. they hibernate in the winter but if real you may have had a lucky escape..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"People rarely want to know ' how you are ' try it - the next person that asks you tell them the absolute truth.

We all put a mask on to help us get through life.

But some people go out in public without the mask on.

When people ask them how they are they tell the truth - the horror

I'm fortunate that I had this explained to me as a child. It's not a real question it's a verbal gesture. Lie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The most draining people I have ever met exist at tourist hotels trying to get people to join in games around the pool

Do they like lamb chops too ?

I know you do.. perfect fallback excuse..

But these snakes were probably discarded skins.. they she'd them and grow.. they hibernate in the winter but if real you may have had a lucky escape.."

You keep telling yourself that buddy, I know what I saw though man, that snake was moving pretty fast, pretty fast indeed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"The most draining people I have ever met exist at tourist hotels trying to get people to join in games around the pool

Do they like lamb chops too ?

I know you do.. perfect fallback excuse..

But these snakes were probably discarded skins.. they she'd them and grow.. they hibernate in the winter but if real you may have had a lucky escape..

You keep telling yourself that buddy, I know what I saw though man, that snake was moving pretty fast, pretty fast indeed

Faster than you could run...lucky escape..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I prefer misanthropes...

They’re always more interesting people than happy clappers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

People trying to get me to join in at Christmas parties..

Leave me alone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread