FabSwingers.com forum: Losing the art of conversation

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone else? I spend the largest part of my life out in the middle of nowhere working without seeing one person. I used to be on the forums a lot, now I can t think of anything to say. Thats just not me...or at least wasn t me

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By *umstibleMan
over a year ago

Colindale

It becomes easier if you try and input more of what you think into what your saying.

For example;

I could have said 'yh i agrea' and left this thread, but here is me explaining what i mean

In the real, i would advise you ask questions if your finding it hard to talk. This means getting the other person to talk more then you.

As they finish what they are saying, ask something else about what they just mentioned.

Eventually, after 2-3 questions you will build up enough material to have an input yourself.

And the most important rule of all. If you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything.

Just making a comment for the sake of it is not good conversation etiquette

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It might be you, it also might be there's nothing that particularly interests you on here at the moment.

I don't think it's losing the art of conversation - I don't post on as many threads as I once did, not because I've become a crap conversationalist but fewer things engage me. I'd much rather read one post where the person is genuinely engaging/interested than another crappy "some do, some don't" reply.

Think of a real life conversation/one with friends. You're far more likely to respond if it's open rather than closed. A lot of threads atm are rather closed - they give you room to discuss you but very little else.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Conversation is a two way street and takes some effort. If you’re not getting the reward then it’s natural that you won’t make the effort.

Maybe look for more stimulating conversation elsewhere?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It might be you, it also might be there's nothing that particularly interests you on here at the moment.

I agree with ^^this^^.

Even though I've only been using the forums for about four months they are a lot quieter than they were. At the moment there aren't as many threads which I feel the need to respond to - and if I did I'd just be repeating myself with stuff I've commented before.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah sorry for this thread if I knew how to delete it I would it was a bit spontaneous..no thought went into it...please ignore.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Yeah sorry for this thread if I knew how to delete it I would it was a bit spontaneous..no thought went into it...please ignore."

Not at all, it’s a valid point and probably better than another “rate the poster above” thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah sorry for this thread if I knew how to delete it I would it was a bit spontaneous..no thought went into it...please ignore."

Spontaneity is good and it is an interesting topic. I'm sure there are a few people on the forum who won't ignore the thread.

I've retreated a bit inside myself over the last week or so and haven't had any thread ideas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It becomes easier if you try and input more of what you think into what your saying.

For example;

I could have said 'yh i agrea' and left this thread, but here is me explaining what i mean

In the real, i would advise you ask questions if your finding it hard to talk. This means getting the other person to talk more then you.

As they finish what they are saying, ask something else about what they just mentioned.

Eventually, after 2-3 questions you will build up enough material to have an input yourself.

And the most important rule of all. If you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything.

Just making a comment for the sake of it is not good conversation etiquette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah sorry for this thread if I knew how to delete it I would it was a bit spontaneous..no thought went into it...please ignore."

I think it's an interesting conversation piece actually.

I think lockdown isolation is probably affecting a lot of people this year. Social interaction can be rare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone else? I spend the largest part of my life out in the middle of nowhere working without seeing one person. I used to be on the forums a lot, now I can t think of anything to say. Thats just not me...or at least wasn t me

I can relate.

I rarely speak to people in person these days and do very little so I don't have a lot to say.

But I dont see the need for constant chatter - it's nice to be quiet sometimes.

Until something or someone comes along thats worth talking about / to x

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

If anything I have had more conversations in lockdown physically than ever before, so many people are wanting to chat in the local area seeking reassurance, that others are going through what they are. We do have lots of single elderly and vulnerable people here though

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Quality not quantity is what's important maybe you're waiting for a forum topic that hits a chord and I bet it'll relight your passion

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have borderline personality disorder and because Im used to working solo and being solo a lot of my time I didn t expect this whole situation to affect me but it has. My " splits are proving harder to manage as one side fights for its desire for silence, bearing in mind I lived homeless and solitary in a woodland for two years but then another side craves the recent out there dancing exhibitionist that lives for music and dance..both pretty much now banned...I know theres many people out there having their own issues and my heart goes out to all. When Im spontaneous the world is my oyster and look out cos anything can happen in so many great and funny ways but for me and many more...the silence is creeping..so slam on that music and lets dance...dont bow down to silence people kick it in the ass with some attitude

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I have definitely lost this. I spend 13hrs a day at work with nothing more than a hallo or goodbye. I now struggle to put a coherent sentence together

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By *hazarMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hey Dude long time no see.

Unless you have lost language skills since we last talked... Your fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cobblesnatchers are delirious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have definitely lost this. I spend 13hrs a day at work with nothing more than a hallo or goodbye. I now struggle to put a coherent sentence together

I understand this totally as I ve worked 7 days a week since all this kicked off...I m fine talking to myself or in my case, myselves, but sometimes it can get a lil daft. Take care fella. If ever you just wanna say hi or whatever then Im around..though during the day I ve rarely got a signal but will always answer

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cobblesnatchers are delirious

What the hell is a cobblesnatcher...you been watching the hobbit or something

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey Dude long time no see.

Unless you have lost language skills since we last talked... Your fine

Oh no I got language skills...every known word to man that is in bad language book is regularly and daily used on the job Im doing...in fact I think Im wearing them out fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have borderline personality disorder and because Im used to working solo and being solo a lot of my time I didn t expect this whole situation to affect me but it has. My " splits are proving harder to manage as one side fights for its desire for silence, bearing in mind I lived homeless and solitary in a woodland for two years but then another side craves the recent out there dancing exhibitionist that lives for music and dance..both pretty much now banned...I know theres many people out there having their own issues and my heart goes out to all. When Im spontaneous the world is my oyster and look out cos anything can happen in so many great and funny ways but for me and many more...the silence is creeping..so slam on that music and lets dance...dont bow down to silence people kick it in the ass with some attitude

Do you think you're finding it difficult because socialising is 'banned'?

Before you were happy alone because it's what you wanted, not because you *have to* be that way?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you think you're finding it difficult because socialising is 'banned'?

Before you were happy alone because it's what you wanted, not because you *have to* be that way? "

Yeah. Thing is I had a meltdown a few years back and discovered the real me in amongst the crap...and I was able to balance the silence with dancing and parties but as you said the cant and not allowed has removed that balance..my friends were dancers and so with dance has gone my social scene...its all pretty complex

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Tree I very much doubt you've lost the art of conversation. I'm pretty sure we could chat easily about, dance, old folk law and nature. It's probably that spark for a full on conversation hasn't materialised

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

You have the internet, can you not do these zoom group dancing things ?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"You have the internet, can you not do these zoom group dancing things ?"

I've done my dance classes over zoom. It's actually a nightmare as you have to mirror things, plus a living room is really constructive even if you move furniture into another room. It's a bit like cam sex Vs the real thing. It's good but not the same feeling

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have the internet, can you not do these zoom group dancing things ?"

I have internet but only on my phone and Im an old ways technophobe..if i hit a button to zoom then it would be the wrong button and the phone would have a meltdown...plus I lose focus with screens whether it be tv or social media.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Tree I very much doubt you've lost the art of conversation. I'm pretty sure we could chat easily about, dance, old folk law and nature. It's probably that spark for a full on conversation hasn't materialised

Hey you...I can talk about so much but my borderline is unbalanced whereby the silence is getting harder to battle. Because it is the predominant side of my current life it is becoming the dominant side of me...a constant battle to dig in and pull myself out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"You have the internet, can you not do these zoom group dancing things ?

I wouldn't know how to zoom stuff either

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

You know where I am if you want a chat. And I know that place inside where you kinda hide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s funny how much I enjoy going to the supermarket and chatting to the person on the checkout. And I struggle to shut up in zoom calls and phone calls. I think we are all craving more conversation at the moment. We are social beings, so even the more introverted of us are finding the need for more social interaction.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Ah for the love of borderline personality...Im struggling to know whether Im Grizzly Adams or party animal...it sounds funny I know but its hard work involving a lot of discipline. This thread was me refusing to give in. One response can make the difference between me sinking deeper or dragging my ass out...so thank you to all...you ve dragged me out

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Yeaaay. Keep posting, we'll keep answering

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"It might be you, it also might be there's nothing that particularly interests you on here at the moment.

That’s exactly it Meli

most of the really inclusive forum users are down rabbit holes!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

'sup?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s funny how much I enjoy going to the supermarket and chatting to the person on the checkout. And I struggle to shut up in zoom calls and phone calls. I think we are all craving more conversation at the moment. We are social beings, so even the more introverted of us are finding the need for more social interaction."
.

I understand this though with real time people outside I don t say anything. I ve read so much angst and heard so many judgemental stuff that I stay away from outside contact whereas on here I can get into chat and politely bow out.

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

This. I didn’t realise. And then when I’m home, everyone is working. I feel like I barely string a sentence together now.. and I struggle to think of simple words.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You know where I am if you want a chat. And I know that place inside where you kinda hide

Hey you and thanks...thought Id done away with my hideaway as I don t like it..with it comes stuff I have to then deal with...but I ve not been beaten yet and won t be.

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

"It becomes easier if you try and input more of what you think into what your saying.

For example;

I could have said 'yh i agrea' and left this thread, but here is me explaining what i mean

In the real, i would advise you ask questions if your finding it hard to talk. This means getting the other person to talk more then you.

As they finish what they are saying, ask something else about what they just mentioned.

Eventually, after 2-3 questions you will build up enough material to have an input yourself.

And the most important rule of all. If you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything.

Just making a comment for the sake of it is not good conversation etiquette

I respect this reply. Once I’m more than 4/5 lines in, I feel like I’m boring anyone reading and my brain just shuts down or I tail off. Or I feel condescending

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

No one has really done much this year.

Maybe it’s not dying, maybe we just have nothing to talk about

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It becomes easier if you try and input more of what you think into what your saying.

For example;

I could have said 'yh i agrea' and left this thread, but here is me explaining what i mean

In the real, i would advise you ask questions if your finding it hard to talk. This means getting the other person to talk more then you.

As they finish what they are saying, ask something else about what they just mentioned.

Eventually, after 2-3 questions you will build up enough material to have an input yourself.

And the most important rule of all. If you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything.

Just making a comment for the sake of it is not good conversation etiquette

I respect this reply. Once I’m more than 4/5 lines in, I feel like I’m boring anyone reading and my brain just shuts down or I tail off. Or I feel condescending

Yes exactly...know that feeling myself

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By *umstibleMan
over a year ago

Colindale

"It becomes easier if you try and input more of what you think into what your saying.

For example;

I could have said 'yh i agrea' and left this thread, but here is me explaining what i mean

In the real, i would advise you ask questions if your finding it hard to talk. This means getting the other person to talk more then you.

As they finish what they are saying, ask something else about what they just mentioned.

Eventually, after 2-3 questions you will build up enough material to have an input yourself.

And the most important rule of all. If you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything.

Just making a comment for the sake of it is not good conversation etiquette

I respect this reply. Once I’m more than 4/5 lines in, I feel like I’m boring anyone reading and my brain just shuts down or I tail off. Or I feel condescending

Yes exactly...know that feeling myself"

Its easy to strike up a conversation when you know what to do, being a shy teenager i struggled a lot but as i gained more knowledge about the world it become easier, plus i learned things about conversation itself too which helped, for example people debating etc, watching these kind of stuff helped.

As an example i can give the following;

If there was a conversation about cars, i have nothing to input here so the way i would insert myself would be to ask questions.

If it were about;

Human psyche

Forex trading

Crypto currency

Buisness

Science

Travelling

Among many topics

I would have some knowledge or opinion to share so thats how i would proceed, but like i said, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.

And when you do say something, dont just say 'yeah space ships go fast dont they' add some detail, example or context to your comment.

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

"It becomes easier if you try and input more of what you think into what your saying.

For example;

I could have said 'yh i agrea' and left this thread, but here is me explaining what i mean

In the real, i would advise you ask questions if your finding it hard to talk. This means getting the other person to talk more then you.

As they finish what they are saying, ask something else about what they just mentioned.

Eventually, after 2-3 questions you will build up enough material to have an input yourself.

And the most important rule of all. If you have nothing nice to say, just don't say anything.

Just making a comment for the sake of it is not good conversation etiquette

I respect this reply. Once I’m more than 4/5 lines in, I feel like I’m boring anyone reading and my brain just shuts down or I tail off. Or I feel condescending

Yes exactly...know that feeling myself

As an example i can give the following;

If there was a conversation about cars, i have nothing to input here so the way i would insert myself would be to ask questions.

If it were about;

Human psyche

Forex trading

Crypto currency

Buisness

Science

Travelling

Among many topics

I would have some knowledge or opinion to share so thats how i would proceed, but like i said, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.

And when you do say something, dont just say 'yeah space ships go fast dont they' add some detail, example or context to your comment."

What about stock trading? I seem to have hit a lul!

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By *umstibleMan
over a year ago

Colindale

What about stock trading? I seem to have hit a lul!

I haven't ever traded in the stock markets yet, studying the stuff now tho lol so maybe in a few years time with some luck

I hear its tricky

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

What about stock trading? I seem to have hit a lul!

I haven't ever traded in the stock markets yet, studying the stuff now tho lol so maybe in a few years time with some luck

I hear its tricky

With the lockdown/oil crash at the start of the year, I pumped a few grand into oil companies I knew would never fold and made a fair whack. Now that it’s all levelled off, I’m at a stand still.

I’ll be back in a few years to get your tips! I’m relying on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Why can't you be both? Grizzly Adams the party animal.

Some days quiet and some days not.

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By *umstibleMan
over a year ago

Colindale

What about stock trading? I seem to have hit a lul!

I haven't ever traded in the stock markets yet, studying the stuff now tho lol so maybe in a few years time with some luck

I hear its tricky

With the lockdown/oil crash at the start of the year, I pumped a few grand into oil companies I knew would never fold and made a fair whack. Now that it’s all levelled off, I’m at a stand still.

I’ll be back in a few years to get your tips! I’m relying on you

Loooooool wish i was here before could have pumbed myself!

I like crypto these days, i love buying an unkown coin and it moons within a week. You get 50x fold sometimes, its unbelievable.

I turned my 10 pound into 45 last week and wanted to kill myself for not investing more lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Why can't you be both? Grizzly Adams the party animal.

Some days quiet and some days not. "

As a norm that was the balance and it was great but since I work almost everyday on my own the silence is becoming the stronger side...its a bpd thing..complex. imagine each personality being an actor on stage...there is always a battle for the spotlight.

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

What about stock trading? I seem to have hit a lul!

I haven't ever traded in the stock markets yet, studying the stuff now tho lol so maybe in a few years time with some luck

I hear its tricky

With the lockdown/oil crash at the start of the year, I pumped a few grand into oil companies I knew would never fold and made a fair whack. Now that it’s all levelled off, I’m at a stand still.

I’ll be back in a few years to get your tips! I’m relying on you

Loooooool wish i was here before could have pumbed myself!

I like crypto these days, i love buying an unkown coin and it moons within a week. You get 50x fold sometimes, its unbelievable.

I turned my 10 pound into 45 last week and wanted to kill myself for not investing more lol"

Crypto and forex is too taxing for me. I can’t follow enough of what’s happening. I last invested in XRP and didn’t make nor lose -to my knowledge- but I stopped working with my crypto correspondent so I thought best to sell out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Why can't you be both? Grizzly Adams the party animal.

Some days quiet and some days not.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Just trying to help. X

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"No one has really done much this year.

Maybe it’s not dying, maybe we just have nothing to talk about

This

Had a Zoom call with my school friends and we really struggled with conversation because no-one had done anything apart from work and exist. The friend who'd moved to the Netherlands in June/July hadn't even really done anything - "how's things over there?" "Good, easy to move in, just been working" and that's about it. Even moving to a whole new country didn't generate much chit chat!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Why can't you be both? Grizzly Adams the party animal.

Some days quiet and some days not.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Just trying to help. X"

Hey no offence taken believe me...none at all...its nice to talk about it now...I ve only just recealed it to my dancing friends and it answered so many things for them and it meant I can now know they understand when I get bitten in the arse by it...so ask away.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

...............,,

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Why can't you be both? Grizzly Adams the party animal.

Some days quiet and some days not.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Just trying to help. X

You’re doing the best thing by chatting here and loosening off. Soon you’ll be right into the swing of things and we’ll all be like “my god I wish that treemonkey would shut the fuck up”

Only joking mate. Chat away and Release your issues and lack of communication

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel very much the same.. Connections are built on shared experiences and the only experiences I have lately are work, eat, sleep .. Rinse + repeat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I feel very much the same.. Connections are built on shared experiences and the only experiences I have lately are work, eat, sleep .. Rinse + repeat

Yeah precisely..thats it since january for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well tree if this thread is anything to go by, you are a long way from losing the art of conversation

Why can't you be both? Grizzly Adams the party animal.

Some days quiet and some days not.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. Just trying to help. X

You’re doing the best thing by chatting here and loosening off. Soon you’ll be right into the swing of things and we’ll all be like “my god I wish that treemonkey would shut the fuck up”

Only joking mate. Chat away and Release your issues and lack of communication

Hahaha...yeah...no doubt on that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel very much the same.. Connections are built on shared experiences and the only experiences I have lately are work, eat, sleep .. Rinse + repeat

This is the key. As things have slowed we only really have this lockdown stuff in common and some find the topic depressing. I’ve tried to engage with people on potential shared plans for future and items of interest that make them happy

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Hey tree know you've gone for now. Hope you're ok

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Oh. I liked treemonkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take care x

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

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