FabSwingers.com forum: You think you're so special!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seen a status update about ppl thinking theyre something special on here

Why do folk on here crack on at you for having a bit of self confidence?! Theres so many shaming threads and comments on here. It can be hard to be happy with yourself. So why add to that?

Whats the remedy here folks?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not special. I'm just unique.

Just like everyone else.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Sadly I'm not sure there is one - there will always be those that bandy phrases like that about because they are butt hurt by rejection, there will always be those that *do* think they're somehow special, those whose idea of inclusiveness is within their own circle and more besides.

Know that's not an answer and nor should it be - but sadly in an environment where you have disparate people coming together on one web page it will always be the case - have seen it in most internet forums and not just ones relating to swinging, for almost 20 years now and really can't see it changing.

All you can do is grow a thick skin and focus on your own use and enjoyment of the site whilst trying to remain respectful and considerate of others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umstibleMan
over a year ago

Colindale

I think you might have hit it on the head there by saying people are scared of confidence.

Weak ego's and weak minds cannot handle rejection or even a polite no. They think the world owes them something, like we all need to get in line and listen to what they have to say.

Personally, im a fan of confidence. I like strong, smart and independent people in general. I especially like these qualities in women but, as the paradox goes, independent women, do not need me as much as i need them

As for the nasty threads who are 'just asking' but really making a statement, well their IQ not need much discussion lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think, in the UK at least, that we are culturally disposed to enjoy a bit of negativity

Watch the threads in these very forums

The ones asking for things we dislike fill up way quicker than the ones asking for things we like

Knocking down the overly confident is a national pastime

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

It is my opinion that this type of status are from individuals that lack the skills/ability to get themselves a shag

And it’s probably due to frustration , envy , jealousy, and possibly some arrogance thrown in too .

I’d let them wallow in their misery myself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fine line between confidence and arrogance. Nothing wrong with confidence at all, it should be encouraged.

Arrogant people are wankers tho tbh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

I’m the complete opposite. I don’t have self confidence anymore. Trying my upmost to find it though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it could be because other people think and tell others that they have a weak mind, weak egos and are butt hurt about rejection and are therefore inferior human beings. Maybe that confirms their own self perception and that fuels their self-loathing,causing them to feel worse about themselves so they lash out. I find it hard to esteem myself if I am not esteemed by others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Not gonna lie, I AM special. I make no apologies for it.

And guess what? It wasn't even my mumma that told me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum says I'm special.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just me and always will be. If people don't like no worries

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the queen of self deprecation ... the only way is up from that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Oh and the remedy?

Self acceptance, being able to sleep at night knowing you're not a bad cunt.

Know you're own worth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm a confident woman type person.

Sorry not fecking sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Seen a status update about ppl thinking theyre something special on here

Why do folk on here crack on at you for having a bit of self confidence?! Theres so many shaming threads and comments on here. It can be hard to be happy with yourself. So why add to that?

Whats the remedy here folks?

Spread positivity where you can, be compassionate (but also forthright and strong in your convictions), and ask yourself if it's really worth engaging in the bad stuff.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I’m confident. Take me or leave me, I don’t really care.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Oh and the remedy?

Self acceptance, being able to sleep at night knowing you're not a bad cunt.

Know you're own worth."

Nail on the head and said so much more simply than I did

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

They’re usually the first ones to tell you how gorgeous/amazing/sexy/beautiful you are. The minute you agree with them they get annoyed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I am uber confident and I stick to treating others how I would like to be treated myself, kindness spreads if they want to hear it, if they don't then just walk away, can't please all the people all the time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate that too OP. Put it down to jealousy. I have a lot of friends and we all praise eachother daily. It's amazing being around people who boost you and cheer you on rather than pick holes in things they haven't got or can't do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hate that too OP. Put it down to jealousy. I have a lot of friends and we all praise eachother daily. It's amazing being around people who boost you and cheer you on rather than pick holes in things they haven't got or can't do.

What if your friends didn't explicitly praise you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ollycouple71Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"Fine line between confidence and arrogance. Nothing wrong with confidence at all, it should be encouraged.

Arrogant people are wankers tho tbh.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amanthaJonesTrans1966TV/TS
over a year ago

Portsmouth

[Removed by poster at 15/11/20 06:47:16]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amanthaJonesTrans1966TV/TS
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Years ago I was a quiet shy person not really confident, but due to a breakdown in my marriage I hit rock bottom, nearly commited suicude, I couldn't have hit any lower down, it felt like I was crawling the gutters, with the support from talking to a counselling service, I bounced back out of the gutter, but I didnt stop where I was originally, I continued to bounce, that's when Samantha came out of her shell, she started going out for walks at night times til one night, a car pulled up alongside me a a male and woman asked if they could chat with me, so they pulled in to the side road, which happened to be where I lived, and they asked me questions, soon found out that they thought that I was a prostitute looking for business, when they asked for my name and address, that's when they showed me the warrant cards, 2 plain clothed police officers, so I gave them my real name, the male officer was gob-smacked, just stood there my mouth ajar, the wpc said it's not fair, she said that I have a better figure, walks in higher high heels than her, lovely make up, so I invited her round at some time, well I was so surprised that they considered me a woman because it was a cctv operator who had been watching me go for my walk which was about 2 miles in 4 inch high heel knee high block high heel boots and mini skirt and top, my confidence took a massive boost that night, since then I help other tgirls come out their shells, taking them to tgirl friendly bars and clubs and hotels etc and they are all slightly nervous at first, but as soon as they see how relaxed that I am, they soon start to relax and enjoy the night out.

Then I was asked to do a make over for a newly found transvestite, she came round, got changed and then I did my bit in her transformation, she was so surprised in her new look, she asked for the list of products I used and asked about the techniques, soon I was getting more tgirls asking me to do their make up, other girls ask where do I get my heels and outfits because they go together so well. Makes me feel as if I am doing something right, which gives me a bigger boost in confidence.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

There is nothing so off putting as a negative person.

Look the other way and enjoy the better vibes.

Life's too short to be affected by other people's poison.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seen a status update about ppl thinking theyre something special on here

Why do folk on here crack on at you for having a bit of self confidence?! Theres so many shaming threads and comments on here. It can be hard to be happy with yourself. So why add to that?

Whats the remedy here folks?

People posting nasty things are just bitter about being rejected

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Years ago I was a quiet shy person not really confident, but due to a breakdown in my marriage I hit rock bottom, nearly commited suicude, I couldn't have hit any lower down, it felt like I was crawling the gutters, with the support from talking to a counselling service, I bounced back out of the gutter, but I didnt stop where I was originally, I continued to bounce, that's when Samantha came out of her shell, she started going out for walks at night times til one night, a car pulled up alongside me a a male and woman asked if they could chat with me, so they pulled in to the side road, which happened to be where I lived, and they asked me questions, soon found out that they thought that I was a prostitute looking for business, when they asked for my name and address, that's when they showed me the warrant cards, 2 plain clothed police officers, so I gave them my real name, the male officer was gob-smacked, just stood there my mouth ajar, the wpc said it's not fair, she said that I have a better figure, walks in higher high heels than her, lovely make up, so I invited her round at some time, well I was so surprised that they considered me a woman because it was a cctv operator who had been watching me go for my walk which was about 2 miles in 4 inch high heel knee high block high heel boots and mini skirt and top, my confidence took a massive boost that night, since then I help other tgirls come out their shells, taking them to tgirl friendly bars and clubs and hotels etc and they are all slightly nervous at first, but as soon as they see how relaxed that I am, they soon start to relax and enjoy the night out.

Love this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m the complete opposite. I don’t have self confidence anymore. Trying my upmost to find it though. "

What happened?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is nobody like me ever on the planet, I am unique and I've worked hard to get my confidence, take more than text on a screen to strip it

Hater hate, Taters tate, let them bang that pan

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I hate the way that some women pull each other down

We are what we are,I find confident people very sexy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seen a status update about ppl thinking theyre something special on here

Why do folk on here crack on at you for having a bit of self confidence?! Theres so many shaming threads and comments on here. It can be hard to be happy with yourself. So why add to that?

Whats the remedy here folks?

It really comes down to if you are a person who likes brutal honesty or you want people to blow smoke up your ass.....

Example:

If you put I’m only looking for gym fit , white/black/asian people age 20-40 in your profile... someone will think you’re up your own ass... but in reality you are saving their time and yours.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amanthaJonesTrans1966TV/TS
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Seen a status update about ppl thinking theyre something special on here

Why do folk on here crack on at you for having a bit of self confidence?! Theres so many shaming threads and comments on here. It can be hard to be happy with yourself. So why add to that?

Whats the remedy here folks?

It really comes down to if you are a person who likes brutal honesty or you want people to blow smoke up your ass.....

Example:

Thats exactly my thoughts, that way you're not wasting their time or mine by having to say thanks but no thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have self confidence until someone dislikes a whole race of people for no apparent reason other than they are actual cunts.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

It really comes down to if you are a person who likes brutal honesty or you want people to blow smoke up your ass.....

Example:

Thats exactly my thoughts, that way you're not wasting their time or mine by having to say thanks but no thanks"

Exactly this

I am aware that my profile is demanding but those “specifics” are what floats my boat .

Still most of my mailers , despite professing having read and found my profile interesting , are skinny 5’4 guys living in Glasgow that cannot accommodate, only looking for daytime weekday fun and don’t enclose a face photo

I’m not saying that I “deserve” a 6’3 local hunks but that’s what I want and I’m happy to wait for them and abstain from Fab meets until I catch their attention .

After all if we want “randoms” .... in normal times a night out on the town would sort that out ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have self confidence until someone dislikes a whole race of people for no apparent reason other than they are actual cunts. "

Why does them being a cunt affect your self confidence?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread