FabSwingers.com forum: Whats the difference between preference and fetish?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why is it men can have a thing for blondes and thats preference, but if he says he likes big women its a fetish?

I see comments like 'i dont want to be someones fetish' frequently on here thats all..

Curious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take it to mean, in the real world they would choose partners who had blonde hair the majority of the time but they have a thing (fetish) for fucking larger ladies but wouldn’t actually date them in the real world.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Preference for me is I rather Tetley tea but I'll happily drink other tea. But I will only drink diet which is more like a fetish.

No in all seriousness, fetish in this sense to me is when they see one certain attribute and see nothing else about me. The amount of messages I get saying I've never had a redhead, as though I'm something to be ticked off a bucket list. I personally find it rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think fetish is when it’s sexualised.

Like it’s something that specifically turns them on sexually.

A preference would just be something you favour over another like I prefer galaxy but if there’s nothing here but Cadbury’s I will eat that!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

A fetish would be a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular thing, like latex or fatness etc. Whereas a preference is greater liking for one alternative (Blondes) over another (Brunettes) or others (Purple/PinkRinse).

A fetish is a kind of sex based super sized preference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fetish is when you tickle her arse with a feather

Preference,is when it has to be a particular type of feather

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Fetish is when you tickle her arse with a feather

Preference,is when it has to be a particular type of feather

Sorry to be picky but should that not be the other way round?

And its like the difference between erotic and kinky - erotic is using the feather, kinky is using the whole chicken

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

To some extent it's semantics but I think the way that you've noticed fetish being used relates to a depersonalisation of someone's attributes.

Whilst we may be looking for no strings sex, most prefer to be wanted for their uniqueness, instead of being, for example, another hole. That will include their personality, as well as their physical qualities. If you feel that you are almost little more than a potential tick box exercise for someone, many could balk at the idea. It could be absolutely fine if all parties may have their own mutually satisfying tick box activity to enjoy but it would generally be seen as a 1 way thing.

Someone could be offering up their looks, their warmth and sensuous spirit, their inner soul, whilst the bloke just wants and perhaps would barely notice, anything beyond the specific attribute or act that he's driven to accomplish, with you being the accessory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fetish is technically something which needs to be present to get sexually aroused.

A preference is something you would desire above other things.

I have a preference for brunettes but it doesn't mean I would exclude any other hair colour.

If I had a fetish for big women then it is only big women that would get me sexually aroused.

The terms fetish and preference may be being used interchangably on here though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A females arse booty butt whatever you want to call it I've been obsessed with since a lad.

It's definitely a fetish for me as it's very relevant to my main kink in life.

I care very little about a females hair colour breast, waist, height or shoe size.

The only preferences I have is personality wise really as everyone should have surely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is the reason I've had to block single guys. The amount who have never been with someone like me before but "fancy a change" or "have always fancied it", as someone said above, I'm not just here to be a tick on someone's bucket list...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has a fetish, they have an unusually strong liking or need for a particular object or activity, as a way of getting sexual pleasure.

So, in the context of the OP's question, if someone had a fettish concerning larger ladies then it would become essential for the lady to be larger for them to derive sexual pleasure. It could extend to the point that the only attribute the lady required for them to be aroused would be their size, and the that in effect they would be purely objectified.

A preference, on the other hand, would be that given a choice a blonde would be preferable to a brunette, or DD and above on bust size for example. But a brunette with a C cup would still be be attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a trans I am fetishised by most I find anyway , men wonder why so many escort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A fetish is technically something which needs to be present to get sexually aroused.

A preference is something you would desire above other things.

The terms fetish and preference may be being used interchangably on here though."

This is how I understand the difference to be honest ... preference is just like clotted cream over custard but likes both with your dessert whereas a fetish is what gets you sexually aroused!

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By *addyBabygirl2020Couple
over a year ago

norwich

If I had a fetish for big women then it is only big women that would get me sexually aroused.

though

I don't think this is quite right. We both have a few fetishes, some quite extreme.

However we don't need these to get sexually aroused, and they often don't play a part in sex or only to a small level.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had a fetish for big women then it is only big women that would get me sexually aroused.

though

I don't think this is quite right. We both have a few fetishes, some quite extreme.

However we don't need these to get sexually aroused, and they often don't play a part in sex or only to a small level.

Fetish in BDSM probably has a slightly watered down meaning ('A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience').

As with many words in English there can be degrees (shades) of meaning. Originally fetish was an object imbued with magical powers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I had a fetish for big women then it is only big women that would get me sexually aroused.

though

I don't think this is quite right. We both have a few fetishes, some quite extreme.

However we don't need these to get sexually aroused, and they often don't play a part in sex or only to a small level."

In the strictest sense, a fetish requires that to be present to get aroused. If you can get by without it, then it would be a preference or a kink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fetish in BDSM probably has a slightly watered down meaning ('A specific obsession or delight in one object or experience').

As with many words in English there can be degrees (shades) of meaning. Originally fetish was an object imbued with magical powers."

This...

And an example would be "Fetish clothing" which is often marketed and sold on purely aesthetic grounds, without there being a strict fetish desire.

Fetish objects in certain agent civilisations had strong religious significance and were often carved objects. You can see where that is going, right?

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By *umstibleMan
over a year ago

Colindale

"I think fetish is when it’s sexualised.

Like it’s something that specifically turns them on sexually.

A preference would just be something you favour over another like I prefer galaxy but if there’s nothing here but Cadbury’s I will eat that! "

So far this is the clearest most accurate description i saw.

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