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Masculinity and femininity

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I do definitely have masculine traits, I'm not a girly girl.

Any man who feels emasculated or intimidated because a woman knows more about a supposedly male task, is not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am quite blokey and terribly practical... If that upsets a guy,they need to deal with that as it is their uncertainty about their masculinity and nothing to do with mine... I have never heard of a woman that got pissy about a bloke giving them a make up or cooking tip... Gender stereotypes help nobody.

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By *igmaMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I'd have just watched him take his car to pieces just for my own amusement

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

It’s wise to know when not to tell a guy how to do the job! Even if you know how to do it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd have just watched him take his car to pieces just for my own amusement"

Was trying to impress to be honest. Think a lot of it is to impress. Like look at what I know, look at how you do this it will help you. It’s trying too hard to be liked. Guys may claim to not know what goes on in a woman’s head but they have a sixth sense for when a woman is too keen.

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

I think gender stereotypes is regards to masculinity and feminine is starting to go out the window slowly.

Time have changed, i have female friends who can fixed cars, plumbing, DIY etc. If they can help brilliant, but i don't feel my masculine has been diminished. Same with women who can't cook and i know a few, but they dont feel their femininity has been affected if i cook for them.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London


" Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

"

You didn't do anything wrong. If a man can't handle that a woman might know something he doesn't, he needs to grow up a bit.

Masculinity is so fragile for men sometimes, it's sad. Imagine being upset a woman is good at something. That's the embarrassing thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s wise to know when not to tell a guy how to do the job! Even if you know how to do it"

This is true but terrible... I would be fucking livid if someone let me make a prick of myself like that... Unless a very close friend taking the piss lol... I find the fact people can't tell other people, things that would help them, because it might make them feel insecure in themselves, very sad... Especially bloody grown ups!

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By *aenMan
over a year ago

Here and There

Sounds like you’re just exposing their inherent insecurities. Their problem not yours.

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By *irewolffMan
over a year ago

Dublin

I wouldnt change the way I am or say in case it made a guy feel less of a man.

Tough shit. Deal with it.

I wouldnt be offensive or anything however.

MsD

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Problem solving isn't masculine or feminine....you sound a very helpful and pragmatic friend to have around ....

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


" Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

You didn't do anything wrong. If a man can't handle that a woman might know something he doesn't, he needs to grow up a bit.

Masculinity is so fragile for men sometimes, it's sad. Imagine being upset a woman is good at something. That's the embarrassing thing. "

You ever seen that comic on male fragility, where she whispers that men can be fragile, and in the next scene all the men jump out and shout at her to protest?

that's what's in my head right now

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I can do anything I put my mind to (including wielding power tools if I have to) ....... except get the fucking lid off the jam jar!!!!!! Although I have a friend with an iron grip so I can nip round to her, she gets them off without even resorting to stabbing a hole in the lid. That impresses me.

I don’t care for stereotypes. But I’ll play along if there’s a handsome man I’m trying to flirt with.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

"

If you’re fixing cars and handing out viable business boosting tips then you sound pretty damn good to me.

I’ve got no issue with a lady knowing things I don’t. We’re all from different places, we’ve not all seen exactly the same things.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"I can do anything I put my mind to (including wielding power tools if I have to) ....... except get the fucking lid off the jam jar!!!!!! Although I have a friend with an iron grip so I can nip round to her, she gets them off without even resorting to stabbing a hole in the lid. That impresses me.

I don’t care for stereotypes. But I’ll play along if there’s a handsome man I’m trying to flirt with.

V x "

Just release the vacuum under the lid by levering round the edges with a spoon ... then the lid comes off easily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

You didn't do anything wrong. If a man can't handle that a woman might know something he doesn't, he needs to grow up a bit.

Masculinity is so fragile for men sometimes, it's sad. Imagine being upset a woman is good at something. That's the embarrassing thing. "

That’s nothing to do with masculinity, that’s just a fragile ego,

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

If you’re fixing cars and handing out viable business boosting tips then you sound pretty damn good to me.

I’ve got no issue with a lady knowing things I don’t. We’re all from different places, we’ve not all seen exactly the same things. "

Well I did work in Bosch for a few years making alternators for cars and lorries. Used a lot of tools there and my ex used to buy cars and do them up and would rope me into helping him so that’s the only reason I know some stuff on cars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Masculinity is a social construct anyway, so it’s irrelevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work for Renault and Nissan, we see both sides dealing with the public. Some women come in and if they don’t know what they mean or want usually they’ll say ‘I’m a girl’ or something along those lines, like it’s justification or like they need justification at all.

We get men who clearly have no clue but won’t admit it. Interesting how people are happy to play up to stereotypes when it suits or think it’s taboo to break them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I was the only girl in a large family of boys. So...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I work for Renault and Nissan, we see both sides dealing with the public. Some women come in and if they don’t know what they mean or want usually they’ll say ‘I’m a girl’ or something along those lines, like it’s justification or like they need justification at all.

We get men who clearly have no clue but won’t admit it. Interesting how people are happy to play up to stereotypes when it suits or think it’s taboo to break them."

Yes, it is

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"It’s wise to know when not to tell a guy how to do the job! Even if you know how to do it

This is true but terrible... I would be fucking livid if someone let me make a prick of myself like that... Unless a very close friend taking the piss lol... I find the fact people can't tell other people, things that would help them, because it might make them feel insecure in themselves, very sad... Especially bloody grown ups! "

I did say ‘ it’s wise to know when’ .... I didn’t say I wouldn’t!! No fear, I don’t feel insecure

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I am effeminate when I'm in male mode.

I am masculine when I am in female mode.

I just can't win ..bah !!!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

If I was a bloke I’d be impressed if a woman did all that OP!

I’m pretty crap. I’m very airy fairy and get all “damsel in distress” if something goes wrong.

But alas as a 6ft 2 bird, men automatically see past that helplessness and think I waft around able to carry beer kegs and Took kits.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm more man than woman in many ways. J know how my car works, I can change a tyre and all that crap. I'm forthright in the workplace and only ever use my actual ability/knowledge to advance myself, I'm not frightened to tell male colleagues what I think, where I see problems etc but also try and bring solutions.

I'm frankly a shit "woman" in the stereotypical sense. I don't wear any make up, I don't pluck my eyebrows or stick on fancy eyelashes. I don't paint my nails or have manicures and I hate clothes shopping. I'm about as graceful as a rhinoceros on roller skates and it took me till the age of about 25 to wear dresses and skirts.

I can explain the offside rule properly (both the current and previous versions) and am far more at home in a football stadium than anywhere else on a Saturday afternoon (in normal times).

Frankly the only traditionally feminine thing I do is be a mum, but I'm not even sure our kids recognise the "right" gender roles in us. I'm the only one who can drive, Mr does almost all the cooking. I'm the one working late/longer hours because I'm paid more, Mr does bath time.

I'm me and I always have been. I don't care what society says I should do or not do or what it says my husband should/shouldn't do. We're both really secure in ourselves and our abilities and we do what's needed/right/convenient for us. Works well for us.

Anyone who has tried to stereotype me in the past has met short shrift, but actually few people have. I've been more stereotyped as a wheelchair user than as a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s wise to know when not to tell a guy how to do the job! Even if you know how to do it

This is true but terrible... I would be fucking livid if someone let me make a prick of myself like that... Unless a very close friend taking the piss lol... I find the fact people can't tell other people, things that would help them, because it might make them feel insecure in themselves, very sad... Especially bloody grown ups!

I did say ‘ it’s wise to know when’ .... I didn’t say I wouldn’t!! No fear, I don’t feel insecure "

Haha! Good! (I hope that didn't sound ranty at you lol(

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm more man than woman in many ways. J know how my car works, I can change a tyre and all that crap. I'm forthright in the workplace and only ever use my actual ability/knowledge to advance myself, I'm not frightened to tell male colleagues what I think, where I see problems etc but also try and bring solutions.

I'm frankly a shit "woman" in the stereotypical sense. I don't wear any make up, I don't pluck my eyebrows or stick on fancy eyelashes. I don't paint my nails or have manicures and I hate clothes shopping. I'm about as graceful as a rhinoceros on roller skates and it took me till the age of about 25 to wear dresses and skirts.

I can explain the offside rule properly (both the current and previous versions) and am far more at home in a football stadium than anywhere else on a Saturday afternoon (in normal times).

Frankly the only traditionally feminine thing I do is be a mum, but I'm not even sure our kids recognise the "right" gender roles in us. I'm the only one who can drive, Mr does almost all the cooking. I'm the one working late/longer hours because I'm paid more, Mr does bath time.

I'm me and I always have been. I don't care what society says I should do or not do or what it says my husband should/shouldn't do. We're both really secure in ourselves and our abilities and we do what's needed/right/convenient for us. Works well for us.

Anyone who has tried to stereotype me in the past has met short shrift, but actually few people have. I've been more stereotyped as a wheelchair user than as a woman."

I'm all over the shop and I don't give a toss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a good mixture of both I think, ive been single a long time so am very independent, I know who I am, what I want and pretty sure on what I dont want. Im confident and outgoing. Some guys find this very attractive and have multiple comments made about how they love it. But then sadly there is also a large number of guys that don't like it and don't know how to approach it/handle it.

I've got a few great male friends and on previous conversations they have said it will be hard as some men will find me really intimidating because of it.

Once when I shaved my hair of a guy berated me on a dating site for it and said I was purposely trying to go against what a women should look like, and it me shouting out for attention from men it was quite shocking to be honest what he said and he wouldn't accept id done it for charity. He thought I had an issue with men! Lol

But they're are soooo many amazing men out there who can handle whoever each of us... but as we are special people it takes that bit longer to find the right match...

I think I went a bit off topic of what I was trying to say sorry lol

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

"

I think I've got quite a lot of feminine energy. More so than a lot of guys I know anyway. Probably too do with being brought up mainly by my mum when I was really young.

I'm not put off by whatever energies a women has to be honest. That's only a small part of who their personality.

Just be yourself, if you have masculine traits, embrace them. If they put the guy off, then that wasn't the guy for you as you can't hide who you are forever.

Personally I think if you know how to do something better than me or have a good idea, I'd want to know.

I'd be more annoyed if I'd done something the hard way and then later on found out that you knew a better way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say I'm definitely very feminine, I'm not sure that many, if any, of my traits are masculine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live together in perfect harmoninity

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Masculinity is a social construct anyway, so it’s irrelevant."

This. Gender roles are inherently toxic and need to go in the bin anyway.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I am me and don't associate with masculine or female traits. I identity as female thus to me all my traits are feminine to me.

This means that I'll happily pull apart and fix expensive analytical machines wearing a dress and heels if I want to. I personally believe that these thoughts of femininity and masculinity are a bit old fashioned, and we should just see people as individuals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman told me that I kissed like a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my masculine and feminine energies (yin and yang) are quite balanced. I am a reforming chauvinist, a journey I have been on for nearly four decades as I become aware of my un conscious biases and conditioning that need realigning. I don’t subscribe to gender stereotypes and live women who can do things I can’t, it makes for great teamwork

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been told I'm a man lots of times by people on here.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

In regards to society's supposed norms I am more masculine as I am tall, capable, confident and muscular. (ie I don't need protecting by a man)

I show femininity in my sexual lifestyle and parenting.

In my eyes I'm a mixed bag of both depending on my mood and what I want to be like at the time

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I am me and don't associate with masculine or female traits. I identity as female thus to me all my traits are feminine to me.

This means that I'll happily pull apart and fix expensive analytical machines wearing a dress and heels if I want to. I personally believe that these thoughts of femininity and masculinity are a bit old fashioned, and we should just see people as individuals. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I definitely think moving forward when it comes to dating, I’m going to embrace my femininity more. Be very girly and let the man be the man. As soon as I’m in a relationship I’ll be washing my hands with swarfega and pissing standing up.

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By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

"

Do we not all have traits that are just the product of who we are? Do you think it's progressive to label them masculine or feminine though is what I'm wondering? Sure ly that's regressive and playing into the old dichotomy of man=X, woman=y.

Like the second wave of feminism which tries to advance the idea that woman are intrinsically more nurturing/earth mother types. It's all social conditioning I reckon,and the labels just distract from appreciating each trait in isolation for what it is.(ie caring, stubborn,alpha, shy, subservient, etc, etc).

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

It’s interesting... my dishwasher broke down so I googled, thought it was the pump and decided to take the thing apart. Some friends commented how I didn’t ever need a man about the place. I was feeling dead chuffed with myself of course. Then I couldn’t fix it, the same friends suggested perhaps I did need that man after all.

Luckily a girlfriend is a plumber. She fixed it for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

"
I think in this day and age no one should be pussy footing around men just to avoid shattering their fragile ego. I think it's hot when a woman takes charge of things. But then I am not really the most masculine of people. Not in the sense of practicality anyway..I know shit about cars and DIY and all the usual "man" stuff. However I am a fucking wizard in the kitchen :p

Gender steriotypes are outdated. Be anyway you want to be.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

Gender steriotypes are outdated. Be anyway you want to be."

Yes!

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

Do we not all have traits that are just the product of who we are? Do you think it's progressive to label them masculine or feminine though is what I'm wondering? Sure ly that's regressive and playing into the old dichotomy of man=X, woman=y.

Like the second wave of feminism which tries to advance the idea that woman are intrinsically more nurturing/earth mother types. It's all social conditioning I reckon,and the labels just distract from appreciating each trait in isolation for what it is.(ie caring, stubborn,alpha, shy, subservient, etc, etc). "

I'm not great at explaining this, so apologies if I screw it up, but I'll try my best.

As part of evolution and reproduction, there are natural biological differences to the sexes.

Human personalities contain many traits, some are normally stronger in males and others in females, but we all have them to a degree.

These traits are often referred to as masculine and feminine energies. It isn't supposed to be a negative stereotype, but a way of describing the common natural personality differences between the sexes. Basically, just a categorisation to help with discussion.

For instance most women are naturally more nurturing than men, so that is a feminine trait. That doesn't mean a women can't lack the nurturing trait or that men can't have it, and there is absolutely nothing wrong if that is the case.

There is no negative or positive meaning in anyone having these, that negativity only comes from people looking at them and believing (incorrectly, in my opinion) that there is an issue with a women having lots of masculine traits (or vice versa)

Some people prefer to call these energies Ying and Yang, but to me that just makes it harder to understand what is being discussed.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

Do we not all have traits that are just the product of who we are? Do you think it's progressive to label them masculine or feminine though is what I'm wondering? Sure ly that's regressive and playing into the old dichotomy of man=X, woman=y.

Like the second wave of feminism which tries to advance the idea that woman are intrinsically more nurturing/earth mother types. It's all social conditioning I reckon,and the labels just distract from appreciating each trait in isolation for what it is.(ie caring, stubborn,alpha, shy, subservient, etc, etc).

I'm not great at explaining this, so apologies if I screw it up, but I'll try my best.

As part of evolution and reproduction, there are natural biological differences to the sexes.

Human personalities contain many traits, some are normally stronger in males and others in females, but we all have them to a degree.

These traits are often referred to as masculine and feminine energies. It isn't supposed to be a negative stereotype, but a way of describing the common natural personality differences between the sexes. Basically, just a categorisation to help with discussion.

For instance most women are naturally more nurturing than men, so that is a feminine trait. That doesn't mean a women can't lack the nurturing trait or that men can't have it, and there is absolutely nothing wrong if that is the case.

There is no negative or positive meaning in anyone having these, that negativity only comes from people looking at them and believing (incorrectly, in my opinion) that there is an issue with a women having lots of masculine traits (or vice versa)

Some people prefer to call these energies Ying and Yang, but to me that just makes it harder to understand what is being discussed."

Sorry for quoting the whole thread.

My opinion is that even though it might not be negative as you describe it, it IS outdated and very binary. Better to think of it as a pot of human traits, and assume individuals we have a mix of each of them that makes up the whole.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we forget that all we are is an animal species and like every other animal species in the world the male and female have different traits.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"I think we forget that all we are is an animal species and like every other animal species in the world the male and female have different traits. "

This is true. However what doesnt follow is that you can guess what they are. I suspect killing your offspring’s parent might be considered masculine. Expect both genders do it depending on the species. Holding the kids might be female. But males do it in very many species.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a bit about cars, can do basic DIY and love beer and football.

I also love baking cakes, putting zoflora in my steam mop and using pink stuff to clean my oven.

I think I have an equal measure lol

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick


"...

Sorry for quoting the whole thread.

My opinion is that even though it might not be negative as you describe it, it IS outdated and very binary. Better to think of it as a pot of human traits, and assume individuals we have a mix of each of them that makes up the whole.

V x "

Removed most of that as it was getting silly

I disagree that it is outdated though. Expecting all women to have only feminine traits and all men to have masculine traits is what is outdated. Anyone 'can' have any, and that is a great thing.

I agree that it is binary, but that's not always a bad thing especially when it's used for categorisation.

If you wanted to discuss the personality differences between a stereotypical man and a stereotypical woman how would you do it? In fact how would you ask the question the OP raised? It becomes really tricky if you aren't allowed to use any form of categoration.

Categoration and stereotypes are not in themselves bad. It's how they are used that can be.

Anyway, back to the original point, I think the OP should just be herself and embrace her energies and if others can't accept that, then they aren't worth her time.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I honestly don’t mind at all. I find its kind of like that wow moment and it quite refreshing.

When it does happen from a lady tell me those kind of traits something always comes in my head and says good for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we forget that all we are is an animal species and like every other animal species in the world the male and female have different traits.

This is true. However what doesnt follow is that you can guess what they are. I suspect killing your offspring’s parent might be considered masculine. Expect both genders do it depending on the species. Holding the kids might be female. But males do it in very many species.

V x

"

I agree with you, no particular species is right or wrong on any particular trait.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know a bit about cars, can do basic DIY and love beer and football.

I also love baking cakes, putting zoflora in my steam mop and using pink stuff to clean my oven.

I think I have an equal measure lol"

Pink Stuff is my biggest find of the year, it's brilliant at cleaning the Aga and log burners door glass, no scrubbing required at all.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

I work in a a world where many of them are stuck in the mid 20th century, that being bikers. It’s getting better but there’s a long way to go & many take umbrage when H knows more about their bikes than they do.

Personally if someone says “Why don’t you do it like this?” & it saves me time or money or was just something I didn’t know then I couldn’t give a rats wossname what gender the person was that told me. I’d just be grateful.

Being a male & chivalrous for me should still be allowed it’s really just manners but I’d expect a woman to hold a door for me too & wouldn’t feel my masculinity was being taken if they did. I’d just do what I always do, smile, say thank you & move on.

S

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

.

After being raised solely by my mammy, I feel her traits and mannerisms have rubbed off on me, as much as I don’t want them .

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I work in a a world where many of them are stuck in the mid 20th century, that being bikers. It’s getting better but there’s a long way to go & many take umbrage when H knows more about their bikes than they do.

Personally if someone says “Why don’t you do it like this?” & it saves me time or money or was just something I didn’t know then I couldn’t give a rats wossname what gender the person was that told me. I’d just be grateful.

Being a male & chivalrous for me should still be allowed it’s really just manners but I’d expect a woman to hold a door for me too & wouldn’t feel my masculinity was being taken if they did. I’d just do what I always do, smile, say thank you & move on.

S

"

Especially funny to me (personally) is people's responses to a woman in a wheelchair holding a door open. Believe it or not, it's not always easier for someone else to stand in the doorway holding it and it's not nice driving under an armpit

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"It’s interesting... my dishwasher broke down so I googled, thought it was the pump and decided to take the thing apart. Some friends commented how I didn’t ever need a man about the place. I was feeling dead chuffed with myself of course. Then I couldn’t fix it, the same friends suggested perhaps I did need that man after all.

Luckily a girlfriend is a plumber. She fixed it for me.

"

Fuckering it til it's properly broke is a male trait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No 100% masculine

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By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m pathetically girly but still more than able to do things however I like the naturally girly roll I take on and I’m happy to let men do things like maintenance for my car etc.... and I’ll bake for him in return

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By *cott73Man
over a year ago

brighton

Frankly, I could do with a good woman around the place to rewire the house and install a new bathroom.

And if she can change the oil on my motor whilst she's at it, all the better.

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By *ohnny2006Man
over a year ago

worcester


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

"

Biology is outdated?

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?"

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?"

It's cute you think that gender expression and biology are the same thing

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By *ohnny2006Man
over a year ago

worcester


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this? "

Because men are hard wired to objectify women based upon fertility hence the hair and nails and women are hard wired to objectify men based upon status and utility hence changing the fuse etc.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this?

Because men are hard wired to objectify women based upon fertility hence the hair and nails and women are hard wired to objectify men based upon status and utility hence changing the fuse etc."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite the reverse for me actually. If any female can't undertake basic tasks you could train a monkey to do, it's not impressive.

More so if a female pretends not to be able complete simple tasks. She would be either lazy or believe certain tasks are beneath her.

Or even worse still use the outdated " but I'm only a girl " crap that sexist males just love to hear.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Quite the reverse for me actually. If any female can't undertake basic tasks you could train a monkey to do, it's not impressive.

More so if a female pretends not to be able complete simple tasks. She would be either lazy or believe certain tasks are beneath her.

Or even worse still use the outdated " but I'm only a girl " crap that sexist males just love to hear."

Feigning ignorance or incompetence along gendered lines is definitely a turn off

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this?

Because men are hard wired to objectify women based upon fertility hence the hair and nails and women are hard wired to objectify men based upon status and utility hence changing the fuse etc."

Men are not hard wired to objectify women, societies gender expectations may make some men objectify women. Societies gender expectations may also make some women feel that they have to act or look a certain way in order to conform. This is not biology though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this?

Because men are hard wired to objectify women based upon fertility hence the hair and nails and women are hard wired to objectify men based upon status and utility hence changing the fuse etc."

How did men change fuses before electric was invented ?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"I definitely think moving forward when it comes to dating, I’m going to embrace my femininity more. Be very girly and let the man be the man. As soon as I’m in a relationship I’ll be washing my hands with swarfega and pissing standing up. "

Be yourself, otherwise it's all a game.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this?

Because men are hard wired to objectify women based upon fertility hence the hair and nails and women are hard wired to objectify men based upon status and utility hence changing the fuse etc.

How did men change fuses before electric was invented ?"

It was in our enfolded hardwiring dontcha know. All hardwired in ready for the day we needed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I definitely think moving forward when it comes to dating, I’m going to embrace my femininity more. Be very girly and let the man be the man. As soon as I’m in a relationship I’ll be washing my hands with swarfega and pissing standing up.

Be yourself, otherwise it's all a game."

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this?

Because men are hard wired to objectify women based upon fertility hence the hair and nails and women are hard wired to objectify men based upon status and utility hence changing the fuse etc.

How did men change fuses before electric was invented ?

It was in our enfolded hardwiring dontcha know. All hardwired in ready for the day we needed it."

Had a fuse pop on our old house & asked a mate to sort it as we knew why, we thought a welder might overload a circuit & it did.

His face when I gave him a screwdriver & the fuse wire on one of those cardboard things was a picture. He’d only every lived in houses with RCD’s & had no clue

S

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Quite the reverse for me actually. If any female can't undertake basic tasks you could train a monkey to do, it's not impressive.

More so if a female pretends not to be able complete simple tasks. She would be either lazy or believe certain tasks are beneath her.

Or even worse still use the outdated " but I'm only a girl " crap that sexist males just love to hear."

There are certain tasks that you could certainly train a monkey to do that I'm simply not strong enough or tall enough to do myself. It's not because I'm a woman specifically but in general men are taller and stronger than I am and I sometimes need to ask for a man's help to do something I know the theory of but just don't have the physical capability to carry out. Of course I'd have no problem asking a taller, stronger woman if one is available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this?

Because men are hard wired to objectify women based upon fertility hence the hair and nails and women are hard wired to objectify men based upon status and utility hence changing the fuse etc.

How did men change fuses before electric was invented ?

It was in our enfolded hardwiring dontcha know. All hardwired in ready for the day we needed it.

Had a fuse pop on our old house & asked a mate to sort it as we knew why, we thought a welder might overload a circuit & it did.

His face when I gave him a screwdriver & the fuse wire on one of those cardboard things was a picture. He’d only every lived in houses with RCD’s & had no clue

S"

Oh yeah it’s a while since I’ve done fuse wire. Remember my Dad teaching me at home. I can’t remember ever having to use that knowledge since though,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smiled at this thread, I have two daughters both of whom are very practical and will get stuck into any job, one far out strips her fella for ability on practical/diy things. One is definitely a 'tomboy' the other appears to be a delicate flower on the surface but is far from it. Not sure what a masculine trait is when I see these two beautiful girls being so capable. I am of course slightly prejudiced but very proud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After being raised solely by my mammy, I feel her traits and mannerisms have rubbed off on me, as much as I don’t want them . "

Like what?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My parents have deeply entrenched ideas on gender roles. So much so that when my brothers wife left him they genuinely believed social services would step in to help him look after his children so that he could continue to work as normal. They were also very angry with me when our daughter went to football lessons in the school holidays.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"My parents have deeply entrenched ideas on gender roles. So much so that when my brothers wife left him they genuinely believed social services would step in to help him look after his children so that he could continue to work as normal. They were also very angry with me when our daughter went to football lessons in the school holidays. "

I'm really sorry but this made me giggle

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

"
People seem to be offended so easy these days ...you cant doing right for doing wrong ..no need to explain/justify yourself ....but you do ..lol

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By *rian4uMan
over a year ago

London


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

"

You sound a great capable girl. Dont change a thing. I believe we all have a yin and yang balance to maintain. I notice i go from being masculine to feminine in thought and have related it to stress at work . The more dominant at work the more femme at home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Skills can be taught and learned so it doesn't really bother me if someone helps me with something I don't know whether they are a man or woman.

If I ever did have an issue with it, then it's on me to ensure I know how to do it because it's in my control instead of trying to enforce gender stereotypes

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

You can’t have a balance of both traits however you can relate to the opposite polarity. It is not off-putting if a woman is masculine however if that is her default behaviour then yes, but that does not mean you change who you are.

The scene you describe is perfectly ok, surely if you don’t know how to do something and someone else shows you how-to, it is just learning which can make for a great conversation starter or even relationship as long as you don’t throw it in his face.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"My parents have deeply entrenched ideas on gender roles. So much so that when my brothers wife left him they genuinely believed social services would step in to help him look after his children so that he could continue to work as normal. They were also very angry with me when our daughter went to football lessons in the school holidays.

I'm really sorry but this made me giggle "

they are very old and very set in their ways and my mother has been very sheltered. I had to explain that just because he was a man didn't entitle my brother to any more help than single mothers. There are so many entrenched ideas and prejudices tied up in that it was impossible for me to unpick them. The football thing really annoyed them, neither of them ever criticised our parenting except on that one occasion. Mum got really upset and asked me if I would send our son for netball lessons .

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Sounds like you've been messing with guys with fragile egos.

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool


"My parents have deeply entrenched ideas on gender roles. So much so that when my brothers wife left him they genuinely believed social services would step in to help him look after his children so that he could continue to work as normal. They were also very angry with me when our daughter went to football lessons in the school holidays.

I'm really sorry but this made me giggle

they are very old and very set in their ways and my mother has been very sheltered. I had to explain that just because he was a man didn't entitle my brother to any more help than single mothers. There are so many entrenched ideas and prejudices tied up in that it was impossible for me to unpick them. The football thing really annoyed them, neither of them ever criticised our parenting except on that one occasion. Mum got really upset and asked me if I would send our son for netball lessons . "
Times change ..girls boxing ..playing rugby ..boys playing netball .. it dont sit well with every body ..

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham


"Do you have a fair balance of both traits?

Do you think you possess more of one than the other?

Guys is it off putting if a woman has quite masculine energy?

Like I remember ages ago when I fancied the guy who worked in the gym I worked in, I bought him a brake light (was only 95p) cos one of his lights was out when I was behind him leaving work one day. Anyway he was like ah thanks then went out to put it on the car. He then comes in looking for a screw driver and asks if I can hold something. I go out and he’s unscrewing the whole of the light I was like no what you doing you only have to do this, and I showed him how to do it a more simple way. Now he was grateful and all but I may as well have given him his testicles in a little box with a bow on. I shouldn’t have done that.

Also the recent guy I had dealings with, his business was closed during 1st lockdown and I made a suggestion for how he could make money and he was like yeah I know I’m on it. Now that had fuck all to do with me and I genuinely was only trying to help but my friend was like yeah that’s emasculating the guy. I didn’t even think of how it would make him feel.

Is it cos I’ve been single so long that I’ve developed like this problem solving trait that’s more common with men.

Ladies do you find that you have quite masculine traits sometimes and do you think it’s hard to just try and be a girl sometimes?

"

I can't see how you giving advice to a bloke is emasculating him, after all it is only advice.

If someone doesn't have the knowledge to do something, you showing them how to do it correctly is helping regardless of the sex of the person.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"My parents have deeply entrenched ideas on gender roles. So much so that when my brothers wife left him they genuinely believed social services would step in to help him look after his children so that he could continue to work as normal. They were also very angry with me when our daughter went to football lessons in the school holidays.

I'm really sorry but this made me giggle

they are very old and very set in their ways and my mother has been very sheltered. I had to explain that just because he was a man didn't entitle my brother to any more help than single mothers. There are so many entrenched ideas and prejudices tied up in that it was impossible for me to unpick them. The football thing really annoyed them, neither of them ever criticised our parenting except on that one occasion. Mum got really upset and asked me if I would send our son for netball lessons . Times change ..girls boxing ..playing rugby ..boys playing netball .. it dont sit well with every body .."

No, it doesn't. I don't blame them for their opinions, they're not going to change now. My dad was born in the 1920s he's a product of his times

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By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?"

you obviously have difficulty reading what i said or comprehending its meaning.

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By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies


"gender roles are pretty outdated now, and tbh i am far more impressed by a girl/woman that can change a fuze/tyre or put up a shelf, than one with fancy nails botox or expensive hair do.

Biology is outdated?

How is having fancy nails or an expensive hair do vs changing a fuse anything to do with biology? What genes code for this? "

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By *erriAnneTV/TS
over a year ago

The shire

It depends on what I'm wearing a the time I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work in a totally masculine world, have exceedingly masculine hobbies and when it was tested even my brain is wired masculine hahahahahaha but always a lady never had a problem waiting to be asked for advice rather than just giving it ... otherwise can be seen to be a know all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I identify as gender nonconforming myself. It’s a term I’ve only recently started using but it feels good. I’m not into wearing lingerie, I work out at the gym to be strong, I work in a male dominated industry, I like to top in the bedroom, I like to pay on dates etc etc. But I also am completely comfortable being a woman and am straight, and I’m not a domme.

(I’m not saying any of the above are “manly”, they’re just how I express myself!)

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