FabSwingers.com forum: Letting go and forgiveness.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

This the next chapter in your book? I hope were in line for royalties

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter how shitty people are to us, its important to forgive for our own benefit not theirs. Holding on to grudges only hurts you more in the long run. Forgive but dont forget!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me guess, it’s a chapter of your book, are we going to get a writing credit ?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I prefer to let go than keep the anger and frustration inside, people that have upset me in the past I now regard with total indifference, why give any of them headspace or a single thought, let it all go, it’s amazing how freeing it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

Totally depends on the situation or circumstances...l dont think every situation can be all put into the one " forgive " basket..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think I can ever forgive ex wife still tries causing me grief

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgiveness needs to happen otherwise it will eat away at you on a continual basis for years.

Forgiveness is for your benefit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer to let go than keep the anger and frustration inside, people that have upset me in the past I now regard with total indifference, why give any of them headspace or a single thought, let it all go, it’s amazing how freeing it is

This, for sure. Such a release.

S x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I don't forgive unless I think it deserves forgiveness or I genuinely feel the wrongdoer has learnt from it. I accept that something has happened and that's that.

If it's something that I deem unforgivable that's cut me to the core then I'll cut the cord and wave farewell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just let go, I don’t feel the need to forgive, I just end up feeling indifferent to them, you don’t need to forgive someone, just have nothing to do with them and move on, you owe them nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe in the forgive and forget train of thought I'm afraid so can't really be of help.

Once someone makes it to the top step of the "cunt pile" that's where they stay.

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By *riendly older leggy wifeCouple
over a year ago

london

Revenge is sweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

Depending on the severity of things really but I find it very difficult to forgive and forget! Things can eat away at me for a long time

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I don't really forgive...I tend to just cut people out of my life and draw a line under whatever has happened.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I don't forgive really, I know I won't forgive my dad for all the crap he's done. But I have moved on from it, he's not going to apologise for his shitty behaviour so there is no point holding on to that thought. And that in itself is liberating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bitterness is bad energy and it ends up just destroying you. Forgiveness is genuinely wanting the best for someone because it means they hold no power over you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgiveness and gratitude are two of the most healthy actions we can take. Forgiveness releases the chemicals cortisol and norepinephrine, associated with holding anger and as we forgive replaces it with oxytocin that causes us to trust and love again. We heal ourselves and the way we relate to others the more we can forgive. Gratitude builds up our positive energy through the release of dopamine and serotonin increasing how good we feel.

Practising forgiveness and gratitude are very powerful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you spill my pint, acknowledge it and give some kind of apology then I forgive you immediately, I’d even thank you if you then replace it with another.

Any other course of action made by you in that scenario will result in me not forgiving you quite openly.

Forgiveness is reserved for those who seek it and I apply that to all aspects of my life.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Bitterness is bad energy and it ends up just destroying you. Forgiveness is genuinely wanting the best for someone because it means they hold no power over you. "

I can still want the best for someone but not be able to forgive their actions towards me.

I want the best for my last ex, but wouldn't have him back in my life. I got too burned. I genuinely want him to sort his shit out and have a happy ever after.

He doesn't hold power over me, however I got taught some valuable lessons, and ones that I'd be an absolute idiot to forget.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Sometimes it’s not forgiveness, but you don’t give that person any more thought. There’s no point being bitter as that just eats you up.

Sometimes you can’t change what someone has done to you but you can change how you view it going forward.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Revenge is sweet"

Indifference is sweeter, plotting and scheming keep that person alive in your thoughts, why even bother continuing riding that drama train, get off at the next stop and give yourself a break

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There’s 3 people in my life that I’ll never forgive but they don’t take up any space in my head, I don’t wish them any ill will, I don’t think about them at all.

In cases of severe betrayal, hurt/abuse, tragedy or trauma, you can’t expect people to be able to forgive that and that’s where letting go comes into play. Not holding on to whatever has happened.

“Carrying hate for someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Does anyone know who said that quote and if it’s copywritten!?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Revenge is sweet

Indifference is sweeter, plotting and scheming keep that person alive in your thoughts, why even bother continuing riding that drama train, get off at the next stop and give yourself a break

Exactly, I love indifference.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Revenge is sweet

Indifference is sweeter, plotting and scheming keep that person alive in your thoughts, why even bother continuing riding that drama train, get off at the next stop and give yourself a break

Exactly, I love indifference."

It stops up going batshit crazy

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

Leave it to fate to do her work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Revenge is sweet

Indifference is sweeter, plotting and scheming keep that person alive in your thoughts, why even bother continuing riding that drama train, get off at the next stop and give yourself a break

Exactly, I love indifference.

It stops up going batshit crazy

It also annoys the person, the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

Because resentment and bitterness will only do the greatest damage to those that carry them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it much easier just to burn the bridge and carry on happier with my life.

If someone intentionally fucks me over, I have zero desire to share anymore of my life and also don't forgive.

I used to, but it was just a 1 way track to repeat events and being shit on. This way works mucb better.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Revenge is sweet

Indifference is sweeter, plotting and scheming keep that person alive in your thoughts, why even bother continuing riding that drama train, get off at the next stop and give yourself a break

Exactly, I love indifference.

It stops up going batshit crazy

It also annoys the person, the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference."

Yep, show them you can still live even though they have tried you bring you down, rise up and get on with your life, that hate shit just keeps you down and kills your soul

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"There’s 3 people in my life that I’ll never forgive but they don’t take up any space in my head, I don’t wish them any ill will, I don’t think about them at all.

“Carrying hate for someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Does anyone know who said that quote and if it’s copywritten!?)

Think it's attributed to Budda

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"There’s 3 people in my life that I’ll never forgive but they don’t take up any space in my head, I don’t wish them any ill will, I don’t think about them at all.

“Carrying hate for someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Does anyone know who said that quote and if it’s copywritten!?)

Think it's attributed to Budda "

He doesn’t deal with copywrites

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"There’s 3 people in my life that I’ll never forgive but they don’t take up any space in my head, I don’t wish them any ill will, I don’t think about them at all.

“Carrying hate for someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Does anyone know who said that quote and if it’s copywritten!?)

Think it's attributed to Budda

He doesn’t deal with copywrites

Can imagine if he did he be loaded

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By *ooby birdWoman
over a year ago

North West

Block and move on works in real life too

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I forgive because it takes away any power that person has to hurt me further. I hold the power and I choose to say I forgive you and walk away, that cleanses me of any bitterness, ill feelings or toxicity and cutting them out of my life is very very easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't let go, can't forgive, can't forget. I'm destroyed and ripped apart. My soul is crushed. It eats me up every day and I can't see any end to that. It won't kill me though.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

You can let go but not forgive.

It's important because if you spend years being angry over it they've won twice

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

Forgiveness is for the self not for the other.

When someone says I forgave them so I could move on....... I feel that they have got things round the wrong way.

No one asks for forgiveness. They've gone. Departed. Got over it.

More often than odd... being poorly treated is a misconception. A story woven by those who need an alternative to accepting that others don't think the same things as them or feel the same way they do.

Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves for being so stupid to ourselves.

The other person is just fine and dandy.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

B.T.W........ Those who say things like ' I forgive you' when it's not been sought are a tad delusional. It's as if they are so narcisstic they see themselves as Godlike and can absolve the other.

If forgiveness isn't asked for don't give it. The other person doesn't see themselves as in the wrong or harmed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because all the energy that goes into hate and anger is negative... there is enough negativity in the world with it so I believe in positive energy and thought brings positive results.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do people practice letting go?

Real logical reasons how to let things go?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"B.T.W........ Those who say things like ' I forgive you' when it's not been sought are a tad delusional. It's as if they are so narcisstic they see themselves as Godlike and can absolve the other.

If forgiveness isn't asked for don't give it. The other person doesn't see themselves as in the wrong or harmed. "

Maybe forgiveness is the wrong word to go with it then, letting go and acceptance, is that more beneficial to people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do people practice letting go?

Real logical reasons how to let things go?

Practice, it just comes naturally, it comes with I don’t want to waste anymore energy and time on this person, I’m out.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Letting go is crucial.

Helping the self is what's needed not focussing on the other by saying something lame like ...... but I forgive them. Especially if they did treat someone badly. Why forgive ?

Just let go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres been 1 major event happened to us that I will NEVER forget, nor will I EVER, EVER forgive as it involved many people & hurt all my family. We don't dwell on it but it will always be there. Some things just can't be forgiven

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"How do people practice letting go?

Real logical reasons how to let things go?

Practice, it just comes naturally, it comes with I don’t want to waste anymore energy and time on this person, I’m out."

I disagree to an extent.

There has to be a grieving period.

Unfortunately for some, they have their grieving period during the relationship which is why they suffer so much.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"How do people practice letting go?

Real logical reasons how to let things go?

Practice, it just comes naturally, it comes with I don’t want to waste anymore energy and time on this person, I’m out.

I disagree to an extent.

There has to be a grieving period.

Unfortunately for some, they have their grieving period during the relationship which is why they suffer so much."

I hear this loud and clear

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Letting go is crucial.

Helping the self is what's needed not focussing on the other by saying something lame like ...... but I forgive them. Especially if they did treat someone badly. Why forgive ?

Just let go. "

Also accepting. Accepting that nobody owes anyone anything. It’s hard to put things to bed when things feel unresolved.

Everyone knows they need to let things go but how would you explain putting it into practice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Theres been 1 major event happened to us that I will NEVER forget, nor will I EVER, EVER forgive as it involved many people & hurt all my family. We don't dwell on it but it will always be there. Some things just can't be forgiven"

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Letting go is an up and down path at first. I got a lot from Echart Tolle’s premise of practicing to empty the mind then inviting in issues one at a time only to dismiss them with insight (very condensed version). Hard to do and easy to forget how to do it.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"B.T.W........ Those who say things like ' I forgive you' when it's not been sought are a tad delusional. It's as if they are so narcisstic they see themselves as Godlike and can absolve the other.

If forgiveness isn't asked for don't give it. The other person doesn't see themselves as in the wrong or harmed. "

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I don’t tend to forgive, the only occasion I can recall when someone asked to be forgiven I pointed them in the direction of the local vicar.

I also don’t carry it with me, just move on.

I’m a big believer in ‘what goes around, comes around’. That person will get their comeuppance without me having to expend energy on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best not to dwell on it, forgive ? I don’t know - forget ? Just try to !

To bear a grudge or harbour Ill feelings only hurts ones self, better to let it go, water under the bridge. Hope you find a way or some one to help you past the bad experience.

Best wishes X

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

I always forgive and I love humour and never hold grudges x

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I tend to just move on. Not really forgiving or forgetting, just getting up, dusting myself off and getting on with things.

Dwelling on things just holds you back. Give yourself time to grump over stuff, have a moody, have a cry, whatever you need to give yourself closure. And then just put it down to experience and move on.

Far more freeing.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

I never forget or forgive,I let it fester inside me and eat me up!!

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

"Bitterness is bad energy and it ends up just destroying you. Forgiveness is genuinely wanting the best for someone because it means they hold no power over you. "

Spot on, it's all down to our mental approach how we forgive individuals. I have been there and done the bitterness approach and it doesn't work. Im glad im at a stage to forgive people, as i don't want to experience the bitterness and the individuals don't take my mind space that creates negativity.

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By *mooth Operator 07Man
over a year ago

in the deep mist of the valleys

"Forgiveness and gratitude are two of the most healthy actions we can take. Forgiveness releases the chemicals cortisol and norepinephrine, associated with holding anger and as we forgive replaces it with oxytocin that causes us to trust and love again. We heal ourselves and the way we relate to others the more we can forgive. Gratitude builds up our positive energy through the release of dopamine and serotonin increasing how good we feel.

Practising forgiveness and gratitude are very powerful.

First thing i had to learn was gratitude, it was one the best lesson i appreciated to help me to move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Should I title the chapter Acceptance and letting go rather than letting go and forgiveness?

I can touch upon the need to forgive yourself when you feel foolish after an event or for putting up with something you shouldn’t. But some things like severe betrayal, abuse etc can’t be forgiven.

So does acceptance and letting go have a better ring to it than letting go and forgiveness?

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

"Should I title the chapter Acceptance and letting go rather than letting go and forgiveness?

So does acceptance and letting go have a better ring to it than letting go and forgiveness? "

I prefer the acceptance and letting go

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

Being able to forgive is not just about the other person but about me letting go. It uses precious energy to hold to a grudge and anger causes excess amounts of stress hormones cortysol etc at physical level, so ultimatley I am punishing myself if I hold on to anger.

I can usually let go after a period of reflection because in addition to the initial hurt/ anger they caused me, they would continue to cause damage.

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

You never know what situation something good for yourself is going to come from. Wether it be emotional/physical or when you will need a favour in the future. Once people forgive, I feel like they forget very quickly, or when they look back at the betrayal they feel like it’s not as big as they once thought it was. When you hold on to anger it always feels like a massive issue and you would be a mug to yourself to let it go.

Me, on the other hand. I just struggle to remain annoyed at people and keep the people that should be out my life, out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me forgiveness is having enough distance from the pain, to be able to look at things through the eyes of the perps. Taking onboard their situation and without justifying their actions: softly understanding.

I have forgiven a lot, sometimes it turns to pity, but mostly a release for myself.

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

I can usually let go after a period of reflection because in addition to the initial hurt/ anger they caused me, they would continue to cause damage. "

Basically what I was trying to say. But yours sounds better, you used nice words

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

I can usually let go after a period of reflection because in addition to the initial hurt/ anger they caused me, they would continue to cause damage.

Basically what I was trying to say. But yours sounds better, you used nice words

ha"
Aw, thanks... in fairness, I just got home after a very long day and I confess I did not read the thread but liked the sound of it. And... in any case the main thing is we agree on something, eh? xx

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I knew it - it HAD to be a Scot - I love you guys... and wish I was 30 years younger once more

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By *.luke7Man
over a year ago

"I knew it - it HAD to be a Scot - I love you guys... and wish I was 30 years younger once more

xx"

I know, we tend to be pretty awesome. Lol.

The usual saying from you fab lot... Age is but a number you feel. You don’t need to be younger you just need to feel younger.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I knew it - it HAD to be a Scot - I love you guys... and wish I was 30 years younger once more

I know, we tend to be pretty awesome. Lol.

The usual saying from you fab lot... Age is but a number you feel. You don’t need to be younger you just need to feel younger.

"
In my head I am 17!!!

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Impossible to generalise, what one person may forgive, another won't

I have forgiven things I thought initially impossible to, but I have also cut ties with others that maybe another person could forgive/accept

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first time they trick you is their fault the second time is yours.

Forgive because its healthy for yourself not because they deserve it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgive then move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

Letting go helps us move on from the injustices.

I don't think we need to forgive them but we do need to move forward.

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Clean sheet of paper, pen, write all the things bothering you down. Then rip it up, burn it, shred it.

Repeat it until you find peace.

What do you do AnnieWilkes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The first time they trick you is their fault the second time is yours.

Forgive because its healthy for yourself not because they deserve it.

No second chances?

fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

I can usually let go after a period of reflection because in addition to the initial hurt/ anger they caused me, they would continue to cause damage. "

I wish I could forgive like you but I hold grudges till eternity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something I recently done OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really forgive...I tend to just cut people out of my life and draw a line under whatever has happened. "

Exactly this! I really don't have the energy for drama. My mental wellbeing is far more important. Anger and pain do help us to grow as people but only to a certain extent, if you don't rid yourself of the negative energy it produces it will eat you up.

I'll give anyone a second chance but if you hurt me or mess me about again I'm done. If I meant so little to someone that they are able to hurt me then I obviously didn't mean that much to them.

Just walk away.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

I can usually let go after a period of reflection because in addition to the initial hurt/ anger they caused me, they would continue to cause damage.

I wish I could forgive like you but I hold grudges till eternity."
It is not as easy as I made it sound perhaps. And it does take time, reflection and a conscious decision of what matters to you more... holding on to that anger or using the limited time we have for better purposes... (being facetious, if I may...like arranging a meet?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't let go, can't forgive, can't forget. I'm destroyed and ripped apart. My soul is crushed. It eats me up every day and I can't see any end to that. It won't kill me though."

This is exactly me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really forgive...I tend to just cut people out of my life and draw a line under whatever has happened.

I'll give anyone a second chance but if you hurt me or mess me about again I'm done. If I meant so little to someone that they are able to hurt me then I obviously didn't mean that much to them.

Just walk away. "

This is what I do. Got to get rid of the toxic people.

I wish I could give second chances but I got a one strike you're out rule.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What does this mean to you?

Why is it important to forgive those that have been shitty to us and how important is the ability to let things go?

How do you let things go and why is it important that you’re able to do it?

Basically just discuss all things related to being able to forgive and let shit go

please.

I can usually let go after a period of reflection because in addition to the initial hurt/ anger they caused me, they would continue to cause damage.

I wish I could forgive like you but I hold grudges till eternity.It is not as easy as I made it sound perhaps. And it does take time, reflection and a conscious decision of what matters to you more... holding on to that anger or using the limited time we have for better purposes... (being facetious, if I may...like arranging a meet?)

This thread fired me up.

I wish I was more forgiving or facetious. Teach me your ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The first time they trick you is their fault the second time is yours.

Forgive because its healthy for yourself not because they deserve it.

No second chances?

fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"

Every day is a second chance just make sure to use it wisely with someone who is worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't let go, can't forgive, can't forget. I'm destroyed and ripped apart. My soul is crushed. It eats me up every day and I can't see any end to that. It won't kill me though.

This is exactly me too."

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Whoever feels they cannnot let go... maybe now is not the right time to forgive, by forcing it for some reason. In orde tot forgive, I think we need to be ready to do so - it is not a rational thing for sure.

Maybe we need to allow ourselves time to heal, to think, to evaluate... but not force the issue.

I am a true believer that healing will follow... in due course

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't hold grudges, I'm not bitter and I have let go of all sorts of things but there are some things I won't forgive. I don't need to or want to really

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

I am very good at closing doors. Matters are rarely thought of again. I don't dwell. I rarely forgive if hurt or betrayed, but I can just close the door in my mind, break of all contact, and just get on with my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am pretty tolerant so can forgive many things and have done.

I've given too many chances or I've perpetuated a cycle of pain or I take responsibility for the way others have behaved towards me.

I don't forget though. I can and have cut people out of my life completely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The first time they trick you is their fault the second time is yours.

Forgive because its healthy for yourself not because they deserve it.

No second chances?

fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

Every day is a second chance just make sure to use it wisely with someone who is worth it. "

I feel like a fool giving second chances. Maybe its pride and ego.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whoever feels they cannnot let go... maybe now is not the right time to forgive, by forcing it for some reason. In orde tot forgive, I think we need to be ready to do so - it is not a rational thing for sure.

Maybe we need to allow ourselves time to heal, to think, to evaluate... but not force the issue.

I am a true believer that healing will follow... in due course"

Agreed.

Healing takes time. And can't be forced.

I'm good at hastily moving on and not forviving. Maybe I need patience but I don't think you can teach that to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am very good at closing doors. Matters are rarely thought of again. I don't dwell. I rarely forgive if hurt or betrayed, but I can just close the door in my mind, break of all contact, and just get on with my life."

I like this ^^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont forget. Ss a victim. now

Survivor of da dv..nearly very son be thriever

Im awaiting karma..then i can step forward instead of onhold.

I will be able to breathe my own breathe n walk with my own shoes.

Priceless.

Its not about ignoring the past its about using it to make a stronger tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am pretty tolerant so can forgive many things and have done.

I've given too many chances or I've perpetuated a cycle of pain or I take responsibility for the way others have behaved towards me.

I don't forget though. I can and have cut people out of my life completely."

I agree with this. Cut them out and surround yourself with good people

You get fed up of giving chances and getting taken advantage of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont forget. Ss a victim. now

Survivor of da dv..nearly very son be thriever

Im awaiting karma..then i can step forward instead of onhold.

I will be able to breathe my own breathe n walk with my own shoes.

Priceless.

Its not about ignoring the past its about using it to make a stronger tomorrow "

Good advice

Learn from the mistakes and be a stronger wiser person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But can you keep repeating forgiveness? As it becomes untrustworthy and you start disliking the person. Saying for a friend of course haha!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But can you keep repeating forgiveness? As it becomes untrustworthy and you start disliking the person. Saying for a friend of course haha!! "

Exactly

Where's the line between being hasty and a fool?

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I am pretty tolerant so can forgive many things and have done.

I've given too many chances or I've perpetuated a cycle of pain or I take responsibility for the way others have behaved towards me.

I don't forget though. I can and have cut people out of my life completely.

I agree with this. Cut them out and surround yourself with good people

You get fed up of giving chances and getting taken advantage of."

I am a very giving person. Giving makes me who I am, but I am not a fool. If there is something or a bad/damaged relationship I can't change, just walk away, or you just go round in damaging circles. Move on, be happy, make someone else happy in your own way. Happiness breeds happiness.

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