FabSwingers.com forum: On fab meets...

By *mileTogether69 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

If arranged to meet via fabswingers , would you get frustrated if other persons treated it as a vanilla date? Would you prefer to dispense with the socially accepted pleasantries and just get to the good stuff....

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By *akbearMan
over a year ago

Newbury

I would always expect a social before anything else.

Make sure the connection is there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. Because the first meet would always be a social meet anyway.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

First meet (at minimum) is a vanilla social meet for me.

If the person and I can't chat everyday stuffs we won't be doing anything else

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Mind games conjure up something sinister. I always have a social first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

I think it's important to have a normal meet, just so u know a connection is there at the very least

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me get this straight, you think because you’re meeting someone off fab you don’t need to get a feel of the person first, establish attraction and chemistry and just agree to meet and instantly get down to fucking?

ha prepare to be disappointed then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely manners and respect still need to be observed?

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

I would always want to meet socially first before anyone goes delving in my undercrackers.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

No, I expect a first meet to be a social with no expectations of anything else. I’ve done the whole ‘straight to it’ a couple times and regretted it both times. Getting to know someone is part of the fun.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

Go for an export

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

Go for an export"

Excort lol

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

This doesn't seem to have any relationship to swinging you can skip first names on other regular hookup apps just as easily.

But we'll have a nice chat first, thank you very much.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

Go for an export

Excort lol"

Go on, third times the charm!

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

The 'good stuff' is never as good without the build-up, teasing and mental side that comes with a social first.

Plus, if there is a connection, the social is never boring, and not that vanilla as you exchange stories of past experiences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social first to see if there’s any chemistry, then a meet depending on the outcome.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Even in a club I’d expect at least to have a chat before heading off to a room together. Admittedly not in all cases

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

Go for an export

Excort lol"

Or an escort?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

I understand what you’re saying.....

I’ll translate it for everyone else......

If he met a woman on a dating site , he is expecting to meet her for a vanilla date with no expectations of sex......

When he is meeting a woman from Fab he is expecting to meet her for a date/social with the expectations of having sex on that date... ......

He believes these women are playing mind games because they are using a sex/swingers site for purely vanilla dates......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on what you're looking for.

There have been times when fuck and go is what I wanted.

It's not what I want all the time.

Fuck and go has made me feel like I might as well charge for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always like to meet for a social first and feel a bit of a connection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The opposite of sex/sexual is not vanilla. Vanilla is a descriptor for the type of sex/ual encounter.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

"When he is meeting a woman from Fab he is expecting to meet her for a date/social with the expectations of having sex on that date... ......

He believes these women are playing mind games because they are using a sex/swingers site for purely vanilla dates......"

This is one of the biggest misunderstanding I think some new people face.

Random no chat sex meets are much more common between men.

In my personal experience swinging is very different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how comfortable I am and how much I've chatted with the person. I usually like to chat and chill a little first, but I normally want to be having sex after an hour or two xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I set out my expectations in advance. Those include what many would consider "vanilla date" stuff, getting to know the person a bit etc.

You might call it mind games, I call it part of my checks to see if I'm safe in private with that person.

Plus I like to like the people I have sex with. Shocking really.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I would be frustrated if the person I'm meeting assumed it would be anything other than a vanilla kind of meet for the first time. Just because a meet is arranged through a swingers site doesn't mean that I have sex at the forefront of my mind

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Got to be a social first

If you don't get on , then how are you gonna get it on ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had socials last 2hrs before retiring to the particular lady's hotel room for naughties before now. Usually clicked over a glass of wine and decent flirty conversation. Much better scenario than just turning up to fuck, which have also done quite a few times in my meeting days, but felt a bit cold in honesty.

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By *mileTogether69 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"The 'good stuff' is never as good without the build-up, teasing and mental side that comes with a social first.

Plus, if there is a connection, the social is never boring, and not that vanilla as you exchange stories of past experiences

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By *mileTogether69 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Even in a club I’d expect at least to have a chat before heading off to a room together. Admittedly not in all cases

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By *mileTogether69 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Had socials last 2hrs before retiring to the particular lady's hotel room for naughties before now. Usually clicked over a glass of wine and decent flirty conversation. Much better scenario than just turning up to fuck, which have also done quite a few times in my meeting days, but felt a bit cold in honesty. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah.

I don’t do fuck and go meets.

I’m only interested in those who want to get to know me a bit first and then flirt each other into a fucking frenzy.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

When I was a single guy I loved to get to know someone first. So exchanging messages and then arranging to meet for lunch before play so you have that time to see each other, chat, flirt, build up the anticipation.

Meeting other couples now would be exactly the same as would a single female, to make her feel comfortable.

A single guy in a MMF, maybe not so much interaction.

You have to judge the situation of be aware of what others want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The stronger the connection the better "the good stuff" is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was a single guy I loved to get to know someone first. So exchanging messages and then arranging to meet for lunch before play so you have that time to see each other, chat, flirt, build up the anticipation.

Meeting other couples now would be exactly the same as would a single female, to make her feel comfortable.

A single guy in a MMF, maybe not so much interaction.

You have to judge the situation of be aware of what others want to.

It’s obviously your personal approach and I’m not saying it’s wrong but why wouldn’t you guys want to do the same approach with a man?

By mentioning it I presume that you do like to meet single men for mfm experiences and wondered why that should differ from the single fem and couple approaches.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

I understand what you’re saying.....

I’ll translate it for everyone else......

If he met a woman on a dating site , he is expecting to meet her for a vanilla date with no expectations of sex......

When he is meeting a woman from Fab he is expecting to meet her for a date/social with the expectations of having sex on that date... ......

He believes these women are playing mind games because they are using a sex/swingers site for purely vanilla dates......"

Your explanation makes no sense when most people have a social first and it's purely a social. Even if a play meet is arranged, people can change their mind at any time. There should never be an expectation to have sex just because it's a swinging site or that a play meet was arranged or anything else.

I disagree that anyone is playing mind games by wanting a social first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eh? Getting to know someone isn’t mind games

I don’t think you get that this site isn’t instashag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you get frustrated if other persons treated it as a vanilla date?"

Absolutely not ... would ring alarm bells to meet anyone with that sense of entitlement

"Would you prefer to dispense with the socially accepted pleasantries and just get to the good stuff"

Sometimes if both (all) parties are on the same page.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Meeting other couples now would be exactly the same as would a single female, to make her feel comfortable.

A single guy in a MMF, maybe not so much interaction.

You have to judge the situation of be aware of what others want to.

It’s obviously your personal approach and I’m not saying it’s wrong but why wouldn’t you guys want to do the same approach with a man?

By mentioning it I presume that you do like to meet single men for mfm experiences and wondered why that should differ from the single fem and couple approaches."

It depends on the situation...some of our play with another guy has been scenario based so there’s little interaction required. The other guy knows what’s he’s there for.

If it’s a case of us wanting to get to know them then yes, the social, meet before will happen to see how we all get on.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I haven't used fab for meets, but on the occasions that I have met people through other means it has always been social first. And it is always understood that sex might not follow.

Sometimes the social part is quite short, if we click immediately. But it is always there.

There are sometimes exceptions in the club, but even then there has usually been an opportunity to observe each other first.

For me, the social connection is what makes it swinging. I'm much more interested in sex with people that I know and like.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I don't consider a coffee social to see if there is any chemistry "a vanilla date".

I do consider it due diligence.

I don't anticipate the other person being an axe murderer but if I'm considering putting myself in a vulnerable, possibly naked, situation I sure as hell want to check them out first.

It's not about "mind games", its about physical safety.

I think most people would understand and appreciate that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are disappointed op about your meets on here, I think you are a little confused about the nature of swinging.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I'll add: some people do use fab for quick anonymous no-strings sex, and there's nothing wrong with that. They might even be the majority overall (I'd expect very few of them to be active in the forum, so I won't make any assumptions based on what I see here).

It's just that there are other ways to go about things, which I and apparently many others in this thread prefer. There's nothing 'mind-game'y about it. It's just our normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

I understand what you’re saying.....

I’ll translate it for everyone else......

If he met a woman on a dating site , he is expecting to meet her for a vanilla date with no expectations of sex......

When he is meeting a woman from Fab he is expecting to meet her for a date/social with the expectations of having sex on that date... ......

He believes these women are playing mind games because they are using a sex/swingers site for purely vanilla dates......

I disagree that anyone is playing mind games by wanting a social first.

Don’t kill the messenger....

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Yeah man, I'd be savage if they wanted to do talking and shit like that.

My poontang is there for the using and abusing. Nothing else matters other than getting my hole filled coz there's nothing to me apart from my cock hungry throbbing pussy.

Oh no wait, that's in the man dream thing.

You see, for the creation of desire, my head needs getting into. If I wanted no more than a pounding I'd do it myself with a dildo, at least then I'm hitting the right fucking spot for me.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I do need to clarify tho, are you comparing getting to know someone with playing mind games?

Getting to know someone is kinda the basics. How would you know what they do and don't like if you don't get to know them to some degree? How do you expect to gauge if someone is a half decent human unless you get to know them somewhat, or does that not matter to you as long as they're legs are open?

Mind games is manipulation. Getting to know someone as a human, as a person, well that's just basic common decency and dare I say it, taking your own safety with more than a pinch of salt or lust.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Hi,

Unlike, vanilla meets or dating where there normally a lot of getting to know going on. I call it " mind games"

I understand what you’re saying.....

I’ll translate it for everyone else......

If he met a woman on a dating site , he is expecting to meet her for a vanilla date with no expectations of sex......

When he is meeting a woman from Fab he is expecting to meet her for a date/social with the expectations of having sex on that date... ......

He believes these women are playing mind games because they are using a sex/swingers site for purely vanilla dates......"

Still shouldn’t be any expectations from having a social here that sex will follow, that is the idea of the social the final part to see if a connection in person

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I set out my expectations in advance. Those include what many would consider "vanilla date" stuff, getting to know the person a bit etc.

You might call it mind games, I call it part of my checks to see if I'm safe in private with that person.

Plus I like to like the people I have sex with. Shocking really."

I think your first point here is the biggest thing - being clear about expectations.

If I've offered a zipless fuck, no preamble just push my pants down and have at it, but then I'm trying to turn it into a date and introduce the guy to my parents then I'd agree there is a bit of game playing there.

As most people have already said, I like a social first but I'm very clear about that, it shouldn't come as a surprise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends, we all use the site in our own way, just be clear that is what you want.

I have had just sex meets, but also dated, depends what I am looking for at the time.

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By *rett1111Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Depends on how comfortable I am and how much I've chatted with the person. I usually like to chat and chill a little first, but I normally want to be having sex after an hour or two xx"

Fancy a chat Jessica?—

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always do a no-expectations social first. For safety, if nothing else.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Not in the slightest bit frustrated - in fact, outside of a club environment (and haven't been to one of them in over two years) I'd be more frustrated by there not being a social element to any meet regardless of whether it was the first time I'd met someone or the umpteenth - I enjoy spending time with someone I am going to have sex with, building anticipation and excitement through the course of that social time, never quite knowing when the moment will arrive, or indeed if it will arrive, where you retire somewhere private to get more intimate.

Even in clubs most people I've been intimate with I've spent time with in the social areas before moving on.

It is all however about expectations being set both ways before any meet and those expectations being respected.

And all of that is valid whether it be via Fab or anywhere that you might meet others and end up in a sexual situation at some point.

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By *ilmissplumpyWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"Nope. Because the first meet would always be a social meet anyway.

Agreed, i'd never do a meet for sex unless i'd met previously (maybe a party or club) & the connection was there. Personality is a big turn on for me, you can't see personality in a dick pic or a few typed messages....

LMP

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