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Smacking children

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The Scots have banned parents smacking their children. Wales following and sure for the English to follow also.

I suppose we will find out what the data looks like in about 15-20 years if it has any affect on the rest of us...

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By *estless nativeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

You could look for data from the other 57 nations who already ban it.

Sweden being first back in the 70's

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

There's a difference between a smack & child abuse. The amount of kids that say "you can't hit me I will call the police/childline" is rising as are the number of kids out causing trouble because they aren't disciplined.

Not saying a smack is suitable discipline mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a difference between a smack & child abuse. The amount of kids that say "you can't hit me I will call the police/childline" is rising as are the number of kids out causing trouble because they aren't disciplined.

Not saying a smack is suitable discipline mind "

That is an issue with parenting, not with smacking. If a child has no boundaries set at home and no consequences for overstepping those boundaries they will soon find that for the majority of behaviors there are no consequences elsewhere either.

On the other hand if they have parents who have instilled respect and who will punish children (and I don't mean by hitting them) then those children won't be saying to police/teachers/social workers "you can't touch me" because they know that all these people have to do is talk to their parents.

The problems with child behaviour have never been about smacking or not, they are about being taught respect and this is the job of parents not statutory care providers. Given this is the case the simple question is "do you need to use smacking to teach respect?" I believe the answer is demonstrably "no" - this is despite belonging to the "I was caned as a child and it didn't do me any harm" school of thought. While it didn't harm me I know this isn't the case for all.

Mr

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

We'd be better off with want to be parents having to study for 3 years to get a parenting degree before they get a key to unlock both partners chastity belts

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By *ackandsashaCouple
over a year ago

West Dublin

We decided very early on not to hit our kids and are very proud to have raised ( still raising ) 3 wonderful, obviously imperfect, kids.

If you teach kids to do what you want by smacking them, however hard or not hard, bear in mind , one day when youre older, they will be stronger than you. And maybe they will get their own way by smacking you.

We found by teaching kids that there are consequences to bad behaviour such as no treats, no electronic toys etc, results worked for us.

But the number one thing we learned or observed was, if you threaten consequences and don't follow through, your in trouble.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok "

Well I suppose some might differtiate between hitting and a tap on the back of a hand if a child runs out in front of a car... Who knows ?

Not me..

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Two lads never been hit, both autistic so can be challenging at times. I don’t see younger people any worse than I was at their age and I was hit, quite regularly.

What I want to know from anyone pro hitting, what do you do when it no longer works ? Punch them, kick them out of the house ? What do you do if they start hitting other Children?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

Well I suppose some might differtiate between hitting and a tap on the back of a hand if a child runs out in front of a car... Who knows ?

Not me.. "

You mean you can differentiate surely

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By *allBristolManMan
over a year ago

nowhere

Wish it was banned in england when I was a kid, maybe I'd have fewer issues today

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

Well I suppose some might differtiate between hitting and a tap on the back of a hand if a child runs out in front of a car... Who knows ?

Not me.. "

Why weren’t you holding that child’s hand, if they’re so young they still run around unaware of the danger ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think it is fine if it's appropriate for the age and incident

Something when some parents have had enough that day a smack might be easily dished or harder because they are pissed off. That when it starts getting a bit blurred.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/11/20 18:07:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

problem is because you cant discipline kids they take abusive behaviours into adult life as they think they will be completely untouched.

i see kids now shouting, swearing, telling mum shes a fat cunt etc with no respect for other peoples property.

animal parents in the wild discipline their kids with pain and sadly human beings are not different.

if they know something is going to hurt they wont do it.

and if they do, then they are stupid and maybe shouldnt of been born in the first place.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Think it is fine if it's appropriate for the age and incident

Something when some parents have had enough that day a smack might be easily dished or harder because they are pissed off. That when it starts getting a bit blurred. "

What age ? What incident ?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

No need for physical punishment! X

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I wonder if we should look at the animal world, elephants, lions and monkeys.. what do they do ?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I lived in fear of my mum.

The older I got the more my "fuck you bitch" attitude developed and I wanted her to hit me so I could knock her the fuck out. I didn't respect her, I resented her. I still do to some degree.

I never wanted my son to feel that way about me and my parenting wasn't the best, I made mistakes, but we are extremely close and he can come to me about anything.

I took the "removal of privileges" stance and it worked pretty well.

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By *allBristolManMan
over a year ago

nowhere


"I lived in fear of my mum.

The older I got the more my "fuck you bitch" attitude developed and I wanted her to hit me so I could knock her the fuck out. I didn't respect her, I resented her. I still do to some degree.

I never wanted my son to feel that way about me and my parenting wasn't the best, I made mistakes, but we are extremely close and he can come to me about anything.

I took the "removal of privileges" stance and it worked pretty well.

"

This but an abusive father

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"I wonder if we should look at the animal world, elephants, lions and monkeys.. what do they do ?"

Children aren’t animals

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By *-sas-sinWoman
over a year ago

Arse end of the universe


"I lived in fear of my mum.

The older I got the more my "fuck you bitch" attitude developed and I wanted her to hit me so I could knock her the fuck out. I didn't respect her, I resented her. I still do to some degree.

I never wanted my son to feel that way about me and my parenting wasn't the best, I made mistakes, but we are extremely close and he can come to me about anything.

I took the "removal of privileges" stance and it worked pretty well.

"

Same but mine was Dad not Mum, and I have 2 girls now who I have an amazing relationship with as I swore to myself I wouldn't parent my kids the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I grew up in fear of smacking and was beaten regularly, I know work in the mental health sector and can say first hand from my experience that smacking is fucking damaging. The damage left behind is awful. There is really no excuse for it. You had a child. Teach it reslecfand boundaries. Once the child knows this then you're a long way to discipline and behaviour. A child getting smacked learns that if something upsets you hit it.

And yes I do have a child, I'm a single parent and I can say hand on heart I have never laid a hand on my child, nor shall i, he is growing into a respectful, well behaved, tolerant young man.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I wonder if we should look at the animal world, elephants, lions and monkeys.. what do they do ?"

Do you have children, Tom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think it is fine if it's appropriate for the age and incident

Something when some parents have had enough that day a smack might be easily dished or harder because they are pissed off. That when it starts getting a bit blurred.

What age ? What incident ? "

I work with a lot of young people.ones that hit parents, kids doing what they want in areas they shouldn't. 12 year olds selling hard drugs and throwing stuff at police. I'm not saying smack a kid for anything but there is a point when you need to be firm. I may have a different perspective. My own kids, smacking is useless lol

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Think it is fine if it's appropriate for the age and incident

Something when some parents have had enough that day a smack might be easily dished or harder because they are pissed off. That when it starts getting a bit blurred.

What age ? What incident ?

I work with a lot of young people.ones that hit parents, kids doing what they want in areas they shouldn't. 12 year olds selling hard drugs and throwing stuff at police. I'm not saying smack a kid for anything but there is a point when you need to be firm. I may have a different perspective. My own kids, smacking is useless lol"

These kids come from decent areas with families that actually care for them ? Or are they disadvantaged from birth ? Dealing drugs, throwing stuff at Police doesn’t sound very middle class yobbish behaviour to me. More like kids that have to join gangs to finally find someone who actually looks after them or cares for them. Kids that were born to parents that don’t give a shit, so let’s hit them I’m sure that will sort them out and give up their lucrative career in drug dealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a difference between a smack & child abuse. The amount of kids that say "you can't hit me I will call the police/childline" is rising as are the number of kids out causing trouble because they aren't disciplined.

Not saying a smack is suitable discipline mind

That is an issue with parenting, not with smacking. If a child has no boundaries set at home and no consequences for overstepping those boundaries they will soon find that for the majority of behaviors there are no consequences elsewhere either.

On the other hand if they have parents who have instilled respect and who will punish children (and I don't mean by hitting them) then those children won't be saying to police/teachers/social workers "you can't touch me" because they know that all these people have to do is talk to their parents.

The problems with child behaviour have never been about smacking or not, they are about being taught respect and this is the job of parents not statutory care providers. Given this is the case the simple question is "do you need to use smacking to teach respect?" I believe the answer is demonstrably "no" - this is despite belonging to the "I was caned as a child and it didn't do me any harm" school of thought. While it didn't harm me I know this isn't the case for all.

Mr"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

Well I suppose some might differtiate between hitting and a tap on the back of a hand if a child runs out in front of a car... Who knows ?

Not me.. "

Actually but has been thought of and is an exception to the rule

If you are stopping a child from being in danger so for example a child runs out in front of a car you grab them by the hair that would not be considered breaking the law. Or if you were to as an impulse reaction smack their hand away from a fire.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Difficult one to call, a few slapped bottoms did me no harm as that’s what it was a light tap to the bum, it’s when I was told I’d be given something to cry about was the worrying bit but in all seriousness I knew a guy who had the belt taken to him as a child and I think this damaged him as he became abusive himself with demons so thinking there’s a fine line that could be difficult to get right.

Be the best you can be xx

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

Well I suppose some might differtiate between hitting and a tap on the back of a hand if a child runs out in front of a car... Who knows ?

Not me.. "

The kid would already be scared enough, no need to add to it.

Give than a hug and explain what went wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just want to say as well, all of the "it didn't do me any harm" crowd. Your online on a sex site actively encouraging violence to children.... Take a long hard look in the mirror..

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I was smacked as a child and I was a little shit. There are far more effective methods.

I don't see any valid argument for it.

Those who say, "I was smacked as a child and it didn't do me any harm," are wrong. It made them into the kind of adult who says it is okay to hit children!

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By *ueen of sleezeWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

My child has never been smacked ever

The tone of my voice always sufficed

There has always been boundaries and consequences

Both of us singing from the same song sheet it worked for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok "

And yet it's acceptable to hit another adult in the name of sex. That one puzzles me

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

And yet it's acceptable to hit another adult in the name of sex. That one puzzles me"

Adults can consent to certain things that children cannot. Children U16 cannot consent to vanilla sex either, while adults can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

And yet it's acceptable to hit another adult in the name of sex. That one puzzles me"

Why because its totally different.

If its 2 consenting adults there is no issue, if its not then its against the law.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I was given as smack bottom or sharp hand slap from an early age. Same with brothers never did me much harm. I will add though what hurt me most was being sent to bed early after dinner and hearing mates calling for me and not being allowed out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was hit by my mum when I was a child. It didn’t make me respect her, I grew up resenting her and I was an obnoxious teenager with no respect for authority.

I am the complete opposite now, but not because of my parents.

Also, as a mother to a teenager and two primary aged children who I have never smacked or threatened violence against.. I’m very proud that they are growing up with a huge amount of respect for me and others.

When you use violence in almost all circumstances it shows a lack of control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

And yet it's acceptable to hit another adult in the name of sex. That one puzzles me

Why because its totally different.

If its 2 consenting adults there is no issue, if its not then its against the law. "

So consent, or the lack of it, is the only thing that makes it so abhorrent in any other circumstances?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was smacked as a child and I was a little shit. There are far more effective methods.

I don't see any valid argument for it.

Those who say, "I was smacked as a child and it didn't do me any harm," are wrong. It made them into the kind of adult who says it is okay to hit children! "

I'm not sure who this is in reply to but I make it quite clear in my comment that while for me I don't believe being smacked, even caned, has done me any harm I'm also well aware that this isn't the case for everyone and I'm a firm believer that there is absolutely no need to smack a child.

Mr

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We never decide not to smack our kids. It was just obvious from day 1. Thought never crossed our minds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was smacked as a child and I was a little shit. There are far more effective methods.

I don't see any valid argument for it.

Those who say, "I was smacked as a child and it didn't do me any harm," are wrong. It made them into the kind of adult who says it is okay to hit children!

I'm not sure who this is in reply to but I make it quite clear in my comment that while for me I don't believe being smacked, even caned, has done me any harm I'm also well aware that this isn't the case for everyone and I'm a firm believer that there is absolutely no need to smack a child.

Mr"

Perfectly summed up .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I Got a smack when i was young never did me any harm plenty kids out there could do with one they might have more manners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This really is an unanswerable question or proposition, this is Marmite!

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


" I Got a smack when i was young never did me any harm plenty kids out there could do with one they might have more manners"

Maybe that's what knocked all the punctuation out of you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children will be ruling the parents very shortly doing what they like cause they can

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"This really is an unanswerable question or proposition, this is Marmite!"
Erm... No it's very very answerable.

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

Set a moral compass in your kids when their young. Some of my friends with children have instilled this. And they have grown to be empathetic, good little diamonds

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

It's something I find difficult to discuss without emotion. I was beaten my dad and smacked by my mother. My dad would hide his abuse behind it was discipline, so do I find it difficult to accept that kids need smacking yes.

I have yet to hit my kids and I doubt I ever will. We have rewards and punishments so they are disciplined.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Think it is fine if it's appropriate for the age and incident

Something when some parents have had enough that day a smack might be easily dished or harder because they are pissed off. That when it starts getting a bit blurred.

What age ? What incident ?

I work with a lot of young people.ones that hit parents, kids doing what they want in areas they shouldn't. 12 year olds selling hard drugs and throwing stuff at police. I'm not saying smack a kid for anything but there is a point when you need to be firm. I may have a different perspective. My own kids, smacking is useless lol"

Perhaps take their crisps away ..

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

I was smacked when I played up, at the time I remember it caused disdain to my parents. I wasn't learning a lesson, just consequence.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Children will be ruling the parents very shortly doing what they like cause they can"

Absolute nonsense. We don't smack our children yet they know their boundaries. One has emerged as a decent young adult, the other is a polite and well behaved 3yo.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

Well I suppose some might differtiate between hitting and a tap on the back of a hand if a child runs out in front of a car... Who knows ?

Not me..

The kid would already be scared enough, no need to add to it.

Give than a hug and explain what went wrong. "

Hug a hoodie ...

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

I think we need to discipline our children without resorting to violence.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Children will be ruling the parents very shortly doing what they like cause they can

Absolute nonsense. We don't smack our children yet they know their boundaries. One has emerged as a decent young adult, the other is a polite and well behaved 3yo."

It's almost like some people think violence is a suitable replacement for fundamentally decent parenting. If they "need" a smack, you've already failed as a parent one way or another.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I ask again, Tom, do you have children? You've compared human children to animals like chimpanzees. Do you have any idea what you are talking about?

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Smacking is easier and quicker it means you don’t need to put in effort to teach obedience as you make them fear you instead - that’s not respect.

Taking away what means most to them is discipline, learning there are consequences to their actions.

My youngest was about 6 when he asked to go out to play one evening. I said no it’s too late, he asked what would happen I said there would be consequences he said oh will you ground me? I said I’m not sure but there will be consequences. He thought it over then went out anyway. I thought it was really funny as he never normally did this. I let him play for 15 minutes then brought him in. He said I suppose I’m grounded, No, you going to smack me, No. what are you going to do then? I said you aren’t getting supper or a story when you go to bed.

He was furious!! can you not just smack me he asked?

You know he never did it again

As he got older if he didn’t do what I asked I would simply say will I put your ipad/tv remote on top of the wardrobe? He very quickly did what was asked

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I was caned when I skipped school when I was 7. And then I was sent back to school after the caning.

I never thanked my father enough for caning me because that thought me a lesson that wrong is wrong and you still has to go to school even after you are punished.

I always have perfect school attendance after that.

Although I agree we shouldn't hit anyone, but the problem is not in the smacking but why and how it was delivered.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria


"I was smacked as a child and I was a little shit. There are far more effective methods.

I don't see any valid argument for it.

Those who say, "I was smacked as a child and it didn't do me any harm," are wrong. It made them into the kind of adult who says it is okay to hit children! "

Not at all, why would somebody who had a lightly slapped bum occasionally turn into an adult who thinks it’s ok to hit children? Could go completely the opposite way that they are dead against it, you can’t accuse people of that, totally nonsense statement sorry...I for one would never hit a child or anyone for that matter unless it was an adult that was harming my family then they would be on for it.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

if i'm running a fever, i still have a nightmare of big hands hitting me. exact dream since i was 3yo

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"Children will be ruling the parents very shortly doing what they like cause they can

Absolute nonsense. We don't smack our children yet they know their boundaries. One has emerged as a decent young adult, the other is a polite and well behaved 3yo.

It's almost like some people think violence is a suitable replacement for fundamentally decent parenting. If they "need" a smack, you've already failed as a parent one way or another. "

Parent shaming helps nobody

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I asked a question earlier so pro hitters can you please answer it, because I can’t take any of you or your arguments seriously.

What I want to know from anyone pro hitting, what do you do when it no longer works ? Punch them, kick them out of the house ? What do you do if they start hitting other Children?

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Children will be ruling the parents very shortly doing what they like cause they can

Absolute nonsense. We don't smack our children yet they know their boundaries. One has emerged as a decent young adult, the other is a polite and well behaved 3yo.

It's almost like some people think violence is a suitable replacement for fundamentally decent parenting. If they "need" a smack, you've already failed as a parent one way or another.

Parent shaming helps nobody "

It's almost like some people think violence is a suitable replacement for fundamentally decent parenting. If they "need" a smack, you've already failed as a parent one way or another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never needed to. My kids went in fear of 'the Look'..

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire


"I was smacked as a child and I was a little shit. There are far more effective methods.

I don't see any valid argument for it.

Those who say, "I was smacked as a child and it didn't do me any harm," are wrong. It made them into the kind of adult who says it is okay to hit children!

Not at all, why would somebody who had a lightly slapped bum occasionally turn into an adult who thinks it’s ok to hit children? Could go completely the opposite way that they are dead against it, you can’t accuse people of that, totally nonsense statement sorry...I for one would never hit a child or anyone for that matter unless it was an adult that was harming my family then they would be on for it. "

Precisely my sentiment. I'm dead against it despite my prior little shit shennagians. My parents have good morals , but a different generation, a different view. I'd like to think we have since evolved and so follows the law. no excuse in this day and age.

Be a responsible parent to your maliable kids brains and own your responsibility and values you instill.

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By *..FirstMan
over a year ago

london

Why doesn’t the government ban people from becoming parents in the first place? The mere fact the some people breed is predisposing these kids to abuse... the smack I received from my parents was far softer than the smacks life has given me.

Maybe the NHS can provide a lifetime supply of cotton wool to wrap these kids in.

Call social services as my kids will get a smack if they don’t listen... rather have me sitting in the dock than my kids with criminal records like this initiative will create. God forbid that these kids then join the armed forces, at least their sergeant can tuck them in at night... FFS political correctness will be the end of me... woke mob!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back in the day when I was a kid I respected my parents the thing is with today's Society is especially with me working in retail when I used to work on a day shift a lot of the kids used to give s*** to their parents sometimes there is just no discipline in the world don't get me wrong I don't think you need to smack your child once you basically tell them it's wrong to do something they should respect their elders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This really is an unanswerable question or proposition, this is Marmite!Erm... No it's very very answerable. "

Have you answered?

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire


"Back in the day when I was a kid I respected my parents the thing is with today's Society is especially with me working in retail when I used to work on a day shift a lot of the kids used to give s*** to their parents sometimes there is just no discipline in the world don't get me wrong I don't think you need to smack your child once you basically tell them it's wrong to do something they should respect their elders"

You're not wrong my friend. Respecting their elders however takes effort and insight by virtue of good parenting .

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Back in the day when I was a kid I respected my parents the thing is with today's Society is especially with me working in retail when I used to work on a day shift a lot of the kids used to give s*** to their parents sometimes there is just no discipline in the world don't get me wrong I don't think you need to smack your child once you basically tell them it's wrong to do something they should respect their elders

You're not wrong my friend. Respecting their elders however takes effort and insight by virtue of good parenting . "

Correct and well said

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I do wonder if those advocating no smacking are the lucky ones who never had too

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I do wonder if those advocating no smacking are the lucky ones who never had too"

What about you and your offspring, Tom? Why don't you offer your expert parental insights?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smacking is easier and quicker it means you don’t need to put in effort to teach obedience as you make them fear you instead - that’s not respect.

Taking away what means most to them is discipline, learning there are consequences to their actions.

My youngest was about 6 when he asked to go out to play one evening. I said no it’s too late, he asked what would happen I said there would be consequences he said oh will you ground me? I said I’m not sure but there will be consequences. He thought it over then went out anyway. I thought it was really funny as he never normally did this. I let him play for 15 minutes then brought him in. He said I suppose I’m grounded, No, you going to smack me, No. what are you going to do then? I said you aren’t getting supper or a story when you go to bed.

He was furious!! can you not just smack me he asked?

You know he never did it again

As he got older if he didn’t do what I asked I would simply say will I put your ipad/tv remote on top of the wardrobe? He very quickly did what was asked "

Aww made me smile to read that! Cause and consequence, the best way

I never smacked my boys either, never needed too. They were good lads; still are

I never really set boundaries but gave them choices, the scenario and then reminded them of the consequence, as I always trusted them, put faith in them as a result they never felt the need to push because there was nothing to push against.

They grew up to be respectful, kind and have sucessful professional careers

This is how I was raised, my Dad was dead against any kind of smacking, he never laid a finger on me.

I was dyslexic, but the headmaster at my primary School used to humiliate me by making me stand at the front of the class mocking my work, he would also punch my arm. I bruised easily, one night my Dad noticed them. I never saw him so angry, he went to the School the next day, not sure what happened or what he did but the teacher never touched me again

My Dad said he never laid a finger on me ever, so nobody else had the right too! He always advocated "my body, my rules" and the importance of consent

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"I do wonder if those advocating no smacking are the lucky ones who never had too"

All children misbehave it’s how they develop their social skills so a parent that has neverhad to smack their child means they have probably chosen a different method to discipline not that they were lucky.

My youngest is now becoming a teenager and yes his moods are changing and he is not as obliging as he was even as little as 6 months ago but again I use other methods and reasoning to get him to do as he is told.

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By *..FirstMan
over a year ago

london


"I asked a question earlier so pro hitters can you please answer it, because I can’t take any of you or your arguments seriously.

What I want to know from anyone pro hitting, what do you do when it no longer works ? Punch them, kick them out of the house ? What do you do if they start hitting other Children?"

My experience is that kids that are not smacked and raised by left wing hippies who think that rationalising with a 10 year old always achieves results are the bullies at school as there is never consequence at home. Smacking on the bottom is not the only tool but it is one that I keep in the box.

Smack on the bottom is thankfully the last resort and only had to use it once but I will be buggered if any politically correct gob shite starts lecturing me on raising my kids. My kids go to good schools, eat well at the dinner table, have every Xbox and VR game they could wish for, I force the to go walking in the forest with me and run them around to every activity they can fit into the week. Do I make mistakes, Hell Yes! I can be a better parent but i fear that the damage i do to my kids is more about how I handle day to day issues and not the once off time I have to use a smack. History will look back on this Woke time with some wonder.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings


"Why doesn’t the government ban people from becoming parents in the first place? The mere fact the some people breed is predisposing these kids to abuse... the smack I received from my parents was far softer than the smacks life has given me.

Maybe the NHS can provide a lifetime supply of cotton wool to wrap these kids in.

Call social services as my kids will get a smack if they don’t listen... rather have me sitting in the dock than my kids with criminal records like this initiative will create. God forbid that these kids then join the armed forces, at least their sergeant can tuck them in at night... FFS political correctness will be the end of me... woke mob!"

Yes same mum was wate till your dad gets home and if if was really bad smack but we new what we had done wrong or if fighting with my brother he would bang our heads together you learnt simple

But will it be next you can't take the phone off them as that's mental cruelty. Then what this is a slippery slope. There are now bad kids well we went that good but it's about bad parents

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I do not judge either way although the claws of the nanny state extend further

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By *..FirstMan
over a year ago

london


"Back in the day when I was a kid I respected my parents the thing is with today's Society is especially with me working in retail when I used to work on a day shift a lot of the kids used to give s*** to their parents sometimes there is just no discipline in the world don't get me wrong I don't think you need to smack your child once you basically tell them it's wrong to do something they should respect their elders

You're not wrong my friend. Respecting their elders however takes effort and insight by virtue of good parenting . "

So they should respect elders? Why? I mean I agree, but I also believe that smacking a child has its place too. Why should a child respect an older person when they are so clearly equal?

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By *..FirstMan
over a year ago

london


"I do not judge either way although the claws of the nanny state extend further "

True story....

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By *..FirstMan
over a year ago

london


"Why doesn’t the government ban people from becoming parents in the first place? The mere fact the some people breed is predisposing these kids to abuse... the smack I received from my parents was far softer than the smacks life has given me.

Maybe the NHS can provide a lifetime supply of cotton wool to wrap these kids in.

Call social services as my kids will get a smack if they don’t listen... rather have me sitting in the dock than my kids with criminal records like this initiative will create. God forbid that these kids then join the armed forces, at least their sergeant can tuck them in at night... FFS political correctness will be the end of me... woke mob!

Yes same mum was wate till your dad gets home and if if was really bad smack but we new what we had done wrong or if fighting with my brother he would bang our heads together you learnt simple

But will it be next you can't take the phone off them as that's mental cruelty. Then what this is a slippery slope. There are now bad kids well we went that good but it's about bad parents "

Absolutely no bad kids only bad parents! Watch this space regarding the phones...

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

One thing I’ve always been curious about.

Strike another adult and it’s called assault and is, quite rightly an arrest able offence.

Strike your own child - however small and unable to defend themselves - and it’s called ‘smacking’ and is deemed by many to be acceptable.

Tbh I’m only amazed that it’s still legal to hit a child in 2020.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"

My Dad said he never laid a finger on me ever, so nobody else had the right too! He always advocated "my body, my rules" and the importance of consent

"

I still laugh remembering this as it was so funny. I was actually quite please he tried it as it let him see what consequences were and realise he didn’t like them.

He is really funny and intelligent so does think things through and will apologise when he is in the wrong as do I so think he will do fine.

Good on your dad as humiliation is not discipline either. My dad never had to hit us he would just shout RIGHT!! We immediately behaved. My aunt used to threaten her youngest with do you want me to phone uncle M? I think as he was so tall and had this air of authority about him and took no nonsense from anyone but was friendly with everyone too.

I tell you what though for all he didn’t suffer fools gladly there was well over 200 people at his funeral service, that was the respect he commanded and never laid a finger on anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The Scots have banned parents smacking their children. Wales following and sure for the English to follow also.

I suppose we will find out what the data looks like in about 15-20 years if it has any affect on the rest of us..."

You say England and Wales will surely follow... might I remind you, of nhs prescription charges and hospital car park fees...

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby


"There's a difference between a smack & child abuse. The amount of kids that say "you can't hit me I will call the police/childline" is rising as are the number of kids out causing trouble because they aren't disciplined.

Not saying a smack is suitable discipline mind "
I agree there is a difference between a smack & child abuse but look where we are now kids can say what they want.. It did,nt do me any harm to get smacked when I deserved it it taught me some respect.

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By *..FirstMan
over a year ago

london


"One thing I’ve always been curious about.

Strike another adult and it’s called assault and is, quite rightly an arrest able offence.

Strike your own child - however small and unable to defend themselves - and it’s called ‘smacking’ and is deemed by many to be acceptable.

Tbh I’m only amazed that it’s still legal to hit a child in 2020. "

Today I can be accused of verbal assault too. Maybe we can just ask kids to behave, sit back and watch the show... we could also pray to God and maybe he can do the job for us or maybe just wait for the government guidance on raising kids...

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

[Removed by poster at 07/11/20 21:13:51]

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

Well said and so true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have to hit your kids to make them listen to you then you're doing something seriously wrong! And I will judge you as a shitty parent.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If it's not acceptable to hit another adult it's not acceptable to hit a child. I'm glad the ban has been brought in and hope it is applied to England soon. I can't imagine why anybody would think that an adult hitting a child is ok

And yet it's acceptable to hit another adult in the name of sex. That one puzzles me"

Yep, puzzles quite a few people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You smack a kid and then when they grow up they Think It's All Right to smack their kids end of the day day I've always been told that to get into someone's head you can easily talk to them when I was growing up up a lot of kids did not have any manners

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By *..FirstMan
over a year ago

london


"If you have to hit your kids to make them listen to you then you're doing something seriously wrong! And I will judge you as a shitty parent. "

OMG, I have been judge wanting. Let me know when you are planning to come and collect my kids?

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Smacking is control based parenting. No merit. Psychologically,fear based learning leads to failure in ability self manage and problem solve. There is no merit. Children learn by testing boundaries. A good job as the adult is to help them to work it out for themselves rather than to control and judge their behaviour. My children have never been smacked. They know good boundaries and have a good sense of themselves. Too right smacking should be illegal. It is violence and a violation of basic human rights.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"If you have to hit your kids to make them listen to you then you're doing something seriously wrong! And I will judge you as a shitty parent. "

Then you are defence, prosecution and jury

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding "

I don't think there is any such thing as a gentle smack to a child if the energy behind it is punishment. How would you like it if someone smacked you as a consequence? Obvs were not talking sexually or playfully. I think you would find it annoying, violating.. Would it teach you a lesson? I think not.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

I don't think there is any such thing as a gentle smack to a child if the energy behind it is punishment. How would you like it if someone smacked you as a consequence? Obvs were not talking sexually or playfully. I think you would find it annoying, violating.. Would it teach you a lesson? I think not. "

I disagree

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding "

I think you're showing yourself up if you think "a good hiding" is appropriate language.

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

I don't think there is any such thing as a gentle smack to a child if the energy behind it is punishment. How would you like it if someone smacked you as a consequence? Obvs were not talking sexually or playfully. I think you would find it annoying, violating.. Would it teach you a lesson? I think not.

I disagree "

Well we will have to agree to disagree. There is a good book called "the science of parenting" which explains neutrally and clearly what happens neurologically during certain situations in childhood and parenting. By Margot Sutherland I think. It's a good reference for these things.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

I don't think there is any such thing as a gentle smack to a child if the energy behind it is punishment. How would you like it if someone smacked you as a consequence? Obvs were not talking sexually or playfully. I think you would find it annoying, violating.. Would it teach you a lesson? I think not.

I disagree

Well we will have to agree to disagree. There is a good book called "the science of parenting" which explains neutrally and clearly what happens neurologically during certain situations in childhood and parenting. By Margot Sutherland I think. It's a good reference for these things. "

Right up there with men are from mars...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding "

Why are you even describing hitting a child as gentle? If it's a gentle smack then what is that going to teach them? Gentle is a positive thing and you can't put gentle and hitting your kid in the same sentence.

You're teaching your children it's ok to hit if they are not happy or if they are angry. You are teaching your children to be obedient out of fear of being hit. And yes, your child may behave because they are scared of being hit again but as soon as they realise they can act like idiots without being hit they will probably do it so what are you teaching them?

What is the point? Talk to your fucking child instead of making them fear you because you have power over them.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

Why are you even describing hitting a child as gentle? If it's a gentle smack then what is that going to teach them? Gentle is a positive thing and you can't put gentle and hitting your kid in the same sentence.

You're teaching your children it's ok to hit if they are not happy or if they are angry. You are teaching your children to be obedient out of fear of being hit. And yes, your child may behave because they are scared of being hit again but as soon as they realise they can act like idiots without being hit they will probably do it so what are you teaching them?

What is the point? Talk to your fucking child instead of making them fear you because you have power over them.

"

Reasonable chastisement is still legal.. outlaw it fine.. enforce it in supermarkets fine.. in the home then no chance.. pointless law..

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

I don't think there is any such thing as a gentle smack to a child if the energy behind it is punishment. How would you like it if someone smacked you as a consequence? Obvs were not talking sexually or playfully. I think you would find it annoying, violating.. Would it teach you a lesson? I think not.

I disagree

Well we will have to agree to disagree. There is a good book called "the science of parenting" which explains neutrally and clearly what happens neurologically during certain situations in childhood and parenting. By Margot Sutherland I think. It's a good reference for these things.

Right up there with men are from mars..."

Not at all actually.. Otherwise I wouldn't bother to recommend it. I'm not inclined to make reference to trashy parenting books or styles without substance. I'm not a fan of them as they are usually based on trends rather than neurological fact and wellbeing. I consider myself intelligent enough to know the difference. I work in childrens services and know about child psychology and educational psychology. My work is with children with autism, parenting support and family well being so I don't make my statements lightly and they are not based on my opinion only. (I consider men are from Mars, women are from venus as trash btw). But I don't get the sense you're willing look at this objectively. You seem to have made up your mind. But there is some good information about child development and the effects of parenting out there if you want to look into it any deeper.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I have no children and never wanted them.. Alex Salmond passing these laws is virtue signalling.. we have no children smacked in Scotland.. well not in public.. driven underground

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I have no children and never wanted them.. Alex Salmond passing these laws is virtue signalling.. we have no children smacked in Scotland.. well not in public.. driven underground"

When was the last time you saw a kid smacked in public? It's generally has been as you call it underground

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I have no children and never wanted them.. Alex Salmond passing these laws is virtue signalling.. we have no children smacked in Scotland.. well not in public.. driven underground

When was the last time you saw a kid smacked in public? It's generally has been as you call it underground "

Exactly my point..

Virtue signalling law..

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I have no children and never wanted them.. Alex Salmond passing these laws is virtue signalling.. we have no children smacked in Scotland.. well not in public.. driven underground

When was the last time you saw a kid smacked in public? It's generally has been as you call it underground

Exactly my point..

Virtue signalling law.."

So why are you so concerned then? It's always happened in the home and will carry on as such in your opinion. So why you making a fuss

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I have no children and never wanted them.. Alex Salmond passing these laws is virtue signalling.. we have no children smacked in Scotland.. well not in public.. driven underground

When was the last time you saw a kid smacked in public? It's generally has been as you call it underground

Exactly my point..

Virtue signalling law..

So why are you so concerned then? It's always happened in the home and will carry on as such in your opinion. So why you making a fuss"

I am making no fuss.. it's called debate.. try it sometime

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I cannot comprehend the thought of hurting or physically threatening a child, it’s completely beyond me. I’m pleased Scotland has brought this in and I sincerely hope other countries follow suit. There are ways in managing negative behaviour and two wrongs make a right isnt one of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really know. I was smacked a few times as a young child - I was jealous of my younger brother and sister and hurt them a few times and got a quick, sharp smack for it. Looking back, it wasn't undeserved, it hasn't caused me any long term trauma and it was an effective punishment because I did stop hurting my siblings after a few times.

Do I think it's right to smack children? No, not really, I think there are much better forms of discipline, but I can understand how it might happen in the heat of the moment and it doesn't automatically mean that the parent is a monster or the child will be forever scarred for life.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

Why are you even describing hitting a child as gentle? If it's a gentle smack then what is that going to teach them? Gentle is a positive thing and you can't put gentle and hitting your kid in the same sentence.

You're teaching your children it's ok to hit if they are not happy or if they are angry. You are teaching your children to be obedient out of fear of being hit. And yes, your child may behave because they are scared of being hit again but as soon as they realise they can act like idiots without being hit they will probably do it so what are you teaching them?

What is the point? Talk to your fucking child instead of making them fear you because you have power over them.

Reasonable chastisement is still legal.. outlaw it fine.. enforce it in supermarkets fine.. in the home then no chance.. pointless law.."

If a child tells an adult that their parent has physically hurt them then that adult has a responsibility to report it. Police and social work would become involved and a possible child protection investigation - this isn’t uncommon so it’s not a pointless law in relation to what happens in the home.

Off on a tangent a bit here - but domestic abuse laws can relate to events in the home, that’s not a pointless law.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A slap on the back of the legs or a light smack on the hand at the right age will teach our young respect, No means No.

The generation that fought against the likes of Hitler was not made up of a bunch of soft touch pansies that didn’t know right from wrong, that didn’t know to respect their elders and the communities in which they were raised within....

The issue really lays once again with the minority of degenerates that abuse corporal punishment and inflict indiscriminate harm to the innocent, for this there should be a zero tolerance, pull together and bring back the respect in our young.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Can we still lock them in cupboards ?

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

It is an interesting debate.. abuse can be physical and mental..

Some of those opposing reasonable chastisement of a child may prefer alternative means but they could be using mental torture.. no marks but abuse all the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can we still lock them in cupboards ?"

Yes, but the cupboards have to be full of big hairy spiders.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

They fuck you up your mum and dad

They might not mean to but they do...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Can we still lock them in cupboards ?

Yes, but the cupboards have to be full of big hairy spiders. "

I'm against children having pets.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"They fuck you up your mum and dad

They might not mean to but they do... "

Good old Phillip

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

I always find these interesting

so those that think they will remove stuff from the room as punishment

do you know that this is a form of abuse

same if you remove there phones from them as you are activly cutting them off from there friends

you see do gooders think remove one punishment replaced with another punishment

however it maybe fine for others to do this sort of punishment but its certainly not ok in another scenario

as goes for smaking the back of the legs just to note here it leaves loverly red hand marks

leave a mark you will be arrested and charged here in england.

as officialy you can smack your child but unofficially you cant

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Well said Baz....

Taking someone's belongings away is abuse.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"They fuck you up your mum and dad

They might not mean to but they do...

Good old Phillip "

He knew what he was talking about.

There's another one about a hedgehog and a lawn mower. Something along the lines of

"be kind, while there is still time"

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By *ragueurMan
over a year ago

Bisshop Auckland


"I wonder if we should look at the animal world, elephants, lions and monkeys.. what do they do ?"

They get killed by inadequate selfish humans

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

There is physical abuse and mental abuse.. the people slamming a gentle snack should look at themselves.. are they mental abusers.. ?

Only they can say..

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"There is physical abuse and mental abuse.. the people slamming a gentle snack should look at themselves.. are they mental abusers.. ?

Only they can say.. "

I want a gentle snack ....... Is that like a slow moving sushi belt ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I smacked my from an early age just a crack on the backside and as they got older it got harder and id shout more. By time they were 8ish I never once had to smack them again. And they both turned out fine and respectable

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's great that it's going. Should have stopped long ago.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford


"It's great that it's going. Should have stopped long ago. "

To be replaced with seen as you cannot control your child your reported to the police and social services.

Theres still no control over the child even with remedial services imposed on you and core meetings sorry the child is going into the care system.

Youve tried your best but the child wont go to school youve been sacked as you had to be in school with your child as theyver been playing truant.

Your jailed as a parent as your child still not going to school.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree stop smacking kids, it hurts your hands.... cattle prods work much better.....Ice cold buckets of water gets them out of bed, rewire their room on its own isolation switch any mouth just flick it, no lights or power

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This will run and run. Those who think smacking, ie physical violence to a child is acceptable will probably never change their view.

Those of the it did me no harm school, do not know how their life may have been different if they had not been subjected to physical violence.

Those who resort to any form of physical violence in my opinion have already lost the argument.

I was smacked, beaten had my nose broken by a parent brandishing a walking stick. Some here may say I must have deserved it. It taught me to fear those who were supposed to protect me. It led me to one conclusion....it doesn't work.

When I became a parent I swore that my sons life would be different, that I would never smack or hit him. That there must be better ways. Even children have understanding, and its better to communicate with people, yeah children are people too, rather than try to beat them into any form of compliance....

My son has never once been struck by me....

Yet he is a far better man than I will ever be.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

At least one contributor on here who supported smacking has commented on another thread that a good day as a child was one where he wasn't beaten. I think that says it all really.

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Banning smacking?? This is why the world is the way it is now days!

When we was kids a smack wouldnt have been a little wqy of saying you did wrong and we would have walked away thanking God, I know when I fucked up I knew i fucked up but that taught respect and right from wrong.

Kids now days have no respect, no discipline, no prospect. Its not there fault. A child grows up learning what they are shown and taught, you guide and help them and show them the best way ya can. Im a parent myself 1 girl and 1 boy. I smacked her bottom when she played up or was rude and only did that twice in her life, she's polite never swears, never rude to anyone and respectful cause she was taught.

A good beating never hurt anyone, schools used to cane ya when ya fucked up. We stopped that. Teachers getting stabbed now.

Police gave ya a clip round the ear and if ya told ya dad he would give ya one as the police didn't no it for nothing.

Cant say things bow as it offends people.

Country and World are fucked.

Our grandfathers and all those who died, who risked there lives to fight for our freedom, was all for nothing and its so sad.

We have veteran's on the streets and foreigners arriving on boats given accommodation.

O would go on but I get wound up haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's horrible and I hate to see it. I'm ashamed that I lost control and smacked my son once. It was the first and the last time I smacked either of my children.

Since that day we communicate. They have clear boundaries. We discuss appropriate behaviour, and negotiate in situations where negotiation is applicable. We're a calm household where voices are rarely raised. We aren't spiteful, and if we sometimes get it wrong, we talk it through and apologise if needed. My children respect me and our house rules, and they in return have my respect. I rarely have to chastise and I'm thankful that, with this approach to parenting, I've managed to grow two fine young teenagers

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Banning smacking?? This is why the world is the way it is now days!

When we was kids a smack wouldnt have been a little wqy of saying you did wrong and we would have walked away thanking God, I know when I fucked up I knew i fucked up but that taught respect and right from wrong.

Kids now days have no respect, no discipline, no prospect. Its not there fault. A child grows up learning what they are shown and taught, you guide and help them and show them the best way ya can. Im a parent myself 1 girl and 1 boy. I smacked her bottom when she played up or was rude and only did that twice in her life, she's polite never swears, never rude to anyone and respectful cause she was taught.

A good beating never hurt anyone, schools used to cane ya when ya fucked up. We stopped that. Teachers getting stabbed now.

Police gave ya a clip round the ear and if ya told ya dad he would give ya one as the police didn't no it for nothing.

Cant say things bow as it offends people.

Country and World are fucked.

Our grandfathers and all those who died, who risked there lives to fight for our freedom, was all for nothing and its so sad.

We have veteran's on the streets and foreigners arriving on boats given accommodation.

O would go on but I get wound up haha "

I disagree that kids today have no respect or discipline

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford


"I agree stop smacking kids, it hurts your hands.... cattle prods work much better.....Ice cold buckets of water gets them out of bed, rewire their room on its own isolation switch any mouth just flick it, no lights or power "

also known as abuse though in a different format.

throw water over them you can be arrested its assault or dont you know that ?

switching lights off is classed as dangerous and in some a fear of the dark which is of coarse abuse.

same with plugs off they need power to charge there gear for the next day.

as goes for cattle prod its assault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This will run and run. Those who think smacking, ie physical violence to a child is acceptable will probably never change their view.

Those of the it did me no harm school, do not know how their life may have been different if they had not been subjected to physical violence.

Those who resort to any form of physical violence in my opinion have already lost the argument.

I was smacked, beaten had my nose broken by a parent brandishing a walking stick. Some here may say I must have deserved it. It taught me to fear those who were supposed to protect me. It led me to one conclusion....it doesn't work.

When I became a parent I swore that my sons life would be different, that I would never smack or hit him. That there must be better ways. Even children have understanding, and its better to communicate with people, yeah children are people too, rather than try to beat them into any form of compliance....

My son has never once been struck by me....

Yet he is a far better man than I will ever be.

"

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Banning smacking?? This is why the world is the way it is now days!

When we was kids a smack wouldnt have been a little wqy of saying you did wrong and we would have walked away thanking God, I know when I fucked up I knew i fucked up but that taught respect and right from wrong.

Kids now days have no respect, no discipline, no prospect. Its not there fault. A child grows up learning what they are shown and taught, you guide and help them and show them the best way ya can. Im a parent myself 1 girl and 1 boy. I smacked her bottom when she played up or was rude and only did that twice in her life, she's polite never swears, never rude to anyone and respectful cause she was taught.

A good beating never hurt anyone, schools used to cane ya when ya fucked up. We stopped that. Teachers getting stabbed now.

Police gave ya a clip round the ear and if ya told ya dad he would give ya one as the police didn't no it for nothing.

Cant say things bow as it offends people.

Country and World are fucked.

Our grandfathers and all those who died, who risked there lives to fight for our freedom, was all for nothing and its so sad.

We have veteran's on the streets and foreigners arriving on boats given accommodation.

O would go on but I get wound up haha

I disagree that kids today have no respect or discipline"

I would add that veterans on the street and the rest has absolutely nothing to do with the way children are disciplined. And the rest is tripe too "a good beating never hurt anyone". It bloody well did/does and has no place in a civilised society.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Banning smacking?? This is why the world is the way it is now days!

When we was kids a smack wouldnt have been a little wqy of saying you did wrong and we would have walked away thanking God, I know when I fucked up I knew i fucked up but that taught respect and right from wrong.

Kids now days have no respect, no discipline, no prospect. Its not there fault. A child grows up learning what they are shown and taught, you guide and help them and show them the best way ya can. Im a parent myself 1 girl and 1 boy. I smacked her bottom when she played up or was rude and only did that twice in her life, she's polite never swears, never rude to anyone and respectful cause she was taught.

A good beating never hurt anyone, schools used to cane ya when ya fucked up. We stopped that. Teachers getting stabbed now.

Police gave ya a clip round the ear and if ya told ya dad he would give ya one as the police didn't no it for nothing.

Cant say things bow as it offends people.

Country and World are fucked.

Our grandfathers and all those who died, who risked there lives to fight for our freedom, was all for nothing and its so sad.

We have veteran's on the streets and foreigners arriving on boats given accommodation.

O would go on but I get wound up haha

I disagree that kids today have no respect or discipline

I would add that veterans on the street and the rest has absolutely nothing to do with the way children are disciplined. And the rest is tripe too "a good beating never hurt anyone". It bloody well did/does and has no place in a civilised society."

A stand out memory from my school days is a boy getting the cane, in front of the whole school. I can remember his name, I can picture him standing on the stage waiting as straight as a ram rod. He was ten bloody years old and not only physically hurt but humiliated too. When I told my mum she was furious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree stop smacking kids, it hurts your hands.... cattle prods work much better.....Ice cold buckets of water gets them out of bed, rewire their room on its own isolation switch any mouth just flick it, no lights or power

also known as abuse though in a different format.

throw water over them you can be arrested its assault or dont you know that ?

switching lights off is classed as dangerous and in some a fear of the dark which is of coarse abuse.

same with plugs off they need power to charge there gear for the next day.

as goes for cattle prod its assault "

And you are exactely what is wrong with today, our house our rules the door is there use it and dont ever come back

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Bit hit and miss with this.

Boundaries have to be set, do you do it mentally with the possibility of screwing the person up, or as nature’s dictates, instant set and move on.

Weird, my youngest daughter has recently told me, some of her friends didn’t like to call for her in case I answered the door.

She knows a pussy cat when she sees one, and laughing acknowledges how safe she felt.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Banning smacking?? This is why the world is the way it is now days!

When we was kids a smack wouldnt have been a little wqy of saying you did wrong and we would have walked away thanking God, I know when I fucked up I knew i fucked up but that taught respect and right from wrong.

Kids now days have no respect, no discipline, no prospect. Its not there fault. A child grows up learning what they are shown and taught, you guide and help them and show them the best way ya can. Im a parent myself 1 girl and 1 boy. I smacked her bottom when she played up or was rude and only did that twice in her life, she's polite never swears, never rude to anyone and respectful cause she was taught.

A good beating never hurt anyone, schools used to cane ya when ya fucked up. We stopped that. Teachers getting stabbed now.

Police gave ya a clip round the ear and if ya told ya dad he would give ya one as the police didn't no it for nothing.

Cant say things bow as it offends people.

Country and World are fucked.

Our grandfathers and all those who died, who risked there lives to fight for our freedom, was all for nothing and its so sad.

We have veteran's on the streets and foreigners arriving on boats given accommodation.

O would go on but I get wound up haha "

‘A good beating never hurt anyone’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banning smacking?? This is why the world is the way it is now days!

When we was kids a smack wouldnt have been a little wqy of saying you did wrong and we would have walked away thanking God, I know when I fucked up I knew i fucked up but that taught respect and right from wrong.

Kids now days have no respect, no discipline, no prospect. Its not there fault. A child grows up learning what they are shown and taught, you guide and help them and show them the best way ya can. Im a parent myself 1 girl and 1 boy. I smacked her bottom when she played up or was rude and only did that twice in her life, she's polite never swears, never rude to anyone and respectful cause she was taught.

A good beating never hurt anyone, schools used to cane ya when ya fucked up. We stopped that. Teachers getting stabbed now.

Police gave ya a clip round the ear and if ya told ya dad he would give ya one as the police didn't no it for nothing.

Cant say things bow as it offends people.

Country and World are fucked.

Our grandfathers and all those who died, who risked there lives to fight for our freedom, was all for nothing and its so sad.

We have veteran's on the streets and foreigners arriving on boats given accommodation.

O would go on but I get wound up haha "

Oh give it a rest.

You've always had kids who act like idiots and have no respect but you just hear more about it now as we have such easy access to the internet where everything is shared.

If you think every kid who is disrespectful and troublesome would be different if their parents just gave them a good beating then I really do worry about you mate.

You're acting like the whole generation who grew up when beating was seen as acceptable are fucking angels on earth full of respect and manners.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Thats the problem today.

Parents want to blame everyone else if their "little angel" turns out not to be.

They should look at themselves rather than using distraction and blaming how others bring up theirs.

Todays children have far more than we ever had, including freedom, but yet still choose to blame our generation for their shortcomings.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"This will run and run. Those who think smacking, ie physical violence to a child is acceptable will probably never change their view.

Those of the it did me no harm school, do not know how their life may have been different if they had not been subjected to physical violence.

Those who resort to any form of physical violence in my opinion have already lost the argument.

I was smacked, beaten had my nose broken by a parent brandishing a walking stick. Some here may say I must have deserved it. It taught me to fear those who were supposed to protect me. It led me to one conclusion....it doesn't work.

When I became a parent I swore that my sons life would be different, that I would never smack or hit him. That there must be better ways. Even children have understanding, and its better to communicate with people, yeah children are people too, rather than try to beat them into any form of compliance....

My son has never once been struck by me....

Yet he is a far better man than I will ever be.

"

You've written this so much better than I could have. My father beat me yes it was abuse but he hid behind discipline. My mother only ever smacked or did the wait til your father comes home. Which in itself is a form of mental torture.

It's taken years of work to undo the damage they have done and I'm still working on it. My kids are already better than I am, they are confident and understand what love is.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

And a question to those who agree with smacking. Do you/ would you snack your child at the school gates in front of teachers and parents?

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

Pricks smack children. End of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was properly smacked by my parents but I will never do it to my kids it wasn't the best approach.

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By *iseekingbiCouple
over a year ago

N ireland and West Midlands

No need to hit children, ever

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I think some are confusing reasonable chastisement of a child with hitting, punching, kicking etc..

Lots of cases coming up where parents being reported for smacking a hand in public I think..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smacking is so modern and really did want banning, I much prefer the slipper or belt buckle much more affective.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At my Primary school kids were caned on the third time on being told of for talking while eating school lunches! ...and it hurt. If kids got caned at school they would never dream of telling their parents as they would inevitably support the teachers.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"At my Primary school kids were caned on the third time on being told of for talking while eating school lunches! ...and it hurt. If kids got caned at school they would never dream of telling their parents as they would inevitably support the teachers. "

Caned for talking

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

It's not that much different to training an animal. I mean professional trainers who use their chains for the good of the animal.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"It's not that much different to training an animal. I mean professional trainers who use their chains for the good of the animal."

Oh stop spouting utter codswallop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At my Primary school kids were caned on the third time on being told of for talking while eating school lunches! ...and it hurt. If kids got caned at school they would never dream of telling their parents as they would inevitably support the teachers. "

At primary school in the mid 70s, I was taken to the headmaster's office and given the ruler for not eating all of my dinner. I did tell my mother, who promptly arrived at school the following morning to tell the principal in no uncertain terms that if he ever again laid a finger on me, or any other child, for something so trivial she'd make sure he would have a swift early retirement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At my Primary school kids were caned on the third time on being told of for talking while eating school lunches! ...and it hurt. If kids got caned at school they would never dream of telling their parents as they would inevitably support the teachers.

At primary school in the mid 70s, I was taken to the headmaster's office and given the ruler for not eating all of my dinner. I did tell my mother, who promptly arrived at school the following morning to tell the principal in no uncertain terms that if he ever again laid a finger on me, or any other child, for something so trivial she'd make sure he would have a swift early retirement. "

This is indication of the good progress made by society between the mid 60s and the mid 70s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never raised a hand to either of mine. Mr's step Mum knocked him about regularly but I've always been against hitting/smacking even without seeing the effect it had on him.

I can understand why some people snap in the heat of the moment but I think taking the time to explain the consequences of actions works out better in the long term.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't read the thread and I haven't got children but I feel strongly that violence towards anyone is wrong.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"At my Primary school kids were caned on the third time on being told of for talking while eating school lunches! ...and it hurt. If kids got caned at school they would never dream of telling their parents as they would inevitably support the teachers.

At primary school in the mid 70s, I was taken to the headmaster's office and given the ruler for not eating all of my dinner. I did tell my mother, who promptly arrived at school the following morning to tell the principal in no uncertain terms that if he ever again laid a finger on me, or any other child, for something so trivial she'd make sure he would have a swift early retirement.

This is indication of the good progress made by society between the mid 60s and the mid 70s. "

It was still happening in the mid 80s

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend


"It's not that much different to training an animal. I mean professional trainers who use their chains for the good of the animal."
I worked with animals for many years & always found the carrot was more effective than the stick

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By *amie HantsWoman
over a year ago

Atlantis

It’s crazy that you can’t hit children. Absolutely ludicrous! Back in my day, you could beat your children, and everyone else minded their own business. What happens in the home stays in the home is what we said. It was a simpler time. We ran a tight ship and the children were better off for it.

It’s a known fact that there hasn’t been a single bad person born before 1990. Not a single one. They knew discipline. It’s only these snowflakes now that have no respect. Bring back capital punishment! There are children with human rights floating about and we can’t have that!

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By *iobhan123Woman
over a year ago

Deal

As a victim of violent child "discipline ", I used that as a life lesson in how not to parent

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"It’s crazy that you can’t hit children. Absolutely ludicrous! Back in my day, you could beat your children, and everyone else minded their own business. What happens in the home stays in the home is what we said. It was a simpler time. We ran a tight ship and the children were better off for it.

It’s a known fact that there hasn’t been a single bad person born before 1990. Not a single one. They knew discipline. It’s only these snowflakes now that have no respect. Bring back capital punishment! There are children with human rights floating about and we can’t have that! "

Got that out of your system now Jamie?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s crazy that you can’t hit children. Absolutely ludicrous! Back in my day, you could beat your children, and everyone else minded their own business. What happens in the home stays in the home is what we said. It was a simpler time. We ran a tight ship and the children were better off for it.

It’s a known fact that there hasn’t been a single bad person born before 1990. Not a single one. They knew discipline. It’s only these snowflakes now that have no respect. Bring back capital punishment! There are children with human rights floating about and we can’t have that! "

Love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was hit as a child but the mentle abuse is what's done the must damage. Must of the time it was my so called mum. I don't hate her she isn't worth it. I've had no respect for my so called parents, I stopped all contact at 40 because my own kids didn't like how the so called cow spoke to me. I'm left with a life time of anxiety. I've never spent time with them since I was 16 as I left home.

We have never smacked our 2 they are lovely well adjusted adults and parents, we love having holidays together even now they are 32 and 28. Our Granddaughters never get hit either. When all is said and done children are gifts to love and guide through life's ups and downs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's not that much different to training an animal. I mean professional trainers who use their chains for the good of the animal.I worked with animals for many years & always found the carrot was more effective than the stick "
do you put the carrot up your ass then get the horse to eat it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id never smack a child

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw an example of this this morning.

I got a takeaway coffee, and sat outside on a bench. There was a mum, dad, 3(ish) year old and a dog. The kid was sat close to dad, sharing some chips. The kid sneakily licked some ketchup off the chip box and the dad hit him in the chest, the impact less because he caught the box with his hand first. Then Dad grabbed the child's coat front, dragged him up and nose to nose with him and started talking menacingly in the child's face. Mum looked on. When he was done he let go, turned his back and the child burst into silent sobs.

Over ketchup. That man has anger issues and the law is to protect children like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw an example of this this morning.

I got a takeaway coffee, and sat outside on a bench. There was a mum, dad, 3(ish) year old and a dog. The kid was sat close to dad, sharing some chips. The kid sneakily licked some ketchup off the chip box and the dad hit him in the chest, the impact less because he caught the box with his hand first. Then Dad grabbed the child's coat front, dragged him up and nose to nose with him and started talking menacingly in the child's face. Mum looked on. When he was done he let go, turned his back and the child burst into silent sobs.

Over ketchup. That man has anger issues and the law is to protect children like that. "
fully agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once I saw a guy do something similar to his kid. Another random guy knocked him out cold. Karma

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw an example of this this morning.

I got a takeaway coffee, and sat outside on a bench. There was a mum, dad, 3(ish) year old and a dog. The kid was sat close to dad, sharing some chips. The kid sneakily licked some ketchup off the chip box and the dad hit him in the chest, the impact less because he caught the box with his hand first. Then Dad grabbed the child's coat front, dragged him up and nose to nose with him and started talking menacingly in the child's face. Mum looked on. When he was done he let go, turned his back and the child burst into silent sobs.

Over ketchup. That man has anger issues and the law is to protect children like that. "

Did you report it?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I am not for one or the other but some on here confusing a gentle smack with a good hiding

I think you're showing yourself up if you think "a good hiding" is appropriate language. "

I was given 'a good hiding' as a child. It was so much more than a smack!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once I saw a guy do something similar to his kid. Another random guy knocked him out cold. Karma"

Did the kid learn that violence solved the issue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once I saw a guy do something similar to his kid. Another random guy knocked him out cold. Karma

Did the kid learn that violence solved the issue?"
who knows but I bet he never hit the kid in public again. Sadly I don't know what goes on behind closed doors

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I saw an example of this this morning.

I got a takeaway coffee, and sat outside on a bench. There was a mum, dad, 3(ish) year old and a dog. The kid was sat close to dad, sharing some chips. The kid sneakily licked some ketchup off the chip box and the dad hit him in the chest, the impact less because he caught the box with his hand first. Then Dad grabbed the child's coat front, dragged him up and nose to nose with him and started talking menacingly in the child's face. Mum looked on. When he was done he let go, turned his back and the child burst into silent sobs.

Over ketchup. That man has anger issues and the law is to protect children like that. "

And you did.... ?

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 08/11/20 17:00:50]

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Once I saw a guy do something similar to his kid. Another random guy knocked him out cold. Karma

Did the kid learn that violence solved the issue?who knows but I bet he never hit the kid in public again. Sadly I don't know what goes on behind closed doors"

See ironically that suggests violence and smacking may work

My hunch is that vile human will indeed abuse his child or children in public again ????

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Whilst showing displine is good it shouldnt be physical, but rather a gentle one or a clip behind the ear.

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By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"I saw an example of this this morning.

I got a takeaway coffee, and sat outside on a bench. There was a mum, dad, 3(ish) year old and a dog. The kid was sat close to dad, sharing some chips. The kid sneakily licked some ketchup off the chip box and the dad hit him in the chest, the impact less because he caught the box with his hand first. Then Dad grabbed the child's coat front, dragged him up and nose to nose with him and started talking menacingly in the child's face. Mum looked on. When he was done he let go, turned his back and the child burst into silent sobs.

Over ketchup. That man has anger issues and the law is to protect children like that. "

And you did.... ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/11/20 17:07:41]

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