FabSwingers.com forum: Regrets

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I read an article about women who regret having children.

They loved them but if they could have their time again they would have made different choices.

What is your biggest regret and would you ever admit that you regret having children?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My biggest regret is not choosing a career path that I love.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Never have regrets they are futile! And every decision made good and bad has made me the person I am today! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/11/20 10:57:53]

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't have any serious regrets about choices I've made. I do wish things could be different, but I've done my best.

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By *essica FlabbitWoman
over a year ago

west midlands/shropshire

The only regret is not shagging my ex boss's brother.

But I was 17 and he intimidated me.. Ggrrrr

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never have regrets they are futile! And every decision made good and bad has made me the person I am today! X"

Of course regrets are pointless.

What's done is done - but it doesn't mean you don't feel it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my children dearly. Given my time again I wouldn’t have them under the same set of circumstances no. If my life and relationships were different it would change that. It’s just me and them...neither set of grandparents have been interested or help out. It restricts many things even as simple as ability to work..They haven’t had the best of me, I’m the best mum now that I’ve ever been.Simply they come first they never chose this...I did. They are the most amazing humans in the world but. As I say different circumstances I wouldn’t change a thing...but their life and mine isn’t what I’d want for them or me!

Regrets...biggest not being true to me, and who I am.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't have any serious regrets about choices I've made. I do wish things could be different, but I've done my best."

You're still young lovely - there's time to change things x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My regret is that I never discovered fab many years earlier than I actually did x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My biggest regret is not choosing a career path that I love.

How would you know you'd love it (or not) till you tried it though....

I've been working 35 years in various roles, can't say I've found one I love yet

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I don't have any serious regrets about choices I've made. I do wish things could be different, but I've done my best.

You're still young lovely - there's time to change things x"

Every journey is a series of single steps. It's about the wisdom to decide, the strength, courage, and the resilience to act on it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love my children dearly. Given my time again I wouldn’t have them under the same set of circumstances no. If my life and relationships were different it would change that. It’s just me and them...neither set of grandparents have been interested or help out. It restricts many things even as simple as ability to work..They haven’t had the best of me, I’m the best mum now that I’ve ever been.Simply they come first they never chose this...I did. They are the most amazing humans in the world but. As I say different circumstances I wouldn’t change a thing...but their life and mine isn’t what I’d want for them or me!

Regrets...biggest not being true to me, and who I am."

That sounds rough

But it sounds to me that you are completely honest with yourself which is a brilliant first step to changing your circumstances x

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I do not regret having my children but wished i could have afforded to give up work when they were young so as to spend more time with them. I must admit i sometimes do wonder if i had got a dog first would i have had children at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My biggest regret is not choosing a career path that I love.

How would you know you'd love it (or not) till you tried it though....

I've been working 35 years in various roles, can't say I've found one I love yet

True.

I guess it's more that I wished I was passionate about something.

Rather than working for someone else for a paycheck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My regret is that I never discovered fab many years earlier than I actually did x"

Me too!

This would have changed my life in my early 30's when I was in a miserable sexless relationship.

But it didn't exist then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I do not regret having my children but wished i could have afforded to give up work when they were young so as to spend more time with them. I must admit i sometimes do wonder if i had got a dog first would i have had children at all. "

I think some people have children because that's what they're supposed to do x

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

My only regret is not signing up to nine years in the RAF at seventeen to work in a weapons/radar whatever technical area.

A friend did radar with the Army had a good fifteen years & hasn't stopped travelling the world installing non military radar systems in the twenty or so years he’s been out.

But then everything else that happened good or bad would not have including meeting H & having kids.

So not really a regret more a “What If?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My biggest regret is not choosing a career path that I love.

How would you know you'd love it (or not) till you tried it though....

I've been working 35 years in various roles, can't say I've found one I love yet

True.

I guess it's more that I wished I was passionate about something.

Rather than working for someone else for a paycheck."

Yeah I get that point of view

I'm passionate about lots of things, none of them are work related though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One but I wouldn’t have had my children if it wasn’t for my ex. Though I do wish they hadn’t been born with their disabilities, stole so much of their childhood with operations and treatments. The rest has made me the person I am x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god. There’s loads of things I would have done differently if I had the time again.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I think some people have children because that's what they're supposed to do x"

Yes i agree. Same as get married although that is something i refused to do.

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

I don’t have any regrets just wish some things went differently

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My only regret is not signing up to nine years in the RAF at seventeen to work in a weapons/radar whatever technical area.

A friend did radar with the Army had a good fifteen years & hasn't stopped travelling the world installing non military radar systems in the twenty or so years he’s been out.

But then everything else that happened good or bad would not have including meeting H & having kids.

So not really a regret more a “What If?”

Yes - I have several what ifs too.

They are pointless.

It sounds like you made the right choices though

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

I've never regretted not having children. I knew from a young age that I never wanted them.

I do regret a stupid amount of time I wasted in my 30's to 40's with a married man. Silly girl that I am x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't regret having children but there are times I did wonder how much easier life would have been if we hadn't. I think if people knew the reality of it there would be far fewer children born

Apart from that there are loads of things I wish I hadn't done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The biggest regrets I have is not being able to say goodbye to the people I loved before I lost them especially my dad. It wasn't actually my fault, I couldn't get to any of them in time but it still hurts like hell.

As for my children, no I could never regret them even if their father can be a complete c**t sometimes I don't regret having them with him or my relationship.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

No regrets whatsoever...but, had I known at the time what I know now I would probably have made some different decisions...but then I wouldn't be where I am now with some absolutely amazing people in my life. Besides, they were the right decisions at the time.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

The only regret I have regarding my children is that there isn’t a lot out there for them, it was so different when I was their age and it’s so hard for them to get a good footing in life, I never regret having them, I love them more than anything or anyone that has ever been in my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im 36 now and am at the stage i want kids, so from a flip point of view do i regret not having them?

I always focused on career,wanted to travel the world and have the material things i dreamed of as a child. But now im ready ive said if its not happened by the age of 38 im going to go down the adoption route...

do i regret NOT having?

No as the memories & experiences ive had are amazing.. but im ready to make new memories and share experiences as a father.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No regrets whatsoever...but, had I known at the time what I know now I would probably have made some different decisions...but then I wouldn't be where I am now with some absolutely amazing people in my life. Besides, they were the right decisions at the time."

That is put very well indeed.

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By *adHatter_RestrainedAliceCouple
over a year ago

In The Hills

Definitely this for me

Alice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had my daughter at 35 she was the best mistake I ever made !!! But wouldn't change that mistake for the world . I regret not having her years earlier so I could have more time with her. But my biggest regret is her daddy I wasted 11 years on him before I had her & 2 after. But I wouldn't have her if it wasn't for him so for that I will be eternally grateful to him. I also regret some ex boyfriends & some choices I made in my life but they've made me who I am today .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't regret having children but there are times I did wonder how much easier life would have been if we hadn't. I think if people knew the reality of it there would be far fewer children born

Apart from that there are loads of things I wish I hadn't done. "

I agree that if people knew the reality of having children there would be a lot more room on the planet!

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By *ed1boxMan
over a year ago

canary wharf

I've had a few but then again, too few to mention

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By *stroboy78Man
over a year ago

Abergavenny

Way too many regrets to list for me. Spent to much time not saying what I should have when I had the opportunity and spent to much time on things that didn't matter.

Also not having children is a huge regret. Before anyone says I'm a guy, I'm also 42 and to have a child now would not really be fair on them, plus I would need a significant other lol.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

[Removed by poster at 04/11/20 14:27:11]

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"Im 36 now and am at the stage i want kids, so from a flip point of view do i regret not having them?

do i regret NOT having?

No as the memories & experiences ive had are amazing.. but im ready to make new memories and share experiences as a father.

I didn’t want kids earlier due to doing a pretty dangerous job so I married someone who was career minded. Didn’t work out for other reasons & so I ended up no longer doing that job & having kids very late in my life with H.

Saddest part to me has been that due to ill health our children from nine & five have had no grandparents to dote on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I've always said... "Never regret what you've done. Learn from them instead of regret them. Just regret the things you have had the opportunity to do but never did"

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Hard one for me. Having my kids left me physically disabled and damaged. I had my son when I was 16 and only had the resulting gynae injury repaired in August this year. My pregnancy with my daughter has resulted in me using a wheelchair.

I can't really say on here how I feel at times, because........ Mr KC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to live with regrets. But I am a child who’s mother openly admit that they regret having me...

If you do regret having children. Please, please don’t tell them unless you’re prepared to crush their soul. It’s something that will stick with them for life end they will never recover from that knowledge.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"The biggest regrets I have is not being able to say goodbye to the people I loved before I lost them especially my dad. It wasn't actually my fault, I couldn't get to any of them in time but it still hurts like hell.

As for my children, no I could never regret them even if their father can be a complete c**t sometimes I don't regret having them with him or my relationship. "

That really hurts

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hard one for me. Having my kids left me physically disabled and damaged. I had my son when I was 16 and only had the resulting gynae injury repaired in August this year. My pregnancy with my daughter has resulted in me using a wheelchair.

I can't really say on here how I feel at times, because........ Mr KC

Hugs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Way too many regrets to list for me. Spent to much time not saying what I should have when I had the opportunity and spent to much time on things that didn't matter.

Also not having children is a huge regret. Before anyone says I'm a guy, I'm also 42 and to have a child now would not really be fair on them, plus I would need a significant other lol."

I think a lot of men aren't ready for children when they're young.

But then when is it too late?

My parents were over 40 when they had me and they both passed away years ago.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I try not to live with regrets. But I am a child who’s mother openly admit that they regret having me...

She should never have said that to you.

I think a lot of people feel it but they would never say it outloud.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I can't really say on here how I feel at times, because........ Mr KC

Hugs x"

Thanks. He's just WhatsApp'd me and told me to be honest, but I can't cry at work again, so the cork goes back on and that genie goes back in the bottle.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I try not to live with regrets. But I am a child who’s mother openly admit that they regret having me...

I'm so sorry.

My parents battled infertility to have children. I'm the eldest.

They wanted children. But... not me. My siblings are great.

I paper over it best I can. I have neither the headspace nor the strength to open that wound.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I definitely regret getting married.

I regret having children in a way. I live them dearly but ultimately I think we had children for us, not for them. I fear for their future in this world.

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By *stroboy78Man
over a year ago

Abergavenny

Well this turned out to be an emotional thread. Fml some of the things on here are heartbreaking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I regret not having them. My life would be radically different if I knew in my 20s what I know now.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"If you do regret having children. Please, please don’t tell them unless you’re prepared to crush their soul. It’s something that will stick with them for life end they will never recover from that knowledge. "

This. Not myself but a friend of mine, and I genuinely believe it affected them on a fundamental level.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I definitely regret getting married.

I regret having children in a way. I live them dearly but ultimately I think we had children for us, not for them. I fear for their future in this world. "

So many people have children for the wrong reasons.

Were you young when you got married?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I regret not having them. My life would be radically different if I knew in my 20s what I know now. "

Why do you regret not having them - what do you know now?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Not a regret as such but if I could amend something, I would have had more kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regret not getting my life together earlier, guessing this is pretty common

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I regret not being more social in school. I'm jealous of people who have childhood friends whereas I have none

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By *isslushWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"I read an article about women who regret having children.

They loved them but if they could have their time again they would have made different choices.

What is your biggest regret and would you ever admit that you regret having children?"
not studying harder at college

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are many things I regret.

That said. If I hadn't made the choices I did, I wouldnt be in the place I am now, With the life and the friends. I also wouldn't have met my better half the luscious Lu. So all things considered I can live with a few regrets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have regrets, but you can't put the clocks back, you just have to keep going, and learn from your mistakes. The opera is not over till the fat lady sings.

not that I have any problem with fat ladies as I think they are sexy. Momma cass of the mommas and pappas was incredible and the voice of a angel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At 22 I met my future ex wife who was older than I, had 2 sons and was sterilised. I decided to stay with her and not have kids of my own.

20 years later and we are no longer together but I have never regretted that decision. The biggest problems the world faces are all brought about by a rapidly growing population - I'd rather not add to that. Plus, when a vegan tries telling me the single biggest thing I can do to reduce my carbon footprint is to stop eating meat I can always point out that my lack of children trumps their lack of steak

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"At 22 I met my future ex wife who was older than I, had 2 sons and was sterilised. I decided to stay with her and not have kids of my own.

I love that comeback

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

Sending hugs and love

I can't really say on here how I feel at times, because........ Mr KC

Hugs x

Thanks. He's just WhatsApp'd me and told me to be honest, but I can't cry at work again, so the cork goes back on and that genie goes back in the bottle."

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

The only regret I have is selling my house when we moved in with my mum due to her poor health and coming off the property ladder. If I’d have taken my time and taken financial advice I could have maybe rented it out or something But I didn’t think of the long term consequences and just rushed ahead.

I will never regret having my children. I had to fight to have my second as the hospital severely pressured me to consider aborting him due to suspected medical issues (and as it turns out, they were wrong).

Both my children are live wires, my youngest has ASD and is VERY much a handful in a glorious way, but they are both my sunshine. They are so, so worth every sleepless night, every tear and every bit of worry and self doubt that having them has caused over the years. They were a gift and my life is better for knowing them and loving them.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I don't really believe in regrets or dwelling on the past - I'm nore a learn from your mishaps type.

I had my son when I was far too young but I would never change it - he has made me who I am! And also the fact I can get him to stop in at the shop for wine now is a huge bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never regret having my kids. My husband died a few years ago and he lived on in our beautiful children. They’re a part of us both so in a way a pet of him is still here.

Looking back, I wish I could’ve met him sooner so I could’ve loved him longer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never regret having my kids. My husband died a few years ago and he lived on in our beautiful children. They’re a part of us both so in a way a pet of him is still here.

Looking back, I wish I could’ve met him sooner so I could’ve loved him longer

*lives on

*part

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I never regret having my kids. My husband died a few years ago and he lived on in our beautiful children. They’re a part of us both so in a way a pet of him is still here.

Looking back, I wish I could’ve met him sooner so I could’ve loved him longer

*lives on

*part"

This is beautiful xx

One of my grandmothers died very young. Tragically young. My sister doesn't remember her at all.

She's got some of her appearance and mannerisms. It's remarkable and kind of poignant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plenty of regrets.

Not being careful with money and spending beyond my means many times and am now literally paying the price.

Not making some business decisions I should have done, which would have saved me from additional financial burden now.

Not choosing a particular educational option that could have put me on a path to a career which I’d have a personal interest in, rather than one I do because it’s what I’ve always done and am too experienced in to justify a jump elsewhere and too dependent on the income to take a drop.

Not getting out of some relationships sooner, but then I guess most of us can say that.

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

I also regret not going down a better career path

All I ever wanted was to be a singer and that happened for 25 years but really wish I could have done something better

A doctor or a nurse perhaps

Never regretted having my son

How can people regret having their kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never regret having my kids. My husband died a few years ago and he lived on in our beautiful children. They’re a part of us both so in a way a pet of him is still here.

Looking back, I wish I could’ve met him sooner so I could’ve loved him longer

*lives on

*part

This is beautiful xx

One of my grandmothers died very young. Tragically young. My sister doesn't remember her at all.

She's got some of her appearance and mannerisms. It's remarkable and kind of poignant."

That’s so sad but lovely she has her mannerisms and appearance.

My daughter pulls similar faces that my husband used to. Makes me smile. Oh and my son is turning into a mini me of him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are many things I regret.

Totally agree my love

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I never regret having my kids. My husband died a few years ago and he lived on in our beautiful children. They’re a part of us both so in a way a pet of him is still here.

Looking back, I wish I could’ve met him sooner so I could’ve loved him longer

*lives on

*part

This is beautiful xx

One of my grandmothers died very young. Tragically young. My sister doesn't remember her at all.

She's got some of her appearance and mannerisms. It's remarkable and kind of poignant.

That’s so sad but lovely she has her mannerisms and appearance.

My daughter pulls similar faces that my husband used to. Makes me smile. Oh and my son is turning into a mini me of him

x "

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"I never regret having my kids. My husband died a few years ago and he lived on in our beautiful children. They’re a part of us both so in a way a pet of him is still here.

Looking back, I wish I could’ve met him sooner so I could’ve loved him longer

Post of the day right there. Very touching

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I also regret not going down a better career path

All I ever wanted was to be a singer and that happened for 25 years but really wish I could have done something better

A doctor or a nurse perhaps

Never regretted having my son

How can people regret having their kids"

I don't know if I regret having my daughter. I mourn the able bodied life I had before. As a consequence of the pregnancy, I'll never run, play football, ride a bike, climb a mountain or a zillion other things with her. Are there days I wish I'd not been pregnant a second time? Yes definitely. Do I regret having her? I honestly can't answer that. Do I love her? Absolutely, 100%.

I've never once regretted having my son at 16, despite the myriad challenges it posed. Losing my independence and mobility has been an entirely different ball game though.

Until you've walked a mile in a (wo)man's shoes or indeed pushed a mile or two in his/her wheelchair........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t tend to have regrets, I’ve acted on most things and follow my gut. However if I HAD to pick one - it might be not having kids as I’m now a bit older and times running out, I still can but the hassle of finding someone/going through process to get there - I think I’ll run out of time

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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago

warwickshire

Could I have done things differently in my life....yes. But the decisions I made got me to where I am today and with the friends I have.Everything that has happened has made me the person I am now and I am happy with that and looking forward to hopefully starting university in september

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I don't regret my kid, no.

I regret who I had her with but she wouldn't be who she is if she wasn't half me and half him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't regret my kid, no.

I regret who I had her with but she wouldn't be who she is if she wasn't half me and half him.

Nowt wrong with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regrets I've had a few far to many to mention.....

I've learnt not to look back and never go back!!

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By *ookingfun82Man
over a year ago

Enniskillen

Being too reserved to take chances and new experiences in life, not finding out about fab 15 years ago and and finding people as sexually open minded and being able to explore and experience before commitments took over.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"I definitely regret getting married.

I regret having children in a way. I live them dearly but ultimately I think we had children for us, not for them. I fear for their future in this world.

So many people have children for the wrong reasons.

Were you young when you got married?

Not really. I was in my early 30s. I just did what appeared to be the done thing - get married, buy a house, start a family, live happily ever after... except we didn't do the last one.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm intentionally childless and I have no major regrets in my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to have had a child. I am 53,and would consider having one with someone in the same boat. I am disease free and yes like putting dresses on, but I am above average intelligence and musical. You can live in hope

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By *ich GuyMan
over a year ago

lichfield

I don’t regret having my kids at all. My main regrets was not going to uni when I had the chance and not travelling while I was younger.

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By *ornyone30Man
over a year ago

ABERDEEN

I dont regret having kids but i do regret having them as late as i did. I feel frustration that by the time they are up and away i will be in my 60s and the effects they have had on the relationship with my wife. I think this shows me as being selfish as i miss my pre-kid life. But hey ho it is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my kids and I was desperate for them after being told I couldn't conceive. However, it hasn't been easy and I do miss my previous life as selfish as it sounds. My husband isn't the best partner and I play mum, dad, carer, house slave while trying to work full time. Some days I long for just some peace and the ability to be me for a short-time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No regrets.. Things that happened in my life brought me to this exact point. If I had my time gain and I knew the future, I'd take a few short cuts and get to this point 20 years ago.

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By *hropsGuy69Man
over a year ago

telford

I never ever ever ever would say I regret having my children , having them with the ex wife though - now there’s a different story all together ha ha

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By *irewolffMan
over a year ago

Dublin

My regret is taking my then bf back after a row 1month after dating him. But then I wouldnt have my kids.

18yrs with him & he is an evil twisted SOAB. Thats my biggest regret.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regrets, only one. Our first child being stillborn at full term.

Beyond that there is no point in regretting what might have been. We never know how different our lives would be if instead of regret we had followed a different path, for better or worse.

What I cannot change we have to learn to accept. Perhaps that's

what makes us who we are.

The past cannot be changed, yet we can all change our futures....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My biggest regret is not learning to drive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no regrets. There is no point in regretting anything as if you had made a different decision at the time doesn't mean your life would be any better than it is today - it might be worse. And at the time the desicion I made was the right one for me at that moment.

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By *ippy68Man
over a year ago

Weymouth

"I read an article about women who regret having children.

They loved them but if they could have their time again they would have made different choices.

What is your biggest regret and would you ever admit that you regret having children?"

I have so many regrets however they are way too complicated to discuss here in detail however one huge regret is setting out to meet someone with a child because I can’t have my own and then the complete disappointment of bringing her up and having everything I’ve done for her thrown in my face, her complete selfish attitude, her rudeness and acting like she’s been dragged up when she hasn’t, her attention seeking and inability to listen to advice. I could go on but there is no point. Her biological father got off lightly to be honest and had a lucky escape.

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