FabSwingers.com forum: Some girls need a lot of lovin' and some girls don't

By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

(Props to Miss Swing for pushing me over the edge to post this :D)

So I'm just finishing watching the latest Episode of Jim Jefferies I Don't Know About That on Youtube. All about Orgasms. And so they have an expert on talking about clitoral hoods and squirting and all.

And of course she knows a good amount about what she's talking about, but at the very same time she's saying how different womens (and mens) needs are, she STILL can't help stating that ALL women need lots of foreplay, ALL women take between 20 and 40 minutes to reach orgasm.

I've known women that've taken 20 minutes plus of solid oral to come, but I've known others take less than 3 on a regular basis.

Whilst there's obviously an average, a typical, all these "hey kids, lets' talk about our bodies!" educators still seem to give some view that there's an official "normal", no matter how open try to project that they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There might be an average but there isn't really a normal I wouldn't think. It's more about finding out what works for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not normal, I don't like oral. I rarely have an orgasm during sex but on my own can do it within 3 minutes.

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By *anana JoeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Nothing wrong with people being needy at all if someone wants some attention and input they should go for it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Good post!

Christ it's annoying being put into this idea of "normal" for women.

Fortunately for me it's only annoying. There are bigger problems. But we need to do better.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

When I allow messages, I'm often told what I like and how people will blow my mind.

Oh hello stranger. You think all women are the same and you know my body and needs better than I do!

Ok. Goodbye.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

Definitely people get to know you better.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

What's the spilt when it comes to him knowing how to work your body vs you *knowing* each other?

For me, in the show, Dr Emily was saying "oh, you mustn't go straight for the clitoris, you need to tease around the edge, warm her up. Man I wish my wife would let me. If I'm not super firm on the button from the very start I'll get a knee to the face!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yep. I read an article once written by a sexual educator which said that only older men like crotchless knickers. It kind of made me think the rest of what they wrote wasn't valid too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I allow messages, I'm often told what I like and how people will blow my mind.

Oh hello stranger. You think all women are the same and you know my body and needs better than I do!

Ok. Goodbye."

I love it when strange men tell me how to think and be. They know what's best for me. I'm just a woman, I have no idea.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When I allow messages, I'm often told what I like and how people will blow my mind.

Oh hello stranger. You think all women are the same and you know my body and needs better than I do!

Ok. Goodbye.

I love it when strange men tell me how to think and be. They know what's best for me. I'm just a woman, I have no idea. "

I deliberately avoided gender in my statement

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

Definitely people get to know you better."

Yep, with one of my friends we have almost a SOP document for the first 2 minute orgasm. It's taken a while to work out the exact number of bum squeezes etc.

;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I allow messages, I'm often told what I like and how people will blow my mind.

Oh hello stranger. You think all women are the same and you know my body and needs better than I do!

Ok. Goodbye."

This is a bug bearer of mine - sometimes we’ve been chatting for a bit and then boom - “I’m gunna make you squirt so hard make you cum multiple times yeah”

Are you ? Aye?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When I allow messages, I'm often told what I like and how people will blow my mind.

Oh hello stranger. You think all women are the same and you know my body and needs better than I do!

Ok. Goodbye.

This is a bug bearer of mine - sometimes we’ve been chatting for a bit and then boom - “I’m gunna make you squirt so hard make you cum multiple times yeah”

Are you ? Aye? "

I had one once (a long time ago and this is not verbatim) which was like, you'll be so excited by the sight of my glorious member that I'll drown in your squirt.

Oooo-kaaay.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

Definitely people get to know you better.

Yep, with one of my friends we have almost a SOP document for the first 2 minute orgasm. It's taken a while to work out the exact number of bum squeezes etc.

;-)"

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think there are far too many variables to be able to determine anything resembling a "normal" - partner, how well they know your body, technique, mood, situation to name a few.

I can vary from not being able to climax at all (generally with a new partner), to easily under 2 minutes every time with a certain person who knows exactly how I like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I allow messages, I'm often told what I like and how people will blow my mind.

Oh hello stranger. You think all women are the same and you know my body and needs better than I do!

Ok. Goodbye.

This is a bug bearer of mine - sometimes we’ve been chatting for a bit and then boom - “I’m gunna make you squirt so hard make you cum multiple times yeah”

Are you ? Aye?

I had one once (a long time ago and this is not verbatim) which was like, you'll be so excited by the sight of my glorious member that I'll drown in your squirt.

Oooo-kaaay."

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Not only does it vary from partner to partner but can be situational with the same partner - sometimes circumstance, surroundings, need in a given moment and more come into play regardless of gender.

Yes you get to know which buttons to press with a particular person over time, but sometimes it's about knowing the right combination of buttons for a given moment, and those buttons including "listening" to a partner both aurally and by sensing their reactions.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I mean it's bonkers even if you take the extra person out. I know how my body works and even I don't have a narrow average range. It's not like tinkering with a car with a Haynes manual

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When I allow messages, I'm often told what I like and how people will blow my mind.

Oh hello stranger. You think all women are the same and you know my body and needs better than I do!

Ok. Goodbye.

This is a bug bearer of mine - sometimes we’ve been chatting for a bit and then boom - “I’m gunna make you squirt so hard make you cum multiple times yeah”

Are you ? Aye?

I had one once (a long time ago and this is not verbatim) which was like, you'll be so excited by the sight of my glorious member that I'll drown in your squirt.

Oooo-kaaay.

Read as "has never had sex and doesn't realise porn isn't a documentary"

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Personally I just need to relax, and anyone who can make me cum more than once... congratulations you're in the top 95% of sexual performance, have a cookie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I just need to relax, and anyone who can make me cum more than once... congratulations you're in the top 95% of sexual performance, have a cookie."

Same. I am a bit jealous of all the woman who cum loads during sex. I’ve never actually had a woman tell me they’ve cum loads but guys telling me how many orgasms they’ve given to other woman. I feel like a freak!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Personally I just need to relax, and anyone who can make me cum more than once... congratulations you're in the top 95% of sexual performance, have a cookie.

Oh, sorry, worded badly.

If I cum less than ten times during sex it's a bad lay and they're not getting a repeat

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

And oral only gives me soft orgasms. It's better than having a wank but generally I can't be arsed.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

To be fair I am fairly lucky that I can cum reasonably quickly and repeatedly in the right circumstances....

But that is no reason to spend less than 20mins down there - Please and thank you

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"To be fair I am fairly lucky that I can cum reasonably quickly and repeatedly in the right circumstances....

But that is no reason to spend less than 20mins down there - Please and thank you

I'll agree on the first and disagree on the second

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women have orgasms

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Women have orgasms

I was told at school that this was an evil liberal media myth.

I'm not joking.

I actually cried when I came for the first time. After I worked out wtf had happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women have orgasms

I was told at school that this was an evil liberal media myth.

I'm not joking.

I actually cried when I came for the first time. After I worked out wtf had happened."

The crying in my company is not due to orgasms

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Women have orgasms

I was told at school that this was an evil liberal media myth.

I'm not joking.

I actually cried when I came for the first time. After I worked out wtf had happened.

The crying in my company is not due to orgasms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair I am fairly lucky that I can cum reasonably quickly and repeatedly in the right circumstances....

But that is no reason to spend less than 20mins down there - Please and thank you

I really wish I could - I wonder if I’m having mini ones or something....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not only does it vary from partner to partner but can be situational with the same partner - sometimes circumstance, surroundings, need in a given moment and more come into play regardless of gender.

Usually I'm a really crap shag but get me in the right mood and I'm really quite lukewarm.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

There's definitely a correlation between people who tell you how you'll react to sex and them being bad.

Had one person promote themselves as god's gift to oral, expert on anatomy etc, for literally months. I'd never see oral the same again, my mind would be blown, etc.

Sex was good. Oral was distinctly below average.

Shrug. Listen to us, don't tell us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's definitely a correlation between people who tell you how you'll react to sex and them being bad.

Had one person promote themselves as god's gift to oral, expert on anatomy etc, for literally months. I'd never see oral the same again, my mind would be blown, etc.

Sex was good. Oral was distinctly below average.

Shrug. Listen to us, don't tell us."

Arghhhhh! That makes me cringe!!! Stop telling us what you’re gonna do and how it’s gonna make us feel.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"There's definitely a correlation between people who tell you how you'll react to sex and them being bad.

Had one person promote themselves as god's gift to oral, expert on anatomy etc, for literally months. I'd never see oral the same again, my mind would be blown, etc.

Sex was good. Oral was distinctly below average.

Shrug. Listen to us, don't tell us.

Arghhhhh! That makes me cringe!!! Stop telling us what you’re gonna do and how it’s gonna make us feel. "

So fucking much.

I know my body. I'm surprised sometimes, but never ever by people who tell me they know more than me about myself.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

And I think... our experiences with our bodies are all so different. Discovering ourselves sexually can be a challenge. And we get all these messages about how we should feel and it's confusing.

No fuck you. It's my body and if you need an ego boost thinking you're god's gift, skip the formula and listen to us. You might get it right and we might *both* enjoy the experience

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it

And that's what gets results

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Good sex isn't a one way street nor is it about one person - it's about *all* concerned and involved finding sexual compatibility, and part of that is the ability to communicate (meaning speaking, listening *and* sensing) and finding what works for each other - it really is that simple and when you find it there's nothing better.

There's nothing worse though than a situation where one person thinks they know what they're doing and the buttons to press are universal, or conversely than someone who simply expects a partner to somehow know what to do.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Good sex isn't a one way street nor is it about one person - it's about *all* concerned and involved finding sexual compatibility, and part of that is the ability to communicate (meaning speaking, listening *and* sensing) and finding what works for each other - it really is that simple and when you find it there's nothing better.

Absolutely. I get compliments.

My secret is, I listen. Such secret. So wow.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it

And that's what gets results

Bugger, stuck in my head now...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it

And that's what gets results

Bugger, stuck in my head now..."

Well at least you can visualise Bananarama for half of it

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

What's the spilt when it comes to him knowing how to work your body vs you *knowing* each other?

I suppose it was him learning the order in which he applied his skills to how my body responded to him, eg If I get super firm on the button from the start then I'm slapping his head away

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

What's the spilt when it comes to him knowing how to work your body vs you *knowing* each other?

I suppose it was him learning the order in which he applied his skills to how my body responded to him, eg If I get super firm on the button from the start then I'm slapping his head away

I'm all about the learning curve.

And communication to help each other.

It's great.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Everyone is different but also skills evolve over time as well, the first time I met with a certain friend took over 20 minutes of oral for me to cum, now he can have me squirming in under 5

What's the spilt when it comes to him knowing how to work your body vs you *knowing* each other?

I suppose it was him learning the order in which he applied his skills to how my body responded to him, eg If I get super firm on the button from the start then I'm slapping his head away

I'm all about the learning curve.

And communication to help each other.

It's great."

Yes. It makes good meets into great ones

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