FabSwingers.com forum: A new life

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have you ever just walked away from it all, left your home, job, family? Got in the car, caught the coach or train to destinations unknown? Was it just a consideration or did you actually go through with it? Time over would you change your decision?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not quite to that extreme but I have packed up and moved away on a whim so to speak. I've been tempted to do this a few times though and if I didnt have children, I probably would of done it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes..3 year ago...lived in my 4x4 for 2 years and a woodland...Im a backwoodsman so its not something I find hard. I left a lot and now own nothing and am so much happier

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I walked out of my home and family but kept my job. The children were grown up so understood my reasons but it still caused alot of upset and heartache. I have always said it was the hardest thing i ever did but also the best. I have never looked back as much happier now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have.

No regrets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I left the city and walked into the wilderness and now live a care free life living in a yurt, I have all I need here, a hammock, a tea pot, a guitar, three chords and the truth. I saw smoke signals earlier in the year that spoke of a global pandemic, this is yet to be confirmed by a follow up message, so I think it’s just heresay.

Sent by iPigeon

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

A few times, before I became a mum. Doesn't really solve anything though and "starting over" isn't all that easy either x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Big regrets about it but it is what it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I left the city and walked into the wilderness and now live a care free life living in a yurt, I have all I need here, a hammock, a tea pot, a guitar, three chords and the truth. I saw smoke signals earlier in the year that spoke of a global pandemic, this is yet to be confirmed by a follow up message, so I think it’s just heresay.

Sent by iPigeon "

You're an accountant aren't you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I walked out of my job as a very successful non of your businessman, I told my boss to stick it where the sun don’t shine, looking back I regret that cause I was self employed.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

Needing your mum at 16 is not selfish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I’m here for my kids till when ever they decide I’m uncool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sent by iPigeon

You're an accountant aren't you

Haha, would an accountant have the imagination to come out with that bollocks ?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, yes, oh god yes!

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Currently thinking about it. Want to cycle around the world. We shall see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One morning I woke and thought I’ve had enough of the rat race, so I readied the panniers on my Brompton and crossed hill and dale looking for a convenient location to start a new life, I ended up just getting some whole grains from Tesco Express and returned home, my wife said where you been, I said don’t ask.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"No. I’m here for my kids till when ever they decide I’m uncool "

I will always be there for my kids.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

Needing your mum at 16 is not selfish"

Even though im 32 with my own child.. i still feel hurt she did it.

Even now she still cant understand why i was hurt and calls me 'silly'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/3uAAWVr09SY

Mama never seemed to miss the finer things in life

If she did, she never did say so to daddy

She never wanted to be more than

A mother and a wife

If she did, she never did say so to daddy

The only thing that seemed

To be important in her life

Was to make a house a home and to make us happy

Mama never wanted anymore than what she had

If she did, she never did say so to daddy

He often left her alone,

She didn't mind the stayin' home

If she did, she never did say so to daddy

And she never missed

The flowers and the cards he never sent her

If she did, she never did say so to daddy

Being took for granted was a that thing she accepted

And she didn't need those things to make her happy

And she didn't seem to notice

That he didn't kiss and hold her

If she did, she never did say so to daddy

One morning we awoke just to find a note

Mama carefully wrote and left to daddy

And as he began to read it out ears could not beleive it

The words she had written there to daddy

She said, "the kids are old enough,

They don't need me very much

I've gone in search for love I need so badly

I have needed you so long

But I just can't keep holding on"

She never meant to come back home

If she did, she never did say so to daddy

Good-bye to daddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

Needing your mum at 16 is not selfish

Even though im 32 with my own child.. i still feel hurt she did it.

Even now she still cant understand why i was hurt and calls me 'silly'

You're not silly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you ever just walked away from it all, left your home, job, family? Got in the car, caught the coach or train to destinations unknown? Was it just a consideration or did you actually go through with it? Time over would you change your decision? "

Yes, though not to that extent. My ex left me, so I left my job, sold my house and moved to a different city. I'm happier now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought about it many of times over the years. Not sure I could do it to my kids!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We did as a family and the only regret is that we didn’t fuck off sooner.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

Needing your mum at 16 is not selfish

Even though im 32 with my own child.. i still feel hurt she did it.

Even now she still cant understand why i was hurt and calls me 'silly'

It wasn't you who was selfish and you aren't silly. I can confidently say that at 16 our daughter hated me, she still needed me though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

Thats heart breaking x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can run away 10,000 miles, but you can't run away from yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

Needing your mum at 16 is not selfish

Even though im 32 with my own child.. i still feel hurt she did it.

Even now she still cant understand why i was hurt and calls me 'silly'

It wasn't you who was selfish and you aren't silly. I can confidently say that at 16 our daughter hated me, she still needed me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can run away 10,000 miles, but you can't run away from yourself."

But you can run away from your past

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I left my husband and no it wasn't easy and I stayed for a lot longer than I should have because of the kids. But I couldn't cope with the increasing violence and a loss of self anymore. I was a shell and no use to my own kids. The kids especially my youngest is much happier now and I know they have a safe home to come back to

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

Needing your mum at 16 is not selfish

Even though im 32 with my own child.. i still feel hurt she did it.

Even now she still cant understand why i was hurt and calls me 'silly'

My heart breaks. I'm sorry

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"my mum did it.. i hated her for a good 6 months.. 16 years after the day she left she is still living her best life. Im happy for her that she took the plunge, just hurt me at the time.

i was 16 and selfishly needed my mum

Needing your mum at 16 is not selfish

Even though im 32 with my own child.. i still feel hurt she did it.

Even now she still cant understand why i was hurt and calls me 'silly'

It wasn't you who was selfish and you aren't silly. I can confidently say that at 16 our daughter hated me, she still needed me though.

We got through it and we're best of friends now

. The tales I could tell you

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I did. I was 23 and it was meant to be for a year, maybe a few. Became permanent.

Looking back at the girl I was, it was reckless, stupid, and I was not ready.

It's the best mistake I've ever made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

Actually sobbing..

The day my mum walked out (i was 16 and my brother 13) id watched my dad who was in the forces for 22 years and id call him a 'hard nut' he broke,, he was a broken man. He didnt eat, was a shadow of his former self.

I ended up getting a job as he was missing work and was starting to miss shifts and couldnt cover the mortgage so i was doing A Levels and working. I was cooking for my brother..

My dad ended up in hospital and eventually the house got repossessed.

I went to Devon for a long weekend and never returned. I felt like i abandoned my baby brother when he needed me..

Man i feel so much guilt.. I didnt think that part of my life bothered me, but im sobbing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

Actually sobbing..

I ended up getting a job as he was missing work and was starting to miss shifts and couldnt cover the mortgage so i was doing A Levels and working. I was cooking for my brother..

My dad ended up in hospital and eventually the house got repossessed.

I went to Devon for a long weekend and never returned. I felt like i abandoned my baby brother when he needed me..

Man i feel so much guilt.. I didnt think that part of my life bothered me, but im sobbing

something like this thread can catch you unawares. Have you got someone with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a clean break is good.

sell everything on ebay. only take with you what you can get into a backpack.

you'll soon find out who actually cares about you. if the police get involved you can tell them you do not wish to be contacted in any way and thats the end of the matter.

a new job in a new town, rebuild your life without anything holding you back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Have you got someone with you? "

Im gonna jump in the shower.. just cry it out.. clean pjs, smile and hug my daughter extra tight knowing id never leave her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

Thats heart breaking x"

It really is isn't it. My Brothers carried so much hurt which swallowed up so much of their lives, maybe being little they knew things I never did. Or maybe I looked at life through a different lense. All I knew was that hatred is wasteful, Dad was hurting and they were hating, it was chaotic for a little girl to be in the middle of.

But it taught me to be resilient, confident, independent and to be bloody minded, I had to be tough and kick them into shape, and they listened. My Dad admitted to me once that if it wasn't for me he would not be here, god being told that at 12 was hell! Knowing he didn't want to be here, yet here he was for me! How guilty did I feel for keeping him in a life, he didn't want but so grateful he was here because I needed him

I was close to my Mum, only time I distanced myself was when my son was born, I just couldn't think about leaving him ever.

We worked through it, she understood and took the pain I threw at her and we ended up closer.

It was later in life she hurt, well my philosophy is you deal with it and move on, past is where it stays, in the past. I didn't want her feeling guilty, we were ok we had good lives. Why put herself through it when it can't be changed.

Sorry for the derailment

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

" Have you got someone with you?

Im gonna jump in the shower.. just cry it out.. clean pjs, smile and hug my daughter extra tight knowing id never leave her.

x "

Good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

Actually sobbing..

I ended up getting a job as he was missing work and was starting to miss shifts and couldnt cover the mortgage so i was doing A Levels and working. I was cooking for my brother..

My dad ended up in hospital and eventually the house got repossessed.

I went to Devon for a long weekend and never returned. I felt like i abandoned my baby brother when he needed me..

Man i feel so much guilt.. I didnt think that part of my life bothered me, but im sobbing

Oh lovely, I'm so sorry. Really didn't mean to upset you

It is horrible isn't it, but you know, and it sounds so twee but I believe things happen for a reason.

Have you spoke to your Mum about how it made you feel? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, had a shit time. So loaded my car up with everything I own and fucked off to Turkey.

Dont regret it for a second.

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

About 17 years ago I lost my job, at the same time I got a job offer here in London. I left friends and family behind, tried to maintain a long-distance relationship with my partner and tried to be good in my new job. At least that one worked, I still have a good job with a good income. But the relationship broke down in the first year and due to the distance I see my family two or three times a year, at least there is Internet and Skype now,

but I dread the first Christmas in more than 20 years where I am probably not with my family due to travel restrictions.

Would I do it again? I don't know, probably not. The better job and more money is nice, but I miss the touch of a loved one and the cheerful joy of being with my family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

Thats heart breaking x

I was close to my Mum, only time I distanced myself was when my son was born, I just couldn't think about leaving him ever.

We worked through it, she understood and took the pain I threw at her and we ended up closer.

Sorry for the derailment

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have read every single post in this thread (and will continue to do so). I would love to thank every single person for sharing both the good and bad experiences. Fab is more than a fuck site, its a community, a place of friendship and a place of support. Love to you all x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just moved out! Lol

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Yep. The ex opened the door and I packed my family in my car and I drove away, my child wouldn't speak to me for 3 days and I'll never forgive the ex for that.

He confessed years later that he never thought I'd do it.... Manchild

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

"
I feel for you as almost identical to my story , mum walked out when I was 11 came home and there was a torn off piece of paper on the kitchen table saying ' I have gone '. Had no contact with her for 40 years and feel nothing for her .

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

" Have you got someone with you?

Im gonna jump in the shower.. just cry it out.. clean pjs, smile and hug my daughter extra tight knowing id never leave her.

x "

I'm not going to go into my family history, but I have an extremely similar story. I've been a marriage guidance counsellor to both parents since I was about 8 or 9, actively sought out for advice about how to handle their various dissolving marriages. My Dad married & divorced X3, my mum on her 3rd (but still not great) marriage. My mum made some spectacularly selfish decisions over mine and my brother's lives, culminating in her selfish actions requiring my brother to declare bankruptcy. She avoided it, obviously. She's now a grade A conspiracy theorist, right deep in with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walked out of a marriage and job on the same day. Took my kid with me. Never looked back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Mum did this. Walked on my Dad, Me and my Brothers.

Never told Dad she was going, just left him a note on the kitchen table, she had been having an affair and left with this guy, she went with him to Norwich. I was 9, my Brothers were 11 and 14.

I always maintained a good relationship with he, my Brothers not so.

Sad thing is my Dad would of taken her back at any point

Even sadder was that she admitted to me not long before she passed away that she never stopped loving him and would of gone back in a heartbeat

I feel for you as almost identical to my story , mum walked out when I was 11 came home and there was a torn off piece of paper on the kitchen table saying ' I have gone '. Had no contact with her for 40 years and feel nothing for her ."

That is so heartbreaking, so sorry that happened and how sad she missed out on 40 years of your life. I have sons and couldn't bear to miss a second

but it is her who will live with regret and guilt, and you have moved on

Sending you love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope people are all feeling ok this morning..

Its funny how a thread can prompt so much internal pain. group hug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope people are all feeling ok this morning..

Its funny how a thread can prompt so much internal pain. group hug

Hope you felt better too.

I found the thread useful.

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