FabSwingers.com forum: The hate behind the wink

By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

Recently I've come across many profiles adamantly asking that no winks be sent. I fail to understand the reasoning behind this and it would be great if someone could explain.

The way i see it, the wink feature is a blessing lol

Imagine you have a profile that generates much interest (which i do no have lol) and your getting hundreds of messages, most with unsolicited dick pics or one liners etc

Surely, you would rather people just winked at you and then you could decide, after reading their profile, weather you are interested or compatible etc

I dont understand why you would discourage people from using the wink, in my mind it should be the opposite, you should ask people to wink rather then waste their time and yours by sending stuff that 99% (maybe an exaggerated percentage but it makes my point) of the time is not to your taste.

Thoughts?

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

If people don't want winks, they don't want winks, their prerogative.

Don't overthink it, just respect it.

Personally I've had some good meets come off the back of winks.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Or, you get a lot of messages as well as a lot of winks, most people send both. At least a message stands a chance of saying why you rather than "you happen to be female within 50 miles", which is what it can feel like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a wink,great way to start chatting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep forgetting there's a 'wink' bit!!

Must go on a recce of the wink department!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I totally ignore winks. I've just looked and I have 2074 that must have built up over the last couple of years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because a wink doesn't light my inbox up. I don't get the same ego boost from winks because I have to click onto a different page to see them and I don't have time for that.

I want to see the number of unread messages constantly highlighted at the top of the page. Currently 3,296 unread. So many men want to fuck me, it's wonderful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The assumption Is that most men are interest in nearly all the women on here, a wink isn’t really telling women anything. But women often Use a wink and expect you to message in return, if you wink back they tend not to reply, blokes are expected to all the leg work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because a wink doesn't light my inbox up. I don't get the same ego boost from winks because I have to click onto a different page to see them and I don't have time for that.

I want to see the number of unread messages constantly highlighted at the top of the page. Currently 3,296 unread. So many men want to fuck me, it's wonderful.

So cynical

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

"Or, you get a lot of messages as well as a lot of winks, most people send both. At least a message stands a chance of saying why you rather than "you happen to be female within 50 miles", which is what it can feel like."

This is a good point actually maybe im ignorant to the issue on the receiving end of the wink lol

Sometimes i read a profile and become unsure if we match or not, so instead of wasting each parties time typing up a long questionnaire i just wink to let them decide, but if the receiver doesn't see it this way then i get lost in translation basically lol

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I don’t hate them, I just don’t check them. There’s very rarely anyone who winks at me that I’d be interested in so I don’t bother anymore.

Things are a bit different at the minute with the virus and I’m not meeting at all, but even when things were normal I only ever played at parties and never arranged meets through Fab so it’s irrelevant who’s winking really.

It states on my profile that I don’t check winks, so it’s a good way of filtering out people who haven’t been arsed to read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because a wink doesn't light my inbox up. I don't get the same ego boost from winks because I have to click onto a different page to see them and I don't have time for that.

I want to see the number of unread messages constantly highlighted at the top of the page. Currently 3,296 unread. So many men want to fuck me, it's wonderful.

So cynical

Eh no they want me for real.

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

"Because a wink doesn't light my inbox up. I don't get the same ego boost from winks because I have to click onto a different page to see them and I don't have time for that.

I want to see the number of unread messages constantly highlighted at the top of the page. Currently 3,296 unread. So many men want to fuck me, it's wonderful.

An incredible insight into the wonders of having a fire profile.

Solidarity to those with no new winks and no new messages!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind them and send some too but not sure why some get into a tizz about them, you don't have to look if you aren't interested in people who wink. Don't see why a fuss has to be made.

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

"I don’t hate them, I just don’t check them. There’s very rarely anyone who winks at me that I’d be interested in so I don’t bother anymore.

It states on my profile that I don’t check winks, so it’s a good way of filtering out people who haven’t been arsed to read it

Another decent point

All this insight will help me build a irresistible first contact method... hopefully lol

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We prefer a wink to a shit message.

Nobody has to look at their wink list.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'll gladly accept a wink if there's any going spare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We prefer a wink to a shit message.

Nobody has to look at their wink list. "

Winks usually lead to shit messages though. If I wink someone most of the time they then think that because I've shown interest they don't have to make any effort in reading my profile or making a good first impression. If they do message after a wink it's usually just "thanks for wink" and never leads anywhere.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

This is a good point actually maybe im ignorant to the issue on the receiving end of the wink lol

I’ve done that in the past too, aaant sure if I’d be there type. Met my current FWB because I winked him 2 years ago. So sometimes it does work.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"We prefer a wink to a shit message.

Nobody has to look at their wink list.

If it's that way round then yes, but I was thinking in terms of winks we receive compared with shit messages we receive. If we're interested in somebody who we think might be interested in us we'd write a proper message.

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

This is a good point actually maybe im ignorant to the issue on the receiving end of the wink lol

I’ve done that in the past too, aaant sure if I’d be there type. Met my current FWB because I winked him 2 years ago. So sometimes it does work. "

Happy to hear the feature works for some the way its intended. I think im getting the jist of the reasoning some have against it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Winks are underrated..it takes a second, you look at there profile and decide to wink back or not

A well thought out message personalised to the user after reading there profile takes longer than a second, you send it and it gets deleted straight away

Yes you'll say there not interested blah blah blah but it I've sent a well thought polite message id like a no thanks in return.

I know what I'd sooner send

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We simply don't use them, or look at them really.

We message if we're interested

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By *iseekingbiCouple
over a year ago

N ireland and West Midlands

We prefer winks. Its just a way of people knowing they are interested in each other.

If people say they don't want winks on their profile, that's fine, we won't wink at them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We simply don't use them, or look at them really.

We message if we're interested

This. I never look at them or send them either x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think winks are great, and I also think the site could make them a bit more prominent.

As a single male on fab, my inbox is easy to manage, and so is my tally of winks. I was very flattered to receive a wink from a lady who liked something I said on a thread in a forum (you can learn lot about people from their forum antics!). Anyway, I sent her an introductory message... and what's followed has been incredible! What she sees in me I'll never understand, but she is amazing and I'm just a very lucky guy.

Don't underestimate a wink!

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

"I think winks are great, and I also think the site could make them a bit more prominent.

Don't underestimate a wink!"

Another great use of the feature. One by one we will defeat the winkless crowd lol

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

Best course of action is wink, message & friend request, triples your chance to be noticed

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

"Winks are underrated..it takes a second, you look at there profile and decide to wink back or not

A well thought out message personalised to the user after reading there profile takes longer than a second, you send it and it gets deleted straight away

Yes you'll say there not interested blah blah blah but it I've sent a well thought polite message id like a no thanks in return.

I know what I'd sooner send "

What makes a wink much more useful then a well thought out message is this. When used just for introductory purposes it helps both parties save soo much time.

Obviously as some have stated, i guess it can be a nuisance too.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"Because a wink doesn't light my inbox up. I don't get the same ego boost from winks because I have to click onto a different page to see them and I don't have time for that.

I want to see the number of unread messages constantly highlighted at the top of the page. Currently 3,296 unread. So many men want to fuck me, it's wonderful.

So cynical

Eh no they want me for real.

A good chunk of those are mine. I've been sending you a message, once a day, for months (just to be ignored)!

;-)

It's the flush does it for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In reply to the OP

It's probably not a negative thing more along the lines of them having a preference for a well composed message.

Some people on here can get alot of winks and probably one liners too and perceive it as not willing to make an effort. We kind of get it from our own experience.

First impressions count and all that jazz.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wank back.

I mean wink back

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We find winks a great way to start up a conversation.

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

"In reply to the OP

It's probably not a negative thing more along the lines of them having a preference for a well composed message.

Some people on here can get alot of winks and probably one liners too and perceive it as not willing to make an effort. We kind of get it from our own experience.

First impressions count and all that jazz. "

I hear that, I'm a true believer in making a good first impression too, i think it goes a long way, but imagine doing the leg work to just get deleted lol not even a thank you or no thanks, can't even be certain if your message was read at times. Hence my go to tool of the wink lol

But as far as this thread goes, one can make an argument for both sides and i understand that much better now x

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

Best course of action is wink, message & friend request, triples your chance to be noticed

This seems like worrying behaviour lol good luck to those who are wreckless to do as much x

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

We will occasionally (but very rarely) reply to a wink.

We will look at the profile and if the sender fits what we want and is either in, or the profile says that the sender is visiting, our area then we will reply.

However the vast majority have obviously not even read beyond the first line of our profile so they get binned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to receive a wink on here just as much as I like receiving them in public. It's a nice gesture. I use the wink function on here regular. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.

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By *umstible OP Man
over a year ago

Colindale

Thanks to everyone who has participated in this thread.

It has given me more insight into how things operate

)

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