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The ego

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What do you know about the ego, how would you describe it?

It comes from the Latin word for “I” it’s all about yourself, any motive or action you take that purely focuses on yourself is ego work, what “I” want.

What things do people do when they want a quick ego boost?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start a Fab thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Making sure you don't get your self esteem from strangers. Taking stock of what you're good at and what you've achieved

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Start a Fab thread "

Yeah that’s a good one for here but I’m talking more real world scenarios.

Although social media activity is a good one.

Constantly putting new pics on Instagram, living for likes of their pictures is a common one for an ego boost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Start a Fab thread

Yeah that’s a good one for here but I’m talking more real world scenarios.

Although social media activity is a good one.

Constantly putting new pics on Instagram, living for likes of their pictures is a common one for an ego boost. "

I guess it's all down to what's important to you. Some get an ego boost out of making people laugh, others from getting compliments about the way they look.

Some get satisfaction out of knowing more than others while some get a kick out of helping people.

It's all personal really isn't it?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Ancient Greek: I am.

Used in psychology to describe parts of the personality, starting with Freud (as compared to the id and the superego).

Often conflated in common usage with self esteem, arrogance, or even the id

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

An occasional ego boost is fine, and I think everyone enjoys this. The issue arises when its constantly sought after especially through social media which tips it towards narcissism.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I think there are 2 different kinds of ego.

There's the one where people base their self worth on something indefinable such as looks. Which requires outsiders to tell them they are the best.

Then there's the one where you can measure if you are the best. Such as if you're the best at a task in work.

I don't believe an ego is inherently a bad thing. I think it's more about how it's utilised.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Biggest ego boost for me is when someone compliments my work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Mine is when someone says I’m funny or intelligent or my cooking and baking is amazing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kill your ego..you dont need it

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Kill your ego..you dont need it"

Kind of disagree, I know I'm good at my job and have argued my case with senior members in the past, to our mutual benefit. It was my ego that helps me do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said it to a mate the other day i remind myself of robin williams spend these days moping about hiding myself and cheering myself up by making folks laugh looking after others laughs looks after myown if thats ego who knows

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Kill your ego..you dont need it"

Yes. If people could kill or quiet the ego they would be a lot happier. It’s quite a hard thing to do though.

The ego is always on the defensive, all about self preservation, ego stops you from being able to simply let things go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In todays society. Are drives which are hardwired struggle with society as it is. Are need for acceptance and belonging comes from the drive to be part of a unit or tribe as there is safety in numbers. As we are all mostly safe, that drive is now about being popular getting lots of likes on social media etc. So an ego boost. Is reinforcing a primal need for safety and acceptance. That's why I try to always be pleasent to people. It doesn't matter whether I like them or they like me. As my close friends should be the only people whose opinion matters, from a primal perspective. And there opinion of me is based on values I hold, which are to treat everyone with respect.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Kill your ego..you dont need it

Kind of disagree, I know I'm good at my job and have argued my case with senior members in the past, to our mutual benefit. It was my ego that helps me do that. "

Yeah, self worth is incredibly important. It's just, how do you do that in sustainable, meaningful, and constructive ways?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think the term ego has several different meanings which are being conflated here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kill your ego..you dont need it"

But the ego is the part that mediates between the id and the superego.

Without that, you're left with the primal part of the mind that deals with aggression and sexual desires and the one that deals with conscience and perfection.

Two ends of the spectrum which would cause wild mood episodes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the term ego has several different meanings which are being conflated here."

Yeah it’s got the I.D, the ego, the superego.

Just want some general easy to understand explanations as to its function, ways that it shows itself in yourself and others and ways that you can tell it to shush!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Kill your ego..you dont need it

Kind of disagree, I know I'm good at my job and have argued my case with senior members in the past, to our mutual benefit. It was my ego that helps me do that.

Yeah, self worth is incredibly important. It's just, how do you do that in sustainable, meaningful, and constructive ways?"

That's the hard bit, there is a bit of blurring of the lines between self worth and ego. Especially being female in a male dominated career I have to have a bit more of an ego, else my voice will get drowned out. Men typically are far better at bigging themselves up in the work place. The studies on it are really interesting. But I think you can have an ego without being an arse about it too. Just being firm and vocal about your strengths

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we are getting off topic. In this instance. We are treating ego as the part of the self that requires to feel good based on how people see us I'm guessing. Ha ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post anonymous naked pictures of themselves on the internet

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Kill your ego..you dont need it

Kind of disagree, I know I'm good at my job and have argued my case with senior members in the past, to our mutual benefit. It was my ego that helps me do that.

Yeah, self worth is incredibly important. It's just, how do you do that in sustainable, meaningful, and constructive ways?

That's the hard bit, there is a bit of blurring of the lines between self worth and ego. Especially being female in a male dominated career I have to have a bit more of an ego, else my voice will get drowned out. Men typically are far better at bigging themselves up in the work place. The studies on it are really interesting. But I think you can have an ego without being an arse about it too. Just being firm and vocal about your strengths"

And is female ego just male confidence?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think the term ego has several different meanings which are being conflated here.

Yeah it’s got the I.D, the ego, the superego.

Just want some general easy to understand explanations as to its function, ways that it shows itself in yourself and others and ways that you can tell it to shush! "

But the Freudian meaning of ego isn't the same as the type you're talking about here.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Kill your ego..you dont need it

Kind of disagree, I know I'm good at my job and have argued my case with senior members in the past, to our mutual benefit. It was my ego that helps me do that.

Yeah, self worth is incredibly important. It's just, how do you do that in sustainable, meaningful, and constructive ways?

That's the hard bit, there is a bit of blurring of the lines between self worth and ego. Especially being female in a male dominated career I have to have a bit more of an ego, else my voice will get drowned out. Men typically are far better at bigging themselves up in the work place. The studies on it are really interesting. But I think you can have an ego without being an arse about it too. Just being firm and vocal about your strengths

And is female ego just male confidence?"

Probably swing, how I'm viewed for being as I am does sometimes get me called all manner of things by male co-workers. It's interesting how certain traits become different things depending on gender. Self confident woman, has an ego is a bitch. Males who care about appearance can me mocked for being vain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what do we do to make ourselves feel positive about ourselves? Ha ha

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Kill your ego..you dont need it

Kind of disagree, I know I'm good at my job and have argued my case with senior members in the past, to our mutual benefit. It was my ego that helps me do that.

Yeah, self worth is incredibly important. It's just, how do you do that in sustainable, meaningful, and constructive ways?

That's the hard bit, there is a bit of blurring of the lines between self worth and ego. Especially being female in a male dominated career I have to have a bit more of an ego, else my voice will get drowned out. Men typically are far better at bigging themselves up in the work place. The studies on it are really interesting. But I think you can have an ego without being an arse about it too. Just being firm and vocal about your strengths

And is female ego just male confidence?

Probably swing, how I'm viewed for being as I am does sometimes get me called all manner of things by male co-workers. It's interesting how certain traits become different things depending on gender. Self confident woman, has an ego is a bitch. Males who care about appearance can me mocked for being vain.

"

Indeed. It's ridiculous. I'm sorry.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"So what do we do to make ourselves feel positive about ourselves? Ha ha "

Self love, and I don't mean wanking. Realising that we are enough as people. Self compassion.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Kill your ego..you dont need it

Kind of disagree, I know I'm good at my job and have argued my case with senior members in the past, to our mutual benefit. It was my ego that helps me do that.

Yeah, self worth is incredibly important. It's just, how do you do that in sustainable, meaningful, and constructive ways?

That's the hard bit, there is a bit of blurring of the lines between self worth and ego. Especially being female in a male dominated career I have to have a bit more of an ego, else my voice will get drowned out. Men typically are far better at bigging themselves up in the work place. The studies on it are really interesting. But I think you can have an ego without being an arse about it too. Just being firm and vocal about your strengths

And is female ego just male confidence?

Probably swing, how I'm viewed for being as I am does sometimes get me called all manner of things by male co-workers. It's interesting how certain traits become different things depending on gender. Self confident woman, has an ego is a bitch. Males who care about appearance can me mocked for being vain.

Indeed. It's ridiculous. I'm sorry."

No it was an interesting point you made Swing. My thinking of having an ego isn't the same as many males versions. And that isn't something I had thought about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the term ego has several different meanings which are being conflated here.

Yeah it’s got the I.D, the ego, the superego.

Just want some general easy to understand explanations as to its function, ways that it shows itself in yourself and others and ways that you can tell it to shush!

But the Freudian meaning of ego isn't the same as the type you're talking about here. "

Don’t really wanna go down the Freud route, there’s countless books and information on psychology.

Just want to know about the role it plays in today’s society.

Like if a guy rejects me it hurts my ego.

Ego loves drama, if I was to liken it to a cartoon character I’d say it was like scrappy doo, always on the defensive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what do we do to make ourselves feel positive about ourselves? Ha ha

Self love, and I don't mean wanking. Realising that we are enough as people. Self compassion."

And maybe cake? Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ego needs no other boost than the person looking back at me every morning when I brush my shiny white teeth and wash my beautiful penis in the sink.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"I think the term ego has several different meanings which are being conflated here.

Yeah it’s got the I.D, the ego, the superego.

Just want some general easy to understand explanations as to its function, ways that it shows itself in yourself and others and ways that you can tell it to shush!

But the Freudian meaning of ego isn't the same as the type you're talking about here.

Don’t really wanna go down the Freud route, there’s countless books and information on psychology.

Just want to know about the role it plays in today’s society.

Like if a guy rejects me it hurts my ego.

Ego loves drama, if I was to liken it to a cartoon character I’d say it was like scrappy doo, always on the defensive. "

Being rejected isn't just about your ego though. You've put your emotions into the hands of another. If you didn't have hurt feelings I'd be more concerned

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I think the term ego has several different meanings which are being conflated here.

Yeah it’s got the I.D, the ego, the superego.

Just want some general easy to understand explanations as to its function, ways that it shows itself in yourself and others and ways that you can tell it to shush!

But the Freudian meaning of ego isn't the same as the type you're talking about here.

Don’t really wanna go down the Freud route, there’s countless books and information on psychology.

Just want to know about the role it plays in today’s society.

Like if a guy rejects me it hurts my ego.

Ego loves drama, if I was to liken it to a cartoon character I’d say it was like scrappy doo, always on the defensive. "

Ok, define your terms. The Freudian route is the one involving the id and the superego.

You mean self esteem, self worth, self belief, stuff like that.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"So what do we do to make ourselves feel positive about ourselves? Ha ha

Self love, and I don't mean wanking. Realising that we are enough as people. Self compassion.

And maybe cake? Ha ha"

Short term defence mechanism. Has its uses but likely isn't sustainable on health grounds.

Working on yourself is hard work, confronting, and fucking boring, but it's the answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The biggest ego boost for me ,is when people say you always brighten up my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The biggest ego boost for me ,is when people say you always brighten up my day"

You do always brighten up my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So what do we do to make ourselves feel positive about ourselves? Ha ha

Self love, and I don't mean wanking. Realising that we are enough as people. Self compassion.

And maybe cake? Ha ha

Short term defence mechanism. Has its uses but likely isn't sustainable on health grounds.

Working on yourself is hard work, confronting, and fucking boring, but it's the answer."

I was just injecting a little levity, as I think it's gone off piste a bit. Never mind. Ha ha

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"So what do we do to make ourselves feel positive about ourselves? Ha ha

Self love, and I don't mean wanking. Realising that we are enough as people. Self compassion.

And maybe cake? Ha ha

Short term defence mechanism. Has its uses but likely isn't sustainable on health grounds.

Working on yourself is hard work, confronting, and fucking boring, but it's the answer.

I was just injecting a little levity, as I think it's gone off piste a bit. Never mind. Ha ha "

Sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The biggest ego boost for me ,is when people say you always brighten up my day

You do always brighten up my day"

And my ego has just had a boost,thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An occasional ego boost is fine, and I think everyone enjoys this. The issue arises when its constantly sought after especially through social media which tips it towards narcissism."

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By *eliz NelsonMan
over a year ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

This thread brought back memories of 'Johari's Window'...'how we see ourselves;...how we think other people see us...how we would like other people to see us ..blah blah....always thought of he exercise as an introverts nightmare

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the term ego has several different meanings which are being conflated here.

Yeah it’s got the I.D, the ego, the superego.

Just want some general easy to understand explanations as to its function, ways that it shows itself in yourself and others and ways that you can tell it to shush!

But the Freudian meaning of ego isn't the same as the type you're talking about here.

Don’t really wanna go down the Freud route, there’s countless books and information on psychology.

Just want to know about the role it plays in today’s society.

Like if a guy rejects me it hurts my ego.

Ego loves drama, if I was to liken it to a cartoon character I’d say it was like scrappy doo, always on the defensive.

Ok, define your terms. The Freudian route is the one involving the id and the superego.

You mean self esteem, self worth, self belief, stuff like that."

To me and how I’d interpret it (please correct me if this is wrong cos I don’t want to be putting false shit in my book)

I’m gonna say the purpose of the ego is multi functioning, it can be a self defence mechanism, when the Ego is feeling hurt, or unfairly treated, it can lash out in various ways (I’ll go into detail when I write it)

It can hold on to negative thoughts, because to release them would feel like it’s being defeated.

People then look for other ways to temporarily feed it, post pictures for likes, sleep with people for a temporary fix and so on.

What I want is for people to read about it, recognise shit they’ve done or had done to them, why they’ve felt what they’ve felt, understand why they feel that way and then hopefully find other ways to make themselves feel better rather than situations that I feel are quite toxic.

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By *abs_FWBMan
over a year ago

Paris to Berlin

Your ego is not your amigo ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you know about the ego, how would you describe it?

It comes from the Latin word for “I” it’s all about yourself, any motive or action you take that purely focuses on yourself is ego work, what “I” want.

What things do people do when they want a quick ego boost?

"

Take loads of selfies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A profile view gives me an ego boost...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't need my ego massaged by anyone as it simply never gets bruised.

Nor will I ever massage someone's ego to gain favour, I find that so false.

I go through life with no unrealistic expectations if you're a realist, you cope much better.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

To me and how I’d interpret it (please correct me if this is wrong cos I don’t want to be putting false shit in my book)

I’m gonna say the purpose of the ego is multi functioning, it can be a self defence mechanism, when the Ego is feeling hurt, or unfairly treated, it can lash out in various ways (I’ll go into detail when I write it)

It can hold on to negative thoughts, because to release them would feel like it’s being defeated.

People then look for other ways to temporarily feed it, post pictures for likes, sleep with people for a temporary fix and so on.

What I want is for people to read about it, recognise shit they’ve done or had done to them, why they’ve felt what they’ve felt, understand why they feel that way and then hopefully find other ways to make themselves feel better rather than situations that I feel are quite toxic. "

I don't think this is something that can be adequately hashed out in a forum for the purposes of writing a book.

I think you need to go and look at the definition of ego, in a dictionary. Define clearly what you mean and clearly exclude other meaning (so here you need to explicitly exclude Freudian definitions). You'll find multiple definitions and you need to say "For the purpose of my discussion I am referring to (this) not (this or that)."

Look at things like self esteem, self worth, sense of belonging, self compassion, defence mechanisms, resilience and fragility. That's where I would start when analysing these questions.

(I'm not a psychologist or anything like that)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A profile view gives me an ego boost... "

I fabbed your face picture.

I hope this helps

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By *ocoa89Man
over a year ago

Camberwell

Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A profile view gives me an ego boost...

I fabbed your face picture.

I hope this helps "

Thanks mate. It's definitely helped. Best get showered and advertised for a meet...

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

"

Altruism is powerful and sustainable for those inclined that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ego is like a balloon - sometimes it becomes so over inflated that it doesn’t look good, sometimes it’s floppy and sad, and then all it takes to burst it is one little prick!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My sister is a psychologist and behavioural analyst but when she tries telling me about the ego my eyes glaze over.

Then I have a friend who is very very spiritual and talks about higher self and how we’re in 3D and 5D and when she talks about ego it’s more in the sense of when I’ve been moaning about something or other. Example, he blocked me, he blocked me, what the fucks that about and she’s like stop that’s just your ego at work.

Both give me different information and I just want like some basic definitions of its function, how it presents itself in ourselves and others and just how to get it to behave.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My sister is a psychologist and behavioural analyst but when she tries telling me about the ego my eyes glaze over.

Then I have a friend who is very very spiritual and talks about higher self and how we’re in 3D and 5D and when she talks about ego it’s more in the sense of when I’ve been moaning about something or other. Example, he blocked me, he blocked me, what the fucks that about and she’s like stop that’s just your ego at work.

Both give me different information and I just want like some basic definitions of its function, how it presents itself in ourselves and others and just how to get it to behave. "

It's a complicated subject. You need to be able to get your head around the stuff that makes your eyes glaze over in order to be able to add value for your readers.

Talk to your sister. Or ask her for recommendations for reading.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

Altruism is powerful and sustainable for those inclined that way."

But not if they the go and post about it on social media like I see a lot of people doing. Taking pictures of them giving £20 to a homeless person.

That stuff makes me angry! Not the giving the money, the documenting of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking for fabs

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"My sister is a psychologist and behavioural analyst but when she tries telling me about the ego my eyes glaze over.

Then I have a friend who is very very spiritual and talks about higher self and how we’re in 3D and 5D and when she talks about ego it’s more in the sense of when I’ve been moaning about something or other. Example, he blocked me, he blocked me, what the fucks that about and she’s like stop that’s just your ego at work.

Both give me different information and I just want like some basic definitions of its function, how it presents itself in ourselves and others and just how to get it to behave. "

But the reason why you want to know why they blocked you can be due to a myriad of reasons. To me it would lie in abandonment issues and wanting to know what I did wrong etc. In others I guess it could be why would they not want to date me. The answer that question is far too complicated to blame ego in itself

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

Altruism is powerful and sustainable for those inclined that way.

But not if they the go and post about it on social media like I see a lot of people doing. Taking pictures of them giving £20 to a homeless person.

That stuff makes me angry! Not the giving the money, the documenting of it. "

I think it's a slippery slope tbh. Should people who do charity work be forced to keep silent about it, like it's a dirty little secret? Isn't talking about charity work a way to encourage others to consider doing the same?

I'd also want to ask what about it makes you angry and why. (Sometimes it can be cringe worthy but it doesn't rouse anger in me in general)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My sister is a psychologist and behavioural analyst but when she tries telling me about the ego my eyes glaze over.

Then I have a friend who is very very spiritual and talks about higher self and how we’re in 3D and 5D and when she talks about ego it’s more in the sense of when I’ve been moaning about something or other. Example, he blocked me, he blocked me, what the fucks that about and she’s like stop that’s just your ego at work.

Both give me different information and I just want like some basic definitions of its function, how it presents itself in ourselves and others and just how to get it to behave.

But the reason why you want to know why they blocked you can be due to a myriad of reasons. To me it would lie in abandonment issues and wanting to know what I did wrong etc. In others I guess it could be why would they not want to date me. The answer that question is far too complicated to blame ego in itself "

Or at least it's subsets of ego or issues stemming from ego.

Human emotions are complicated. I wish it weren't so.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

Altruism is powerful and sustainable for those inclined that way.

But not if they the go and post about it on social media like I see a lot of people doing. Taking pictures of them giving £20 to a homeless person.

That stuff makes me angry! Not the giving the money, the documenting of it.

I think it's a slippery slope tbh. Should people who do charity work be forced to keep silent about it, like it's a dirty little secret? Isn't talking about charity work a way to encourage others to consider doing the same?

I'd also want to ask what about it makes you angry and why. (Sometimes it can be cringe worthy but it doesn't rouse anger in me in general)"

I just feel like if they want to do the deed of giving someone money, do it just don’t take a picture of it. Like I know if I was to become homeless I wouldn’t want that part of my life documented on someone’s social media.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"My sister is a psychologist and behavioural analyst but when she tries telling me about the ego my eyes glaze over.

Then I have a friend who is very very spiritual and talks about higher self and how we’re in 3D and 5D and when she talks about ego it’s more in the sense of when I’ve been moaning about something or other. Example, he blocked me, he blocked me, what the fucks that about and she’s like stop that’s just your ego at work.

Both give me different information and I just want like some basic definitions of its function, how it presents itself in ourselves and others and just how to get it to behave.

But the reason why you want to know why they blocked you can be due to a myriad of reasons. To me it would lie in abandonment issues and wanting to know what I did wrong etc. In others I guess it could be why would they not want to date me. The answer that question is far too complicated to blame ego in itself

Or at least it's subsets of ego or issues stemming from ego.

Human emotions are complicated. I wish it weren't so."

Tell me about it, taken years and years of work to understand my abandonment issues and how to deal with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My sister is a psychologist and behavioural analyst but when she tries telling me about the ego my eyes glaze over.

Then I have a friend who is very very spiritual and talks about higher self and how we’re in 3D and 5D and when she talks about ego it’s more in the sense of when I’ve been moaning about something or other. Example, he blocked me, he blocked me, what the fucks that about and she’s like stop that’s just your ego at work.

Both give me different information and I just want like some basic definitions of its function, how it presents itself in ourselves and others and just how to get it to behave.

But the reason why you want to know why they blocked you can be due to a myriad of reasons. To me it would lie in abandonment issues and wanting to know what I did wrong etc. In others I guess it could be why would they not want to date me. The answer that question is far too complicated to blame ego in itself "

Yeah it’s a lot of wondering what I did wrong, coupled with the feeling of how dare YOU block ME!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

Altruism is powerful and sustainable for those inclined that way.

But not if they the go and post about it on social media like I see a lot of people doing. Taking pictures of them giving £20 to a homeless person.

That stuff makes me angry! Not the giving the money, the documenting of it.

I think it's a slippery slope tbh. Should people who do charity work be forced to keep silent about it, like it's a dirty little secret? Isn't talking about charity work a way to encourage others to consider doing the same?

I'd also want to ask what about it makes you angry and why. (Sometimes it can be cringe worthy but it doesn't rouse anger in me in general)

I just feel like if they want to do the deed of giving someone money, do it just don’t take a picture of it. Like I know if I was to become homeless I wouldn’t want that part of my life documented on someone’s social media.

"

Ok. You're entitled to your emotions.

Altruism is still powerful and sustainable as a way to boost a sense of self esteem and self worth.

And publicising things has multiple purposes.

But I suspect that the reaction of anger towards altruism, or indeed the assumption that it's an opportunity to big oneself up, says more about the person reacting than the act.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"My sister is a psychologist and behavioural analyst but when she tries telling me about the ego my eyes glaze over.

Then I have a friend who is very very spiritual and talks about higher self and how we’re in 3D and 5D and when she talks about ego it’s more in the sense of when I’ve been moaning about something or other. Example, he blocked me, he blocked me, what the fucks that about and she’s like stop that’s just your ego at work.

Both give me different information and I just want like some basic definitions of its function, how it presents itself in ourselves and others and just how to get it to behave.

But the reason why you want to know why they blocked you can be due to a myriad of reasons. To me it would lie in abandonment issues and wanting to know what I did wrong etc. In others I guess it could be why would they not want to date me. The answer that question is far too complicated to blame ego in itself

Or at least it's subsets of ego or issues stemming from ego.

Human emotions are complicated. I wish it weren't so.

Tell me about it, taken years and years of work to understand my abandonment issues and how to deal with it. "

Solidarity xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people got rid of ego the world would be a better place.

Take an animal for example, it has personality but no ego. It just either loves unconditionally or will even help other animals in distress. Even predators that hunt other animals when not actually hungry show compassion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lunch time stroke?

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow


"Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

Altruism is powerful and sustainable for those inclined that way.

But not if they the go and post about it on social media like I see a lot of people doing. Taking pictures of them giving £20 to a homeless person.

That stuff makes me angry! Not the giving the money, the documenting of it.

I think it's a slippery slope tbh. Should people who do charity work be forced to keep silent about it, like it's a dirty little secret? Isn't talking about charity work a way to encourage others to consider doing the same?

I'd also want to ask what about it makes you angry and why. (Sometimes it can be cringe worthy but it doesn't rouse anger in me in general)

I just feel like if they want to do the deed of giving someone money, do it just don’t take a picture of it. Like I know if I was to become homeless I wouldn’t want that part of my life documented on someone’s social media.

Ok. You're entitled to your emotions.

Altruism is still powerful and sustainable as a way to boost a sense of self esteem and self worth.

And publicising things has multiple purposes.

But I suspect that the reaction of anger towards altruism, or indeed the assumption that it's an opportunity to big oneself up, says more about the person reacting than the act."

It's not really altruism though if it's done to boost your own self esteem is it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

It's not really altruism though if it's done to boost your own self esteem is it "

I'm not sure altruism precludes getting a kick out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So egos eh, can't live with em, can't decide what they are. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So egos eh, can't live with em, can't decide what they are. Lol"

Who was this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Typically if I want an ego boost, I'll try do something for someones benefit - tends to make me feel good / like a good person.

Altruism is powerful and sustainable for those inclined that way.

But not if they the go and post about it on social media like I see a lot of people doing. Taking pictures of them giving £20 to a homeless person.

That stuff makes me angry! Not the giving the money, the documenting of it.

I think it's a slippery slope tbh. Should people who do charity work be forced to keep silent about it, like it's a dirty little secret? Isn't talking about charity work a way to encourage others to consider doing the same?

I'd also want to ask what about it makes you angry and why. (Sometimes it can be cringe worthy but it doesn't rouse anger in me in general)

I just feel like if they want to do the deed of giving someone money, do it just don’t take a picture of it. Like I know if I was to become homeless I wouldn’t want that part of my life documented on someone’s social media.

"

Fair point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have a real big ego problem...

But after a lot of hard work and effort in ridding myself of it, I'm pretty much perfect.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I used to have a real big ego problem...

But after a lot of hard work and effort in ridding myself of it, I'm pretty much perfect.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whereas I having been a repeat offender on fab over a few years have realised that my ego is about as likely to be stroked as my cock is ( well thats not quite true but I hope you get the general thrust of my point!) ??

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