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"Depends who tells me." ideally id like to hear it from the person cheating | |||
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"I would always want to know... But have always known in the past... I just let them get on with it... Cali " id kick his ass (not litterally) if i got cheated on.. wouldnt let him carry on thats for sure. He'd be gone! lol | |||
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"we have the same rule also, Never play with anyone if we know that they are married or attached and is cheating, if they both are swingers then all is good thats fair enough but if your own partner was cheating on you, would you want to know?" yes i would want to know, but when we play as singles we both know who with when and when and have phone numbers | |||
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"I would always want to know... But have always known in the past... I just let them get on with it... Cali id kick his ass (not litterally) if i got cheated on.. wouldnt let him carry on thats for sure. He'd be gone! lol " see for me it was a case of I knew.. but it didnt bother me.. let him think that I didnt know... It suited me to let it carry on.. I am sure many wives that are being cheated on do actually know... and as long as it doesnt affect the home life then thats that. The amusing thing for me was that My ex cheated because I was always in the mood... go figure that one.. lol but no matter why.. I just saw it as something they had to do...(then again I have only been faithful once) Cali | |||
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"When it happened to me with my ex, I knew, but she spent another two years denying it - no matter what evidence I put in front of her. That hurt far more than knowing she was cheating... " Cheating is not a result of someone's inability to adequately express how they feel about you, it is an expression of *exactly* how they feel about you. | |||
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"we have an understanding that if wife meets a guy when out on the town as long as i get a text that she going to play all is fine, one night no text but she played told me when she got in i was not happy at all, as for me even thinking about other women in her mind thats cheating " So she gets the best of both world's and you cop a fuck load of grief? Sod that for a game of soldiers! | |||
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"we have the same rule also, Never play with anyone if we know that they are married or attached and is cheating, if they both are swingers then all is good thats fair enough but if your own partner was cheating on you, would you want to know? yes i would want to know, but when we play as singles we both know who with when and when and have phone numbers " same here - and also when we get home we let the other one know, for K's safety more than anything else | |||
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"wishy hence why iam on here as a cheating married guy " and you'll still cop a fuck load of grief for it lol | |||
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"we have the same rule also, Never play with anyone if we know that they are married or attached and is cheating, if they both are swingers then all is good thats fair enough but if your own partner was cheating on you, would you want to know?" Before I started swinging I was with a guy for nearly 4 years. I found out in Feb that he'd had a 2 year affair. I wish I'd known when it had happened purely so I could have left him and given her the slap around the face she deserves. | |||
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"we have the same rule also, Never play with anyone if we know that they are married or attached and is cheating, if they both are swingers then all is good thats fair enough but if your own partner was cheating on you, would you want to know? Before I started swinging I was with a guy for nearly 4 years. I found out in Feb that he'd had a 2 year affair. I wish I'd known when it had happened purely so I could have left him and given her the slap around the face she deserves. " i also think its that feeling of a wasted life, my first hubby was cheating on me and when i found out i just thought if i had knmown years ago i could have left and got on with my life instead of being in a dead end relationship with you Whats the point in being with someone who didnt love or want me he may as well have left me and been single so he could fuck who he liked, but some want the wife at home so they dont have to do their owen cooking and cleaning but a single life while out | |||
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"we have the same rule also, Never play with anyone if we know that they are married or attached and is cheating, if they both are swingers then all is good thats fair enough but if your own partner was cheating on you, would you want to know? yes i would want to know, but when we play as singles we both know who with when and when and have phone numbers same here - and also when we get home we let the other one know, for K's safety more than anything else" Thats a good rule, but thats not cheating that's swinging. Cheating is without partners consent. I've been in a relationship before where he was cheating and yes I knew but I had 2 kids, didn't know where to turn so sat at home slowly going mad. It was him that walked away in the end and I then got grief for not begging him to stay but I was so relieved he'd gone and took the decision out of my hands I literally locked the door behind him & just carried on with my life. | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. " holy shit thats horny!!! | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. " That was a tongue in cheek post right? | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. " How much are you flogging her for? | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. That was a tongue in cheek post right? " Nope, that's exactly what I would do. I'd figure that the worst case scenario is that the relationship is dead, so any improvement on that position would be a bonus. | |||
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"we have an understanding that if wife meets a guy when out on the town as long as i get a text that she going to play all is fine, one night no text but she played told me when she got in i was not happy at all, as for me even thinking about other women in her mind thats cheating So she gets the best of both world's and you cop a fuck load of grief? Sod that for a game of soldiers! " Agree with Wishy - kick her ass into the kerb mate! Stuff that!!!! | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. That was a tongue in cheek post right? Nope, that's exactly what I would do. I'd figure that the worst case scenario is that the relationship is dead, so any improvement on that position would be a bonus." Bloody hell - It's 'Pork agrees with Wishy day'!!!! Spot on - there is NO middle ground in this - been there, done that and got a range of T shirts! If the transgressor GENUINELY wants to stay in the relationship, they HAVE to accept there will be a form of punishment of some kind. Personally I wouldn't have beat her to within an inch of her life at the time (should have done in retrospect) but there would still have been a punishment of some kind, which may or may not have been physical. | |||
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" i also think its that feeling of a wasted life, my first hubby was cheating on me and when i found out i just thought if i had knmown years ago i could have left and got on with my life instead of being in a dead end relationship with you Whats the point in being with someone who didnt love or want me he may as well have left me and been single so he could fuck who he liked, but some want the wife at home so they dont have to do their owen cooking and cleaning but a single life while out" This is SO true hon, When I found out about my EX, he said he hadn't wanted me around for the last 7 years! I was so angry.. I'd wasted all that time loving some twat who hadn't the balls to be honest and finish it. What a fucker! | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. That was a tongue in cheek post right? Nope, that's exactly what I would do. I'd figure that the worst case scenario is that the relationship is dead, so any improvement on that position would be a bonus." i find it very hard to believe that you would choose to forget someone or not if they cheated on you based of if they allow you to flog them for it Basically your giving someone the red light there do do what they want so long as they prepaired to take a flogging after for it | |||
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" Basically your giving someone the red light there do do what they want so long as they prepaired to take a flogging after for it " Is that not what the Catholic church does too? Are you a religeous man Wishy? | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. That was a tongue in cheek post right? Nope, that's exactly what I would do. I'd figure that the worst case scenario is that the relationship is dead, so any improvement on that position would be a bonus. i find it very hard to believe that you would choose to forget someone or not if they cheated on you based of if they allow you to flog them for it Basically your giving someone the red light there do do what they want so long as they prepaired to take a flogging after for it " You have to understand the type of person that I am to understand why I said what I said above. I'm not a possessive or jeaous person by any means, but I don't let people take advantage of me either. If she wanted to have sex with other men she knows I wouldn't mind it at all, and would even help her in selecting them, but, if she met a guy who wasn't into swinging and she still wanted ot shag him then she'd have to do it behind my back and that's unacceptable. She makes her decision and acts on it leaving me to make my decisions should I find out. If it then changes our relationship so that she can shag who she wants as long as she takes her 'punishment' for it (if I find out), then that's acceptable as I'll be getting what I want too. I actually don't care who she shags so long as I know about it. | |||
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" Basically your giving someone the red light there do do what they want so long as they prepaired to take a flogging after for it Is that not what the Catholic church does too? Are you a religeous man Wishy? " Not in any conception of the word. I am my own god. | |||
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" i also think its that feeling of a wasted life, my first hubby was cheating on me and when i found out i just thought if i had knmown years ago i could have left and got on with my life instead of being in a dead end relationship with you Whats the point in being with someone who didnt love or want me he may as well have left me and been single so he could fuck who he liked, but some want the wife at home so they dont have to do their owen cooking and cleaning but a single life while out This is SO true hon, When I found out about my EX, he said he hadn't wanted me around for the last 7 years! I was so angry.. I'd wasted all that time loving some twat who hadn't the balls to be honest and finish it. What a fucker! " +1 same with what happened to me, and I felt the same - all that time wasted........ | |||
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"The heart doesn't grieve about something of which the mind is unaware. Let's say your partner cheated but it was 20 years ago and since then he/she had been a faithful and loving partner. You find out about the cheating 20 years after the event. What do you do? I've learned that in the course of human relationships that promises made are only kept whilst the love is alive and strong but once it's dead the promise dies with it, and if the love is dead then it doesn't matter anyway." | |||
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"we have an understanding that if wife meets a guy when out on the town as long as i get a text that she going to play all is fine, one night no text but she played told me when she got in i was not happy at all, as for me even thinking about other women in her mind thats cheating So she gets the best of both world's and you cop a fuck load of grief? Sod that for a game of soldiers! Agree with Wishy - kick her ass into the kerb mate! Stuff that!!!! " | |||
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"I would want to know, better always from them... but then again, if they could open up, they may not cheat in the first place" Absolutely, that is what I mean - if you are totally honest and open (and sometimes that in itself is difficult and can cause hurt) ... there is no need to cheat really ... | |||
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"I'm very much in to BDSM but Siren isn't so I've had to supress my tendencies to control in our marriage. However, I'd dearly love to suspend her from the rafters and flog her (not beat her, there's a difference), so if she was to cheat on me, and I found out, I'd ask the following two questions: First, does she plan on leaving or staying? Second, if she says she wants to stay she'll have a choice to make: accept her punishment for her infidelity, or leave. It would be non-negotiable. If she accepts, she gets what she wants and I get what I want. If she doesn't, we split up. That was a tongue in cheek post right? Nope, that's exactly what I would do. I'd figure that the worst case scenario is that the relationship is dead, so any improvement on that position would be a bonus. i find it very hard to believe that you would choose to forget someone or not if they cheated on you based of if they allow you to flog them for it Basically your giving someone the red light there do do what they want so long as they prepaired to take a flogging after for it You have to understand the type of person that I am to understand why I said what I said above. I'm not a possessive or jeaous person by any means, but I don't let people take advantage of me either. If she wanted to have sex with other men she knows I wouldn't mind it at all, and would even help her in selecting them, but, if she met a guy who wasn't into swinging and she still wanted ot shag him then she'd have to do it behind my back and that's unacceptable. She makes her decision and acts on it leaving me to make my decisions should I find out. If it then changes our relationship so that she can shag who she wants as long as she takes her 'punishment' for it (if I find out), then that's acceptable as I'll be getting what I want too. I actually don't care who she shags so long as I know about it." it always amazes me that people believe they can say what someone would do when they r not in that relationship and on this forum may not even know that person. every person deals with a situation slightly differently or completely differently. i think that if wishy things he can be cheated on an being able to flog her may keep there relationship together who the feck am i to disgree as i don't know him or there relationship. in my current relationship i real believe if he cheated i could forgive him, but maybe not trust him again and for him the fact i trust him is a huge thing so hey we all have our quirks xxxxx | |||
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" now it seems people manage every facet of their relationships on line and at the click of a button.... all hell is let loose." Very true - our lives, all aspects of ... seem to be changing. Not all for the better... | |||
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"i think that if wishy things he can be cheated on an being able to flog her may keep there relationship together who the feck am i to disgree as i don't know him or there relationship. " You've misunderstood me a little. It's not about keeping the relationship going if I can flog her from time to time, it's about changing the dynamics of the relationship completely and letting her know I won't stand for being cheated on, else there are consequences - a flogging if she agrees to it, separation if she don't. It's all about sending an unequivocal message that says "got for it if you must, but there are ramifications". | |||
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"When it happened to me with my ex, I knew, but she spent another two years denying it - no matter what evidence I put in front of her. That hurt far more than knowing she was cheating... " You were married to my ex? Had the same thing with my ex wife, that made me more angry then the fact she thought she could get away cheating on me! The actual 'act' of shagging someone behind my back was a very small part of anger/pain it causes. As for knowing or not knowing, I've always be able to read my partners like a book, unfortunately a few pages behind not in front! So its not like I get a choice of knowing or not. | |||
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"I have had two failed marriages, the first we split as friends. The second was hell on earth, in the end not only did he shag his step-sister in various hotels and is now living with her, ( and lets not forget that this is my children's auntie)I only found out about this when he had to write all hotels and name and shame on the divorce papers, but was having and still is having sex with an other behind both our backs. That has been going on for almost ten years which means when i walked up the aisle and said our vows it mean't nothing, and know i know that he only married me so he could have a say in our disabled daughters life. The sex between us was bloody awful and looking back now i could of had him on countless times for rape. As it was always a push back on the bed and take which he also did on our wedding night by lifting my dress and saying "your mine now" I was blind to all that was going on as he worked away alot so it was the perfect cover up. It has only come to light about the 10yr affair because my wonderful partner Pork got to talk to this woman via text by offering her sex and in the end she broke down and told him what was going on. I still get her stalking out side my house. And day i am going to tell her to get a different car and follow him home and knock on his door. But I am waiting for the right time... maybe when he has his mother there etc...... Now where's that cattle prod " Sorry didn't hi the delete button quick enough | |||
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