FabSwingers.com forum: Don't hold em in!

By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

Yesterday at work I had terrible heartburn, it's been a while since I've had it.

So, I did that thing where I wondered what caused it coz I'd not eaten anything spicy or different. It was just a normal working day where I couldn't think of anything I had done, or was doing differently.

Until I needed to fart that is, and held yet another one because unlike normal, my rectum trumpet could have been mistaken for the bog of eternal stench from Labyrinth.

I thought "naaaaaaaaaaaah"

I thought "I fucking wonder"

Then "naaaaaaaaaaaaah"

So I googled and I have to say I was eyes wide and the result.

Holding in your farts CAN give you heartburn!!

Let em out people.... set them free.

You're welcome.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been accused of holding them in

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I find it amusing that this thread about farts is from somebody in Tooting.

Toot toot!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never been accused of holding them in

"
stupid emoji fingers grrrrr im not a damn rainbow ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never have heartburn ... go figure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love to let rip!! He he xx

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

And did you know, the tighter the rusty sheriffs badge, thw louder the fart?

I'm proud of my trumpet.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

What

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Yesterday at work I had terrible heartburn, it's been a while since I've had it.

Until I needed to fart that is, and held yet another one because unlike normal, my rectum trumpet could have been mistaken for the bog of eternal stench from Labyrinth.

I thought "naaaaaaaaaaaah"

I thought "I fucking wonder"

Then "naaaaaaaaaaaaah"

So I googled and I have to say I was eyes wide and the result.

Holding in your farts CAN give you heartburn!!

Let em out people.... set them free.

You're welcome."

If I had read the first post without checking who the OP was , I would have known it was you straight away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i hold in i do an internal fart also did you know if you sit on your shoulders feet in the air you can suck in air with your arse and fart a tune?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Nan used to say "where e're you be, let the wind blow free. Where e're you go, let it blow!"

lol.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Women’s farts fucking stink as well

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

"If i hold in i do an internal fart also did you know if you sit on your shoulders feet in the air you can suck in air with your arse and fart a tune?

Mr methane was famous for that

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

This is the sort of useful knowledge the Lounge should be filled with. Thank you Op.

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Women’s farts fucking stink as well

Mine are normally all bark and no bite. However I found eating red meat gives me the stinkers, as does being on the blob.

Apparently woman bum-burps contain more hydrogen sulfide which makes them smell.

Of course it mainly comes down to diet

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Women’s farts fucking stink as well

Mine are normally all bark and no bite. However I found eating red meat gives me the stinkers, as does being on the blob.

Apparently woman bum-burps contain more hydrogen sulfide which makes them smell.

Of course it mainly comes down to diet"

It’s Indian food for me. Takes at least 24hrs to clear meself out as well

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"I find it amusing that this thread about farts is from somebody in Tooting.

Toot toot! "

Great observation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m proud of mine too!! He he xx

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"This is the sort of useful knowledge the Lounge should be filled with. Thank you Op. "

Could be a game changer for those who can't work out the cause of their indigestion or heartburn.

Never see gaviscon advertising people to let their farts out do ya? They won't make any money off the natural remedy!!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"This is the sort of useful knowledge the Lounge should be filled with. Thank you Op. "

Agreed! Lifesaving advice, this

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is the sort of useful knowledge the Lounge should be filled with. Thank you Op.

Could be a game changer for those who can't work out the cause of their indigestion or heartburn.

Never see gaviscon advertising people to let their farts out do ya? They won't make any money off the natural remedy!!"

Do you like to smell yours?? Xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I find it amusing that this thread about farts is from somebody in Tooting.

Toot toot! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all makes sense now!

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"This is the sort of useful knowledge the Lounge should be filled with. Thank you Op.

Could be a game changer for those who can't work out the cause of their indigestion or heartburn.

Never see gaviscon advertising people to let their farts out do ya? They won't make any money off the natural remedy!!

Do you like to smell yours?? Xx"

I can't say I do.

They don't usually whiff tho.

Noisy - definitely

Smelly - not really, maybe one a week that catches me by surprise if that.

Pre-poop period fart is something else tho, those cunts make me want to bleach myself from the inside out

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Damn, I thought this was about boobs!

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I always do PP, I've horrified many a poor sensitive soul with my unbridled fartage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter done one in the aisle in Asda yesterday. I said you can’t do that in public, it was honking as well, felt like I was chewing on it. Good job people had masks on.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Always so informative Peach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing about working from home, chuck out rippers whenever you feel

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

Oh the irony someone from Tooting talking about gas, and I thought ladies didn't fart

Nah, let her rip tater chip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/8ip8OsExLJs

My farts sound like a duck quack....I call them my trouser ducks

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sage and onion stuffing for me...no need for a jetpack after eating that for me! Absolute rocket fuel

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

I do need to clear something up, I've possibly through Tooting maybe twice in my life.

I even say in my profile text right up the top that I live nowhere near there, it's just the sound my bumhole sings

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"I do need to clear something up, I've possibly through Tooting maybe twice in my life.

I even say in my profile text right up the top that I live nowhere near there, it's just the sound my bumhole sings "

So you don't sound like Pingu then?

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I do need to clear something up, I've possibly through Tooting maybe twice in my life.

I even say in my profile text right up the top that I live nowhere near there, it's just the sound my bumhole sings

So you don't sound like Pingu then?

You ever been to a really loud gig and you can feel the base in your chest?

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"I do need to clear something up, I've possibly through Tooting maybe twice in my life.

I even say in my profile text right up the top that I live nowhere near there, it's just the sound my bumhole sings

So you don't sound like Pingu then?

You ever been to a really loud gig and you can feel the base in your chest?

I remember discos in junior school making my chest pound, nowadays its been stood next to large diesel engines running that makes my chest vibrate

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I do need to clear something up, I've possibly through Tooting maybe twice in my life.

I even say in my profile text right up the top that I live nowhere near there, it's just the sound my bumhole sings

So you don't sound like Pingu then?

You ever been to a really loud gig and you can feel the base in your chest?

I remember discos in junior school making my chest pound, nowadays its been stood next to large diesel engines running that makes my chest vibrate"

Yeah, well it's a bit like that

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

If you have to let it go. Do in the lift and quickly get out

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Apparently in Germany it's not considered rude to fart in public and most don't bat an eyelid doing it?

Correct me if i'm wrong please

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

"My Nan used to say "where e're you be, let the wind blow free. Where e're you go, let it blow!"

lol."
in church or chapel let it rattle

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Apparently in Germany it's not considered rude to fart in public and most don't bat an eyelid doing it?

Correct me if i'm wrong please

I must be part German.

I say that.

What I meant is I'M good to fart in public, but other people not so much.

Other people need to go to the woods or something.

Smelly beasts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine just slip out.

But thank you for the crucial information

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

This would be very useful to people who actually hold their farts in

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I never hold a fart back

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Why is it people like the smell of their own farts but not other peoples? Or is that just me? X

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

They really ought to bring back those 80's-style public health adverts back. Maybe the green cross code man, letting rip, thumbs up to the camera saying 'Heartburn? Better out than in

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

All these couples who say "we've never farted in front of each other, it's disrespectful" but now realise they've been listening to each other moan about indigestion for years too!

Poor sods have literally been causing themselves pain to protect show respect or whatnot.

Then the first one to fall asleep keeps the other one awake with orchestral manoeuvres in the dark anyway, they just don't know it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better to have an empty house over a bad tenant!

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

I believe the Dutch studied this. Apparently you should aim for 11good farts a day for a healthy person. It's also not good for you to hold em in either. #justletemout.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

This thread has brightened my data blighted day. Thank you, Princess Peach

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"This thread has brightened my data blighted day. Thank you, Princess Peach

You're very welcome.

Science can be fun right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking love you Peach,, this thread is class

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"Why is it people like the smell of their own farts but not other peoples? Or is that just me? X

I wouldn't say I like my own farts, but I can tolerate them more than other people's stenches

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"This thread has brightened my data blighted day. Thank you, Princess Peach

You're very welcome.

Science can be fun right? "

Science is fun. Crunching numbers on staff utilisation and efficiency is NOT fun

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"This thread has brightened my data blighted day. Thank you, Princess Peach

You're very welcome.

Science can be fun right?

Science is fun. Crunching numbers on staff utilisation and efficiency is NOT fun

Yay hourly efficiency charts and spread sheets, pointless BS emails

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Apparently, the more "cabbagy" they smell, it signifies a good digestive system.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"This thread has brightened my data blighted day. Thank you, Princess Peach

You're very welcome.

Science can be fun right?

Science is fun. Crunching numbers on staff utilisation and efficiency is NOT fun

Yay hourly efficiency charts and spread sheets, pointless BS emails

This is "am I squeezing every last second" out of my teaching staff and how can we do more with less to be 200% efficient, because 100% isn't enough

I still have 128 emails after having a few days off........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If i hold in i do an internal fart also did you know if you sit on your shoulders feet in the air you can suck in air with your arse and fart a tune?

Mr methane was famous for that "

Ever seen the Leonard Rossister film Le Petomane, based on the French performer Joseph Pujol?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women’s farts fucking stink as well

Mine are normally all bark and no bite. However I found eating red meat gives me the stinkers, as does being on the blob.

Apparently woman bum-burps contain more hydrogen sulfide which makes them smell.

Of course it mainly comes down to diet"

Eating chocolate makes my farts stink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread stinks!

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

"This thread has brightened my data blighted day. Thank you, Princess Peach

You're very welcome.

Science can be fun right?

Science is fun. Crunching numbers on staff utilisation and efficiency is NOT fun

Yay hourly efficiency charts and spread sheets, pointless BS emails

This is "am I squeezing every last second" out of my teaching staff and how can we do more with less to be 200% efficient, because 100% isn't enough

I still have 128 emails after having a few days off........ "

Yeah management like to sweat the assets don't they.

My company operates 24/7 I get around 90 per day, so after my rest days I have close to 400 to check before I start my shift

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you do you might spontaneously combust... Haven't you seen south park? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wondered why I've never had heartburn.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I'm so glad I don't live with anyone,the older I get the more windy I am. That's more than enough reason to never live with anyone ever again!

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