FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on stalker

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Spoke to a ‘couple’ on here and then was messaging on WhatsApp

I ended up ghosting as I felt something was off and needed to focus to finish my exams

I noticed they changed their display photo after 2 months of not talking. I assume back to his original face and not of the couple.

I then noticed a random person following me on Instagram and it turned out to be the same person.

I’ve since blocked him however he (while pretending to be the couple) wanted to meet up

I’m curious what he thought would’ve happened when I saw he obviously wasn’t a hot couple, or what he wanted and if anyone has had experiences like this before?

Also any advice would be greatly appreciated

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

My advice would be stick to chatting to people on here and don't move to WhatsApp until you have actually met them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s not a stalker.... what advise do you need if you have blocked

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I ended up ghosting as I felt something was off and needed to focus to finish my exams

Gut instinct

Use it more often. Plenty weirdos out there...

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Fuck, if that makes someone a stalker, I have a phone book full. Minus the insta-thing.

Annoying? yes.

All you can do is block and not be so quick to give your number out.

If it's a major headache for you, change phone numbers and learn the lesson.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You must have given your instagram to them for him to be able to follow you. Not really a stalker to follow someone on social media though, that’s kinda what it’s for

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't know how he got my instagram and he's been watching my stories and liking photos for the last 2 months. Also keeps messaging me on whatsapp despite me not replying

I'm just weary as he has images of me and can spread them/use them to catfish others

Anyone have any stories of actually meeting up with someone that turned out to be a complete different person?

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I had 1 guy try to add me on other platforms, met him once at a club, never spoke to him after then get a friend request a few weeks later. Block! It's creepy

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Once you give someone your phone number, people can often find you on other social media with it as you often have to connect a phone number to the account. Don't give people you don't trust with things like your real name your phone number. Maybe get a separate cheap phone and sim card just for fab if you really want to or stick to messengers like kik or telegram until you know someone well enough to share your phone number.

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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset

Once you give out your phone number it's not hard to find out info about people. So unless you are prepared for others to find other social media you are on etc, don't give out your number. Plus if you use same images across platforms, Google reverse image search will find them if your profiles are open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do have to be careful about giving numbers out as we have noticed once we swapped numbers with someone they come up as “someone you might know” on face book so we are very careful and only give out numbers if we are sure.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

"Once you give out your phone number it's not hard to find out info about people. So unless you are prepared for others to find other social media you are on etc, don't give out your number. Plus if you use same images across platforms, Google reverse image search will find them if your profiles are open."

I use a few of the same pics for tinder & POF so if I talk to someone on there & they see I'm here too they don't feel too embarrassed to mention fab

Phone number I don't give out & it's not connected to anything. This guy must have seen my profile due to mutual friends. I still think it's creepy as fook tho

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

"Spoke to a ‘couple’ on here and then was messaging on WhatsApp

I ended up ghosting as I felt something was off and needed to focus to finish my exams

I noticed they changed their display photo after 2 months of not talking. I assume back to his original face and not of the couple.

I then noticed a random person following me on Instagram and it turned out to be the same person.

I’ve since blocked him however he (while pretending to be the couple) wanted to meet up

I’m curious what he thought would’ve happened when I saw he obviously wasn’t a hot couple, or what he wanted and if anyone has had experiences like this before?

Also any advice would be greatly appreciated "

If they are genuinely stalking you, call the police. They will deal with it and take it very seriously.

As others have said though avoid people who very quickly want to move to other chat clients. On the system here you can safely report people who become painful.

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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset

I use a few of the same pics for tinder & POF so if I talk to someone on there & they see I'm here too they don't feel too embarrassed to mention fab

Phone number I don't give out & it's not connected to anything. This guy must have seen my profile due to mutual friends. I still think it's creepy as fook tho"

There is a local to me guy on here who actually hunted me on Facebook as he couldn't get through my filters on here. Poor boy must of spent some time looking as we have zero mutual fb friends, didn't have my name or any details!

For his effort I then blocked him on there

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I use a few of the same pics for tinder & POF so if I talk to someone on there & they see I'm here too they don't feel too embarrassed to mention fab

Phone number I don't give out & it's not connected to anything. This guy must have seen my profile due to mutual friends. I still think it's creepy as fook tho

For his effort I then blocked him on there

some go to extraordinary lengths don't they

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"Fuck, if that makes someone a stalker, I have a phone book full. Minus the insta-thing.

Annoying? yes.

All you can do is block and not be so quick to give your number out.

If it's a major headache for you, change phone numbers and learn the lesson.

Or use kik to chat off fab

It doesn't need your phone number just a username x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no clear legal definition for stalking. However, based on what you have posted it would not be sufficient to claim they are stalking you.

Block them on WhatsApp and all other sites- Instagram, Facebook etc.

I deal with a lot of stalking and harassment cases with work and this is the first advice you would be given should you report it.

On a personal level, I had unwanted attention from someone who would turn up at my door, sit outside my house etc and I went to court to gain a court order (I can’t type the name as it’s a banned word on here

) This meant that it became an arrest-able offence when he broke the terms, long story short, it made it quicker and easier to deal with legally.... but I’m not suggesting this is a route you should go down!

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

I had someone I knew for years and I considered to be a friend on here, rejoin under a different name and use the information he knew about me to pretend to be stalking me and also doing the same to another friend. When I asked this person before I knew who it actually was why he was doing it, he just answered just for shits and giggles

. My advice is be careful who you trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op , are you really afraid for your life?

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By *ive Bar Beauty QueenWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

"My advice would be stick to chatting to people on here and don't move to WhatsApp until you have actually met them. "

Wow that really bad advice sorry but it so is. The OP is better off NOT meeting them at all.

The best advice is to chat on cam with them so you know they are who they say they are and then maybe chat on the phone before meeting. The reason for the phone is if things go badly you have a starting point for the police to trace them over.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have had about 100 meets over the years and have never once chatted on cam and I have only twice chatted on the phone before a meet and that was to couples who were inviting me into their home for a party. I think different people have different preferences regarding contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My advice would be stick to chatting to people on here and don't move to WhatsApp until you have actually met them.

Wow that really bad advice sorry but it so is. The OP is better off NOT meeting them at all.

I will be honest this was not bad advice in any way, its sensible advice. It may not meet your own personal levels of risk mitigation but that is why each person assesses risk in their own way. What may be an acceptable level of tolerance to one is not suitable for another. But I must say again the advice was sound and your advice is not the best advice out there because it's based on your acceptance of risk.

To me each of you has offered good advice and it's up to the OP to choose what they think is suitable for themselves.

I hope this helps clarify rather than confuse but I don't like to see forum users criticised for sharing their balanced views.

Her x

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