FabSwingers.com forum: women who cant accomm?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

probably been asked before but.

if a woman cant accomm do people automatically think its cos they are quite obviously married and cheating??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it usually means they have a life outside Fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will assume whatever they like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

means they have kids cant accomadate y should they if a man wants her enough they would either take them to his house or pay for a hotel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they have children at home!

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

They may have kids or other dependants living with them, never judge a book...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Whenever I read 'cannot accommodate' I tend to suspect that they might not want to accommodate for some reason.

It's none of my business why.

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By *lam rockerMan
over a year ago

Tain

maybe they say it to cut out the idiots who think they're up for it 24/7.

I never assume anything about anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not neccessarily...

They just might not want males impinging too far on their domicile and pied a terre, or not want every tom dick or harry knocking the neighborhood up at 2am.

On the other hand they may just have kids... and NOT be wanting to play with them around.

...it'd be hasty to draw any kind of conclusions just from seeing can't accom.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can accommodate so doesn't count for me but would imagine that for safety reasons many women would not want to meet a strange man for the first time in her own home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(or anyone, really, shouldn't have just said single man!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can accommodate so doesn't count for me but would imagine that for safety reasons many women would not want to meet a strange man for the first time in her own home. "

it's safer to meet a strange man in your own home, than it is to at theirs

Wolf

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

I don't if a woman says she can't accommodate but I do if a man says it, I think that makes me judgemental and deserve a light spanking??? any one accommodate??? hehehe, xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I accom between 10am and 2pm never in the evening x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can accommodate so doesn't count for me but would imagine that for safety reasons many women would not want to meet a strange man for the first time in her own home.

it's safer to meet a strange man in your own home, than it is to at theirs

Wolf

Best to say you can't accomm and meet socially first, but I do get what you're saying - I was coming from more of an angle that if someone turns out to be a bit strange you don't want them knowing where you stay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/12 11:56:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can accommodate so doesn't count for me but would imagine that for safety reasons many women would not want to meet a strange man for the first time in her own home.

it's safer to meet a strange man in your own home, than it is to at theirs

Wolf

Deffo. Most girls have intelligence gathering abilities worthy of MI5 and usually filter 'em out pre-meet

... but there aren't any weirdies on here, are there...?

pmsl

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot assum cause i dont accommodate i'm married

I get guys asking why i dont just have guys here when the kids are out, as if i wasnt married id do that

I dont accommodate simply because im a single woman with 3 daughters, two of which are 18 and 20, i get messages from guys off here asking iof my kids swing too, so knowing some guys do think like that theres no chance im risking them knowing where i live, i dont want guys off here knowing where i live, once someone knows your address they could turn up whenever they want and thats not a risk im willing to take, i put my kids safty first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/12 11:56:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If im going to bring it to basics its because im a single woman i dont accommoade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot assum cause i dont accommodate i'm married

I get guys asking why i dont just have guys here when the kids are out, as if i wasnt married id do that

Snap my son comes first every time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot assum cause i dont accommodate i'm married

I get guys asking why i dont just have guys here when the kids are out, as if i wasnt married id do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot assum cause i dont accommodate i'm married

I get guys asking why i dont just have guys here when the kids are out, as if i wasnt married id do that

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"probably been asked before but.

if a woman cant accomm do people automatically think its cos they are quite obviously married and cheating??

It depends what the rest of their profile says. If it says "Bored housewife looking for dicreet men for a bit of extra fun on the side" I get a tad suspicious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see why 'Cannot accomodate' as a statement should stop a meet happening irregardless of whether the profile belongs to a female, a male or a couple.

If you want to meet someone that badly, a compromise should be able to be met, be it at a club or in a hotel or somewhere else mutually convenient and acceptable.

It should be treated a statement of preference and choice rather than as a statement of misintent of subterfuge as is often the case.

If you like the look of someone, do the legwork. The truth will generally out if there are more 'sinister' reasons behind it.

It is seen as a 'gender' thing - in a mans case, a good deal of people (not all by any means) will assume they are married / partnered, yet the same treatment isn't reserved for women.

That may be well founded, but as a blanket statement is does come across as slightly unfair.

How many times when a guy asks why he can't get meets do we hear the line 'the fact you cannot accom will put a lot off'

Can a guy not also have a choice as to who he does / doesn't have in his house ?

Course he can, but he is likely to be seen as a lepper by many for doing so.

BTW, I can and do accom so I'm not defending my own corner here, just commenting on a situation that is somewhat biased in it's make up.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

My profile sez I don't accommodate cos I can't be arsed to tidy the house and the cats own my bed - that's quite true, but I have invited guys here (both regular and one-offs), usually after I've done the bi-annual hoover and before the dust gets thick enough to write my name in

I reckon there'd be different responses if the OP was asking about single guys, yet they're just as likely to have kids or other rellies at home as single girls....I try not to assume, but I always ask why someone can't accom if they don't explain in their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could be a variety of reasons!

They could have kids at home, they might have had a bad experience last time they accommodated (i.e. Theft, abuse) maybe they don't want people turning up unexpected at all hours or maybe they just want to keep their swinging lifestyle seperate from their day to day lives!!

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Well for me personally i have no secrets from my partner and i got fed up with all the hard work it involves entertaining a single man in my home.

Ask any women two sets of bedding takes the shine off a naughty meet without the towels etc.

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

none of my business if they cant accom

no problem with me about it and should t

be women's choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do find on here tho, as i have posted before, i have found that it seems to be some kind of unwritten rule that woman accommodate on a meet, i get so many men on here talk and just seem to assum im going to invite them here and a lot are quite taken back when i tell them they not and reply with things like, well where are we going to meet then? as if its my job to find somewhere because im not having them here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"probably been asked before but.

if a woman cant accomm do people automatically think its cos they are quite obviously married and cheating??

No. Probably cos there are kids around.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

very interesting responses. it seems that most people DO NOT think its because they are hiding something or are cheating etc and seem to accept that its because of kids etc etc.

or just personal choice.

so my next question has to be..

if a man says he cant accomm, why is it most couples and women automatically assume they are cheating or hiding something????

i dont accomm because i have a teenage son and an elderly father at home...

does that not sound acceptable to people????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"very interesting responses. it seems that most people DO NOT think its because they are hiding something or are cheating etc and seem to accept that its because of kids etc etc.

or just personal choice.

so my next question has to be..

if a man says he cant accomm, why is it most couples and women automatically assume they are cheating or hiding something????

i dont accomm because i have a teenage son and an elderly father at home...

does that not sound acceptable to people????"

Because all men are untrustworthy bastards?

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"I think a lot assum cause i dont accommodate i'm married

I get guys asking why i dont just have guys here when the kids are out, as if i wasnt married id do that

"
exactly why i dont accomodate

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I dont't as I never question other people's choices/preferences

why, cause I wouldn't justify mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm single, live alone, don't have children, but I still don't accommodate. Why? Because I have my reasons and it annoys me when some men try to convince me otherwise. If they try to push it, they're gone from my to-do list lol

I may invite someone after I've met them a few times and feel comfortable with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think a lot assum cause i dont accommodate i'm married

I get guys asking why i dont just have guys here when the kids are out, as if i wasnt married id do that

exactly why i dont accomodate

exactly, and it s everyones choice if they do or not.

its just that does seem to be double standards where it seems ok to accept that a woman has a vaild reason not to accomm but a man is obviously cheating..

i have even had a woman tell me she wont meet unless i can accomm for that very reason, yet told me she doesnt accomm due to family. she pretty much called me a liar when i told her i couldnt and i offered to pay for hotel and go for a social meet first in a public place.

it just ticks me off thats all.....

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

This does tend to be one of those, one rile for men another for women topics to be fair

I put I can't accom but can't ever remember a guy asking if its because I am married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive accom'd since i first joined 2 yrs ago, BUT ive recently moved house, i now live on the same road as my parents and have the nosiest neighbours EVER! So now im gonna have to be really careful who i invite round AND i only ever meet when my children arnt home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live alone with my babies, but I also have a curtain twitcher 2 doors down and the cars are parked outside their house

(which is great if someone tries to break into our cars, not so if you have people calling round for any reason) I've had messages, saying 'your hubby will never find out as I'll be done in like 20 minutes' charming and declined..

If a single bloke cant accom, it usually comes up in the conversation, ie they have kids, are in a house share etc either way its fine with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got an e-mail from a gal a couple wks ago asking if i fancied a meet at mine that night!

Sadly i had to decline the offer as it was a friday and thats when i get access to my kids.

I was then bombarded by msges saying i must be married and playing away, when i tried to explain my situation and offer to accom ANY other time i was blocked!

To me my kids come first, even if it means i don't get any meets as i realise some gals can only meet at the wkends!

(if that makes sense)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm OP can't accomodate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't actually mean much either way, don't think we would accomodate on first meeting, just because we can doesn't mean we will... public place probably a club, and if there is a second meet then ours or theirs maybe, who knows

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hmmm OP can't accomodate

this is why i posted the OP.

that comment would suggest you see that a suspicious in some way.

which is an liiustration of exactly what i am trying to say.

i cant accomm because i have family at home... yet a lot of people assume that it is a lie and i may be cheating, yet if a woman says that they dont!!!!!!

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By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral

"This does tend to be one of those, one rile for men another for women topics to be fair

I put I can't accom but can't ever remember a guy asking if its because I am married

Is it because your Married?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they dont want to kidnap a hot bloke in their house..

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I would not wish to accommodate for a host of reasons including that I like to keep my home life separate from the scene.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would not wish to accommodate for a host of reasons including that I like to keep my home life separate from the scene.

yep.. me too.

but for women it seems acceptable yet for men it seems suspicious

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

some because:

they may not want a car passing their house one day with 4 guys in and one pointing & saying... ' last time I was in there I was gangbanging the bird of the house with 14 other guys'

the very same as some guys don't because:

they may not want a car passing with 4 females in and one pointing & saying... ' the guy of that house has a 3 inch cock fully erect'

some people can't keep their gobs shut...

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I would not wish to accommodate for a host of reasons including that I like to keep my home life separate from the scene.

yep.. me too.

but for women it seems acceptable yet for men it seems suspicious"
We would have to meet in a hotel lol

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

I used to accommodate but stopped a couple of years ago after a guy I met once kept turning up uninvited at my flat - I had to threaten to involve the police to stop it. Now living with my partner so only trusted friends come to play...and that's very rarely. Just easier to meet at clubs.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I do find on here tho, as i have posted before, i have found that it seems to be some kind of unwritten rule that woman accommodate on a meet, i get so many men on here talk and just seem to assum im going to invite them here and a lot are quite taken back when i tell them they not and reply with things like, well where are we going to meet then? as if its my job to find somewhere because im not having them here"

And timewasting if I am not willing to relent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"probably been asked before but.

if a woman cant accomm do people automatically think its cos they are quite obviously married and cheating??

No they are a woman who chooses not to accommodate for unstated reasons just the same as a man or a couple who can't either. We all have our reasons for not being able to do certain things and only the small minded jump to conclusions without facts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would not wish to accommodate for a host of reasons including that I like to keep my home life separate from the scene.

yep.. me too.

but for women it seems acceptable yet for men it seems suspiciousWe would have to meet in a hotel lol

xx"

is that an offer then???

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Why did you make it into a gender issue?

Surely it's just an accomodation issue.

Such a small minority of 'swingers' reply on the forums that anything said cannot be taken as statistically reliable.

I say I can accommodate but say NO to everyone that wants to meet. Eventually sommat decent comes my way ....it invariably does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its a mixture of protecting thier home from the guys who become pests and or worse stalkers and yes for those women who are playing away etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cannot accom as I am not in an idela situation but meeting elsewhere is not beyond me.

I don't even expect to meet at her place, some do, some don't. You have to build a comfort zone first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done a few meets at home during the day but with men I've met before socially or in a club. I don't accommodate because I share a house with my mum, who knows I swing. I just don't want to rub her nose in it.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've done a few meets at home during the day but with men I've met before socially or in a club. I don't accommodate because I share a house with my mum, who knows I swing. I just don't want to rub her nose in it.

You do nose that this will now become a marketed porn niche.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do nose that this will now become a marketed porn niche."

Haha well I'll have the royalties from it lol.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i think the point of this thread has become confused (or i have, wouldnt be the first time

)

the OP read as if he was questioning why married women dont get accused of playing away when they cant accom, tongue in cheek as its often what gets picked up on whenever a single guy posts on here

i dont think he was aksing WHY women cant accom

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i think the point of this thread has become confused (or i have, wouldnt be the first time

)

the OP read as if he was questioning why married women dont get accused of playing away when they cant accom, tongue in cheek as its often what gets picked up on whenever a single guy posts on here

i dont think he was aksing WHY women cant accom"

thank you. someone who understands my OP.

i knwo why some women cant accomm, its usually for the same reasosn i cant.. family at home.. no not a wife or GF, a son and my dad.

yet i would be treated with suspicion yet a woman with same reasons invariably isnt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It actually says on mine why I cannot accommodate

More likely women have children at home like me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yet i would be treated with suspicion yet a woman with same reasons invariably isnt."

It's just a numbers game, majority of couples with kids that split up, the woman gets custody, so expectations are set accordingly... it has also been alluded to more than once that men are not very fussy about the marital status of women, at least not as fussy as the single women are! don't know if that is true or not, but of course it's not true for all....

I have no idea what the numbers are, but I do wonder what percentage of COUPLES can't accomodate and does that mean they may be in a relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I realy hope that the OP had his tounge in his cheek when posting...........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think the point of this thread has become confused (or i have, wouldnt be the first time

)

the OP read as if he was questioning why married women dont get accused of playing away when they cant accom, tongue in cheek as its often what gets picked up on whenever a single guy posts on here

i dont think he was aksing WHY women cant accom"
Ignore my prev post, this is much more eloquent........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as l am a tad old fashioned the only assumption l make is that l will be providing the accommodation should a lady be interested in meeting beyond the first social meet.

Seems simple to me and l think if a woman gets some bloke asking questions then she should tell him to mind his own and jog on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not neccessarily...

They just might not want males impinging too far on their domicile and pied a terre, or not want every tom dick or harry knocking the neighborhood up at 2am.

On the other hand they may just have kids... and NOT be wanting to play with them around.

...it'd be hasty to draw any kind of conclusions just from seeing can't accom.

Wolf

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Well as l am a tad old fashioned the only assumption l make is that l will be providing the accommodation should a lady be interested in meeting beyond the first social meet.

Seems simple to me and l think if a woman gets some bloke asking questions then she should tell him to mind his own and jog on!"

yet men are required to provide a written statement, signed in triplicate, notorised by an upstanding pilar of community etc to prove they are actually single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since I don't accommodate I wouldn't question if a man doesn't either. I'm not really in the position to! Equality and all

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I haven't read the whole thread, but as wolf said once, my home is my territory and I feel safer here than going round to someone else's place, saying that I do not have kids, so therefore I only have myself to look after and care about, and my vetting system seems to be working so far

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't see why 'Cannot accomodate' as a statement should stop a meet happening irregardless of whether the profile belongs to a female, a male or a couple.