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Alternative nursery rhymes..

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By *tensonSwingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields

Hickory Dickory dock, 3 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one...and the other two got away with minor injuries.

---

Mary had a little lamb, it walked into a pylon, 3,00 volts shot up its arse and turned its wool to nylon.

---

Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore,

Humpty Dumpty fucked her some more,

All the kings horses and all the kings men,

Bent the bitch over and fucked her again.

---

Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and everywhere that Mary went

the boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt

'twas split right up the front

...But she didn't wear that one often

---

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. The structure of the wall was incorrect, So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

---

Jack and Jill went into town To fetch some chips and sweeties. He can't keep his heart rate down And she's got diabetes.

---

C'mon, lets hear your favourites...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jack and Gill went up the Hill to Fetch a pail of Water.

Jack got a shock

When Gill showed him her cock

cos Gill ws a Pre Opp transexual.........

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By *tensonSwingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields


"Jack and Gill went up the Hill to Fetch a pail of Water.

Jack got a shock

When Gill showed him her cock

cos Gill ws a Pre Opp transexual........."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ba ba agneux noir, avez vous de laine?

oui ma cher, oui ma cher, trois sacs plienes.

une pour le maitre, une pour la damme,

et une pour les enfants qui habitent loin.

alors?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ba ba agneux noir, avez vous de laine?

oui ma cher, oui ma cher, trois sacs plienes.

une pour le maitre, une pour la damme,

et une pour les enfants qui habitent loin.

alors?"
FFS do I have to use Google to translate this?

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

jack n jill went up the hil, to fetch a pail of water.

got no idea what they did up there, but jill now has a baby daughter.

mary had a little lamb

she kept it in a bucket

every time that it got out

the sheepdog used to...put it back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Georgie Porgie, Puddin' and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry,

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too, 'cause he's funny that way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

she had hope in her heart

but he was thick as a fart!

(ooops wrong thread?)

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By *tensonSwingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields


"ba ba agneux noir, avez vous de laine?

oui ma cher, oui ma cher, trois sacs plienes.

une pour le maitre, une pour la damme,

et une pour les enfants qui habitent loin.

alors?"

Tres bon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Je vous priez d'accepter mes tres sinceres remerciements and salutations.xxx

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By *tensonSwingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields


"Je vous priez d'accepter mes tres sinceres remerciements and salutations.xxx "

mange tout Rodney, mange tout

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Je pensais que c'était le thread comptine et pas le thread de « Let's tous les post en français »

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Je vous priez d'accepter mes tres sinceres remerciements and salutations.xxx

mange tout Rodney, mange tout "

anytime

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By *tensonSwingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields


"Je pensais que c'était le thread comptine et pas le thread de « Let's tous les post en français » "

wir tun können, um Deutsch, wenn Sie mögen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

wir tun können, um Deutsch, wenn Sie mögen?"

Hektar Hektar sehr gut!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb it's fleece was as white as snow, she took it to cliff edge and let the fucker go.

Mary had a motorbike its seat was back to front and every time she pulled the brake the seat went up her c..t.

Old mother hubbard went to her cupboard to fetch her poor doggy a bone, when she bent over rover took over and gave her a bone of her own, hehhhehehehe

In days of old when men were bold and women weren't invented. Men drilled holes in telegraph poles and had to be contented.

Little boy blue on a burning line having a game of cricket, the ball rolled up his trouser leg and stumped his middle wicket.

xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet feeling all sad and forlorn.

It wasn't the spider that sat down beside her but little boy blue with the horn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twas on the good shop Venus by Christ you should have seen us. The Figurehead was a maid in bed sucking the captains penis.

The cabin boys name was Tipper a dirty foul mouthed nipper. He stuffed his arse with bits of glass and circumcised the skipper.

Now the First Mates name was Topper my God he had a whopper. Once round his neck then round the deck and up his arse for a stopper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sooo shouldnt have read these lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Diddle Diddle

the cat did a piddle

all over the bathroom mat

the little dog laughed

to see such fun

then piddled all over the cat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumty had a great fall

or was he pushed ?

The West Midland Crime Prevention Squad are looking for suspects..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little miss muffet

sat on a tuffet

friggin herself all day

along came a spider

who crept up inside her

and nibbled her g-spot away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary Mary quite contrary...

shave your pussy it's too damn hairy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mary had a little lamb

its fleece was black as charcoal

she fed it vindaloo one day

and know its lost its arsehole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb

It's fleece was full of fleas

But worse than that the little bugger had foot and mouth disease

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mary had a little watch, she swallowed it one day. She took some castor oil to pass the time away. The castor oil it did not work the time it did not pass....so if you want to know the time just look up at the bell tower.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was black as soot

And everywhere that Mary went

His sooty foot 'e put...

The boy stood on the burning deck, when all but he had fled...

Twat...!!

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By *averiMan
over a year ago

Swindon to bristol

Mary had a little lamb

She kept it in a bucket

Then one day the thing got out

The bull dog tried to fuck it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone else reading certain posts in Judge Dread's voice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooh the grand old Duke of York, the same one from back then,

his men all found the Internet so joined as single men,

now some just wanked on cam

and some fucked Mary's Lamb

but Marys lamb was not a yew but actually a ram!

Oh the grand old Duke was sad, and then became quite mad

cause most were having bareback sex with Sally off of Fab

Now Sally had a glitch

that caused a nasty itch

but Sally never told a soul

the cheeky naughty bitch.

The Lamb he got the blame

(which really was a shame)

10,000 men had rogered him

who never knew his name

Oh the grand old.......

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By *tensonSwingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields


"Anyone else reading certain posts in Judge Dread's voice?"

I am....the Law!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Boy stood on the burning deck

Picking his nose like mad

He rolled them up

Into a ball

And flicked them at his Dad!

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By *lassic1Man
over a year ago

bellshill

There was a young man from kent

Whos cock was exceedingly bent

to save him some trouble he put it in double.

And instead of coming he went.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have story how snow white named the 7 dwarfs does that count lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mary had a little lamb,she also had a bear,ive often seen her little lamb,but never seen her bare

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Mary had a little pig

She couldn't stop it gruntin'

She took it down the garden path

And kicked the little runt in.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Mary had a little lamb

her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her

between two chunks of bread

Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the pieman

"What have u got there?"

Said the pieman unto Simon

Pies you dickhead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oooh the grand old Duke of York, the same one from back then,

his men all found the Internet so joined as single men,

now some just wanked on cam

and some fucked Mary's Lamb

but Marys lamb was not a yew but actually a ram!

Oh the grand old Duke was sad, and then became quite mad

cause most were having bareback sex with Sally off of Fab

Now Sally had a glitch

that caused a nasty itch

but Sally never told a soul

the cheeky naughty bitch.

The Lamb he got the blame

(which really was a shame)

10,000 men had rogered him

who never knew his name

Oh the grand old.......

"

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