FabSwingers.com forum: Sexual Harassment

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't know how many of you have seen the meme about a woman in an office and a good looking guy peers in and she's very attentive but then when a guy she thinks is ugly speaks to her, she's like "Human Resources!!!"

So (and be honest) do you think sometimes as a woman you allow a guy that you fancy to get away with things you wouldn't allow for other guys (that you don't fancy)

Thus not really having a standard barometer for things like sexual harassment???

Just honest thoughts and opinions on the topic, much thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There seems to be a theme with your threads. This could have gone on the double standards thread you started two seconds before this one.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

That statement has conflict in it.

It won’t be a sexual harassment if two people enjoy flirting with eachother at work. That’s mutual consent so no harassment there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk about double standards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sexual harrasment isn't sexual harrasment if the guy is good looking??? Or we allow sexual harrasment because the guy is good looking???

The idea of sexual harrasment is that it's not wanted hence the "harrasment" part, not really sure why looks has to do with anything?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There seems to be a theme with your threads. This could have gone on the double standards thread you started two seconds before this one. "

Several people have noticed the theme.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"That statement has conflict in it.

It won’t be a sexual harassment if two people enjoy flirting with eachother at work. That’s mutual consent so no harassment there

Are you sure about that? What happens if post event one of them changes there mind and thinks.... "actually, I didn't enjoy that after all"?

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right."

Or his?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There seems to be a theme with your threads. This could have gone on the double standards thread you started two seconds before this one. "

I agree, but this is more specific which opens up more questions, so I thought it deserved it's own topic, if you know what I mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his? "

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

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By *nkforthekinkMan
over a year ago

london/fareham

"Talk about double standards "

Hahahaha

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps."

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

Yes, it is (which is why I don't, generally). But what's worse, missing an opportunity to flirt or making someone feel uncomfortable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

Yes, it is (which is why I don't, generally). But what's worse, missing an opportunity to flirt or making someone feel uncomfortable?"

I think that's it exactly and if someone isnt reciprocating or has made it clear they feel uncomfortable it should stop immediately regardless of the sex or attractiveness of the person.

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

Yes, it is (which is why I don't, generally). But what's worse, missing an opportunity to flirt or making someone feel uncomfortable?"

You're making me uncomfortable with this line of questioning

But thank you for clearing that up though

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

Yes, it is (which is why I don't, generally). But what's worse, missing an opportunity to flirt or making someone feel uncomfortable?

I think that's it exactly and if someone isnt reciprocating or has made it clear they feel uncomfortable it should stop immediately regardless of the sex or attractiveness of the person."

I think people prioritise their desire to flirt over other people's comfort. That needs to stop. If not now, 20+ years ago.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

Yes, it is (which is why I don't, generally). But what's worse, missing an opportunity to flirt or making someone feel uncomfortable?

You're making me uncomfortable with this line of questioning

But thank you for clearing that up though

Sometimes discomfort is warranted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

Yes, it is (which is why I don't, generally). But what's worse, missing an opportunity to flirt or making someone feel uncomfortable?

I think that's it exactly and if someone isnt reciprocating or has made it clear they feel uncomfortable it should stop immediately regardless of the sex or attractiveness of the person."

Totally this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone fancy a cup of tea?

Suggest you watch the cup of tea consent video if you struggle to know the difference between someone consenting and not consenting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The word you're looking for is consent.

If in doubt, don't.

Hope that helps.

Consent is a bit hard when it comes to flirting don't you think?

I'm quite tone deaf when being flirted with so I wouldn't know if she was just being nice and wouldn't want to overstep my bounds by making those advances

Even if the flirting is reciprocated, consent is still required at any and all levels. Nothing should be assumed without it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Anyone fancy a cup of tea?

Suggest you watch the cup of tea consent video if you struggle to know the difference between someone consenting and not consenting "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god yeah. I was on about this earlier. Last year the very handsome vet brushed my nipple through my top, possibly accidentally but it was quite slowly as I was holding my bunny for her nails to be clipped. If he’d been someone I didn’t find attractive I would’ve said, watch your hands mate and given him a stern look!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh god yeah. I was on about this earlier. Last year the very handsome vet brushed my nipple through my top, possibly accidentally but it was quite slowly as I was holding my bunny for her nails to be clipped. If he’d been someone I didn’t find attractive I would’ve said, watch your hands mate and given him a stern look!"

Thanks for your honesty, I appreciate your contribution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone fancy a cup of tea?

Suggest you watch the cup of tea consent video if you struggle to know the difference between someone consenting and not consenting "

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances. "

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection. "

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection. "

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out. "

I'm sure it happens (and isn't just whataboutery).

Even if it is whataboutery. Sexual harassment is unacceptable and should be stopped. Period.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

I'm sure it happens (and isn't just whataboutery).

Even if it is whataboutery. Sexual harassment is unacceptable and should be stopped. Period."

I don’t doubt it happens at all, it was the use of the word often that made me wonder.

I know of two male friends who were sexually harassed and both times they were take seriously and treated sensitively, so I was wondering who isn’t doing so, regardless of gender it needs calling out.

Far too many times people make it about men vs women rather than sexual harassment as a whole.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

I'm sure it happens (and isn't just whataboutery).

Even if it is whataboutery. Sexual harassment is unacceptable and should be stopped. Period.

I don’t doubt it happens at all, it was the use of the word often that made me wonder.

Far too many times people make it about men vs women rather than sexual harassment as a whole. "

Absolutely!

It's a problem. It needs to stop.

If in doubt, particularly if there's a power differential, leave it.

No specific pronouns needed. Him, her, them, zir... Everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out. "

Women heavy environments such as factories.

It's often seen as a joke when women sexually harass men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

I'm sure it happens (and isn't just whataboutery).

Even if it is whataboutery. Sexual harassment is unacceptable and should be stopped. Period.

I don’t doubt it happens at all, it was the use of the word often that made me wonder.

Far too many times people make it about men vs women rather than sexual harassment as a whole. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

Women heavy environments such as factories.

It's often seen as a joke when women sexually harass men. "

By sick people no doubt.

I’ve never come across anyone who has seen sexual harassment towards men as a joke, so I’m surprised it happens often.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

Women heavy environments such as factories.

It's often seen as a joke when women sexually harass men.

By sick people no doubt.

I’ve never come across anyone who has seen sexual harassment towards men as a joke, so I’m surprised it happens often. "

I'm aware it's a thing.

The patriarchy hurts men, too. Again.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I don't know how many of you have seen the meme about a woman in an office and a good looking guy peers in and she's very attentive but then when a guy she thinks is ugly speaks to her, she's like "Human Resources!!!"

So (and be honest) do you think sometimes as a woman you allow a guy that you fancy to get away with things you wouldn't allow for other guys (that you don't fancy)

Thus not really having a standard barometer for things like sexual harassment???

Just honest thoughts and opinions on the topic, much thanks "

That scenario isn’t sexual harassment it’s favouritism, sexual harassment is far more sinister than smiling at someone you fancy and growling at someone d you find less attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

I'm sure it happens (and isn't just whataboutery).

Even if it is whataboutery. Sexual harassment is unacceptable and should be stopped. Period.

I don’t doubt it happens at all, it was the use of the word often that made me wonder.

Far too many times people make it about men vs women rather than sexual harassment as a whole. "

It should never be about men Vs women. Sexual harrasment is wrong, no matter the person's gender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right.

Or his?

For “equality” sake.

It’s both the male & females right to have a problem if someone is making advances.

Well yes... Young males are often sexually harassed in environments with many women. They are often embarrassed or more and should get the same protection.

Who is not giving them the same protection?

And I’d like to know where young males are often being sexually harassed, if it’s happening often it needs calling out.

I'm sure it happens (and isn't just whataboutery).

Even if it is whataboutery. Sexual harassment is unacceptable and should be stopped. Period.

I don’t doubt it happens at all, it was the use of the word often that made me wonder.

Far too many times people make it about men vs women rather than sexual harassment as a whole.

It should never be about men Vs women. Sexual harrasment is wrong, no matter the person's gender. "

Couldn’t agree more.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

When I left school at 16 I had a Saturday job in a butcher’s I worked out the back making pies corned beef slices etc etc apart from me an a bloke who was due to retire it was all female 5 of them to be precise And they absolutely tortured me like saying are you a virgin have you got pubes yet have you ever seen a reel woman you get my drift I just laughed it of but looking back it was perhaps a bit inappropriate I personally loved the attention although they often made me blush happy days the things I learnt like how ladys liked there clits traded by hubby

certainly an education

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a issue with what a female housing officer had said to me when i complained of sexual harassment by another tenant. She said it's not illegal for him to fancy you. I said its illegal for him to continue turning up at my door all all hours after i have told him i'm not interested and have taken out 2 sexual harassment orders against him. Nothing serious was done to put a stop too it by police or housing until 4yrs later when the number of woman he was harassing went up to 6 of us.

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By *ovebjsMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Always let the woman start the flirting

Then there is no conflict

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always let the woman start the flirting

Then there is no conflict

Flirting still doesn't constitute consent

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

By definition, contact needs to be unwanted to be harassment. So if a woman fancies someone and welcomes flirting then it isn't harassment. That doesn't mean attractive people can't sexually harrass someone though

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"If a guy a woman fancies makes advances or flirts and she's happy with that then it's consensual.

In she doesn't fancy makes advances and flirts and she's not happy with it that's her right."

Pretty much this really!

It works both ways though - I wouldn’t ‘throw myself’ at I guy a fancied at work or elsewhere if I knew/suspected he didn’t feel the same.

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By *irty PrettyWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

1) We don’t go to HR just because someone speaks to us. I haven’t seen this meme but I think you’re either misrepresenting it, or it’s a somewhat incel-y meme.

2) Sexual harassment, by its legal definition, is “unwanted” conduct. So yes, what one thinks of the person may influence whether one considers it harassment or not. That’s not a double standard, that’s literally part of the definition.

3) Maybe just don’t hit on people at work, whatever your gender and whatever their gender. It’s never appropriate, and however good-looking you are, or however much you think they like you or would be “up for it”, you don’t know for sure your advances will be welcome. It doesn’t take much to ruin someone’s working life and make them not want to come to work. I’ve been sexually harassed at several jobs and even the one that was almost 20 years ago still makes me feel physically sick now.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

"Anyone fancy a cup of tea?

Suggest you watch the cup of tea consent video if you struggle to know the difference between someone consenting and not consenting "

That video was a total eye opener for me. I just always kind of assumed that all English people wanted a cup of tea. I've been Mrs Doyling people for years. Although I'm still a bit perplexed over why the Police have taken such an intrest in our tea drinking habits?

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