FabSwingers.com forum: I feel for the women...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Someone explained to me recently how many messages all you girls actually get and it's no wonder it's like playing the lottery..

It's whether or not you're lucky to get your message opened. It's quite ridiculous really, just sucks the quality out of this site.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Not to mention the abuse they receive too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone explained to me recently how many messages all you girls actually get and it's no wonder it's like playing the lottery..

It's whether or not you're lucky to get your message opened. It's quite ridiculous really, just sucks the quality out of this site. "

Durrrrum Durrrum ...... waiting on a woman messaging you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah can't imagine the abuse is fun.

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By *ntheshadows1975Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Not to mention the abuse they receive too."

I would never dream of giving anyone abuse. I'm always super nice but never ever get a reply. I must just get deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh please don't play to the princesses!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh please don't play to the princesses!

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By *-sas-sinWoman
over a year ago

Arse end of the universe

I tell blokes I'm just here to chat, they soon F^*k off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always try to respond but it can take time. I always have people thanking us for actually responding so i know it’s tricky for single men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it. I deserve all the attention.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh please don't play to the princesses!

What does that mean?

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

I answer the polite guys. Bin the morons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh please don't play to the princesses!

Presses like button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women tell you they have hundreds and thousands of messages as an excuse to ignore you

Seriously, my inbox is not that busy

and that's how I like it. Quality not quantity

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

"Women tell you they have hundreds and thousands of messages as an excuse to ignore you

Seriously, my inbox is not that busy

and that's how I like it. Quality not quantity "

Don't worry love the fab engineer crew will get right on that and fix your inbox issue, you will be spamming delete in no time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women tell you they have hundreds and thousands of messages as an excuse to ignore you

Seriously, my inbox is not that busy

and that's how I like it. Quality not quantity "

I agree. We get plenty but can still get through them easy enough although I know women here that do say they get literally 800 a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women tell you they have hundreds and thousands of messages as an excuse to ignore you

Seriously, my inbox is not that busy

and that's how I like it. Quality not quantity

Don't worry love the fab engineer crew will get right on that and fix your inbox issue, you will be spamming delete in no time"

Please no! I think I can manage!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women tell you they have hundreds and thousands of messages as an excuse to ignore you

Seriously, my inbox is not that busy

and that's how I like it. Quality not quantity

I agree. We get plenty but can still get through them easy enough although I know women here that do say they get literally 800 a day

Yeah I hear ya, can kind of understand a substantial amount of messages if you're new to the site but I can't see that figure being consistent over a prolongued period

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Oh please don't play to the princesses!

Now where did I put my tiara

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh please don't play to the princesses!

What does that mean? "

The princesses who tell you how badly they have it...boo fucking hoo!! They have filters they can use and smart people don't have any problems

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

It varies though, strict filters and low sexual content pics and profile mean I get maybe 5-10 new people messages a day

When I was hunting and had open filters and highly sexual pics and profile I easily had over 400 new messages a day with thousands of views

Its easy to see how people get looked over or missed by the sheer volume of attention received

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It varies though, strict filters and low sexual content pics and profile mean I get maybe 5-10 new people messages a day

When I was hunting and had open filters and highly sexual pics and profile I easily had over 400 new messages a day with thousands of views

Its easy to see how people get looked over or missed by the sheer volume of attention received "

Love the fact you use when ...you were hunting lol.......yeh I find my messages all bump up when looking for meets .....in the good old days and when I had no filters on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone explained to me recently how many messages all you girls actually get and it's no wonder it's like playing the lottery..

It's whether or not you're lucky to get your message opened. It's quite ridiculous really, just sucks the quality out of this site. "

*winks to the gallery*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone explained to me recently how many messages all you girls actually get and it's no wonder it's like playing the lottery..

It's whether or not you're lucky to get your message opened. It's quite ridiculous really, just sucks the quality out of this site. "

I think you’re right OP, they’ve had it toughest through this global pandemic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Someone explained to me recently how many messages all you girls actually get and it's no wonder it's like playing the lottery..

It's whether or not you're lucky to get your message opened. It's quite ridiculous really, just sucks the quality out of this site.

I think you’re right OP, they’ve had it toughest through this global pandemic "

Speak for themselves. Some of us are in danger of blue balls hahahahaha

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

"Oh please don't play to the princesses!

What does that mean?

The princesses who tell you how badly they have it...boo fucking hoo!! They have filters they can use and smart people don't have any problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m still getting around 10 messages a day. Fuck knows how they’re slipping through my age filters

They must be people that have messaged me previously and they’re doing the rounds again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you feel sorry for the really straight men , who refuse to block single men.... but moan about gay/bi men emailing and winking at them also?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone actually know the ratio of men to woman on fab I have seen a massive influx of gentlemen lately and not really that many ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a myth... I've received 1 message today lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a myth... I've received 1 message today lol"

Brace yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women tell you they have hundreds and thousands of messages as an excuse to ignore you

Seriously, my inbox is not that busy

and that's how I like it. Quality not quantity

I agree. We get plenty but can still get through them easy enough although I know women here that do say they get literally 800 a day

Yeah I hear ya, can kind of understand a substantial amount of messages if you're new to the site but I can't see that figure being consistent over a prolongued period "

I find if you update new pics a lot and are active in the forums your profile gets a lot more attention and the messages come, also changing status generates messages too. You can use the filters and those that are rude or abusive are like water off a ducks back to me doesn’t phase me in the slightest x xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I do feel for those who get many messages. It must be terrible for them. What an awful problem to have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I answer the polite guys. Bin the morons. "

I do too most of the time, however, it is often easier to not respond if you are not actually interested in the person's profile with a view to potentially meet them. As I have had many guys assume they were going to get to meet me just because I was polite and responded to their messages & questions!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've actually had 2 messages from women this week.

(that's an annual record!)

The first one I replied to politely as I'm the opposite of everything she claimed to want on her profile. Not sure she appreciated the reply even if it was light-hearted.

The other message I replied to and then 24 hours later "she" went AWOL and the profile appeared to disappear. I'm guessing probably a dude having a wank...

So nah I have no sympathy for women who get loads of messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I do feel for those who get many messages. It must be terrible for them. What an awful problem to have

If only there was a way to stop them.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Theres no need to receive 100's of messages unless you want to. Its called using filters. So all this crap about I cant reply to everyone is just another oh look at me...like someone said princesses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

*woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tell blokes I'm just here to chat, they soon F^*k off "

I was told this morning that I might as well leave the site because I’m not looking for anybody new to meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

Hardly, I think they know from experience that there’s no need to have tons of messages if you set your filters and they realise some women just like to complain, while at the same time loving the attention.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

Because you don't have to receive loads of messages if you don't wish too. I dont really get it thats all. Filters stop this its not rocket science. We are all in control of our profiles. I think I've had 2 messages today. God bless the filters...

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

But can you show me any woman on this thread that has moaned about getting too many messages. It is men moaning on women's behalf I think you will find.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

You need to leave common sense out of the the forums...... the truth is not wanted here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

But can you show me any woman on this thread that has moaned about getting too many messages. It is men moaning on women's behalf I think you will find."

You're right; but that's because the ladies who posted are sensible and have their filters set

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

But can you show me any woman on this thread that has moaned about getting too many messages. It is men moaning on women's behalf I think you will find.

You're right; but that's because the ladies who posted are sensible and have their filters set

More often than not its men or couples that start these types of threads then somehow its woman's fault. Also no one deserves abuse, filters or no filters.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Two separate issues.

1. Whether blocking results in a better site experience.

2. Whether the way people message each other is acceptable.

1. Yes and no. The search function doesn't cope with the volume involved if you live in a large area and are looking for men. But you get way less nonsense and abuse (at the moment everyone is blocked, because pandemic).

2. Of course it bloody isn't. Basic manners are sorely lacking and abuse is common. (And this is the fault of the recipients, somehow, and/or we act like abuse happens without the intervention of those doing the abusing)

It's an interesting insight into the common psychology here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

But can you show me any woman on this thread that has moaned about getting too many messages. It is men moaning on women's behalf I think you will find.

You're right; but that's because the ladies who posted are sensible and have their filters set

More often than not its men or couples that start these types of threads then somehow its woman's fault. Also no one deserves abuse, filters or no filters."

Where does it say that people deserve abuse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My inbox

Is like andrex... It goes on and on and on.

Lockdown.. I had to go to China

Got to admit bamboo paper is lush. I used it on the abusive messages. Its so thick.

Now its slow.. Rumer has it.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

There's actually two very simple answers to this one:

If women set their filters accordingly they'd minimise but not eradicate the load on their inbox

If more men started to realise how the site actually works and didn't throw a hissy fit or look to blame anyone but themselves for their false expectations of the site not being met - their experience would be a lot more positive.

In summary if all sides of the equation learned how to use the site to their best advantage the world would be a lot happier place.

Sadly I suspect that utopia will never be found.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"There's actually two very simple answers to this one:

If women set their filters accordingly they'd minimise but not eradicate the load on their inbox

In summary if all sides of the equation learned how to use the site to their best advantage the world would be a lot happier place.

Sadly I suspect that utopia will never be found."

Your clavicle is a kind of utopia.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"There are lots of women bashing women on this thread.

It was a man that was the OP so I am not quite sure why there are at least 4 winning saying that its because they are princesses.

Filters are marvellous, two messages all week.... bliss

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"There's actually two very simple answers to this one:

If women set their filters accordingly they'd minimise but not eradicate the load on their inbox

In summary if all sides of the equation learned how to use the site to their best advantage the world would be a lot happier place.

Sadly I suspect that utopia will never be found."

You said "eradicate the load"

That's what the mensies are hoping to achieve by sending the messages to start with

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"There's actually two very simple answers to this one:

If women set their filters accordingly they'd minimise but not eradicate the load on their inbox

In summary if all sides of the equation learned how to use the site to their best advantage the world would be a lot happier place.

Sadly I suspect that utopia will never be found.

You said "eradicate the load"

That's what the mensies are hoping to achieve by sending the messages to start with "

Trust you

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Well I know what I’d prefer. To get messages or not get messages. Now let me have a think about it for a minute?

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By *ary Mary not so hairyWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Its often the ones intent on blowing smoke up your arse that after the most petulant when you decline and they don't get what they want.

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By *uHorny1Man
over a year ago

Cannock

A few women I know have offered me the chance to view their profiles and its horrific. Obviously not everyone is the same, but they all het loads of messages, winks and friend invites (often without bothering to message). First messages are frequently crude or obscene and often abusive, just because the woman isn't what they are looking for.Some messages even suggest illegal acts. When messages get a negative response, replies are abusive.

Treatment of women who express that they are submissive is particularly awful. It doesn't mean they are submissive to all and it's not a licence to be humiliate or be misogynistic.

None of this is acceptable. A basic standard of manners and respect is all that is required. If you don't get a positive reaction and move on with good grace. I've messaged women because I've thought I was just what they were looking for from reading their profile. No need to pester or harang them when I realise I'm not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simply put we often get messages faster than we can answer them so the unread count steadily climbs.

I tend to do a mass delete now and then as it gets too stressful.

I’ve been pretty lucky and have never had anyone get nasty with me for saying no.

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