FabSwingers.com forum: Stand-up material

By *ntilogically OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere between Newport and Cardiff

We probably all have that one friend who not only does crazy funny things, but tells the stories in such a way that has you reduced to tears, so that you wonder if he should be a comedian. I have these moments myself, usually when I'm having a bit of a rant or talking about some of the more bizarre moments in my life. Then I'm suddenly aware that someone is laughing and telling me I'm funny, when perhaps I was actually quite angry.

So if you had to do a stand-up routine based on an experience of your own, which one would you choose?

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A druken camping trip that involved a naked d*unken scotsman having a crap in front of me and my best mate.

It sounds wrong and it is but the whole story told properly always makes me chuckle.

By *ntilogically OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere between Newport and Cardiff

My dad is totally deaf in one ear and going deaf in the other, and back when we lived in the same house he would have the TV volume ridiculously loud when I was in work, then use headphones when I was home.

One night I was watching TV in my room, and during the quieter moments of the programme I could hear moaning and groaning, which I took to be the couple next door shagging. I didn't think much of it, until it came time for bed. I switched my TV off and went to use the bathroom, but as soon as I got onto the landing I realised the noise was actually coming from my dad's room.

There had already been quite a few occasions when he had put headphones on and settled down to watch something downstairs, but hadn't actually plugged them in properly, so the volume was blasting out and I had to rush down and scream at him to plug them in. Now it seems the dozy bugger had done it while watching porn in his room, but I couldn't go rushing in his room if it meant seeing him masturbating, and he wouldn't hear me if knocked because he was wearing headphones.

I went back to bed and hoped he'd be done in 10 mins or so, but an hour went by and still it went on. By now I was thinking the neighbours must be hearing this, and probably think it's me who's watching porn. I ended up having to bang on his bedroom door and hope he heard, which he did eventually.

I have never been so mortified as I was that night.