FabSwingers.com forum: Humour me....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I haven't done one of these in ages.

So let's see if we can get to 175 by 9.30pm

You can post anything, have a chat, say hi or tell a joke.

Please play nice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And go.....

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

Evening Lorna

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Evening Lorna

And a good evening to you too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In

In what?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

My hovercraft is full of eels

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I’ve missed the socks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In

In what?

In in in

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My hovercraft is full of eels

Urm id consult a doctor.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve missed the socks"

They have missed you too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snog

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In

In what?

In in in

In out shake it all about.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Snog"

Bump elbows.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

I dont understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just about to go and get another cold one from the fridge

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

I dont understand

Some things we are not supposed to understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snog"

Feed him a decent chocolate

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Good evening Lorna.. hello everyone.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the 'no-bell' prize."

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Good evening Lorna.. hello everyone.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the 'no-bell' prize."

God

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two leaves on a tree which one was the rude one

The one that blew off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/10/20 19:28:44]

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"In

Glib

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't done one of these in ages.

So let's see if we can get to 175 by 9.30pm

You can post anything, have a chat, say hi or tell a joke.

Please play nice

Cosy looking socks OP

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

You got to give the Make a Wish Foundation credit, they know how to work to a deadline.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

[Removed by poster at 10/10/20 19:31:11]

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

Mio hovercraft e pieno di anguille

(I translated a bit of Monty Python when learning Italian

)

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

"Good evening Lorna.. hello everyone.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the 'no-bell' prize."

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

Mio hovercraft e pieno di anguille

(I translated a bit of Monty Python when learning Italian

I have no idea of the circumstances under which my son found it necessary to translate into Norwegian

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

I dont understand

Some things we are not supposed to understand

Ohhh

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By *he BWCMan
over a year ago

Stafford

What do you call a man with a small penis?........

Justin.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good evening Lorna.. hello everyone.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the 'no-bell' prize."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Two leaves on a tree which one was the rude one

The one that blew off "

I like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I haven't done one of these in ages.

So let's see if we can get to 175 by 9.30pm

You can post anything, have a chat, say hi or tell a joke.

Please play nice

Cosy looking socks OP

Thanks

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By *ugga MannMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

Two elephants fall off a cliff. Boom boom

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

I dont understand

Some things we are not supposed to understand

There's a series of beginner language videos, the first one they teach you hello, goodbye, how are you, I'm well, good day, etc... And platypus. "Because look at him"

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Two elephants fall off a cliff. Boom boom

A drumset falls off a cliff ... badum tish

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How did the elephant get up the tree?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

I dont understand

Some things we are not supposed to understand

I will not buy this record ... it is scratched

This is a tobacconist

Ahh ... I will not buy this tobacconist... it is scratched

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man hijacked a lorry of Viagra the police said they are looking for a hardened criminal.

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By *he BWCMan
over a year ago

Stafford

What do you call a woman with a hatchet?

The axe wife

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"And go....."
hello my lovely xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oi Oi mother fookers I’m enjoying the seaside say hi or bye

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And go.....hello my lovely xxx"

Hello to you too. X

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

Mio hovercraft e pieno di anguille

(I translated a bit of Monty Python when learning Italian

)

I have no idea of the circumstances under which my son found it necessary to translate into Norwegian

You never know, you might find yourself in a situation where you need it one day

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

I like peaches

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"My hovercraft is full of eels

My son once learned to say this in Norwegian

I dont understand

Some things we are not supposed to understand

Ohhh

Its from Monty Python

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Police say hot air balloon theft is on the rise

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"My hovercraft is full of eels

Urm id consult a doctor. "

It's from a Monty Python sketch, Hungarian Phrasebook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did the elephant get up the tree?"

It climbed up its own trunk?

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By *urious_Female89Woman
over a year ago

great yarmouth

Hello Lorna!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hello Lorna!

Hello gorgeous.

How's your night going? X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How did the elephant get up the tree?

It climbed up its own trunk?

Nope it sat on an acorn and waited for it to grow.

How did the elephant get down from the tree?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Police say hot air balloon theft is on the rise"

Police also arrested 2 guys in separate incidents.

One for stealing fireworks, the other for stealing a car battery

They charged one but let the other off

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"How did the elephant get up the tree?

It climbed up its own trunk?

Nope it sat on an acorn and waited for it to grow.

How did the elephant get down from the tree?"

You get down from a duck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DIG IF YOU WILL THE PICTURE!

OF YOU AND I ENGAGED IN A KISS!

THE SWEAT OF YOUR BODY COVERS ME

CAN YOU MY DARLING

CAN YOU PICTURE THIS?

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Ok Lorna. I’ll try again.......

An old married couple are in church one Sunday… when the woman turns to her husband and says, “I’ve just let out a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”

The husband turned to her and says, “Replace the battery in your hearing aid.”

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By *urious_Female89Woman
over a year ago

great yarmouth

"Hello Lorna!

Hello gorgeous.

How's your night going? X"

Its a bit naff as I'm rocking a super bad hangover..!

other than that its all good

How is yours? X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How did the elephant get up the tree?

It climbed up its own trunk?

Nope it sat on an acorn and waited for it to grow.

How did the elephant get down from the tree?

You get down from a duck"

Obviously it sat on a leaf and waited for autumn.

Why do crocodiles have flat nose's?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok Lorna. I’ll try again.......

An old married couple are in church one Sunday… when the woman turns to her husband and says, “I’ve just let out a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”

The husband turned to her and says, “Replace the battery in your hearing aid.”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hello Lorna!

Hello gorgeous.

How's your night going? X

Its a bit naff as I'm rocking a super bad hangover..!

other than that its all good

How is yours? X"

Oh well at least you had fun.

Rather boring day but we have just booked a break away for 10 days time so its something to look forward to. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did the elephant get up the tree?

It climbed up its own trunk?

Nope it sat on an acorn and waited for it to grow.

How did the elephant get down from the tree?"

Lol obvious really

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Good evening Lorna,

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How did the elephant get up the tree?

It climbed up its own trunk?

Nope it sat on an acorn and waited for it to grow.

How did the elephant get down from the tree?

Lol obvious really

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good evening Lorna,

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted."

I actually like my future mother in law. I think she me prefers me to Ash.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

How did the elephant hide in a tree?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How did the elephant hide in a tree?"

I dont know.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Good evening Lorna,

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

I actually like my future mother in law. I think she me prefers me to Ash.

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

"Good evening Lorna,

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

I actually like my future mother in law. I think she me prefers me to Ash.

how does Ash feel about that?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"How did the elephant hide in a tree?

I dont know."

It painted its toenails red and pretended to be a bunch of cherries

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good evening Lorna,

What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

I actually like my future mother in law. I think she me prefers me to Ash.

how does Ash feel about that? "

He knows I'm brilliant so he's not surprised.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How did the elephant hide in a tree?

I dont know.

It painted its toenails red and pretended to be a bunch of cherries

That made me giggle more that it should. X

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"How did the elephant hide in a tree?

I dont know.

It painted its toenails red and pretended to be a bunch of cherries

That made me giggle more that it should. X"

Wait for it ... there's a follow-up joke coming...

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By *urious_Female89Woman
over a year ago

great yarmouth

"Hello Lorna!

Hello gorgeous.

How's your night going? X

Its a bit naff as I'm rocking a super bad hangover..!

other than that its all good

How is yours? X

Oh well at least you had fun.

Rather boring day but we have just booked a break away for 10 days time so its something to look forward to. X"

Oh that sounds great! Where are you heading?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the scarecrow win an award.. Because he was outstanding in his field !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How did the elephant hide in a tree?

I dont know.

It painted its toenails red and pretended to be a bunch of cherries

That made me giggle more that it should. X

Wait for it ... there's a follow-up joke coming..."

.......drum roll please......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

1 hour to go and 100 posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we nearly there yet Lorna

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"How did the elephant hide in a tree?

I dont know.

It painted its toenails red and pretended to be a bunch of cherries

That made me giggle more that it should. X

Wait for it ... there's a follow-up joke coming...

.......drum roll please......

It's taking a while ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are we nearly there yet Lorna

Nope!

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I’m on the gin

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Are we there yet now?

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

If you don't make it in time do you have to strip off a sock?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"I’m on the gin"

Me too ... Gordon's pink .... with apple and raspberry mixer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you see a robbery at an Apple store does that make you a iWitness

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"I’m on the gin

Me too ... Gordon's pink .... with apple and raspberry mixer "

Oooh nice!! I went on a mission round various supermarkets to find the strawberry and black pepper I was craving... I’m a happy bunny now!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m on the gin"

When are you not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are we there yet now?"

Not yet.

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

"Are we there yet now?

Not yet.

But why ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are we there yet now?

Not yet.

But why ??"

Because we are on our way.

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By *inkyKittyWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

175 of what???

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By *ooby birdWoman
over a year ago

North West

"Are we there yet now?

Not yet.

Are we there now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And go....."

What do you mean!

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"175 of what???"

175 is the cut-off point for threads, after which no more comments are allowed other than ones already in the process of being written when the number is reached. Then the thread is closed automatically.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are we there yet now?

Not yet.

Are we there now? "

We might be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And go.....

What do you mean!

Its fairly obvious.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"175 of what???

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

98!

Evening Lorna

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"98!

Evening Lorna

Yayyyyyyy DC. I knew I could count on you.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

We need to up our game to get to 175 before 21:00

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Trying, trying

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We need to up our game to get to 175 before 21:00

I know.

75 posts and 30 minutes to go.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trying, trying

Try harder!

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Ooo harder

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ooo harder"

Truth you

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Ooo harder

Truth you

Trust me also

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"We need to up our game to get to 175 before 21:00

I know.

75 posts and 30 minutes to go.

Sorry, I meant 21:30 obviously

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ooo harder

Truth you

Trust me also

I miss you when you don't post.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Ooo harder

Truth you

Trust me also

I miss you when you don't post.

I'm posting ... I'm fecking posting

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Trying, trying

Try harder!

I'm well 'ard, me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ooo harder

Truth you

Trust me also

I miss you when you don't post.

I'm posting ... I'm fecking posting

I know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trying, trying

Try harder!

I'm well 'ard, me

Oh we know.

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By *lipy123TV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hiya just poured my 1st pint

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Where do you buy your socks Lorna?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hiya just poured my 1st pint

Yayyyyyyy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Where do you buy your socks Lorna? "

Primark or M&S I'm a woman of extremes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi come say hi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

guy goes into the doctors.

puts willy on desk.

doctors asks 'whats wrong with that?'

man 'fuck all its a cracker'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

three words that can ruin a man's ego:

"Is that all"

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"three words that can ruin a man's ego:

"Is that all""

Or "is it in?"

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

"Where do you buy your socks Lorna?

Primark or M&S I'm a woman of extremes. "

I like your style. I’m equally designer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi come say hi "

Hi right back at ya.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"three words that can ruin a man's ego:

"Is that all"

Or "is it in?"

"
Or wake me up when you've finished

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

15 mins to go Lorna

What's an indecisive persons favourite deodorant?

Not Sure.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"three words that can ruin a man's ego:

"Is that all"

Or "is it in?"

Or wake me up when you've finished

I thought it was wake me up with your dildo

Cos I don't fancy on wanking solo

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Too much pressure...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"three words that can ruin a man's ego:

"Is that all"

Or "is it in?"

Or wake me up when you've finished

I thought it was wake me up with your dildo

Cos I don't fancy on wanking solo"

Few extra pair of hands always preferred than going solo

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"three words that can ruin a man's ego:

"Is that all"

Or "is it in?"

Or wake me up when you've finished

I thought it was wake me up with your dildo

Cos I don't fancy on wanking solo

Few extra pair of hands always preferred than going solo "

You need to date a squid then

Then you'll get 10 tickles

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I dont think we are going to make it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

10 mins left...

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"I dont think we are going to make it.

Need a quick spurt

May be a few of those when lockdown ends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

9 now

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Trying to push over the line

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont think we are going to make it.

Need a quick spurt

May be a few of those when lockdown ends"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"9 now"

7 now

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"I dont think we are going to make it.

Need a quick spurt

May be a few of those when lockdown ends

What?

I'm trying to help

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Trying to push over the line

Push harder.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Trying to push over the line

Push harder. "

That's what she said

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Trying to push over the line

Push harder. "

I'm not allowed to yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

143?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"143?"

Not 175 though is it.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"143?

Not 175 though is it.

Remember Nowhereman's grandfather

B positive

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

There is just 29 to go

It could be done

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Think positive there’s 4 mins left

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Just keep posting

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By *ewsub4dommeMan
over a year ago

thirsk

Getting close now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"143?

Not 175 though is it.

Remember Nowhereman's grandfather

B positive

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

And it can get to 175

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

150?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yo, 28 or less

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

Quick quick quick

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Fuck sake 3 minutes

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

How many left?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Quick quick quick "

Faster faster

Push ... push

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Kiss

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Three minutes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Quick quick quick "

We need 20 more in 3 minutes.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

Is this helping?

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Ok then.

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan
over a year ago

buckinghamshire

Before you do anything else just remember that square root of -1 equals I ok. Dont want you pranging your toe on the radiator

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Is this helping? "

I think so

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

And..

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Have I said nice socks Lorna?

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kiss"

Pour a gin. This is nerve racking.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

I just bought a new corset

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

How many needed now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Every little helps

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have I said nice socks Lorna?"

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Ye of little faith!!

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

And am drinking blueberry gin

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Merry Christmas

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Nearly there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

Ones a little heavier the other is a little lighter

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

I need to take the dog for a walk

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

200 before 22:00 anyone

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